salsa1877

Oh how I love today. NOT. Frustrated, angry (trying to get over it) and stuck, stuck, stuck!!!

Just looking at this I think calorie wise you are doing great. However, I think the reason you are not staying full is do to the lack of dense MEAT proteins. Kashi has a fair amount of protein but it isn't the same thing.There are more carbs than protein so your body ends up digesting it more like a carb than like a protein. That would be my only suggestion.

I did sleep OK last night. Not as good as the night before. I woke up a couple of times hyperventilating. I think I am a little anxious about next week. I don't have much of a choice...I have to be able to work full days next week. My student teacher is still there but this is ridiculous. I don't like to not be able to do what I want. For the last two years I have just continuously told myself that whatever I wanted my body to do...it would do. So now...that doesn't work It's like admitting defeat. Freaks me out! On a good note, I get to go to Philadelphia in March to the National Science Teacher's Convention. The school will pay for my flight, the conference, food, car and hotel for 4 nights. But then Lee and I are going to extend the trip and spend 4 days in DC. That is what I am using my income tax money for. He is getting unemployment and got a small severance package from his work so money fortunately isn't as tight as we feared! Plus we do have some in savings. I will have to pay for Lee's flight and our hotels in DC and food but that is it. We were debating on DC or NYC and decided to go to DC because so much of the stuff that we want to do is free. The Smithsonian, almost all the monuments, the zoo, the supreme court etc...all free! That is my kind of price. We will take the train from Philly to DC and then go back to Philly to fly out. I'm so excited. Well I need to get going on grades! I need to send out emails to all of my students. Fortunately my student teacher did all of the grade sheets...I just need to write a letter an email them.

I too have heard that the calories are underestimated. It wasn't on GMA that I heard it but on some other program. What they said is that on packages that have more than one serving in them that the calories for the measurement are never accurate. For example if you have a "cup" of cereal you think it is 110 calories. However if you weigh that cup you realize that it is more than the grams that are shown on the box. The calories for the "gram" measurement is MUCH more accurate. Well I am getting ready to go to the gym. I didn't take the nap. I kind of woke up a little bit when I got up and moved around a little bit. OMG...they have now turned the Big Mac into a snack wrap. Well there is another way to make people believe that they are getting something healthy when they clearly aren't. UGH...I'm so sick of fast food places. We did eat at KFC yesterday after the doc. Their grilled chicken pieces are carb free but they were sooooo greasy. I think they just deep fry them without the coating. Lee tried one of the wings that I had and spit it out. I hadn't eat in 4 hours and was starving so I ate them 1 only had 4 wings and a side salad so it wasn't too bad. Check back later.

I really want to take a nap but I also want to sleep tonight...DILEMMA!! food is going really well for me right now. I love Atkins. I haven't been hungry, haven't been craving foods and the scale looked half way decent today!! Mommy - Twitter away...gives me something to do besides stare at my moodle. I did finish my evolution unit. 13 different lessons with 13 different activities...some are fun...some are kind of boring but necessary. The kids seem to like the new way of teaching biology though so I think I finally found something that worked!

I didn't even eat. I rolled back over (I was posting from my iPhone in bed!) and went back to sleep. I only got out of bed when I felt awake. Orders followed!!

No I'm up. Slept pretty good last night. I tried the bed again so my back is a little sore. Lee has school testing today so I woke up when his alarm went off. Trying to decide if I should get up and go to work or sleep. My hunger may pull me out of bed. Chat later.

Is the wii fit plus better than the wii fit? What I don't like about the wii fit is that you have to wait so long in between each activity. Do you have to do that on the wii fit plus?

I just got back from the doctor. No sleeping pills but she did give my the diflucan for the yeast infection. She told me to try sleeping again tonight and if that doesn't work to call her tomorrow and she will call in a prescription. She said she has given so many people sleeping pill prescriptions after surgery and they get addicted. She said she has had way less problems with pain pills than with sleeping pills so she is apprehensive. I do have a bit of an infection so stronger antibiotics. If it isn't better by Monday she is putting me on IV antibiotics! Fun time! Phyl, sorry I stole your sleep but I REALLY needed it!! Work went well today. The jackass English teacher actually was nice to me today. He actually said some complimentary things! Karla - I really hope you don't think I am mad at you because I'm not. I hope I didn't come across snappy, cuz I didn't mean to! Well I'm marinating my meat for dinner tonight. We are having cuban steaks (palomilla??) Rachael Ray had them on the other day and they looked yummy! I will check in later.

I actually did sleep last night. I went to bed at 11 woke up at 130 when DH came home from game night and then fell back asleep until my alarm went off at 6:00. I decided to come into work today for a half day. I have dr appts all afternoon but for the first time since surgery I am not completely in pain!!! Still a little sore, but not horrible like it has been. I really think that it was the lack of sleep. Well I have to figure out what is going on with my moodle. I will check in later.

