Roo101769

Today is my one year "surgi-versary". I did not buy Halloween candy last year because I was just a bit out from surgery, but I remember well the years of eating the candy. I did buy two bags of candy for Trick or Treat, but they are remaining closed until Beggar's night. Whatever is left over ( if any) will make it into my work for my co-workers to feast on. I am not at goal yet, still have a way to go. But...I do not ever want to regain the 100+ pounds I have lost. This surgery has changed my life. Maybe not in the dramatic ways I once thought it would, but in so many meaningful ways. I am blessed I was able to find my way to this, it is an amazing thing.

I had to go and renew driver's license today. Good thing because I really didn't look like my old picture at all anymore. LOL So my weight is my ACTUAL weight, not my "lie" weight. I was always too embarrassed to give my true weight for the past three licenses, so I lied. First time I said 250 and stuck to it, even when I ballooned up to 300 lbs and higher. Well not this time, I gave my real weight, 215lbs. Granted, that is still a big number and I really hope in four years I can give a lower real weight. But it feels pretty darn good to not feel such shame and take a pretty good picture!!!! LOL

No, I have not yet obtained "one-derland". No, I am not at goal. But today is still a special and important day to me none the less. Today I hit the 100 lbs lost mark. It is a deeply profound number to me. I have lost 100 lbs. It feels wonderful to say...( although it is tinged with some guilt to admit I had that much to lose to start with) I still have 76 lbs to lose to hit my ideal goal weight. It has taken me just shy of a year post op to make it down to my current weight, so as you can see I am NOT a fast loser. But here is what I am...I am a loser. I am a winner for being that loser. I have lost the equivalent of a small human being. ( not that darn small either!) I am 100 lbs thinner than I was when I started. Today I am celebrating this positive and not focusing on negative. ( That it has taken me almost a year, that I still have 76 lbs more to lose) I have a renewed sense of hope. While goal still seems so far away, a year ago 100lbs seemed like an insurmountable amount to lose. Not everyone who has spent most of their adult life morbidly obese gets to utter the words " I have lost 100lbs". I feel such joy. I feel that reaching my goal weight could be possible. I know my body is healthier today than just one year ago. My aches and pains have lessoned or disappeared. I can do more than I have in years. I fit places I only dreamed of, and can wear sizes I longed to see again. To anyone just starting this process please know it is not easy, but it is absolutely worth it. To anyone struggling with eating right, or not losing as fast as others please know it will happen. Have faith, give it time. This past year seems like a blink of the eye now that it has passed, yet during the year it has been hard. No, it has been more than hard. It is a constant emotional battle. I thought I was ready to go, as prepared as any one person could be for the surgery. But I fooled myself. I was ready for the physical, but certainly not the mental. I am just here to say I would not trade one day of it to get where I am now. I have lost 100 lbs. I have tears welling up, it makes me that emotional. I truly hated what had become of me physically, but now I am slowly learning to love myself again. It is dawning on me I am fairly close to "normal". Ok, I am still heavy. ( obese technically) But I am closer to normal now than I have been in 18+ years. I am still adjusting to being in social settings and not having that overwhelming feeling of shame for being the largest person in the room. I can walk through a mall ( or even recently through an airport) and I am just another person in the crowd. My size is no longer what I am instantly recognized or defined as. Trust me, that too is part of the mental battle. But it is becoming a part I am growing more and more comfortable with. I hated the fat lady, but she was I and I was her. Now I am just Rhonda.... minus 100 lbs!

