shellb

I regret the surgery. I'm four years out and I'm perfectly healthy, but I'd never do it again.
There were complications, a stoma (scar tissue made the new exit too small for even soft foods to pass) and a massive ulcer. But after pushing the doctor, the medical issues where all resolved with in 5 months. Mind you the extra cost was upsetting,I never want to purée a damn thing again, and being scared to eat wasn't fun but I worked past those issues in time. Pick a goal, I've reached it, on paper I'm a successful RNY.
It's the loss of privacy and support that came after the surgey that's my issue. Like I've said to my shrink (yeah that continued added expense really bites) I was fat, generally unhealthy but with no co-morbidity issues, and likely to die at 50 but I WAS HAPPY and had great people in my life.
I haven't changed but the world around me suddenly sees me differently. I'm not all that and a bag of chips mind you (yum, chips I miss you), it's more that I'm easy to talk to, approachable. That personality makes me a successful sales person and good friend, somehow it's a bad thing to be while I'm skinnier and in public. I was always talkative and friendly now suddenly it's perceived as flirting?
People gawk at you in a mean way when you're fat, it doesn't feel any better when they gawk at you thin. The new attention makes old friends and loved ones jealous, I've lost quiet a few in the years since the RNY over how other people behave. The divorce rate post surgey is higher then 50%.
I think its wholly unfair and rotten that no one said told me the bad things about change, that people around you don't always accept it. The support system you have love the idea of a healthy thinner you before your RNY, but come to hate it in real life. Had I known how negatively a positive change for me could affect people around me I would have been more careful along the way. As it is I didn't know jelousy was an issue until they were gone. A heads up that post RNY people who rejected you will want to approach you would have been great too.
I really wish I could come to terms with the surgery, thus the shrink, but as I am, no I wouldn't do it again.
You all have the same hopes, goals and wishes I once did, its a beautiful gift - the hope of RNY, I don't share my story to ruin it. I share it because I do regret my choice and wish with every heartbeat I didn't. I pray to stay healthy but to also be happy again at the same time. If my woeful tail helps one of you keep your love and friends I've done more for you then anyone did for me.
Please, just posting this response is a huge leap of faith in the goodness this community, be kind if you reply. I completely understand Mbrock's reluctance to talk, speaking negatively here is like wearing a Hitler mask, I suspect some my think me evil. But you asked for regrets, I've torn open a scar to share, don't be mad when you hear some.

My Gyn explained that our fat cells also store estrogen, melt the fat and you get a rush of estrogen...tada! It abates in time. It also means you're a little pms'y the first months when your dropping.
I hated the pms feeling so I did go back on the pill, there's a chewable version that's minty!

One lesson at a time :-) Some are fun, wait until you shorten the seatbelt or move the seat closer to the steering wheel!
4 years. Rice, Pasta and bread are common problem foods but in time you learn what your pouch will tolerate and how much. Of course, these carbs aren't the best foods in the first place...

Anjela my heart goes out to you, I can only imagine the frustration. Each bite that passes is one bite in the right direction, take them as victories!
You're in my thoughts.

I regret the surgery. I'm four years out and I'm perfectly healthy, but I'd never do it again.
There were complications, a stoma (scar tissue made the new exit too small for even soft foods to pass) and a massive ulcer. But after pushing the doctor, the medical issues where all resolved with in 5 months. Mind you the extra cost was upsetting,I never want to purée a damn thing again, and being scared to eat wasn't fun but I worked past those issues in time. Pick a goal, I've reached it, on paper I'm a successful RNY.
It's the loss of privacy and support that came after the surgey that's my issue. Like I've said to my shrink (yeah that continued added expense really bites) I was fat, generally unhealthy but with no co-morbidity issues, and likely to die at 50 but I WAS HAPPY and had great people in my life.
I haven't changed but the world around me suddenly sees me differently. I'm not all that and a bag of chips mind you (yum, chips I miss you), it's more that I'm easy to talk to, approachable. That personality makes me a successful sales person and good friend, somehow it's a bad thing to be while I'm skinnier and in public. I was always talkative and friendly now suddenly it's perceived as flirting?
People gawk at you in a mean way when you're fat, it doesn't feel any better when they gawk at you thin. The new attention makes old friends and loved ones jealous, I've lost quiet a few in the years since the RNY over how other people behave. The divorce rate post surgey is higher then 50%.
I think its wholly unfair and rotten that no one said told me the bad things about change, that people around you don't always accept it. The support system you have love the idea of a healthy thinner you before your RNY, but come to hate it in real life. Had I known how negatively a positive change for me could affect people around me I would have been more careful along the way. As it is I didn't know jelousy was an issue until they were gone. A heads up that post RNY people who rejected you will want to approach you would have been great too.
I really wish I could come to terms with the surgery, thus the shrink, but as I am, no I wouldn't do it again.
You all have the same hopes, goals and wishes I once did, its a beautiful gift - the hope of RNY, I don't share my story to ruin it. I share it because I do regret my choice and wish with every heartbeat I didn't. I pray to stay healthy but to also be happy again at the same time. If my woeful tail helps one of you keep your love and friends I've done more for you then anyone did for me.
Please, just posting this response is a huge leap of faith in the goodness this community, be kind if you reply. I completely understand Mbrock's reluctance to talk, speaking negatively here is like wearing a Hitler mask, I suspect some my think me evil. But you asked for regrets, I've torn open a scar to share, don't be mad when you hear some.

