Roo101769

I think I was around three months out when I got into a deep funk. I could not put my finger on it, I just felt "off". I suffered through it for a while, probably a good two months or more, before I started to understand what I was going through. ( and I have to say I only think I understand it) At around three months the shine was off the penny in some ways. The reality of "this is my life" was setting in. All the magic things I had imagined didn't all happen. I was still in my life, living the same life. My only real change was I wasn't eating as much as I lived and now I weigh less. I know it is completely irrational to believe that somehow everything would magically change by just having the surgery, but there was some deep part of my brain that held on to that nugget of impossibility. I still had bills to pay, and my income didn't get any bigger. I still have a 5yr old to raise, and I didn't become "super mom". I still have relationship issues ( as in NONE), and my newly shaped body didn't change that. All the things I wish would change have remained the same, except I have lost a lot of weight. It was kind of hard to deal with for a while. I had to redefine myself and my expectations. Along the way I did have a meltdown here and there. I snapped on a coworker, but it was something I held in for years. Was it because I had no other recourse? Or because I am finally able to stand up for myself to the things I can no longer take? No easy answer. But it helped me understand I am changing, slowly. I can't turn to food to soothe, although at times the old "fat brain" REALLY wants to! What I can turn to is me. Hey, I did this. I made a drastic decision to change something and by GOD I am doing it. I am not perfect, there are a lot of areas in my life I need change. But at least one little area is and that finally helped pull me from the funk. That and maybe the fact winter finally ended! LOL I now try hard to concentrate on what I can do, not what I can't or haven't. Small things, like planning a day full of errands and getting them all done. I didn't wear out half way through because I am so fat I can barely move. No.. I can set goals and see them through. At least some times, which is a start. Try not to expect too much of yourself, just not yet. It is a HUGE emotional road ahead, not just physical. You will feel things you never expected and will have to figure out ways to deal with it. I am really glad you have support and I am sure you will find that light at the end of your tunnel!

My highest weight was 316lbs. That is the weight I was when I made the decision to have surgery. During the process to get approved for surgery I decided to start eating a bariatric diet ( not so much quantity but the types of foods) I went into my surgery on 10/21 weighing 283lbs. Today I weigh 229lbs. I have had stalls. I will be the FIRST to admit I am not a "perfect" patient. I do not work out enough and I do eat things (on occasion) I should not. My weight is inching down though. I weigh less now than I have in over 18+ years. I am not going to give up either. I realize the further out you get from surgery the harder it is to drop the weight, but that won't stop me. I cannot say for a fact I will get to my "goal" weight. What I can say for a fact it that every pound I drop is a pound closer to healthy for me. That is the true goal, the rest is just numbers. Do not be sidetracked by the scale. Yes, it is good to be mindful of it and to see where you stand. But a scale is just one way to track your success. Get your measurments and keep track of them. Each time you go a size smaller you know you are losing, even if the numbers on the scale aren't where you want them. You had the surgery, now expect the process. This is part of the process. It is forever, so give it some time.

Hi all.. I thought I would take a few minutes to write about another "life event" going on that does not directly involve my sleeve. ( Maybe indirectly, in some way or another. ) I have met a new guy. I feel kind of weird and girlish just saying that...LOL I guess I should start at the beginning of sorts...I was married briefly from 1995-1999. In that time we were actually only together less than two years. We were separated a few years before we actually got divorced. So I am kind of like those celebrities with short term marriages. Anyway, prior to being married I never had a big problem having "a boyfriend". I was young, I was still in fairly ok shape and it wasn't hard to get asked out. After marriage it was an entirely different world. I gained a significant amount of weight during the time I was with my ex husband. It was a perfect storm in a way. First, I have PCOS. Until my mid twenties I was not effected by it very much. Then around 25yrs old the symptoms really went gangbusters. Second, I was married. I did let myself go and eat because hey, I already bagged the guy. Who cares now if I eat? Besides, he likes to eat too. And the last thing was depression. My marriage wasn't what I had hoped for, obvious by the short deration. Comfort food helped me cope. Along with these things I had gone from jobs where I was on my feet to a desk job, further compounding the weight issue. So I was thirty, divorced, obese and alone. I tried to meet guys. Ok, after about ten years I tried. For the better part of the next decade I closed myself off. It was easier NOT to date and be hurt. A lot of things happened in my life that I had to deal with and there was just no time to worry about adding a man to the mix. After many years I realized I was lonely. I had friends, sure. But it is not the same at all. So I started trying to put myself out there more. Long story short, didn't work out. Many things happened but none were good. I don't regret too much, it was part of life. ( and I did end up with the most amazing and beautiful daughter from it all) I just never give up. I keep trying. I keep looking.....And now I can report I have some hope. It is too early to say this is "the one". But a few key factors are certainly weighing in his favor. First, he went on a date with me AND my daughter! We had a great time and my girl really likes him. ( another guy I once dated she did not care for and made it known) Second, he likes how I look. He appreciates what I have gone through to get here, is all for supporting me as I continue, and finds me sexy now! And the best thing? He wants a relationship! Not a "hit it and quit it" "NSW FWB" or a booty call. This guy is looking to (one day) settle down and get married again. I don't know him well enough to jump to that conclusion right now, but it is such a relief and nice feeling to know I might actually have a Valentine this year on Valentine's day!!!