I didn't take offense to it...I just wanted to clarify a few things. No hurt feelings!:thumbup:

I'm planning on making the trip down there sometime this summer. If Lee isn't working we will probably drive down. I have the week before and the week after my birthday off. I could spend my birthday with my mommy!!! Hopefully you have some major HOT weather this time! I'm feeling better. I think it is because I don't have the worries of food right now. I'm not starving (or whats even worse is the fear that I am going to starve!) I still have a fat girl brain! The yeast infection is MUCH better today. Still not completely gone but the 1 day medicine worked for the most part. Also I did get some sleep this morning. Still tired but doing much better.

I have decided to go back to full blown Atkins until I can get to the gym. I don't need the carbs for exercise right now and all that I had to make sure of is that I am getting enough cals from protein. This way I can eat when I'm hungry and I won't gain weight. I might even lose a few pounds. But it isn't about weight loss right now or even about calories. I did talk to the doctor about this. She said that if it will put my mind at ease about my food and my weight she is fine with it. All she is concerned about is protein so this will work well. She is also going to call my PCP to discuss what sleeping pill to put me on. She really doesn't want to give me one and would rather just have me sleep when I'm tired. So she told me to work, sleep when I get home, wake up when I'm not tired. Then try to adjust sleeping over the weekends. But if my PCP feels that it is okay to give me pills she will. They are good friends but my PCP will give it to her straight so I will do what ever they feel is best. Well I'm going to eat breakfast and then maybe try to get some more sleep!

I don't want to sound defensive but I do need to clarify a few things. I have no extra money right now. I just paid 5000$ for my surgery before break and still owe my doctor 1500$ and Lee just got laid off. We are a one income family and I have a staggering amount of bills. I wouldn't have had the surgery if I would have know that Lee wasn't going to have the job, but he job seemed so safe that it never even crossed my mind. I don't have ADHD...I am obsessive and a perfectionist. When I say that I you would have to induce a coma to get me to stay on the couch it is because I can't sit and do nothing. I can sit at my desk for hours without moving as long as I am working. But I can't sit and do nothing. Part of my obsessive disorder is that I feel that if I am not doing something productive that I am worthless. This is why I schedule myself to work 12 hours a day. I know I need to rest to heal. That is why I haven't gone to the gym for the last several days. But I love exercise. It is what clears my mind. It is my stress relief and that has been taken away from me. Most of my problem is that I HATE HATE HATE where I live. even if I do go into the next town...there is nothing to do. I'm a big city girl and the entire county has less people than the last 3 cities I have lived in!! Because of all the snow I can't just get up and go. Until late spring I feel trapped and claustrophobic. We live less than 30 minutes from the Cascade mountain range. Every place and person that I love beside my DH are on the other side of that mountain range. I just need to get the hell out of here, but that isn't happening for another year and a half. That means at least 1 more winter here. I do much better in the summer. It isn't SAD because I love the clouds and the rain...I hate being trapped because of the snow. I didn't go to work today but I can't just take sick leave like other teachers. We don't get substitutes so when I miss work my kids don't have class. Plus we only have 6 employees. Right now 2 of them are in Florida at a conference and one is in Portland at a mandatory meeting to receive our grant. That only leaves 2 people to run the entire school. I slept for about 3 hours last night and right now I am in survival mode. I'm just struggling right now. I have no good friends here. All of my good friends are scattered throughout the country. The people in this area are crazy too. WAAAAAY to redneck for me! Well I am going to try to get some more sleep.

I worked from 6 - 1 which was a little longer than I had hoped. But I am in the middle of needing to post grades and meet with students. I did text my student teacher and told her that I may not make it in tomorrow. I only teach my kids 2 days a week so to cancel classes is huge for me because it means I miss half the days of instruction. She can do all of my classes except AP and physics. However I may just have to break down and cancel AP tomorrow. Greg's comment about the paper is that "ordering is beneath me...that's what a secretary does." I had Lee go buy me paper so that I could at least get done what I needed to. But now kids have an excuse to not turn things in. My moodles are f'ed up right now and kids can't submit things like they should be able to. So instead they were supposed to print off their projects and turn them into the basket on my desk. Well they couldn't do that either. So then they were supposed to email it to me. Problem...their projects were too big to attach as emails. It was NUTS! The yeast infection is from the almost constant 3 weeks that I have been on antibiotics (and I have to be on them for another week!) We don't have halls at our apts. They are outside entrances. We don't have a mall in our town and the mall that is in the next town is all outside entrances so it is too cold. I guess I could go walk around Wal-Mart with a fanny pack on like the old ladies do in the morning:rolleyes2: I really don't want sugar. I want REAL food. I have been starving for hearty foods. I do like yogurt and I have been eating it daily since surgery to prevent the infection and I guess I held off until today. The other problem is that the anesthesia is screwing with my memory. Between that and the lack of sleep I can barely spell my own name!! After the doctor's appt I wanted to go to JC Penny because they were having their clearance sales and I wanted to get some new clothes. Well the small shirts all fit but I was in size 10 pants. Lee is convinced that I am swollen (but I should be swollen down there. My swelling is up top. I had a bit of a meltdown. We don't get to go into Bend a lot because of gas. Lee doesn't like to go there just because so I can only go when we have a purpose like needing to go to Costco, game nights, or going to the doctor. Right now I can't drive because it hurts and because I'm scared to drive in the icy conditions. Well I am going to try to lay down and go to sleep. I'll check back in the morning!

