sc_mama4

It is a very good tool but society needs to know the dark side of it. No matter now competent the surgeon is things still can go wrong. What scares me is how mainstream this surgery has become. The bariatric community of phsyicians needs to educate their patients more on the serious side effects this surgery can cause.

I had my surgery at Dwight D Eisenhower medical on Ft Gordon military post. I was a army wife...

Yup ur right bout the buttons part. Thanks for ur reply. Yall have helped me a lot made me feel better and I appreciate it. A lot.

He really is an amazing man. I actually talked to his best friend last night. One thing I told him is for one Austin is 37yrs old. He's never had a child and then suddenly he meets me a mom with three 11,9 and 3. He immediately delve into the role of dad, trying like all new dads do. One thing I think he struggles with is learning to put them completely first. He doesn't quiet get that its not smart to be out on holidays late at night because of drunks or because their tired etc. I talked to his best friend who's been a dad for 11 years like me and he said he's gonna see if he can kinda get him to that final ah-ha dad moment of okay it really isn't about me anymore. He plans on adopting my son and is adamantly trying with the girls. I'm frustrated because when he gets in these moods he gets hateful, stubborn and he doesn't get its about the kids. So I'm trying to figure out HOW to get him to see this and stop it because he's did this sorta thing more than once. His mom actually had to jump him one night before he just kept lingering around talking and she was was like "AUSTIN YOUR KIDS HAVE TO GO TO BED!" I try to say stuff, but then thats when his defensiveness kicks in. So what do u do? Whats worse is we're dealing with a shrink.. he's a psychologist himself. o.O

I deleted this bc I don't want him reading that I shared our convo. Thanks for the messages and responses u guys I appreciate it.

I just wanted understanding of how to have a man understand at 11pm when ur friend is with friends and their kids are gone and my kids are tired a d asleep didn't need to be drove 30mins to hand deliver tickets when he was driving by our house this morning. He said he didn't want to get up to give them to him. I just don't understand how when he's been sick this entire week I've took great care of him. But I get sick vomit get attitude bc I'm walking slow and then told I don't like his friends bc I just wanted ro cone home a d lay down. Sorry I just wanted to be vent bc my feelings where hurt when I do so much fo someone I'm treated like that. That's all.

Yes I've been in therapy since 2004 and I see my current therapist once a week. Thanks for all your comments I appreciate the honesty. To be hon est would it be easier if I just not post here anymore? A honest answer would be appreciated.

Also, I've tried to live on my own I was robbed twice which is why I decided to do the move I did. To repeat myself I have my family mothers dead, fathers left at ,9mos and no siblings what so ever so. Its essentially me and them and ppl who don't pay child support hardly.

I don't want to be the constant bringer up of the shit we've been put through being fat. We know don't need reminders, but it seems as I've got small I have to continue to put up with being bullied just to keep the peace.

My boyfriend whom I love honestly more than any other man I've ever loved in my life has absolutely no idea the hell I've been through. He was the popular boy, well to do brought up happy all american everything came to him when needed. Me, the girl fat made fun of never allowed in groups constantly talked about and put down and just to have socialization I learned to accept the fat girl jokes as my way of fitting in.

Today, he and I had a beautiful day. We went to the masters watched golf and I wound up getting sick, dehydrated and vomited. Wound up having to go to first aid and be treated by a doc and get some zofran because the vomiting was pretty bad. Monday I had a severe seizure and that has left me this entire week weak sick tired lethargic and just plain sick. Today wondering around I was walking slow and he got upset and said he didn't want to walk like we were retarded at such a slow pace. I just couldn't keep up and then boom the vomiting started. On our way home I told him was his best friend going to come over to pick up the masters tickets for tomorrow or what. He said no we are going to drive them over. It's 11pm and all three kids are asleep and I for one and wore out. His buddy's kids were at a sleep over and they were having a party at their house. I said why can't he swing by in the morning to pick them up. I'm hit with instant attitude. He just doesn't get keeping me and my three kids out past midnight isn't such a problem. When I brought it up that I'm good to him and I take good care of hi and how he treats me at times it hurts he told me basically I live my life in a woes me kinda style. I didn't have this or that so wahh I didn't get this and I'm going to continue to live my life as the victim in my life. I don't understand. I want him to understand as a parent you put your kids first. When your first can drive by the next day to get tickets let that occur don't put them above the familly you "say" is your family. Then he brings up when we were first six mos together i wsa never sickand now I constantly i am. I'm tired and I keep viruses ever since I had my appendix rupture in November. Then this monday I have this seizure. I just want him to understand he's a dad. his family comes first .. like I put my family first I don't get it. I want help understanding somebody tell me if I"m wrong or if I'm right I need help.

Thanks a lot for your responses.

That's ur support sissy. U stay there. That's how my boyfriends family is. I stay strong u got support and it will het closer and bond tighter.

