petuniap

Thanks for this. I'm awhile away from surgery but I am concerned about how my thighs look after losing close to 100lbs. Knowing that TT can help...I'll probably be ok with not having "perfect" thighs.

I got banded about 3 years ago and have been working on losing my weight ever since. It's been slow going, lots of stops and starts, lots of periods were I did well and then "rested" for awhile...meaning, I didn't continue losing but didn't gain too much back either. In the past year, I picked up an exercise program, got much more stringent with what I'm eating and lost another good chunk of weight. I passed some thresholds, sized out of the plus sized stores, (briefly) hit the "100lbs pounds lost" mark etc. The biggest threshold seems to be how people view me. All of a sudden, people I have known for a long time are now saying "wow, you've lost a TON of weight, you look great!", even though they've seen me go through the progression. I'm by no means thin yet but I guess I'm more in a "normal" range of overweight now as opposed to whatever they were seeing me as before. I was having a conversation with a coworker about this tonight and she said..."well, you should be very proud of the accomplishment..you did it naturally. So many people do it by *getting surgery*, or crash dieting or taking pills". Obviously, she doesn't know I'm banded. I'm assuming she thinks I'm *NOT* in the surgery pool because I didn't suddenly lose a lot of weight. Only 2 people in the world know, my mom and my best friend. And the reason I don't tell anyone is because of what my coworker said. If people know you are banded, then all of sudden, you cheated somehow. You didn't do it naturally. And that pisses me off! I totally *worked* for this weight loss. I'm still working on it! I still fight myself every day about what I am eating and how much and when and why. There's no "cheating" involved. Would I be here today if I didn't get banded. Definitely not. God knows I tried. But I resent the thinking that using this tool somehow negates all of my hard work in people's eyes. It's like saying using a shovel to dig a ditch negates the work that went into that ditch. It's only valid if you used your hands. I call bullshit! I don't know what the solution is. A part of me wants to be that pioneer and explain to people that I did lose weight naturally but used the band as a tool to help me get to where I am. But the other part of me doesn't want to risk losing the approval I get from friends and family for losing weight. I'm afraid if I tell, that no matter how I explain it, they'll still label me a "cheater". I know I shouldn't care what people think but I'm not at that point yet. I do care what people think about some things. And this is one of them. Does anyone else run into this? How are you all dealing with it?

I've had my band for 3 years and... - I've never been a Water chugger so I don't miss that. But I can get down enough water in a gulp. I definitely did not stay as tight as I was when I first got the band. - I drink during meals all of the time. I got tired of the tiny bites and chew, chew, chew plus it made me look and feel abnormal when eating with friends. I still eat much slower than anyone else and my portions are tiny compared to what everyone else gets down but i use water to avoid any socially embarrassing sliming episodes or even when I eat alone and want to eat something that I know will potentially get stuck. It doesn't affect my stomach's ability to signal a "full feeling" to my brain, probably because my stomach has shrunk so much getting used to the small portions. 3-4 oz of Protein and a few bites of a vegetable is usually plenty to get a "full" feeling. But that came with practice, I wouldn't recommend it to a newbie. - I can get down deli meat by drinking water, otherwise it's stuck city. Same with white meat chicken....I rarely eat it because, even with a lubricant, it gives me a stuck feeling. I can eat a lot of other Proteins though..although I wish I enjoyed more types of fish because a nice white flaky fish is the easiest to eat with getting the stuck feeling and without any lubricant. - I drink seltzer like it's going out of style. I couldn't deal with the no carbonation thing so I started drinking diet sodas about 6 months after my surgery. Now I've given up artificial sweeteners so diet soda is out but I LIVE on those Canada Dry flavored seltzers, I'll take Poland Spring sparkling water in a pinch. Sometimes it's exactly what I need to hit the spot. It's also an amazing way to deal with going to a bar and not drinking alcohol (which I limit because of sugar content). If carbonation affected my pouch size, it wasn't noticeable at all to me. Any time I've stalled on weight loss, it was because of eating the wrong foods, never because I could eat too much of the right things. Really looking foward to getting a Sodastream so that I can make my own flavored seltzers. I guess my point is not to worry too much about what others' experience has been...you'll have your own which may be totally different and you are more adaptable than you think. There are things I miss a LOT, eating without fear of getting stuck is one of them, but the weight loss became worth it for me. Hope you all get to that point as well!