Okay...going to whine. It is a pity party for 1. Let me list what is wrong. 1. I hurt... I mean REALLY bad. Had to take a pain pill. 2. I am so swollen. 3. Because I have done NOTHING since surgery and for about 3 weeks before surgery my pants don't fit. Cried in the dressing room yesterday for the first time in a long time about things not fitting. 4. I had a deep cleaning/root planing at the dentist and now on top of everything else hurting my mouth hurts. 5. I was exhausted all day and now that it is getting close to bed time...I'm WIDE awake. 6. I can't drive and I'm sick of being in the house. Lee is off with our gaming group learning how to play a game. Then tomorrow he is going back to actually play the game which takes about 6-7 hours. I am REALLY glad that he is going, but I'm tired of being at home. But even if I could drive I won't drive because of all the freezing rain. I'm not mad at him at all. I was the one who convinced him to go. 7. I can't go to the gym and run and I really need that outlet. I can't do anything at the gym until I see the doctor on Friday. 8. I can't take a bath and I want to (I know...petty but damnit I want a bath!!) 9. I am hungry all the time lately and it is really hard to stay in calories. I talked to the doctor today and she doesn't want me counting calories at all. She said I am in the most critical stage of internal healing and I need the calories. But go back to the previous reason that my clothes don't fit and you will understand my frustration. 10. I have a yeast infection (TMI!) from hell. She said to try the over the counter stuff and if it doesn't get better she will give a Rx for the pill on Friday. But meanwhile I have to survive until Friday. 11. My boss is gone at work and the jackass English teacher is in charge. It just sucks when Michael (my boss) and our secretary are both gone. We have no way to buy anything and we ran out of copy paper today. 12. I'm up to my neck in work and I have no energy to work on it. Even when I'm wide awake I am exhausted. Exhausted to the point that I can't even hardly function. Well I think that is it. I'm really questioning my sanity on this surgery. I should NOT have done it seeing that this was the first year at the charter school. But I so desperately wanted it done. I do have a plan to get the weight and sizes off. But there isn't much that I can do until I can go to the gym and work it. I already have my running schedule worked out assuming I can be back to running by Feb 1. My trainer always has me working on 2 goals at a time. No more, no less. So my two goals are 1. By May 2 (the day of my half marathon) to be back to 155 and back in my size 4's (if my thighs will let me!!) If my thighs prevent me from getting in my 4s because of muscle mass I will happily take my 6s! 2. By May 2 be able to run my half marathon under 2:30. Those are two reasonable goals I think. She may make me change the weight goal to a body fat % goal, which is fine. I am more worried about my size than my weight. Sorry for being a downer...I just needed to whine.

I would try to find WasaBubbleButt (sp?) She is the one that knows most of the info about mexican doctors.

Sleeping through the night was a no go. I kept my eyes open until about 7:30 and then fell asleep. I took some Simply Sleep which is the Tylenol PM...without the tylenol. Apparently I can't take that. It caused me to go CRAZY! I guess I woke up about 9:30 and was thrashing around and demanding that Lee take my temperature and cool me down. I guess I was screaming that I was so hot. I don't remember that at all. Then I remember waking up at 11:30 and pretty much doing the same thing. I was disoriented and throwing things. It was NUTS!!! I fell back asleep then woke up at 3 and couldn't go back to sleep for a long time. I think I finally fell asleep at 4:30ish just in time for my alarm to go off at 5! I won't be taking that again tonight. I feel no more rested than I did yesterday!!! I have a dentist appt at 2:00 today. yipeee! Food wasn't so good yesterday. I was starving all day long and in a lot of pain. So I just ate. Nothing I ate was unhealthy per se, I just ate WAY too much. Well I'm going to try to get motivated at work today. Though I can hardly keep my eyes open.

