want_so_bad

i remember hearing something like you can have false negatives but no false positive results?? i dont know for sure. i would go to the doctor and get a blood test. better to know for sure then just wonder. do you have any other symptoms? breast tenderness? morning sickness? fatigue? good luck!

i had gained about 5lbs between my fills too. i waited too long and can only blame myself. but now i have lost that 5 again and am gonna keep going! at least that is what i am telling myself. maybe your fill will take a couple days to "take". i know mine did. after i got mine i was like, dang, nothing...but then a few days later, oh boy do i have restriction! dont hate yourself. i was doing that, but realized i wasnt getting anywhere. we will have ups and downs, its better to just forgive yourself and move one. focus more on what you can do now instead of what you did then. i know, i know, so much easier said then done. i am just amazed that i am actually doing it, so i know you can too!

i have so majorly screwed up! i dont know if my ability to eat more comes from needing another fill or if i have stretched my pouch or what! i have eaten horribly the last couple weeks, each day getting worse i swear! what the hell is wrong with me? i had a hard time before, but thought i had gotten my mind wrapped around what i needed to be doing and then it is like i walked into a brick wall, BAM! i really hope that i pull myself together before i really hurt myself! i have my second fill scheduled for the 27 w/ a fluoro and i am so scared that i have stretched my pouch. i tell myself, maybe its just because you have lost enough and need that additional fill..that is why you can eat more now. my mom says i am not eating as much as i think i am, but i just feel bad, ya know? damn these holidays! i will be happy when they are over and life gets back to "normal". thanks for letting me vent.

things are definately looking up. i have pretty good restriction since my second fill. i am really tight in the am and dont even dare try to eat anything until afternoon besides coffee and Water. its not even worth it! i have decided to start tracking what i eat as i havent really lost much from this fill. but i know that is because i have been making bad food choices...picking what would go down easily, instead of finding the right healthy one that will work. but today i just feel everything is gonna start workin for me (meaning i am gonna get my butt in gear! and back on the wagon!!!). reading some of the posts it seems like people go the idea that i was blaming the band for my whole failing rant. i wasnt. i was blaming myself. i KNOW this band is only a tool, not a magic cure. i KNOW it will work when i decide to work it. that said, it was good to get the kick in the butt that came along with those other comments. so thanks. and i hope everyone is doing better.

if only people who made those stupid "cheating" comments new just how freakin hard this is! this is the farthest thing from the easy way out i have ever known. god lord, people piss me off! i guess you could tell your friend to just remember that he knows how much work he is putting into his choice and he knows he isnt cheating, so everyone thats says that can jump off a cliff! and prolly sending him here like everyone said would be a great idea too! tell him to keep his head up, screw those downers!

i didnt read all the other posts, so some of this may be repeated. we did a sort-of-potluck reception. we paid for the meat/cheese trays and rolls. then we had our aunts/uncles/cousins bring salads, Cookies, etc... but only if they had offered. and we made some ourselves too. my friends mom did our cake. i made the cute little mints...got the molds from a friend who made them for her wedding. its a simple recipe and makes the best mints ever! (pm me if you want it.) i made those ahead of time and froze them. made some veggie trays we had my mom take our pictures and then made frames and set those around. for center pieces we took those small fish bowls you can get at walmart, put some irridisent (sp wrong, sorry) rocks in, then a little candle. we put those on top of mirrors and then sprinkled wedding confetti (also bought at walmart). if i can think of anything else, i will let ya know. good luck

great job! i bet that feels great. keep up the good work!

pippin- house is my fav show right now. i dvr it every week and then rewatch them when nothing else is on, so pretty much all the time. hugh laurie is just so sexy, yummy yummy. i am also a huge fan of law and order. ci is my fav i think, but i love svu too. and the regular. they are all good. ahh, i also get engrossed in the surgical types shows, and the trauma ones, life in the er, big medicine. makes me wish i would stayed in the nursing program...ah, but life takes different paths sometimes....

crystal--while i listen to pretty much everything i have to say country is my favorite--george strait is my god! lol.... drives my hubby crazy how i can from george to akon to... pippin--love to read too! patricia cornwell--have you read anything by her? great books about kay scarpetta--a medical examiner! i have read them all, over and over. great series. i just finished reading stephanie meyer's twilight, new moon and eclipse. i must say i couldnt put them down and finished all three in a week. the last one in a day! boy does my house need work! oh well, the mess will always be there! a good book cant wait. i am also big on forensic's and love those type of shows. i like the autopsy ones that used to be on hbo. dr g medical examiner (on tlc?) is good too most times.

