Roo101769

I want to put this as delicately as possible..Nothing in life is guaranteed. You could drop dead of a heart attack tomorrow. You could walk out your door three days from now and never walk back in. These things can happen and do, to some people. But the majority of us do not have any such thing happen in our lives. It is the same with surgery. I understand your fear, seriously. I'm a single mother of a 5 year old girl. ( she was 4 at the time of my surgery) I had my fear and "what ifs". I went into surgery as prepared as I could be. I made my will and living will out. I had all my affairs in order, just in case. I have had two pulmonary embolism(s) since 2011 so I was high risk going into surgery. And as you can tell I am here today to write this to you. I had no complications, I had no problems. While everyone has their own road and journey to go through, please do not allow fear of the unknown cloud your reasoning. I can say this, it will change your life. You will feel so much better and be able to be a better mom for your children once the weight is gone. I wish you peace in your decision and hope you choose what works best for you!!! Good luck!

I have decided to call myself out and try to challenge myself. I have become sooooo lax of late and it is time to put my foot down, step it up and be proactive. I am at 10 months post op, and I have been stalled in the same 3-5 lbs since June. I am no where near goal and my surgiversary is rapidly approaching. ( At this point I do not expect to reach goal by then, but I do wish to get the scale moving in the right direction again) So....Next Tuesday I start a Personal Fitness Program at my local YMCA. For 6 weeks ( once a week) I get to meet with a trainer to create a work out program that will help me get to my fitness goals. ( we really do not have to go over diet plans, I just need to get back on track with what I am supposed to do) The trainer will monitor my time spent in the gym and what does / does not work for me and will tweak the work out as the weeks go by, so that I achieve the best fitness program available for me. This has been available at the Y ( free to members) since I joined early last year, I was just not in a head space to take advantage of it. If I am 100% honest with myself and everyone else I will tell you I really hate to exercise. I know I need it, I know I should do it. But I seriously have created a phobia around it. Part of that fear is what I will look like in there sweating and panting trying to get fit. It won't be pretty. Yet I can no longer allow my irrational fears of what I may look like to others in that environment to stop me from what I need to do. I am also a little sad about having to fore fit some of my mommy/ daughter time with my girl. She already spends 9 hours a day with a sitter (when not in school) Monday - Friday. I hate the idea of taking her from the sitter to the daycare at the Y for another hour or two. But... I have not been able to achieve enough physical activity to benefit me without doing this. I thought just being able to be more active with my daughter would be enough exercise, but it really isn't. It helped initially, but now my body needs something more intense, more strenuous. So....I am here to put into writing for all to see that I am doing this to challenge myself. If all of my BP friends and co-sleevers are in the loop then my accountability goes way up. Ultimately I am only accountable to me. But having support, cheerleaders, coaches, drill sergeants or others who may be in the same boat as me ( and want to do something similar) watching me to see what I do then I feel I will be more successful. I hope this next six weeks helps me drop another 22lbs and puts me not only past the 100lbs lost mark, but it will also put me into "one-derland". I really, really want to be there before I hit my 1st surgiversary on 10/21. I would love for you all to push me there, keep me in the game! And I will thank you all for the support!!!

Congrats to begin with..New relationships are so much fun! I am probably not the best person to give advice here as I have not had a real or true or decent relationship in ions!!! But, I will give you the best I've got. I find I am most flirtatious when I am just being real. I try to be me. I don't slip into nagging or talking negative, just keep it light and fun. It is an art form, I truly believe that. You want the guy to stay interested and be pulled in to everything you say. You want to make them feel comfortable yet slightly excited all at the same time. Men like to feel "manly", if you know what I mean. If my brain is switched into " I don't care what they think, I am just going to be who I like to be" then I do my best flirting. If I am over worried about how they perceive me then I fall flat. That's it, the best I got. I will keep checking this thread for nuggets of wisdom.. I admit my game needs some work!! LOL