I have found that my sisters arent nearly as supportive of me lately as I am with them. I have always dropped my life' date=' and helped them through whatever they needed; divorce, having kids, babysitting so they can go out, etc. Now when I am off work with severe back issues and the upcoming surgery, no one calls or stops by. I thought I could count on them more and it makes me sad and depressed . But I would never cut them from my life. This phase will pass and we are family and that's what's important to me![/quote']

None of my family help me period. My boyfriends family does. Its really sad.

Just like I said before u can say I love u but at this moment I can't cope with this. Not everyone has that leave it to beaver family. I for one do not. My family hurt me worse than any stranger from the street. Do I love them yes but do I want to constantly be put down cry and get so physically upset I vomit hell no. So I surrounded myself with the ppl who truly were there for me and five years later they are still there my family ha is not. Misery loves company and you've been miserable long enough! And enough is enough take control of ur weight, ur life and ur happiness. Im sorry but unless you have family members like this u really don't understand the toll it can take. Not everybody has a great support system when it comes to this and I for one can say I didn't and I've lived this constant chaos and I'm sorry to be blunt but its bullshit needs to be stopped. Sometimes it takes a big wake up call to prove ur point. Leave on terms of I love you but I can't handle the stress...end of converstaion and walk off.

Yeah mine too get use to it its like a guys favorite thing to do o.O

Yeah I will never forget it either and u know what is so great is my daughter's were young when I had it so they don't remember me being heavy at all. That's the great part. =D

What phase diet u on?? Still puree or blands??

I got to thinking too. It may not be jealousy it maybe sheer panic. They have groups out there for rny pt and fsmilys w a member with rny. Perhaps that's it??

That's what I ran into and I now have chronic stomach pain from stress. Its just not healthy and even though its harsh this surgery is hard enough to deal with u just don't need more on top of the emotional roller coaster u go thru from rny. Family comes around they always do and let em know I love you but I can't deal with this and that on top of this its just too much and just ignore. That's what I did and I think my family got the hint. After all its not their fight its yours and only yours. You'll be fine and things will work out but for now like ya said concentrate on u... Take care xoxo

I leveled out at a year and a half. My weight has stayed between 125-135. Typically I will gain weight right before my cycle.

To be honest I use to be the girl who put up with everything. Now I could careless what you think. I want a life calm and peaceful. I actually cut ties with my moms sister in January bc she's 1) a alcoholic and 2) got pissed I tracked down my mothers organ recipients then had the largest newspaper back home do a story on her. She wrote me on fb first and I called her up and called her out. I don't care what people think of me. You need to do what's going to be condusive for you. Drama causes problems health, emotional etc. Your body is already going through enough. I can't tell u the decision to make but you need to weigh it down to what's the best for YOU not THEM. Good luck and hang in.

I went from 240 to 128 I have minimal sagging in my legs and I mean a little bit and none in my arms. However I've had three children and 3 c sections my stomach looks like a war zone. I wear a size 3-4 in jeans but if I had a tuck it would probably be a 0-2 bc in the 3-4's their baggy in my legs. I'm also five years out. I moisturized my skin a lot also but every body is different. I was n wlsg with a girl who had a washboard stomach after her wls. So it all depends. Don't waste ur money on gimmicks though k.

Lmfao o m g I laughed my ass off at yall!! And ur husband Lmao u gonna catch him doing back street undercover deals Lmao.

I was the same way but I had last supper syndrome. I ate Mexican food and I'm not kidding I think I ordered one of everything and ate and ate and ate. Then my friends threw a big bbq for my surgery and I drank like a fish and remember log rolling down a hill on post yelling at my GI buddies only fluffys can get speed like that o.O then took a bath w all my clothed on and puked on my foot. ..ppl u are drunk when u puke on ur own foot and u go ..well damn. I'm tellin ya I was a mess. LoL listening to yall reminded me of so much of what I went through. Then the day of surgery they left me alone in pre op and I was paniced so bad I thought about bailing. LoL I swear our minds at times can be horrible to live with. Yall hang in there and in two yrs we will look back and laugh our asses off at this stuff.

I've tried just about everybody's responses on this. Personally I look straight through them when they make comments like that. After a while you just become immune just like I became immune to being teased for being obese. Since you have to work with em I'd just say uh huh and go about my business after she realizes ur not even listening she'll shut up. I know its easier said but don't u allow anyone to bring you down this is ur moment in life not theirs. =)

Ur foot should be gettin lighter not heavier.. o.O. lol

Is she on a pre op diet? If so her NUT should have provided her with some literature on what to eat. I'm not sure of her plan and I'd hate to tell u wrong. Every surgeon has diff plans. If u can tell me kinda what her lines are I can give u some ideas of what I try to stick to.

Where here go help I all they wahy

Oh ok. My knees hurt bad also..especially in the cold.