i am 27...gonna be 28 next week...live in the uninhabited (according to derik :eek:) state of wyoming. i have been married for 2 1/2 years. i have one stepson, one bio son and one bio daughter. they boys 10 months apart is all, so its a lot like having twins. and our sweet baby girl will be turning 1 next month. seems like i just had her. anyways.... i have been banded for 3 months now. still working on gettin some of this figured out, the biggest part being the head hunger. it really messes with me. plus the stress and emotional eating. oh well, all in good time. a new step each new day, right?

so i had my fill the 27 (the second one). and everything was fine. i was just being a paranoid nut job there for awhile . i had lost since my first fill and the doc said things looked good. i hated to admit to him i felt like such a failure and why. he was great. he reassured me that this was prolly one of the hardest things ever to do (i SO agree) and that it was only natural to have slip ups. the more important thing was how i recovered from them. he made me feel so much better! since then i have MAJOR restriction. its interesting. one day i will be fine, have good restriction but can eat. then the next day i cant eat a thing and can barely get liquids down. but i am making healthier choices and feeling so much better now. i have decided that i wont wait so long to get a fill when i start to feeling like i need another one. dont want to go into panic mode again and question everything and myself so much. becky---i have noticed i am much colder all the time now. must be from the weight loss? i have been driving my hubby nuts, i am freezing and he is pouring sweat because i keep turning the heat up. hatmama---my surgery date was 10/4 too! as i understand it, its best to eat your Protein first to make sure you are getting enough in, plus it will help to keep you full longer. i am saving too, for a tummy tuck and new cute perky boobies! lol. i can not wait! but, all in good time. my plan is to get to goal and then maintain that weight for a year before any plastic surgery. and thank so everyone. it really helps to hear that i am not alone in my struggles and such. although, i must say, i wish none of us were! but that will come with experience and each passing day i think. i hope things are looking up for everyone else as well.

i was banded on 10/4. last night i started noticing some soreness in my left side where the port is. if i turned or twisted it was kind of like a dull burning pain (does that make sense?) it also felt like that if i pushed on the area. i woke up and nothing. now this afternoon i am noticing the soreness returning. i also have a cold and have been coughin like crazy. maybe i just pulled somthing? i dont know. i am freakin out that maybe i did some damage or slipped. what does a slip feel like? horrid unbearable pain? i dont know! please help! i feel myself on the verge of a panic and that is just not like me!

i have lost an average 2 year old..... or i have lost my 10 mth old who weighs that much! holy cow! thinkin of it like that, thinkin that not long ago i was luggin her around on me, thats crazy!

I call BULLSHIT! Wyoming is a great place to live! :rose: and there are some thing things I dont understand, perhaps someone can help me to...and i acknowlege my incredible lack of any serious knowledge on this subject, so go easy on me....why is it our (collectively) fault that some of these people make choices in their lives that lead them down their shitty roads to their shitty lives? yeah, i opened and gave you that beer! i made you have that gambling problem. like i encourage you to not make something of yourself. what happened to your people was not right and it was horrible, but that was a long time ago. stop the self pity and make something of yourselves. make those ancestors you so readily spout off about proud! i just dont understand why or how dwelling on the injustices of years past are helping your people to become better NOW!?

i like to mix 1/2 lemonade and 1/2 a reg ice tea. tastes pretty good. i found this at the grocery store as a reg calorie product and got hooked, but dont wan those empty calories. the crystal light version is pretty good. i did not like the white tea crystal lights. yuck.

i am now 2 months, 2 weeks out and i still have hard times. especially with the holidays and all the treats around. i think it is normal. we have experienced major life changes. keep you head up!