I didn't get to see the doc today. Her surgery ran long and so I saw the PA which is her husband. He said that it doesn't look split open to him (though I still think it does) so he didn't sew me up. Just am supposed to keep taking the antibiotic and use the antibacterial cream. Well I am so damn tired that I have to go to bed at 6:30 pm. I tool some sleeping meds and hope to sleep through the night. I'm only working half days this week. Chat later

If I ever have to spend 6 weeks horizontal on the couch there had better be some good meds to go along with that. They would have to keep me sedated, almost to the point of under anesthetic. It was hard enough to keep me down for a week!!! Well I'm going into work to get things ready for my student teacher. Then I am going to come home and take a little nap. I didn't sleep well last night at all. Talk later! Major hungries this morning. I ate my breakfast and feel like I haven't eaten anything. This is going to be a tough day.

I use the Sony headphones. They are blue and the go in the ear canal and over the ear. They don't fall out at all even when running. They are the only headphones that I can use. That's great to hear. What I have been reading and hearing from bariatric patients at the support group meetings in town is that the band is beginning to go out of style, especially in other parts of the world (which tend to be the leaders in bariatric surgery). The sleeve is the more preferred method in Mexico and several European countries. The US lags a bit!! I still probably would have chosen the band because of the reversibility, but the sleeve seems to be a good option for many. So after I last posted I went to take a shower and do an incision inspection only to find that my incision has split open under the left breast. :thumbdown: It is about 1/2 inch wide. I called the doc and she said to take a shower, lightly use antibacterial soap, dry and put the antibacterial cream that we have been using on it. Then we are to go in tomorrow and she is going to numb the area and restitch. :blink:My poor boss...I texted him to let him know that I would only be in to teach my AP chemistry class. He asked me what was wrong. Knowing he was squeamish I had tried to spare him. When I told him that I had split the incision and that I was having it restitched he said that he "slightly got nauseated" and had to delete the text. :smile2: This is funny coming from a guy who is a complete daredevil. I asked if I could have overdone it today and she said no. She said when you have as much tension on the incisions that I do that it is not terribly uncommon. It happens in about 25% of patients. Well I am going to go to sleep (hopefully):glare:. I am going into work for a meeting in the morning, going home, going back to work to teach a class, then going to the doc. It is actually kind of a nice thing that Lee isn't working right now. Driving HURTS so he is my chauffeur:tt1:.

Phew...I survived the day in tact and even better...without eating a single piece of non-planned food!!!! I stayed on plan all day. We are having baked macaroni and cheese for dinner....though most of the "macaroni" is cauliflower! I'm starving and exhausted...for me those words can be used interchangeably! Work went pretty well. I staved off most of the painful hugs and had a nice conversation with my boss. He called the pompous English teacher a moron and said that everyone was going to get a dose of reality in the morning at our staff meeting. I told him I was very happy to see that he had "grown a pair" over break. Before you have a heart attack that I said that to my boss...I've said it several times before. :rolleyes2: This is our 3rd school and 4th year together! Well I am exhausted so I'm going to lie down until dinner is ready. Then we are going to the gym. I don't know how far I will be able to go, but I want to go tonight. Chat later

I would be too afraid of going out of country for my PS. Not because of the lack of care or lack of medical knowledge (because some of the best doctors in PS are out of country). But I have had a few complications (passing out during the last surgery) and I want to make sure my doc is close. I have already seen her 4 times since surgery and will have follow up appts every friday for the next month. You just can't get that when you go out of country. You are more of a jet setter than I am though. I have only been to Canada twice and I lived 6 hours from the border!! I'm not saying that you shouldn't do it...I'm just saying I was too scared too!!

I will tell you that only 2 weeks off for a TT is pushing it. Me...stubborn ol' me took ALMOST 3 weeks off (1 week off from work and 2 weeks for break). I would like 1 more week off...I'm worried about how much I'm going to swell. Depending on how much you drain, you could have drains in for up to 3 weeks. I'm not sure about a face lift. I don't say that to scare anyone, just so that you are realistic. Janet if you had 2 weeks of vacation and 1 week of sick leave (if your job has that) it would be much better. I'm really nervous about going to work. Well off to blog.

I have the anti gravity chair and I slept in that for about the first week. Then it started hurting my back so I moved to the couch. That is the most comfortable place because I can kind of sleep on my side with the back of the couch as support. But I wanted to go into bed because I have been trying to go to sleep earlier and Lee isn't ready to go to bed. We only have the one couch so I either have to wait until he is ready to go to bed or I have to go upstairs to the bedroom. It has been somewhat okay for the last couple of days...yesterday was just hard. I was SO swollen from sitting all day at work and then my workout was TOUGH. I was just walking at my 2.0 pace but I was so swollen that I probably should have stopped...but the stubborn me said no. I will NOT be going to the gym tonight...I don't like that because I get no exercise all day but I can't have another night like last night. I will probably sleep on the couch tonight though. I can't really say that it is pain. It is more just discomfort. I would assume the face lift would be less painful because you don't need your face to walk, wipe your rear end, and get out of the chair. Those were the three biggest things with the TT.