Absolutely, positively YES!!!! I started MUCH heavier than you, I was 316 lbs. As of today I weigh 220 lbs. While 220 lbs is still obese and I have quite a way to go to my goal weight, there is a HUGE difference in my appearance. ( anyone who loses nearly 100lbs is bound to look different) I have struggled with my body and how it looks a great deal. I am not sure if it is body dysmorphic disorder or what, but I sometimes see myself now as fatter than when I was 316 lbs!. I think I had become so good at fooling myself and avoiding how truly obese I was that I became complacent at best. Now that I have had surgery and lost a lot of weight I am facing the reality of my body. I am not where I wish to be, so I think that makes it harder for me to accept the changes that have happened. It also doesn't help when you have to look at sagging skin, batwings etc. And I have the additinal issue of extreme hair loss ( which everyone does not have the extreme I do) and I hate how I look from it. This is a very taxing emotional journey and it is hard to deal with those feelings sometimes. One thing that has helped is pictures. I look at old pics of me compared to now and then I can see the change. It is like I am finally facing the person I had become instead of avoiding. Learning to accept what I was, and to see where I am now, has helped me let go of some of the"fat" brain.

I am 9+ mos post op. I too consider myself a slow loser. Since my surgery I have lost 63lbs. Since I started on this journey a year ago I have lost 96lbs. I still have 80lbs to lose to hit my goal weight. While it can be incredibly frustrating, just remember every body is different. You did not put on your excess weight the same way as everyone else and you will not lose it the same way. I have a friend who had the surgery two months after me and he has lost 157lbs since December!!! But he is a male and started off at 401lbs. It is so easy to want to compare ourselves and our weight loss. Yet if you sit and think for a minute that is pointless and self defeating. As long as you are working your program, allowing the sleeve to be the tool it is, you will lose the weight your body needs to lose. As I told someone just yesterday, you only fail if you quit. This is a forever situation. You have made a change that will be with you for the rest of your life. Allow yourself and your body some time to do what you need to. You may not lose all the excess weight within a year, and so what? You will be healthier and feel better and weigh less, that I can guarentee. Getting caught up in the numbers will only hurt you mentally and make it a much tougher process. ( Trust me, been there and done that) You are only accountable to you for your weight loss. If you truly wish to succeed you will. It is pretty much that simple. Just never give up on yourself.

Remember before surgery we were always told if we just ate in moderation (the foods we should not) we would lose weight? Well as someone addicted to food moderation was not in my vocabulary, at least not until surgery. Now I can do the moderation thing. I try very hard to eat my Protein and stay lean. If I am craving I try to reason with myself, do the whole internal dialog. But if the craving wins and I am going to eat whatever it is, at least now I do so in moderation. Not being physically able to eat more is a true blessing to me. I am human, I am not perfect. And I have the rest of my life to live with the sleeve. So if the occassional bite or two of a "forbidden" food happens, that is life. Just in moderation! LOL

Linda- It was many years of dealing before I had the chance to really take time to grieve. ( and I only was able to partially) Life does go on and that is what it is. We all have our moments of heartache and grief, that is one of those human traits. Unfortunately to love is to eventually lose... Never gets easier I believe. I wouldn't say others sharing their pain lessons ours, but it helps to empathize with others. Sometimes listening to another's story helps us take focus off our own issues, even for a short while. I share my utmost condolences with everyone who has posted on this thread, and all others who read it and have had loss in their lives. I am far from a saint or perfect. I made plenty of mistakes trying to raise my niece and nephew, and I still make mistakes as a mom. But I am still learning too, I think we all learn until the day we pass. I just hope I do leave them with the traits my mom instilled in me.