If you weigh daily then expect fluctuation. I do. I realize the "norm" is to weigh weekly. I weigh daily to stay accountable. If I see things going in the wrong direction ( and yes they can) then I adjust my brain and my eating. It is sometimes easy to forget when reaching for something to put in your mouth what you are doing. Seeing those numbers on the scale hold me in reality and keep me there. But that is for me. The key is to NOT get freaked out and quit. I said in another post, this is a marathon for me and not a sprint. I am 6 1/2 mos out from surgery and no, I am not at goal. In fact I am not quite at the halfway mark. But you know what I am? I am down 86lbs. I no longer weigh 316 lbs! I feel like a different person. ( although I still fight "fat brain") As Dori said in Finding Nemo "Just keep swimming". Just keep on track and you WILL lose weight. Your body is changing, sometimes it is obvious and sometimes it is subtle. Keep a visual diary if you can. Take pics regularly. That is one of the BEST ways to see the change. Numbers can be scewed, but a picture is right in your face..Good luck!

From MY personal start of process ( Aug. 1 2013) I have lost a total of 86lbs. Since my surgery date I have lost 53lbs. Yes, I realize my weight loss is slower than some others. Everyone is different and will lose at different rates. The main thing is I have lost 86 POUNDS! And I am continuing to lose, just very slowly. For me it is a marathon and not a sprint, I can live with that. I am happy to be down to where I am and look forward to wherever I go. I am more active and able to do things I haven't been able to do in years!!! And I am one size away from shopping in a women's dept. and not in plus size!!! So yay and yay. Try hard not to compare yourself and your weight loss to anyone else, it can be a big mental trap. (One I had to fight myself out of)

Ok, I am being dramatic. But dang are they making it hard for a girl to be healthy around here!!! Let me start by saying I work for a manufacturing company in their accounting office. The way things are set up our office is an open space with three of us working, and it houses a small fridge, microwave, coffee station etc. Basically it is the accounting office / break room for the back offices in the building. Anyway there is a large table in the middle of the room that is called our "snack table". A certain coworker brings in food weekly / daily and puts on this table. Bags of chips, Cookies, candy, nuts etc. Basically he has a wife who does not allow this stuff at home, so he indulges all his snack food whims at work. He is a very sharing man so he brings in tons of the stuff for everyone to have some. If that isn't bad enough, a few other people will bring stuff from time to time. ( sales reps, vendors etc) The snack guy also brings in donuts every other Wednesday from his local bakery. Today is donut day. Most the time I can ignore with no problem. Today I have to admit I was having a hard time because I am PMSing and feel hungry! Yet I have managed to avoid for the first hour of the day. But just a bit ago another sales rep strolls in carrying a big box of Dunkin Donuts! So yes, in addition to all the bags of chips, candy, nuts and cookies we have TWO big boxes of donuts. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are maybe 11 people total that are back in the offices, so two dozen donuts is enough for everyone to have two! It is taking every ounce of effort I have to stay out of the donuts. Oh, and did I mention my desk is literally four feet max from the junk food table!!! It is no wonder why my weight went up so far in the years I have worked here. ( it totally correlates) This is where things are the hardest, temptation is terrible. I will drink my fluids and eat some Protein Snacks I have. But really? They aren't doing anyone any favors with all of this crap!!!