I'm four years out, let me pass on the one piece of advice that keeps me sane: stop weighing yourself since it is the worse measure of 'sucess' that we can use.
As you loose the fat you will exercise more and gain muscle. Who on earth thinks that body builders are fat? Ask any buff trainer you know and they will tell you that they do not fall within the weight limits for their age - if they only measure weight and inches these buff ones are fat. Eventually gaining a little weight (muscle) is a good and heathly thing for us (though it does scare you when it happens).
If you want to measure something it should be body fat percentage. There's a special scale and/or hand held device to measure if for you most gyms or doctors offices will have a one. There's a formula too you can Google if your a math-y and want to calculate it yourself. Find the chart of body fat percentages for age and gender by level of fitness (athletes/fit/acceptable/obese) on Google as well.
About 5 months out I too was feeling bad, like I was failing. After talking with my doctor, my trainer, and other RNY folks, I got off the weight scale and switched to body fat %. You know I was just inside the acceptable range and within 3% of fit!? Holy s**** I was HEALTHY!! Now I had a new goal, I wanted FIT. A few more months of eating well and exercise, tada, I got there and never once did I check my weight.
But even the % of fat thing got old, now I use the ultimate in simple to measure my success: Do my 'little' clothes still fit right? As soon as something feels tight I buckle down again and get on track. I crack out the food diary and exercise routine until I'm back in the little sexy black dress I bought to Celebrate reaching the 'fit' level.
I have no idea how much I weigh and haven't for 3 and a 1/2 years, all I know is my clothes still fit! Even when I go for a checkup I tell the nurse before I get on the scale that I don't want to know the number, then I turn my back and get on. I keep my eyes closed for good measure (no pun intended).
Getting off the a scale maybe the kindest thing to do for yourself, there are better measures of success for you then a number. Maybe for you it's playing with the kids, or walking up stairs, or running a marathon... Pick something and step down off that madding machine.

I'm four years out, let me pass on the one piece of advice that keeps me sane: stop weighing yourself since it is the worse measure of 'sucess' that we can use.
As you loose the fat you will exercise more and gain muscle. Who on earth thinks that body builders are fat? Ask any buff trainer you know and they will tell you that they do not fall within the weight limits for their age - if they only measure weight and inches these buff ones are fat. Eventually gaining a little weight (muscle) is a good and heathly thing for us (though it does scare you when it happens).
If you want to measure something it should be body fat percentage. There's a special scale and/or hand held device to measure if for you most gyms or doctors offices will have a one. There's a formula too you can Google if your a math-y and want to calculate it yourself. Find the chart of body fat percentages for age and gender by level of fitness (athletes/fit/acceptable/obese) on Google as well.
About 5 months out I too was feeling bad, like I was failing. After talking with my doctor, my trainer, and other RNY folks, I got off the weight scale and switched to body fat %. You know I was just inside the acceptable range and within 3% of fit!? Holy s**** I was HEALTHY!! Now I had a new goal, I wanted FIT. A few more months of eating well and exercise, tada, I got there and never once did I check my weight.
But even the % of fat thing got old, now I use the ultimate in simple to measure my success: Do my 'little' clothes still fit right? As soon as something feels tight I buckle down again and get on track. I crack out the food diary and exercise routine until I'm back in the little sexy black dress I bought to Celebrate reaching the 'fit' level.
I have no idea how much I weigh and haven't for 3 and a 1/2 years, all I know is my clothes still fit! Even when I go for a checkup I tell the nurse before I get on the scale that I don't want to know the number, then I turn my back and get on. I keep my eyes closed for good measure (no pun intended).
Getting off the a scale maybe the kindest thing to do for yourself, there are better measures of success for you then a number. Maybe for you it's playing with the kids, or walking up stairs, or running a marathon... Pick something and step down off that madding machine.