In early 2003 my mother started having issues when she ate. Nothing seemed to sit right on her stomach and she seemed to get sick after most meals. She saw her family doctor, who referred her to another. It was discovered at that time she had Hepatitis C, but they believed her illness was caused by a bad gallbladder. I will never forget when she got the Hep C diagnosis. She came to my work to tell me. She was outside in the parking lot, in her van. As walked up she teasingly goes "it's all your fault". ( She received a blood transfusion when I was born, it was a complicated delivery. Unfortunately in 1969 blood was not being tested for Hepatitis and she received bad blood. It remained dormant in her for many years.) Those words came to haunt me months later, and still do to this day. Mom decided to put off having her "gallbladder" taken care of because she was guardian of my sister's three children and wanted to wait until they were on summer break. ( she didn't want to be down from surgery while they were still in school) She was progressively getting worse and was unable to eat much at all. In March, before Mom was really bad, I adopted a dog. She was a pound puppy and she had heartworm from the git go . My mom helped me take care of my Daisy after her treatment, even the time my dog suffered an embolism and had to be rushed to an emergency vet. Time passed and Mom went further downhill. She was hospitalized in late April and mid May. Each time the assumption remained it was her gallbladder. The week after Memorial day I went to her house at lunch to check on her and she was in the bathroom, unable to get off the toilet. (she lived with my grandma and the three kids) I had my oldest nephew help me get her up, cleaned, and back to her recliner in the living room. When it was done I told her she was going back to the hospital. She refused, said they did nothing to help her. ( which was unfortunately true too) I told her I would take her to a different hospital this time and maybe it would be better, but there was no way I was letting her die in that house in front of the kids. I didn't know what was really wrong with her, I said that out of frustration more than anything. She finally relented and we called the medics who transported her to a different hospital than she had previously been in. She was admitted on a Thursday. Friday on my lunch hour I went to see her and she was out of her head. She was barely conscious and talking nonsense. She refused needed tests later that day. I had decided to go to see her on Saturday with her best friend to ensure she got the tests she needed. Well Friday night she suffered repertory failure due to a blood clot and a heart attack. She went into a coma and was put in ICU on life support. I got up early the next day and headed to the hospital. When I arrived I was ushered into an empty ICU room for a phone call with her attending physician. He gave me the most devastating news of my life. Mom had cancer. What other doctors (and hospital) had assumed was a bad gallbladder was actually liver cancer. She was dying. Her liver was failing and her other organs shutting down, which triggered the clot. They believed they could eventually remove her from the life support, but she was terminal and it would only be a matter of time. I knew Mom's feelings about life support and had to make the decision to remove her from it. I gathered the family and let them all know. We decided the following Monday would be the day to remove the support. I decided I didn't want the kids seeing her die, not knowing if she would fight or go hard. I had friend take them out for lunch when the tubes and support were removed. Mom hung on about half an hour after. I told her it was ok to go. I promised the kids would be ok ( I ended up with custody of the two minor children) and that her dad and grandma were waiting for her in Heaven. Not much after I said those words to her she took her last breath and was gone. The ensuing years have been hard. I had to raise two kids that both had emotional issues and I was not prepared for it. ( I had no children at that time) My weight went up. I pretty much gave up. Until my health issues started to take me down and I decided I could NOT do that to my child. ( My daughter was born years after mom died. I named her for mom in her honor. I am so sad she isn't here to enjoy her grand daughter, although my girl often talks about loving "her grammy".) I had the VSG surgery to try to reclaim some of my life I had given up. And I have. Recently my Daisy dog has been having trouble. She has a large mass growing under her front leg and across her chest. It is cancer. Her time with me is growing short. I am not ready to let her go by any means. Even writing these words has me tearing up. She came to me when I needed her the most, even though I didn't know how much then. She has been with me through so much these past 11 years. I love her as much as a family member and will be devastated when it is time to say good bye. Grief is grief, no matter who you grieve.

I will say this from my experience. I had horrible knee pain due to arthritis. I did steroids, artificial cartridge injections and even surgery. I used anti inflammatory meds for years, until I had to be put on blood thinners for the rest of my life. ( due to blood clots) I was no longer able to use the medication that actually helped me and my knees were terrible. I got to the point I could barely stand to walk. I was put on Tramidol for the pain. I took my last pain pill before surgery and have not needed any since. I have lost over 95lbs and that has taken tremendous pressure off my joints, especially my poor knees. They rarely, if ever, bother me now. And if I REALLY need to take something for pain I usually take a little of my daughters' acetaminophen. ( Children's Tylenol) Not saying everyone will have the same results as I did, but I will say it is amazing how much difference there is now for me.

I will say this from my experience. I had horrible knee pain due to arthritis. I did steroids, artificial cartridge injections and even surgery. I used anti inflammatory meds for years, until I had to be put on blood thinners for the rest of my life. ( due to blood clots) I was no longer able to use the medication that actually helped me and my knees were terrible. I got to the point I could barely stand to walk. I was put on Tramidol for the pain. I took my last pain pill before surgery and have not needed any since. I have lost over 95lbs and that has taken tremendous pressure off my joints, especially my poor knees. They rarely, if ever, bother me now. And if I REALLY need to take something for pain I usually take a little of my daughters' acetaminophen. ( Children's Tylenol) Not saying everyone will have the same results as I did, but I will say it is amazing how much difference there is now for me.