Ok, had to chuckle. I have remarked about the snack table issue. But no one wants to change it. There really is no place "out of sight" to put them. And if I mention not bringing as much in I get the MAJOR evil eye!! (although coincidentally most of my coworkers complain that they too have put on too much weight) And the final little chuckle to your comment? The BECK diet solution...The guy who brings the Snacks last name is BECK!!! This is NOT a good solution! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... I will say this...Last week a sales rep for one of or vendors brought in a bag of apples. He usually brings donuts, but the last time he did I told him about my surgery. So at least someone does listen and care... One of my besties who was sleeved in December always says that quote!

Well between writing here and then getting my half cup coffee ( I put half coffee and then Water down. Not quite decaf but it does help cut back the caffeine.) the bad urge passed. When I feel physical hunger along with head hunger it is the worst. But once the physical part subsided I could control the head part. I already ate my Protein bar this a.m. ( I have a Quest bar for Breakfast almost every day.) I usually eat them at home so I don't get too hungry in the morning, but I may start having them at work when I first get here. That way I have something to eat, my stomach is full, and I feel more satisfied. Crazy little head games we have to play. LOL Thanks for the support!!!

Every now and then I indulge in All Bran. I only eat a serving size, which is 1/4 cup. ( see- if we only pay attention to serving size! LOL) I mostly do it to help "get things moving" if I am a little slow. But it also helps with the cold Cereal cravings I will have now and then. Yes it is carbs, but sometimes it is the great good. Just don't make it a habit, bad ones are what got us in trouble to start with!

I have these at home. I have only tried once, but will try more recipes . They do smell a bit out of the bag, but you rinse them well an that gets rid of the odor. They have no flavor, so be sure to pair them with a very robust sauce. Oh, and the texture is a bit different. But once you get past these items you are getting to eat noodles again!!! ( without guilt) Yep. Tofu Shirataki noodles. They have almost no calories. They are made from a dried japanese yam which is not a starch but a vegetable and dried tofu. Interesting I may need to try it one day. http://www.amazon.com/Tofu-Shirataki-Noodles-Fettuccine-Shape/dp/B000AQFQC6

At 13 days out that does seem like a bit too much to consume. I was only on purees or maybe scrambled egg at that point. I don't think your stomach has healed nearly enough to start digesting even semi solid foods. But....if you did not feel physically sick you may have gotten away with it. ( this time) Don't tempt fate and do it again though would be my advice. You are seriously risking your health, not just if you lose weight or not. That all being said the up side of it is you seem to have at least some mental control going on. Do not let anyone try to fool you or tell you otherwise...This is a HUGE mental battle, not just a physical adjustment. The fact that you gave away the truffles, brought a shake, had guilt...All good signs you are at least trying to think before you act. I had a hotel birthday party for my daughter for her 5th birthday because I was only 10 days post op myself. I took my shake, some applesauce, refried Beans and the like with me. It gave me variety and something to eat without worrying about having to chose something. You aren't ready for regular diet choices, so don't put yourself in a situation you have to make any. Make sure you have some variety of items you CAN consume now readily available. This will save you a WORLD of guilt and issues down the road, trust me. It only gets harder as you progress to solid foods. Just because we "can" eat something certainly does not mean we ever should. food is not our enemy. Going in with that approach will set you up for failure. But you have to realize food is no longer your comfort, your friend, your lover, your reason for being. Food is to live. Yes you can enjoy food again, but make every effort to enjoy food that is appropriate for your health and the stage of the planyou are on. One more thing....Has your family been supporting you? Given the champagne and truffels and the rich dinner I get a feeling that, just perhaps, they all need schooled in the reality of VSG and life post op. I don't want to assume anything, but it appears there wasn't much thought put into where you are right now by whoever set the whole thing up. Your life does go on, you will always be you. But they need to realize adjustments have to be made so you can be the BEST you that you can be!!! Anyway, it is in your past now. You cannot change what has happened. All you can do is focus on what is ahead of you and move forward. Hopefully your surgeon or NUT can help you work towards healthier choices for your future.