I was on my way to the gym yesterday and the weather had turned unexpectedly cold and rainy. I didn't have a jacket on, was only wearing a dress with a thin sweater over it and I was FREEZING. I had a bit of time to kill before my class so I decided to make a quick stop at a local coffee shop to warm up. I ordered a tea and because I was starving...a cookie. I know....why am I eating cookies? But this was a very small shop, they had nothing else and I decided to have it. Anyway, the guy at the counter said that he could give me a broken one for free and I said "hey it's still a cookie, right"? So I paid for the tea and then sat down to warm up a bit. After a few minutes, I hear the guy at the counter say my name. I looked up a bit surprised and he told me that his sister shared the same name. i couldn't figure out how he knew my name in the first place and I think I looked pretty funny looking at him and then looking down at myself to figure out where he'd read it. It turned out that I still had my work badge on, it was peeking out from under the sweater and that he could see it. When I finally put two and two together, I laughed slightly and said "I couldn't figure out how you knew that". He smiled and said that he didn't mean to creep me out and I smiled back and said that he hadn't. I wasn't sure if he was flirting or not...maybe he was a little. Normally, this is where I would freeze up and immediately go back to my tea without engaging but I took a breath, and made myself stay in the moment. We talked for a few minutes about the name thing and then I went back to finishing my tea and he went back to preparing to close the shop. Ten minutes later, it was time for me to head out so I said....thanks for the tea and cookie...and he said, you're welcome...have a good night...Petunia, with a smile. I looked back and smiled, waved and left. The whole thing made me realize how little experience I have with men being flirtatious. Intellectually, I know that men rarely talk to a woman without some idea of flirtation, I've learned that from my guy friends many, many times. And I know that when I was heavier, incidents like the one in the coffee shop almost never happend to me. So while he could have just been being friendly, it's more than likely that he was also being mildly flirtatious, but in a nice, chilled out, unscary way which is still fairly foreign to me. I can more easily believe that he was just being friendly because...why would anyone flirt with me? But I know that's self-defeating talk....there's no reason to believe that some portion of the male population won't find me attractive. And the longer I stay stuck in the idea that no one would be interested...the longer I'll stay single and lonely. So I'm proud of myself for not clamming up yesterday and for remaining open to the interaction. It didn't have to "go anywhere" but I think that if I stay open, then someday, it will "go somewhere" and I'll meet a nice guy. I'll forgive myself the cookie that brought that lesson with it

Jessy...I recommend you see a nutritionist...many lap-band doctors have one on-site at their offices. They can make specific recommendations for your diet. Also, consider buying a book on nutrition, I think you could really benefit from educating yourself more on this topic. It will help you to figure out what works for your body instead of simply following your doctor's advice or advice from this board. This is a lifelong journey and there are no "rules"....each person's formula will be different and none of us can know what will work for you. I can take a look at what you are eating and say...."up your protein, eat more fat, eat more vegetables...just eat more period"...but none of us are experts on anything except what works for us. A nutritionist will be able to give you far more specific advice and give you some guidelines around how much protein/fat/carbs you should be consuming to maintain a healthy rate of weight loss and what types of foods will satisfy those requirements.

You should UP your calories...I don't think you are eating enough and your body may be in starvation mode....holding onto fat as much as possible. Calorie cycling works really well for tricking the body into thinking it is not starving. So if you up your calories for a few days and then drop back them back down again, and repeat that cycle, that should kickstart the weight loss. Try adding in some healthy fats in there in the form of nuts (which add up calorically pretty quickly) or avocados. Good luck!

I currently work out 2 days a week, about to start going 3x a week and I have relaxed hair. I'm choosing to keep it...no natural styles for me! I currently workout on Tues and Thurs (going to start Sunday morn as well)...wash Thursday night and Sunday afternoon. It does take time but it's time I'm willing to devote because my vanity dictates that I work out regularly and keep my hair as I get so many compliments on it. Have you considered dropping the flat ironing and just wrapping it after the roller set? I think flat Iron heat is the worst for your hair...I only flat iron roots when I'm trying to stretch time between relaxers. Just wanted to present a side from someone who is making the relaxed hair/workout regimen work!