ok, so this post is basically just a place for me to write down what i need to do (get back to doing). i welcome and hope for advice and words of encouragement. i know i have not been eating like i am supposed to. i take full responsibility for my stupidity and lack of, lack of, well...hell, a lack of i dont know exactly what, but a lack of it for sure! maybe just a lack of caring lately? something anyways. i have made poor eating choices. not really poor food choices, just poor choices in the amounts of food i have been eating. ok, and since i am just putting this out there to try and help myself, i have made poor food choices too. pretty much every night for a week. i have been accepting of these choices because i have not gained back any weight, and have in fact lost another pound. that is what makes this so hard for me. that said, i know i have to change the choices i have been making. this is my TO DO/NOT TO DO list: 1) i will eat my Protein first, followed by veggies/fruit 2) i will NOT drink until a 1/2 hour has passed from eating 3) i will NOT eat empty carbs 4) i will NOT eat more then 1/2 cup at a time ( i have some questions about this, but am going to post those in the general forum or the support one) 5) i will excercise 3 times a week (this is my restart goal, which i hope to up after i get back into the swing of things!), both cardio and toning/weights 6) i will come here for support when i am feeling the urge to snack/eat when i am not really hungry. even if its just to post to post to keep my fingers busy and away from food. (i apologize ahead of time for this!) ok, so that is about all i have for now. this all came about after i ate lunch today. it kinda just hit me, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??? how stupid i am being! i didnt have this surgery and get this wonderful tool to just be stupid and not work it! i am gonna work it! i am gonna do this and start back to losing at a more consistant rate. i think if i stick to these things i will be successful. that, and i get a fill on the 27!

i have questions relating to the amount of food one should eat per meal. i have read and reread everything from my surgery doctor (in mexico) and i cant find a place where there was a specified amount i should eat. it says the "typical" eat Protein first, avoid empty carbs, etc etc.... fast forward to my fill doctor who tells me that i should have no more then 1/2 cup per meal. 1/2 cup 4 times a day actually. then i was reading through posts here and it seems that everyone's amounts vary. which i know is normal. i am not really even sure what my question is, or better how to phrase it. if i eat until i am satisified and that amount is more then 1/2 a cup and yet i am losing weight, is this "bad"? is the 1/2 cup "rule" to keep from stretching the pouch? how likely is it to stretch the pouch? i mean, i know that by constantly overeating and stuffing the pouch, it is going to stretch, but how likely is that? does that take weeks? months? days? how hard is it to shrink the pouch after you have stretched it? my fill doctor said that you can shrink it after stretching it, i was just wondering a general how long that takes? good thing i have a fill on the 27. seems like i have a bunch of new questions for the doc. i just wanted to get input from fellow bansters. thanks!

so today started as a really good day. i was so excited and happy about my progress as this morning i hit the 180's! yes, only 189, but still, yippee for me! then this afternoon i printed the pictures of our company christmas party from this past weekend. now i feel like crap again! omg, i look so huge. my face is all really fat and my eyes are all squinty. i thought i would be lookin better in photos, but NO!, i dont! urg, how something so simple can just totally ruin my mood and outlook. it just sucks! sorry, i just had to vent.

AMEN! and Merry Christmas!

name...............start#............current#.........goal#........to go want_so_bad.....193.5............191............ .180.............11

i have used the imitrex nasal spray. it worked pretty good. didnt taste very good as it drained, but seemed to work pretty quickly. i also use the imitrex injector pen. they work quickly too.

for the first time since my surgery someone other then my mom and sisters noticed my loss! it feels great. how funny it is that one little comment can completely make your day! it makes me even more motivated!

so thanksgiving went great. i stuck to my plan, didnt overeat, noone seemed to notice that i wasnt eating (noone knows i had this). at times i had to walk away/out of kitchen/dining area because it was hard. i am proud of myself. so then why do i feel so crappy and blue today? today all i seem to be thinkin about was this or that food that i didnt eat yesterday. today i feel huge and fat and bloaty and just want to cry. i should be rejoicing that i made it through my first holiday meal(s) and did great. its all i can do to not bawl my eyes out typing this! i dont even know what i am looking for in coming here. maybe i just need to vent? but i want feedback??? sorry to just ramble on like this. lets hope tomorrow is a better day. :faint:

i lied. over the past couple years i have had several problems in the "female" department. so i just told my boss i had to have something of that nature taken care of again. he asked no more questions! i missed thursday and friday and was back to work monday. i did miss tuesday, due to overdoing things monday, but then i was back. i took it easy and noone questioned me. that is the same thing that i told family. the few times people said anything about what i was eating, or more so, lack of eating, i just said i was on yet ANOTHER diet. i have tried so many so often, everyone just kinda rolled their eyes and went with it. no more questions. over thanksgiving a cousin i hadnt seen in a long time mentioned that i looked good and what was i doing. i told her i was really watching what i ate. and i am, so i didnt lie. people are so judgemental. why add that stressor to my already stressed out life? NO THANKS! but i think its great when people can share and get support. i think everyone is just different and there is no right or wrong.