I had this issue early out. I lost 33lbs pre surgery and for about two months after I got REALLY stinky. (IMO) Seemed like no matter what I did I could smell that "smell". Then it stopped. Not sure what changed or why, I am not a doctor. I was just happy the day I realized I didn't smell the funk anymore...So my guess is "this too shall pass..."

I have actually made some of your recipes! I am just not much of a "cook"...Now baking is a whole other ballgame! ( which I no longer play...lol)

I have Anthem BC and I know for a fact mine won't. It is clearly stated in the policy that, even though they do pay for WLS, under no circumstances will they cover any type of cosmetic or reconstructive surgery. Even if your doctor finds it medically necessary they will not cover it. I absolutely do not have the funds to afford it myself, therefore I will be stuck with whatever I end up with. I decided in the beginning that losing the weight would be worth the hassle of the skin.

Unfortunately I am only 6 mos out and I have not had large periods of time not interested in food. Ok, to be fair to myself I was about 2+ months out before I really started caring about food. But once my tummy was pretty healed and the swelling went down all I thought about was food. Not eating junk, just thinking about what I could eat, how much, different variety etc. I think my biggest problem, and when I do find myself going through the "nothing sounds good" times, is the fact I get bored with my selections. I have read recipes, bought cook books etc. But the fact is I don't cook because it is just me and my 5 year old at home. ( and she does not eat what I do for the most part) So when I do fix a new recipe I end up with a lot of leftovers. I will eat that for days or end up throwing out food. ( and I am not well off enough to throw away money) Since I am not a kitchen wiz, I do not try to figure out how to make smaller portions.. ( I can follow directions, but don't ask me to figure out changing quantities) Anyway, sometimes it leads me to the "I am not interested" feeling. But the flip side is it has lead me to the " I will eat bad things" feeling. They are there. Quick, easy and wrong. It is no wonder that there is so much obesity in this country. We work and play hard and do not want to spend vast amounts of time tied to a kitchen. ( most of us anyway) We grab quick, ready to go foods and they are not healthy for us in large part. If I were to magically win a lottery some day my first "purchase" would be a private chef. I could totally eat a healthy diet if someone else dealt with making it for me all the time!!! LOL I hope your current phase does pass soon. While I do understand, it is not good for your health not to eat enough. ( Wow, crazy idea for someone who was once overweight- right?) Take care of yourself.

I want to start by saying I did skim through a lot of the responses posted. Obviously this is something that a lot of folks have an opinion about and want to express their views. I have a couple points on the topic to make. First I think that, even for obese folks, that there is a level of fat shaming we all do. It is a way of rationalizing our own weight failures. "Well I'm not as big as.." I also think some people feel as if making statements about how horrible their own weight is, it somehow minimizes their guilt. It is like "ok, there it is. I owned it and put it out in the world as shame so I can now feel better about it". I do remember how mortified I was when I first went over 200lbs. Then there was 250lbs. Each pound was more embarrassing to me in one way, and in another each pound higher was easier to accept. I guess I got complacent at some point and just figured I was destined to be fat. Even as I breached the 300lbs mark it didn't sink in as much. It wasn't until I was faced with serious vascular issues and the real threat of someday losing a leg did I finally stop and really see what I was doing. I never enjoyed being that big, no. But I had somehow learned to live and deal with it. I learned to not allow it to be the center of my thoughts or otherwise I would be totally unable to function with depression. ( conversely it WAS the center of my world and everything in my life did revolve around my weight in one way or another) I have seen posts where people start at weights I am currently at and they thought it was the end of the world . They would write about how fat they were, how unable to function their bodies had become. I do read these and shake my head because my current 230lbs is a blessing, not a curse. I guess it is because these folks never got to 316lbs they do not realize how bad it can get. Sort of a" there for the grace of GOD" type thing. They reached their personal limits at a weight I allowed myself to surpass. That all being said I have no guilt that I was 316lbs when I decided to change. The reason? I decided to change!! If I stayed at 316lbs, or went even higher then I should feel guilt. Not because I reached that weight per se, but because I was doing nothing about it. I don't think anyone is less of a success if they started higher than me, or if they started lower than me. I do, on the other hand, have issues when I read posts from people who are around 180lbs and are thinking about the surgery. ( That one did make me shake my head hard!) I suppose what I am trying to drive home is no one on this board should feel shame or judgment for where they started. Sh*t happens, we all got obese in our own way and own time. The main thing to focus of is the fact we have all progressed past our personal low point, ( or highest weight) and we are working on becoming the best person we can be. I love you RJ for all your insight, wisdom and answers. I hope you never change because inside, where it counts most, you are an awesome individual. Who the heck cares what size package all that awesomeness is wrapped in?

