Dawnincanada78

I am Dawn and I am a 34-year-old mother of one. I am a single parent and my father helps out with my daughter. I was an athlete. I hiked up mountains, won bike races, skiied and much more. I gained no weight in my pregnancy until the 7th month. In two months I gained over 80lbs. The day I left the hospital, after delivering my daughter, I had gained another 10 lbs. 8 years passed by and I continued to hike and swim and diet and no weight came off. I was then diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I was told that if I took medications made for diabetes, I would lose the weight. Another 7 years has passed and I have lost nothing, but the odd drop in Water. I am tired of being told that I have a pretty face. It is what people say when they are avoiding discussing the rest of my appearance. I want to feel comfortable in an airline seat. I want to where normal clothes. I want to never have to worry about weight restrictions again because, "I'm obviously not that heavy". I want to be able to fit into the life jacket and the regular sized kayak so that I can go out on the Water with my daughter. I want to feel good about myself and go on dates again.
I have a love hate relationship with the idea of VS. I want to lose the weight and my vanity says that if I lose the weight there will be saggy skin, I will be ugly and no man would want to be with me. I won't be able to afford the skin removal right away so I will need to live with it for a while. I have a regular sized upper body and a very exaggerated derrier and thighs. What if I lose everything from my upper half and I am still out of proportion? PCOS creates something called floating androgens. These block the insulin that I produce and forces my body to turn whatever I eat into fat storage rather than energy. I can get more fat eating a salad without dressing. What if I do the vertical sleeve and my PCOS makes it impossible to lose the weight? I'll have gone through all of that and given up so much for nothing.
I probaly sound a little neurotic. I don't mean to be like that, but until I have better answers on PCOS and the sleeve, I need to hold on. I hope the news is good in regards to PCOS women losing weight with this surgery. I can't weight to start the rest of my life.