Hang in there, Fefe, we do all go through hard times and retraining our brains not to turn to food as a comfort is the most difficult part of this journey (IMHO). I had a job scare earlier this year and went through a VERY tough time at work....would cry every weekend over it. But I still lost weight. I think part of the reason was that what I ate was the one thing I had 100% complete control over...so I used that to make good choices. I would recommend a couple of things. Start off by being diligent to the exercise program that your personal trainer created for you. I started an exercise program right around the time my work stuff was getting uncomfortable and it was such a blessing. I started feeling better almost immediately and my workout became the only time I wasn't in a constant state of worry over my job, mostly because it was so hard that I couldn't think of anything other than getting through the workout. Plus, it's a great mood booster....I would walk out of the gym feeling great, exhausted, but great. I was only taking 2x a week classes so I didn't feel the pressure to exercise every day but I also had no excuse not to make it to class. Unless I was out of town for work....I was in class. My trainer even called me out for being consistent and seeing my progress as a direct result of that. After you get your exercise routine dialed in for awhile, then I'd concentrate on the food. I found it too overwhelming to do both at once but I also found that once I started exercising, I wanted to improve my stamina and endurance. I wanted to perform better at the gym and changing my diet was a way to do that. So my motivation became more than just "lose weight", it became "improve performance" and "feel better during my workout". I also found a new plan to follow. I know that many of us got the lapband to stop "dieting". But for me, I found out that some hard and fast food rules helps me to get back on track after I've strayed much easier than just promising to myself that I'll stay away from x,y,z. So I started a "carb cycling" diet which many bodybuilders use for quick fat loss. My plan wasn't to eat like that forever, I just did it for 30-60 days to get myself back on track. And it worked...I immediately kickstarted my weight loss in a big way. You can Google "carb-cycling" if you want to learn more about it or you can find a plan that you think will work for you. But having guidelines and following them strictly can be so helpful. Now I'm on a different plan....one that is more livable for me but still getting great results. For the first time since getting my lapband 3 years ago, I see a clear path to getting to my goal weight and I'm so excited by that. It gives me the motivation to keep going every day. Stick to it and you'll be losing more than 1 pound/month soon!

I have fallen off the wagon many, many times during this journey so I can confidently say this....it's you. Something happens after you've been eating properly and had success. You start to think you can "slack" a little. And for awhile you can. You have a snack sugar bar and the scale still moves downwards. At first, you are incredulous. Then you feel lucky that your indulgence wasn't punished. Then, slowly but surely, you think "hey...maybe I can eat more stuff and still lose weight". But that is a very slippery slope. Soon the scale stops moving and you hate that but you are still eating and now, you feel like you can't stop. You remember being on plan but you can't imagine how to you will get back to that place. Every morning you wake up, vowing that you won't slip today but then you do. So what to do? Go back to square one. Not bandster square one. Weight loss square one. 1. Focus on eating planned meals every 3-4 hours....if you are a meal eater, that means breakfast, lunch, dinner and 2 Snacks. If you are a grazer, you make sure each mini-meal is eaten. Not eating regularly throughout the day leaves room for overindulging at one particular meal where something that's bad for you looks incredibly tempting. 2. Make sure each meal contains Proteins and fat. I'm not a carb person but I get that some people must have them. If you do, make sure it's a healthy carb. By now, you know what to eat. But you stick to it. No little cutting of corners. If it's oatmeal....it's oatmeal, not oatmeal with a little brown sugar and some raisins. If it's coffee, it's black or w/ a splash of skim, not with a splash of half and half. If it's eggs, take it easy on (or omit) the cheese. Picture your pefect meal before you prepare it and then make/buy it and and eat it. 3. Drink lots of Water. Put it on a calendar if you have to. You drink as much water as you can get down...even when you are tired of it. Thirst often comes across as hunger to our brains. Plus drinking water keeps your stomach full and you are less likely to eat something 4. Have a plan for what your snacks will be. Not whatever is handy or whatever you see when you walk into a store. You purposefully pack a piece of fruit. You might eat it, you might not. But you have it. And if you feel snackish, you grab for it first. No exceptions. Even if you tell yourself that you will eat that piece of fruit and then buy M&Ms....you eat the fruit first. Chances are, you will not want the M&Ms after you eat that piece of fruit. And even if you do, you'll realize that M&Ms are not that great and you might not even finish the bag. Soon enough you don't even need the bag at all anymore. 5. You resist temptation at every turn. You say no to everything. This will be hard and you will hate it. But you still say no. The more you say no, the easier it gets. Easier, not easy. But if you say yes, you will self-sabotage. So you say no. If you've said no to yourself 20, 30, 40 times but you still can't resist.....you eat whatever is it, but you think about it as you are eating it. No mindless eating. Ask yourself if it's as good as you thought it would be. If it was worth it. 90% of the time, you'll find that the answer is no. It's not really. I've thrown out half of a lot of things I grabbed in a moment of weakness because I really thought about what I was doing when I was doing it. Sometimes 2-3 bites is all it takes to satisfy the craving. Then the trash gets the rest. And you go right back to saying no. 5a. The trash is your friend! Don't feel like you can't ever throw anything out because it's "wasting" it. It's all going to be waste anyway, the only difference is if it went through you first or not. Do not waste calories on eating something that you don't absolutely have to eat. If you were dying for something, have at most 3 bites of it and then throw it out without even thinking about it. 6. If you can't lay around the house or sit at your desk at work and keep saying no....do something else. Change your environment. Tell yourself, you'll eat what you want after a brief walk. Then, on your walk, think about what's really going on. Are you bored, tired, hungry? Then feed the real need. If it's hunger, have a cup of unsweetened tea and eat something that's good for you. If you are bored, give yourself a task. If you are tired, figure out how you are going to get rest. Anything you can do to break the cycle of automatically reaching for food...do it. We all have very well established thought processes around food. Your job is to short-circuit that thought process as much as possible. The more you can string along incidents where you short-circuited the thought process, said no, had water or tea instead of eating something, etc., the more successful you will be.