So lately I have been having some phantom pains in my right side. They fall about mid abdomen on me. ( or just below my rib cage) They are not life altering pains. In fact they are more of a mild discomfort to the occasional stab here and there. I have also felt a little bloated. I have read these could be symptoms of a gallbladder acting up, which has been something I have worried about since surgery. ( I REALLY DO NOT want to have another surgery due to a bad gallbladder, which can happen with WLS) But on the flip side I also know I have always had weird "female" issues. The pains could be from a cyst on an ovary ( I have PCOS) and the bloating just part of my cycle. I have also been sort of irregular lately, not taking my Probiotics every day as I should...bad Rhonda! I guess I am just being paranoid. I spent so much of last year dealing with medical stuff from a DVT and then the surgery, that I really just wanted a nice healthy year this year. The very LAST thing I need or want it to have another issue that could lead to me having to take off work, be in the hospital and possibly having surgery. That simply will NOT fit into my life right now!!! LOL But I am wondering if anyone that has had gallbladder issues could tell me how it progressed for them? I would appreciate a little info and insight on the matter....( and I will monitor my situation and seek medical help if it gets worse)

I called my GP and he is issuing an order for a liver and gallbladder ultrasound. He said I can then follow up with him or my surgeon, whoever I chose.

Well...my last trip to GNC they discontinued the buy 3 one free. Boo!!!!! But I bought 14 bars and paid $30. I know the going rate for a case of 12 is $25, plus if you buy online you pay shipping. So it is still basically the same price, plus I can mix and match flavors, which I prefer. Funny the muscle guy was pimping the shakes, they must be a new product or something. The cute (YOUNG) muscle guys at my GNC all love the Quest bars and stand behind them!!! LOL

Well I have to be honest, I have the sleeve of steel. The only one thing I have found that seems to bother it at all is plain H2O ..I can sip Water ok, but only small amounts. Add anything to it, like Crystal Lite, and no more problems- weird! lol But no, I had no problem at all eating them. They didn't bother me in the least.

Look up Miracle Noodles. They do have a bit of an odor out of the bag ( you have to rinse ) and they are a bit different consistency than regular Pasta. But they are basically a "free" food; no calories, fat, gluten; carbs etc. ( They are made from a plant starch. Come from Asia, been used there for years) They are a carrier for sauce. They have no real flavor, you get the flavor from whatever sauce you use. I made a batch of "spaghetti" with ground turkey and a low sugar tomato sauce. It was better after they set over night and absorbed some of the flavor. The texture is a little weird, but if you can get used to it then it is a great alternative.

I have been having a LOT of lower back pain lately too. Could this be related? ( didn't really think about it until mentioned above) I thought I just slept wrong or had done too much lately for the back pain.

I am the opposite. My numbers had been steadily dropping so they upped my dosage slightly. I may have had more Vitamin K in what I ate, but I stay really vigilant monitoring it. I can only use Caltrate calium chews as they are the only ones I have found that does not add vitamin K, and I also monitor the bariatric Vitamins I take. Not sure what my issue is, guess I am just weird...LOL

I am 6 mos. out and I have adjusted. Early on I was chilled all the time. I couldn't seem to stay warm. I would wear layers and turn up the heat. But slowly it regulated. For the most part I am ok. I don't think I get as warm as I used to, but I am no longer chilled all the time either. I think it is a natural and normal part of the process, lasting different lengths of time for different people.

RJ I was tickled pink when I ordered a pair of 18/20 capris from Walmart and they FIT! Seriously, it won't be too long until I am out of plus size which totally BLOWS MY MIND! Of course the down side is how fast I need new clothes and my budget isn't cooperating....LOL