I cannot give you long range stats ( of 5+ years) as I am only 8 mos. out myself. I can tell you, however, why I made the decision to have the VSG and not RNY. Originally I considered Lap Band. But when I became serious about researching and starting the process I quickly realized that was not going to be for me. ( as I found the long range results of lap band are not good, and my surgeon's office even said they were phasing it out) It was during my research I came across VSG. I realize it is still considered "new", but all I read was positive. I always knew I did not want RNY because of what goes along with it. I didn't want vitamin absorption issues, or "slimies" or to be intolerant to foods. ( ok- sometimes now I wish I were a little less tolerant of what I can eat!!) I realize each and every person is different, but the overwhelming majority of RNY folks suffer these issues while the overwhelming majority of VSG patients did not. I also was encouraged that VSG had actually been around for a while, but it was actually a part of a different procedure. They realized using VSG as step one in a two step process that many patients loss adequate weight and did not require further surgery. And the mortality rate of VSG is much better. Maybe because it hasn't been around as long, or maybe because it is basically safer. I weighed all of the pros / cons and concluded I preferred VSG. Some days I do wish I had the RNY just to have lost the weight a bit faster. But I know I am much better off with the path I took, in my opinion.

I am neither a vet or a newbie, I'm a in betweener! I was sleeved 10/21/13. I am FAR from a perfect patient. I have made mistakes. I have had pity parties of one and, at times, reached out for support. I am human and I have failings. But the vets here have been awesome. I credit each and every one of them for helping me through the early months. I did my research, I read info up one side and down the other. And not one bit of that helped me nearly as much as the first hand experience of all the sleevers on this site. I truly appreciate them and the time they took with me. And I have 'paid it forward' by doing my part to advise and share my experiences with others. That is the entire purpose of a support site!!! Support each other. Sometimes, it is tough love. Understand what is being said is always for your wellbeing and best interest. It isn't malicious or meant to be hurtful. It is a deeply emotional as well as physical process, sometimes that emotion can be raw. Just remember those who have gone before have earned their stripes, and those that follow have a long road ahead...

I wanted to look at them, but now I know the stats I will forget it. My guidelines given my NUT / hospital said not more than 7g sugar in a serving of anything. So right there is too much. Then you look at the carbs and it is just way too much. It may be a good idea for folks who are "average" and do not need to monitor things as closely as we do. But it would be a slippery slope to get a box and eat. Pass...

I can relate to this like nobody's business!!! Right now, as I sit at my desk, there is a table less than 8 feet from me. On that table are Doritos, Cheetos, Potato chips, pretzels, Chex Mix, Munchos, Pub Mix, peanuts, mixed nuts, Fudge Strip Cookies, Russell Stover candies and various other candies. And the table is not as stocked as it usually is!!! Every other Wednesday is "square donut day". And occasionally vendors will drop in with goodies. To top all that off, our new company president wants to have company cook outs every other week during the summer which started last week. Since it was a pot luck event I brought in greek quinoa salad. It was delish, but needless to say my healthy offerings don't go over that well around here. ( so I have a ton of it to take home) I ate a cheeseburger w/ no bun, some cheese cubes and the quinoa. But later on I was over come with temptation and had some cake. Ugh! It is hard to spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week being confronted at every turn by your worst demon. If self control was not a problem for me I would not have been obese or needed the surgery, right? I can control what I bring into my house, but I have no control at work. ( where I spend the greater part of my week days) It is beyond frustrating because so many people have complained about weight gain and poor health here, yet the snack table lives on!!! Do they really not get it?

I also noticed another NSV..My BMI has dropped into another first digit. Still obese, yes. But instead of a 50+ BMI, or a 40+ BMI I am now in the 30s! Woo hoo!!!

This weekend I went to a preschooler's birthday party. There wasn't a lot for the adults to do but sit around and talk to one another as the kiddos went crazy. After sitting for several hours in a camp chair my back was starting to ache. I switched to another upright chair and it was better, but I just couldn't get comfortable. I started squirming around looking for a comfortable position and suddenly I just crossed my legs. That was it, that simple. I was able to cross my legs. I haven't done that in years...I mean YEARS! ( at least 15+) I suddenly realized what I had done and started giggling to myself. I didn't sit too long with my legs crossed for the simple fact I have vascular issues and it isn't good for that. But it was an unexpectedly happy NSV. Even though I am not quite half way to goal, I have a body that moves so much better now. I love it!