Thanks Theresa'sMom415 and TracieR! It's a huge battle we are undertaking but we are doing it!<br>

Congrats...that's awesome! I'm still totally surprised that I can fit into "regular"clothes now...I don't have to find the pus-size shops and even when I do, a lot of the clothes are too big.

Hi flowergirly! For my 30 day challenge, I'm following the Whole 30 plan. In a nutshell, I'm eliminating all foods that cause negative impact on your body so no sugar, no grains, no legumes, no dairy, no soy, no processed foods and no alcohol. It's basically a very strict paleo diet. It's pretty tough but it's a good way to wean yourself off of sugars and figure out if you have sensitivities to other foods.

Wow awesome job...keep up the great work!

Boshie, take this opportunity to realize that it's you...and not your band, doing the work. YOU choose what you put in your mouth, the band only helps you eat less of it. The sooner you make peace with that, the sooner you can make wiser choices about what to eat. I had to come to that realization after being stuck at the same weight for a year and realizing that if I wanted to lose more weight and get to my goal, I had to change what I was eating. So even though you can eat whatever you want, try to work on wanting to eat what's good for you. Right now, I feel like I could be completely unfilled and still be successful because I've learned so much about how to eat properly. Best of luck to you!

90lbs is an awesome accomplishment...congrats!

Thanks Zil...I appeciate the encouragement!

I'm a 100 lbs down...give or take...scale this morning said 191.8. I'm on a 30 day food challenge and I know I will be down over 100lbs by the end of it so I feel confident in saying it. 100lbs! That's a whole person. There are girls out there who weigh a 100lbs. Cra-zee! I'm happy about it, I am...it's huge progress and I've gotten tons of compliments and I know I look so much better than I used to. But when I face that mirror....I also realize....I'm still fat. Still have so much more weight to lose. It's frustrating and daunting to think about all of the work I have put in and how much I still have to put in now and for the rest of my life. I know it's about the journey and not about the destination but I want the journey to be over already. Coming to the "still fat" realization means facing how delusional I was in the past...looking at myself and thinking "Not that bad". It was that bad! However, I am grateful that I jumped through all of the hoops, made all of the sacrifices and learned what I have learned to get here. And now I just have to believe that I can make it the rest of the way. And if I don't believe it, I have to act as if I do. Next short term goal....25lbs by end of year. With a few cheat days right after this 30 day challenge just to maintain some sanity and remind myself that bad food isn't that good!