Finediva... I am going to answer you from my point of view, my experience. But as I stated in my original response post, everybody is different. I did really well my first 2 months post op. I had extreme restriction and stuck to the diet whole heartedly. I lost well, but nearly as quickly as many others. To be honest, I cannot tell you my exact stats in the first few months. I did stall at three weeks, actually mine started a bit earlier and lasted a while. But a few weeks later I started dropping again. No rhyme or reason, just kept with the program and it worked. At about 7- 8 months I stalled again. But this time it was more or less a plateau. From mid June until just this past week I had stayed in the same 5 lb area. (218-222bs) I went on vacation, I worked, I ate too much junk, I cut way back what I was eating. Nothing seemed to break the cycle. In fact I stayed at or just over 220lbs as my average. In August I realized I had rode the sleeve as far as it would go on its own. I can no longer lose the weight just by what I eat, but now I have to exercise. I really, honestly do not like exercise. To me it is a necessary evil. I should have started earlier but I didn't. I have been a member of the YMCA for over a year, but never took advantage of their fitness facility. I decided to bite the bullet and signed up for a 6 wk personal fitness program with a trainer. Three weeks into that they switched a computerized system. It has been good/ bad for me. With a trainer I feel guilty if I don't go frequently enough and would bust my tail to get to the gym. With the computer that guilt is not there, but the system does work me out so much better than I got with the trainer. It is up to me to get to the gym and yes, I can be a slacker there. Anyway...long story short. Since I have started working out I have dropped a couple pounds down and seem to be keeping them off. Biggest difference though is inches. I can tell a HUGE change in my shape. My body may not weigh a lot different, but the shape and size has certainly changed. Clothes that were skin tight on me a few weeks previous now have room. The exercise is making a difference, even if the scale doesn't reflect it like I would like. I am not sure where you are in your process, but do try to work in exercise as much as you can. Push yourself, see what you can accomplish. You may just surprise yourself. Hopefully you find what you need to get things moving again!

First of all...deep breath. You have not failed. Your surgery has not failed. The surgery is a tool to help you lose weight and you have. What you have also done is buy into the whole "I lost a ton of weight quickly after the sleeve" routine. I am not saying it doesn't happen, it certainly does. In fact, you see post after post after post on here saying as much. But what you don't see is how many post that they haven't lost as much or as fast. Is it because they failed? No, not at all. It is because each and every human is different. Our bodies are different and our metabolism is different. We all live different lives and do different things. Therefore it is completely and totally NORMAL that we all lose weight differently after VSG. I plan to write a blog or post about this when I hit my "surgi-versary" on 10/21. I too have been upset at times, but it was at myself. It took me a very long time to come to some kind of terms with the reality of it all. That reality is this...We ALL want quick results, a miracle for losing weight. We may research and know all the facts and numbers, but in our hearts we are praying to be the ones we read about. We ALL want to post big numbers lost in a short amount of time. We ALL want to finally be healthy, but mostly we want to be normal. We want to be accepted, by society and ourselves. We want all of our problems to disappear and our bodies to be what we dream of them being. But reality is it may not happen. Reality is we may only lose a little at a time. Reality is the surgery is documented as only losing up to a percentage of your excess weight, not every pound of that excess. Do some people lose every last excess pound? Yes, they do. But not everyone. I believe those of us who don't post that we have only lost a percentage and not all the weight feel guilt, or failure. I absolutely believed this would be my answer for my weight struggles, yet I still struggle. Does the sleeve do what is should? Yes it does. I am restricted in how much I can eat. Can I eat around it? Yep. Can I eat junk I should not? Absolutely. Has my restriction eased over the year? Without any doubt. Can I do better? You better believe it. Am I human and make mistakes? Do I try to do better? Every day for the rest of my life... I didn't want to "diet", but I know I cannot eat foods others do and lose weight. I really dislike exercise, but I know the sleeve will not lose me the weight alone. I know I have to do my part to put this body back into some semblance of order. I was morbidly obese and spent many years well over 150+ overweight. Rome wasn't built in a day...Today I am almost 100lbs thinner. I am over half way to goal. Do I give up because I am almost a year out and haven't lost all the extra weight yet? No. Never give up. Failure only wins if you give up. A year out I am very happy I did what I did. I am glad I had the surgery. Rather than focusing on the 70+ pounds I need to lose hit goal, I think of the 98lbs I lost to get where I am now! Sure I still want more from this, but getting my head in the right place has helped me accept where I have come so far.