I have found that I can orgasm now from oral stimulation. Ok, like many others said TMI but...on topic. I never was able to " get there" before, although I still enjoyed the effort. Now I can reach climax in minutes! It amazed me and my partner. ( who has been around before the weight loss) Another NSV that I REALLY like!!! LOL

BTW- I have two in the blondish color and a red one for fall / winter. ( same style, just change color) Bought through Paula Young wigs, cost under $40.

Me in all my wigged glory! Yep, I started wearing a wig last November. Already had thinning hair from PCOS and blood thinners, the surgery was the last straw. It was hard to cope with at first, but now I don't have nearly as hard of time of it. I get compliments, people believe it is real and I do look better so that has helped me adjust!

Glad to hear you decided to do the pics. It is hard not being critical of ourselves. But those who love us, who want those pictures, they don't see it. All they see is their loved one.

My hair is a wig actually! But thank you...I had severe hair loss before surgery due to PCOS and having to take blood thinners. The surgery was just the last in a line of things that caused it to fall out. My real hair is almost non existent on top and sides and only slightly better in back. I figured it would happen so I was proactive and bought the wigs before surgery. It was hard to get adjusted to at first, more mentally than physically. But I have been wearing since end of November so I am pretty acclimated to it now.

Being the obese daughter of an obese mother with an obese sister and a heavy set grandma I vowed my own daughter would not be allowed to be obese. Fortunately she does heavily take after her father's genes and has not had weight issues thus far. ( She is only 5 though) If allowed she will eat all day. Her tastes do at least include fresh fruit ( grapes) and yogurt along with cheese. I try not to have junk in the house knowing how she is.( and how I am for that matter) It has been a huge concern for me that she not be allowed to get heavy. I know the difficulty and social stigma of being a "fat kid", I don't want her to go through that. Plus, it is such a life long battle if children become obese. I also have a very active child. She would much rather be outside running around or riding her bike than being inside playing video games or watching tv. I encourage this behavior because I know it is the best for her. I have to thank a higher being that, so far, my daughter seems to have dodged the "fat bullet" that plagued me from a very early age. I hope this trend continues as she grows older. Of course mommy changing her lifestyle and habits and working on herself will only help further influence my girl to stay healthy.

I tried the Pure Protein once. It wasn't bad, but it was too much like a candy bar for my liking. I prefer Quest bars. They are not as sweet, have a wide variety of flavors, offer the same protein (20g) with more fiber and sometimes less calories, and I feel full longer. The consistency of a Quest bar (to me) is a cross between a Tootsie Roll and thick dough. Chewy, and satisfying. I eat one daily for breakfast because I really don't have time for any other option. Everyone will have an opinion and preference, that is mine.

Don't wait.. Get some now. First, he has known this momma for 3yrs. It won't matter to him looking back, just that you were there. Second, it is a great visual record for your weight loss journey. Trust me, pictures are the best way to document the changes you are about to go through. Might as well have them do double duty!

WLS is NOT , I repeat NOT, the easy way out. You are not giving up or giving in, you are simply finding a way that will work. If diets worked there would be no need for WLS. If eating healthy and exercise worked there would be no need for diets or WLS. It may work for the few, but not the masses. Society has conditioned people to feel surgery is a last resort option for those who are too weak or fail at everything else. In a way I suppose it has some merit as you have to list all your failed efforts as a criteria for being accepted to have WLS. But I don't feel it is giving up. If anything you are now more serious about your health and losing weight than you have ever been before!!.. If you have 8 qualifying co-morbidities you certainly would benefit from surgery. And as for "carrying the weight well"... Those who love you don't see fat, they see you. It is hard to remove the "fat suit" in their minds. Trust me, when you do lose the weight they will realize how much better you look. ( and of course you will feel so much better) It is a matter of everyone retraining their thought processes to understand that bariatric surgery is a vital tool for real change. Please do not allow others confusion or lack of informed decision making effect how you feel about what you are doing. This is not an easy thing, but it is soooo worth it!