Papoose...wow 120lbs...that's amazing! Incredible. You must feel amazing. As for me...not at 100lbs yet....scale said 195 today but I've had some indulgences this week and am hosting a dessert making party at my house on Saturday with a personal pastry chef. And we are serving wine. I hope to keep it somewhat in check, sugar hasn't been making me feel great lately, no matter how much I crave it. But I know I will drink...for sure! But that's life...I have to navigate around those times and sometimes that means abstaining and sometimes it will mean giving in. I do feel like I am getting much more educated on nutrition, I have the fitness thing on a good track, just keep doing what my coach tells me and I'm good but the food...the food! Hardest part of this journey for sure....I guess that' why we decided to go the lap band route. But I am hoping that I put all of the pieces together and get to where I want to be....Even after losing 100lbs, I know I will still feel fat...I am still fat! Less fat for sure and it makes me wonder what I was looking at in the mirror all of those years agoI was in complete denial. I truly look forward to day when I look at that mirror and I am satisfied with everything, if such a thing is even possible. Fingers crossed!

Eating too few calories could be the culprit....I'd try upping calories and being more strict with yourself about not eating things you shouldn't eat. That should do it.

I finally tossed mine...it was nice to make room in my closet.

So I got to the point where my scale at home pretty consistently says I've reached Onderland.....somewhere between 197-199 depending on how I've eaten and how much alcohol I've had. In one of my previous posts, I said I couldn't wait to get to that point and that I would savor it. Did I? No, not really. Mostly because I didn't really believe it at first. I figured it was due to water fluctuations or whatever other excuses I came up for myself. For what it's worth, the medical scale at my gym is still says 203 lbs, with gym clothes on. Maybe I'll believe it when that scale doesn't require me to move the heavy bar to 200...but either way, it doesn't really matter, I realize the number is rather arbitrary...it's more about how I look and feel. Which makes it rather ironic that I'm now really interested in this idea that I can get to 192lbs and that would represent 100lbs lost. I don't know how I will feel then....but I do know that 100lbs lost is a big accomplishment. I hope I let myself enjoy THAT milestone. On the NSV front, something that I don't notice must have changed about my appearance because both my mother and grandmother went on and on about how I'm nearly unrecognizable. I don't see my grandmother that often, the last time was at Christmas so I guess I can buy that I look different than I did then. But my mom? I'd seen her about 3 weeks before. A few other people have made comments so I guess I have no choice but to believe that I somehow look different but I honestly cannot see any tremendous change in the way I looked 2 months ago and the last time I saw my mom. The scale isn't really giving me any answers, I have seriously only lost maybe 2-3 pounds between mom visits. But I had been religiously going to my Crossfit class 2x a week so maybe I traded some fat loss for muscle gain which would account for the scale not really moving but having some sort of change in my appearance. I don't know. I guess I should just accept it but the mental gymnastics this weight loss thing requires is much more complicated than I'd anticipated. My dad has been away since March and is coming back next month and apparently my grandmother told him about my supposed grand transformation. Gee thanks, no pressure there, grandma! Not to say that my dad won't think I look different but I'm nervous that he'll be expecting me to look a certain way and I won't meet that expectation. I'm 5'4.....I still have a good 60lbs to go to get to a normal range and personally, I'd like to lose another 75lbs. I know my weight has been a family conversation for years but usually I'm not privy to them as I had asked everyone to back off a long time ago. Being the center of the conversation again, even on the positive side is not pleasant. So this post is a bit whiny (people are saying I've lost weight and look good....wah!) so I'll end with something a bit more upbeat. I'm planning on visiting my friend in Naples, Italy in November and she's a photographer. I've seen her take amazing pictures of people and make everyone look good and I asked her to shoot me but when I last visited her (3 years ago), she couldn't point the camera at me in anyway without me feeling uncomfortable. But this time I'm at my lowest weight ever and I look forward to getting some good pictures out of her so it's a good incentive to stick to my diet as much as possible and get some amazing pics out of the deal. Dieting for a photo shoot....how far I have come

Thanks for responding! It's good to know that there are other people in my situation and that I'm not the only one!