I started this whole process weighing 316lbs, my highest non- pregnant weight. By my surgery date I was down to 283lbs. Today I weigh 218lbs. ( For the record I have lost pretty slow and I have been at a stand still since mid-June, although it is starting to move down a little again!) Anyway, I am wearing between a 16/18 now, just depends on how things are cut. I have people tell me that I look far skinnier than I know I am. I am still clinically obese, yet no one believes that. My goal weight is still 140lbs, although I have no idea if I will get there or not. I chose that weight because that is the highest weight for my height to be in the "normal" range. If I weigh 141lbs I am over weight. I would love to just be normal...But, as it usually goes in my life I may not become "normal". If my body does not want to go that low I will accept it. I do try to eat healthy, although I still struggle at times. I have incorporated exercise into my life now. I am by no means a gym rat, but I am still doing something. I am accomplishing what I set out to do when I had this surgery, to get healthy. The fact I look smaller than I actually weigh is a bonus in my opinion. It helps my internal struggle with my slower weight loss not be as hard to accept if I hear others call me "skinny". LOL

Well the good news for me is, although my "bumps" continue, the soreness post workout is diminishing greatly. The more I work out the less I hurt. The YMCA I go to implemented a new computerized system, called ActiveTrax. It actually gives you your workout routine based on your goals, age, previous workout experience etc. I have noticed as I go further in it is increasing me a bit at a time. It has me working out all my muscle groups, but concentrates on specific ones more each workout. ( it varies from workout to workout) As you progress it very gradually increases the weights you use, and every so often it backs down to an "easier" workout. I am finding I love it. I quit rubbing my "bumps" after I exercise so I am not bruising as much. I am just careful and try not to get on or off a machine anything less than graceful. Let me tell you, some machines that is not so easy to do! LOL

My company does not have sick time and I had already used all my vacation time earlier in the year with a DVT/ PE. I took off a week and two days and returned to work. I was tired, exhausted, the first week or so back. But physically that was my only issue. Mentally I wish I had another few days to have got my head in the game so to speak, but it just wasn't possible. I didn't have to sign up for FMLA because my job was never in jeopardy, I just had to be off without pay. ( Of course they failed to mention that part until the day before I returned to work!) All seems like forever ago, I am almost at my 1st "surgi-vesary".

Funny you wrote this...I too noticed "bumps" under my skin after working out. ( only notice on my arms) They don't bruise unless I mess with them. ( First time I noticed it I kept rubbing over them, then the next day I had several bruises) I have to mention I am on blood thinners ( just switched to Xarelto from Warfarin) due to DVTs in my leg resulting in pulmonary embolism. (twice) I thought these bumps had something to do with my clotting issues/ blood thinners, but now I am a bit more intrigued. They feel small, pea sized or smaller mostly. I have felt them on the outer part of my upper arm as well as the inside of my lower arm...I would be very interested to see if anyone else has had similar experience.

Natalie, Let me start by saying congratulations on losing 100lbs! That is seriously an accomplishment. As I read your story I noticed how similar part of our stories are. I was sleeved just about a year ago. ( 10/21/13) I lost weight pretty steadily until this past June. Since then I have fluctuated in a 5lb zone, really only dropping maybe 3-4lbs total. I did not exercise early out either. I had some things that made it hard to exercise at a higher weight. ( BAD knees, vascular damage in my right leg) I started going to the YMCA gym back in August. It was very hard and painful at first, but with time has become "easier". ( not as much pain from my bad issues, just the usual sore muscles) I am by no means a gym rat but I am doing what I can. Every little bit counts. I have not started losing yet because I struggle with my eating. I have a 5 year old daughter ( almost 6) and now my 24yr old niece living at home. Buying food and preparing things that we will ALL eat is a HUGE challenge. ( not to mention my gym time is after I work all day, so I really have no time to cook ) I could prepare and freeze things on the weekend, but that is time I spend with my daughter. It is hard, no doubt. I eat chicken a lot myself. I also eat a lot of turkey. I will make spaghetti with ground turkey, high Fiber spaghetti noodles and "light" sauce. This is something everyone is happy with ( I flavor mine with lots of garlic and spices) and pretty easy to make. I also like turkey burgers. ( plain, no bun and fat free cheese) I know there are recipes out there I could find, it is just about managing my time to do it all. I echo an above poster who said to pick one thing. I realize you are in a hard space emotionally due to the recent divorce and health issues. Try to remember what it was that motivated you to have the surgery. Hold on to that because it was a time you cared enough to put yourself first. Find little ways to add to your day. I have no doubt you will struggle and possibly not wish to do it. But the feeling of accomplishment after you do will more than make up for the discomfort. Just push, even a little. As I said, every little bit counts. Look for exercises for people who are disabled. These will help your muscles and you will actually burn some calories. And hopefully taking these small steps will help you obtain some of your physical and emotional goals. I wish you well and the best of luck!

