I'm so sorry you're going through all of this stress.
I know this might sound weird, but have you tried rubbing a smooth stone or silver dollar? When I get overwhelmed I do that... it obviously doesn't fix the problem, but it gives me something repetitive and easy to focus on and it kind of calms my body down.
I hope things get better for you soon, and I hope the pending surgery and everything else goes well!
I think you look like you're at a great weight for your height, even if you wanted to lose a couple of more pounds that would be fine. When I look at that picture I don't see 'too heavy' or 'too thin' but 'pretty damn perfect'. As for your age, I would have guessed 35-40ish. You in no way look like a little old man. That's ridiculous.