Ok, so...I'm putting it out there...I am not experienced when it comes to love and romance. I've never had a boyfriend and I've only been properly kissed once...by a super hot guy in a band that I won a Valentine's Day date with. I've always been insecure about my weight...positive that no one would be ever be interested in someone has big as me. Over the years, there have been a few (just a few) guys who have tried to penetrate that brick wall that I've got up but no one really put in much effort, which played into my insecurities. Now, 80lbs down, things are slightly different. I'm not getting hit on all of the time but I have definitely noticed more attention and there have been a couple of guys at work that have gone out of their way to try and say hello, despite my complete indifference. I've mostly just ben confused by the attention...I may weigh less but I still know what's going on under my clothes, and it's not pretty....I'm thinking that no matter how interested they are, that interest will wane fast as soon as things get intimate. So, I'm being exposed to this whole new world of male attention and I'm completely clueless as to how I am supposed to react to it. The other night, I was at a gay bar with friends (some were gay, some were not, including me), and I casually remarked to them that there was a REALLY hot guy who just walked in. I have pretty good gaydar and this guy didn't seem gay but I asked my gay male friend, and he said "sure he is", so that was the end of that. Besides, I often make remarks about guys I find attractive to friends, just to fit in, I want to come off as normal as possible, I'd die if they knew just how inexperienced I am. So I made my comment and then promptly forgot about it. Twenty mintutes later, one of my other (very drunk) friends, taps me on the shoulder and she has this cute guy in tow. She says "I asked him if he was gay and he said he wasn't and I told him you thought he was cute, so here he is". I was floored to say the least. I mean, i'd been drinking but I was NOWHERE near as drunk as I needed to be to handle this situation. But I did start talking to this guy who was hot, Iike seriously unbelievably hot with this amazing body. And the whole time, I am nervous and freaking out. So it turns out that he was visiting for the weekend from Indiana and he was staying with 2 gay friends (who could not be staring more intently during this conversation). I'm responding back but getting more and more freaked out y the moment. Suddenly, there was a lull in the conversation and I sort of took the opportunity to drift back to my friends. Who then proceeded to berate me about why I was talking to them and not this hot guy! I looked over and he was talking to another friend of mine who is tiny, like a size 4. So I thought, of course, that's the natural order of things and now the pressure is off, he's talking to another straight girl in the bar that is much more likely to be his type. But my friends still wouldn't let up on me. At some point, hot guy talks to me again and asks what our plans are after this bar. i tell him I have no idea, that people are just now sorting out where they'd like to go. He tells me he and his friends are going to some club and asks if he'll see me there. I tell him I don't know, I have to see what my friends are thinking. So I turn to them and they completely nix the idea of going to this club, all while pressuring me to "make something happen" with this guy, either go with him and his friends (who I seriously thought did not think I was good enough for their hot friend) or give him my number and tell him to call me. The more they pressure me, the further I shut down, it's as if every insecurity, every bad thought I've had about myself, my size, my looks, everything caves in at once. I'm in full-scale meltdown mode. The hot guy turns to me one more time before they leave and asks if he will see me at this club and I say maybe even though everything inside of me is screaming "hell no!". And then he is gone. My friends immediately start in on me "what was wrong with me...that guy was hot! Why didn't I pursue it more, etc. etc." I was mortified, embarrassed, confused about what they thought I was supposed to do, just...everything. Part of me couldn't believe this guy even talked to me....that he didn't run away screaming when my drunk friend pointed me out as the one that had made the comment. I may have lost some weight but I am NOT skinny, thin, just a little chubby, or any of those things. I am still a big girl, compliments aside. Now i am a big girl with a melting body...nothing is where it should be and while I can deal with it in clothes, I can only dream of a day when I get to goal and can get some plastic surgery to fix this....situation. But the contradiction is that yeah, I am lonely, and yeah, I'd love a boyfriend, or even love to make out with someone super attractive who I never thought would be interested in me, ever. But I have no idea about how to get from point A to point B. I read the message boards and I feel like I am the only person in this predicament...everyone else seems to be married or have an SO or are dating...and don't seem to have these problems. Am I the only fat girl out there who is this insecure? And what the hell was going on with that guy? Was he talking to me because he thought I might be the only straight girl in this bar's radius? Was he just being friendly because he's from indiana and that's how people are outside of the big city? Was he going to lure me to this club only to have a bucket of pig's blood dumped on my head like the movie "Carrie"? How am I supposed to deal with stuff that I should have learned years ago but didn't because I let my weight and appearance stunt my emotional maturity??