Yes the defendant went, and his wife. ( who was his "witness") They must have viewed it as a free vacation considering she had nothing to do with it...But everyone will have to watch our episode to see what happens! LOL

When I had my surgery last year I did a lot of what you describe too. My daughter was 4( almost 5) at the time and I am a single mom. I did the will and living will thing, but I also had to seriously contemplate what would happen to my daughter. (Her father uninvolved) I have had issues with developing DVTs and the clots going into my lungs. (pulmonary embolism) You hear of many relatively healthy, often young people suddenly dropping dead of the exact same thing. Needless to say I was at increased odds of a bad outcome and actually had to have additional clearances and take extra precautions. Thing was, I wasn't really nervous about dying. I was more scared of the future I faced at the weight I was and the pounds I kept adding. I knew this was my last resort, my only chance of turning things around. I went through my surgery and recovery and had really no problems. I am one of those "slow losers". I have definitely struggled at times with how life has changed ( and in some ways has not changed) and all this journey entails. I am nearly a year out yet I am just over half way to goal. When you read about folks who reach goal in a few months it can be discouraging. But I always try to remember this, I wouldn't be half way to anything if I had not done this procedure. I would not have lost nearly 100lbs, I would not have the ability to do things in this body that I had not done forever. And...I might not have had the chance to be the mom I can be now for my girl. Sure, I am still heavy. Heck I am still "clinically obese" . But guess what? I am a 219lb girl and not a 316lb girl. I can better live my life. I feel better. I look better. And I do not regret having the surgery for one minute. It has become just another part of this thing I call my life... So keep your chin up and expect great things. It is natural to be scared, you wouldn't be human if your weren't. Just know you will be fine, have faith in it. A positive attitude can go a very long way when facing an unknown. Your kids are lucky to have you and will be even luckier to get many more years of a healthy you around!

Bonus round NSV..I never could have flown across the country at 316lbs, would have been too uncomfortable. But this flight was awesome..Why? Because for the first time ever I flew without asking for a seat belt extender. Not only did I not need it, I had a few inches of excess belt!!! Wooo Hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had a friend point this out to me as sort of a NSV. It is actually something that never would have happened if I had not had the surgery and lost weight.. I had a small claims case filed in my hometown court. It was a family member who I helped out and was supposed to pay me back, but never did. Long story short I wanted what he owed, so I filed the case. On Sept. 23rd I received a UPS envelope that contained a letter from the tv show "Hot Bench". It is a new daytime court show featuring a three judge panel. They found my case filing and were inviting me to have my case heard on the show. At first I thought I was being punked, no way this was true. I did a Google search and hound out the show was legit. I decided what the heck and replied to them. Less than a week later I was on a flight to Los Angeles!!! We taped the show Tuesday the 30th and I was heading back home Wednesday. It was completely surreal and hard to believe I really went to Hollywood and will be on tv. ( Air date of the show is unknown right now) I never, ever would have considered being on tv at my former weight. Even the size I am now I felt a bit odd, but not enough to keep me from a once in a lifetime opportunity. When do you get an all expense paid trip out to LA and the chance at 15 minutes of fame? ( Literally - 15 minutes. Half hour show split into two 15 minute segments...LOL) It was pretty amazing. And while I cannot tell you the outcome of the case I will encourage you all to watch "Hot Bench" and be looking for me!!!!