I'm four years out, let me pass on the one piece of advice that keeps me sane: stop weighing yourself since it is the worse measure of 'sucess' that we can use.
As you loose the fat you will exercise more and gain muscle. Who on earth thinks that body builders are fat? Ask any buff trainer you know and they will tell you that they do not fall within the weight limits for their age - if they only measure weight and inches these buff ones are fat. Eventually gaining a little weight (muscle) is a good and heathly thing for us (though it does scare you when it happens).
If you want to measure something it should be body fat percentage. There's a special scale and/or hand held device to measure if for you most gyms or doctors offices will have a one. There's a formula too you can Google if your a math-y and want to calculate it yourself. Find the chart of body fat percentages for age and gender by level of fitness (athletes/fit/acceptable/obese) on Google as well.
About 5 months out I too was feeling bad, like I was failing. After talking with my doctor, my trainer, and other RNY folks, I got off the weight scale and switched to body fat %. You know I was just inside the acceptable range and within 3% of fit!? Holy s**** I was HEALTHY!! Now I had a new goal, I wanted FIT. A few more months of eating well and exercise, tada, I got there and never once did I check my weight.
But even the % of fat thing got old, now I use the ultimate in simple to measure my success: Do my 'little' clothes still fit right? As soon as something feels tight I buckle down again and get on track. I crack out the food diary and exercise routine until I'm back in the little sexy black dress I bought to Celebrate reaching the 'fit' level.
I have no idea how much I weigh and haven't for 3 and a 1/2 years, all I know is my clothes still fit! Even when I go for a checkup I tell the nurse before I get on the scale that I don't want to know the number, then I turn my back and get on. I keep my eyes closed for good measure (no pun intended).
Getting off the a scale maybe the kindest thing to do for yourself, there are better measures of success for you then a number. Maybe for you it's playing with the kids, or walking up stairs, or running a marathon... Pick something and step down off that madding machine.

I'm four years out, let me pass on the one piece of advice that keeps me sane: stop weighing yourself since it is the worse measure of 'sucess' that we can use.
As you loose the fat you will exercise more and gain muscle. Who on earth thinks that body builders are fat? Ask any buff trainer you know and they will tell you that they do not fall within the weight limits for their age - if they only measure weight and inches these buff ones are fat. Eventually gaining a little weight (muscle) is a good and heathly thing for us (though it does scare you when it happens).
If you want to measure something it should be body fat percentage. There's a special scale and/or hand held device to measure if for you most gyms or doctors offices will have a one. There's a formula too you can Google if your a math-y and want to calculate it yourself. Find the chart of body fat percentages for age and gender by level of fitness (athletes/fit/acceptable/obese) on Google as well.
About 5 months out I too was feeling bad, like I was failing. After talking with my doctor, my trainer, and other RNY folks, I got off the weight scale and switched to body fat %. You know I was just inside the acceptable range and within 3% of fit!? Holy s**** I was HEALTHY!! Now I had a new goal, I wanted FIT. A few more months of eating well and exercise, tada, I got there and never once did I check my weight.
But even the % of fat thing got old, now I use the ultimate in simple to measure my success: Do my 'little' clothes still fit right? As soon as something feels tight I buckle down again and get on track. I crack out the food diary and exercise routine until I'm back in the little sexy black dress I bought to Celebrate reaching the 'fit' level.
I have no idea how much I weigh and haven't for 3 and a 1/2 years, all I know is my clothes still fit! Even when I go for a checkup I tell the nurse before I get on the scale that I don't want to know the number, then I turn my back and get on. I keep my eyes closed for good measure (no pun intended).
Getting off the a scale maybe the kindest thing to do for yourself, there are better measures of success for you then a number. Maybe for you it's playing with the kids, or walking up stairs, or running a marathon... Pick something and step down off that madding machine.