I am not sure if age plays any role in how quickly or slowly one recovers from WLS. My story was of slow, baby steps towards feeling "normal". My surgery was on a Monday, released from hospital on Wednesday late afternoon. My recovery in hospital consisted of walking around the floor on occasion and going to the bathroom. My intake was ice chips and a few sips of apple juice the day I was sent home. The first 24 hrs at home were uncomfortable. I was told not to go up and down stairs a lot..And since my bathroom is on the second floor I was sort of "stuck" in my room. By day four and five I was off pain meds, getting ansty from being cooped up, but no where near ready to do much. My five year old daughter came home on day 5, I drove to pick her up. 8 days post op was my post surgical check where I was cleared to return to work. By this time I was able to get around fairly well, but my energy level was the pits. My first day back to work was exhausting. Worked 8-5, then took my daughter to a Halloween "trunk - or - treat" at a local church. I was wiped out by the time we returned home around 7:30pm. My intake was pretty low then too, could not get in enough liquids or Protein. ( just too much restriction...those were the days! LOL) I think it was around week three post op that I realized I felt pretty "normal". In the weeks between I worked, took care of my daughter, had her 5th birthday celebration and lived it day by day. Now, looking back almost 11 months later it seems like a dream almost. Certainly like childbirth...You forget any suffering or pain when you fall in love with your new body. Enjoy the ride and live an awesome new life!!

This is personal opinion and not based on any medical fact but....It does seem a bit early to be trying that. Those bars are also high in Fiber ( also check out Quest bars when you are ready- same Protein #s but less sugar) and that combination may be hard to digest. But then again maybe not. I personally was a couple months out before I tried the bars. Now I am addicted to Quest bars and eat one almost every day for breakfast!!! LOL Good luck on your journey!

I think the alcohol question is like so many other things, there are differences between each practice's guidelines. My doctor / NUT advised not drinking. Not only the whole empty calorie issue, but because of alcohol tolerance changes in most people. Also, there can be issues with cross addiction. Once you have to give up overeating as your vice many will turn to alcohol. But here is my two cents...I have drank. Not a lot, but on occasion I have been drunk. I know what I can and what I cannot tolerate. ( 1/2 of a margarita kicked my BUTT! Could have been the tequila or the sugar, or both) I have found if I stick with rum and diet Coke ( heavily iced to knock down the carbonation) I seem to do ok. And the day after? I usually weigh anywhere from 2-4 lbs lighter! Of course it all regulates when I rehydrate. And when I am drinking I believe I am the world's best dancer. Therefore I have also included a pretty good cardio workout in my night out, which my legs are not to happy about the next day...LOL Alcohol is like any many other life choices. Use your best judgment and you should be ok.

To this day I do try to avoid taking pills, almost a year out. ( ok, ten months) But it is personal choice more than anything else. I never liked taking pills to beg with. I still take liquid Vitamins just because I prefer them. I have taken Protonix (proton pump inhibitor) since day one and never had issue with it being a pill. ( small pill though) On occasion I will take a Tylenol and I am on blood thinners for life. ( which are pills I HAVE to take daily) I have had no issues with taking pills, but as I said I try not to take that many.

I started my own diet pre op last year on 8/1/13. At the start I weighed 316lbs. On my first visit to my surgeon I weighed 308lbs. I did have to go on a 10 day liquid diet pre op but it was a liver shrinking diet only, my surgeon never gave me any set number of pounds I had to lose. On my surgery date I weighed 283. So in just shy of three months ( surgery date of 10/21/13) I lost 33 lbs, including two weeks on liquids. Each surgeon has their own guidelines and rules. I do agree with a poster above who said your surgeon's requirements seem a bit extreme though. That is an aweful lot to lose in a short amount of time, especially since you haven't even had the surgery yet!

The best bar I have found is Quest. The are relatively low in calories, fat, sugars. The carbs are mostly from Fiber. And each bar packs in 20 grams of protein! Unlike many so called Protein bars that are actually over glorified candy bars, Quest bars are the real deal Protein Bar. I have also tried Pure Protein which has numbers similar to Quest, but I simply prefer the taste and texture of Quest better. I purchase mine in store at GNC. They are always buy 3 get one free. ( on occasion buy 2 get one free) That way I can pick and choose flavors rather than buy a whole box of just one flavor. ( I like variety) You can find Quest through many vendors online too.

Hope you are doing better now than earlier. Just a few tidbits. I had to wait in the pre op area for my surgery for FIVE, yes count 'em-5, hours! My surgery time was supposed to be at 10 am, arriving at 8am to get checked in a prepped. Well at the last minute my surgeon's partner had an emergency case that took my booked OR room and I got pushed back. The hardest part? Smelling coffee at the nurse's station and not being allowed any! LOL After surgery I had a very, very hard time waking up. It was early evening before I finally came to and after 10pm before I was coherent. I too was extremely sick to my stomach. In fact, my first memory when I regained consciousness was throwing up lots of blood. (Sorry- TMI) It was gross and totally freaked my visitors out, but that is all there was in the tummy to come up after major surgery - duh. Turns out the pain meds made me sick. They had to give me an anti nausea chaser with each dose of the pain meds. I still felt queasy but it helped keep it in check. I could only manage ice chips until the day I was released. ( Surgery on Monday, released late on Wednesday) I was given some apple juice on Wednesday and only managed about 1/4 of a small plastic cup of it. My initial swelling/ restriction was EXTREME. But as with all good things that ended and now I long for those days again. ( Made the weight loss a lot easier) I tell you all of this to let you know...this too shall pass. ( speaking of passing....the first BM takes a while) I wish you a speedy recovery, lots of success in your weight loss and hugs and kisses from your baby!!! Enjoy the new you!

It appears you may have bought into the notion that the weight just falls off like magic. Nope. Let me tell you please work on your perceptions of your weight loss NOW before you get further out and it does a number on you! Trust me, it is as much mental as it is physical. 21 lbs in two weeks is absolutely awesome. Have others lost more? Possibly...But are they you? NO. Each and every one of us do this differently. My friend had surgery two months after me and has lost 167lbs. I haven't hit 100lbs lost yet. But he is a male who started heavier and is tall. ( all things that come into play) I was on the heavier side for the sleeve. ( starting at 316lbs.) I have PCOS which may contribute to slower loss. ( that is an unknown- has not been proven) I have not done every last thing I could do to amplify my weight loss, and that is on me. Do I regret having surgery? Not for one damn minute. I would not be where I am, have the opportunity to reach a healthy "normal" weight, had I not done this. It may take me longer but oh well, I didn't get to 316lbs in a year either. This is for life, my life. Congratulations on what you have achieved so far and best of luck for continued success!!!

I think I need to clarify this a little bit. I don't "care" per se what strangers think. It isn't like I am now at a size where people openly remark about it. ( Yes, at my former size it was more likely to happen) It is more about my perception of what others think. I want to feel confident that I can walk down a street, into any room and not be judged for my size. That is my current goal. I want to be " average" as I said before. A lot of plus sized people say that they hide in their fat, that they wish to be invisible. But the reality is they stick out more than anyone when you are so large, you cannot NOT be seen! I have the desire to blend in, not to stick out in a crowd. I am much closer to that now than I was before and I am working on it. Not to say I won't get attention now and then, especially if I wish for the attention. It is always good to be noticed for looking good. I guess I just want to know that I am the healthiest and look the best that I can. My health has already improved, now I am working on vanity. I have had poor self esteem for a long while and I am trying to turn the boat around. Basically....I want to be HOT!!!! LMAO

Last week I posted I was starting a Personal Fitness Program at my YMCA. I have seen the trainer twice now and I like it. Now, I do have to say I do not believe the trainer is quite as knowledgeable as I thought he would be. Some of his advice is not quite sound. I do understand how to exercise, I just don't do it! LOL Anyway, I am listening and learning the machines, but I kind of tweak the work out as I see. I have increased my cardio and I am now up 8 weight machines. I am actually looking forward to going back to work out. I have made a deal of sorts with myself. I refuse to beat myself up if life happens and I can't make it to the gym. But...if all I have planned is to go home and sit on my butt watching tv, then I can go work out. And so far my daughter has actually enjoyed the daycare at the Y so that helps. I am excited to see what I can do to further transform my body. I was talking to a coworker today. She said I look great, and to those who know me I have changed a lot. But to a stranger I am still overweight and out of shape. That is my new goal, to look good to a stranger on the street. Someone who doesn't know where I was, how heavy I started. Right now I am not grossly obese or anything but I am still heavy. ( clinical definition obese) I just want to be average. I am close to a year out and now I am taking control again to continue my journey...