Thesaurophile

Holy **** once I went back to work life got busy.
 
Anyway, I'm one of the lucky ones, I guess; over one week of pre-op diet, first week and second week post-op I lost 30 pounds. Which is amazing and I am still a little flabbergasted. Now, sadly, all that loss has caught up to me in the form of THE STALL.
 
I've been between 235-236 for several days now (like maybe 5), but keeping patient. I did, after all, just lose 30 lbs in three weeks. I've been telling myself I might lose inches instead and reading the forums like crazy for morale, but every time I try on that stubborn pair of size 18 jeans they are still a little too tight. :[
 
HOWEVER:
 
Work is taking us to Six Flags as a reward for being awesome last year, and I currently have nothing to wear to a theme park, so on my lunch break I dropped in to Lane Bryant to see what I could see in the clearance section. And lo, shining brilliantly on the rack, a pair of size 18 capri... jegging... things... hung in brightest red. And I did take them from the rack, and did carry them into the changing stall on the off chance they might fit. And there in the changing stall I discovered two things.
 
One! My current work pants are a size 22 where I had unfortunately convinced myself they were a size twenty, which makes it retroactively depressing that they were pretty tight for a while.
 
TWO! The capri-jegging-things FIT ME BEAUTIFULLY.
 
aaand since I got them on the clearance rack and found $10 cash in my purse, only $10 came out of my checking account. Stall be damned, I won today :3

I'm gonna admit right now that the first two days of my preop liquid diet were AWFUL. I cheated (hummus) and nearly yelled at my boyfriend for cooking his dinner in front of me. I resented the metallic ketone taste in the back of my throat. Finally on the morning of the third day I told myself to suck it up, resigned myself to just enjoying the SMELL of regular food, and plodded through another five protein shakes spaced three hours apart.
 
Then that evening I bought a scale, since my surgery is on Tuesday and I figured I'd want one and not really want to go GET one afterwards.
 
And I stepped on it.
 
And I have somehow lost EIGHT POUNDS since Dr. Kim's office last weighed me.
 
Day four of liquid diet, these goddamn shakes almost taste GOOD.

Holy **** once I went back to work life got busy.
 
Anyway, I'm one of the lucky ones, I guess; over one week of pre-op diet, first week and second week post-op I lost 30 pounds. Which is amazing and I am still a little flabbergasted. Now, sadly, all that loss has caught up to me in the form of THE STALL.
 
I've been between 235-236 for several days now (like maybe 5), but keeping patient. I did, after all, just lose 30 lbs in three weeks. I've been telling myself I might lose inches instead and reading the forums like crazy for morale, but every time I try on that stubborn pair of size 18 jeans they are still a little too tight. :[
 
HOWEVER:
 
Work is taking us to Six Flags as a reward for being awesome last year, and I currently have nothing to wear to a theme park, so on my lunch break I dropped in to Lane Bryant to see what I could see in the clearance section. And lo, shining brilliantly on the rack, a pair of size 18 capri... jegging... things... hung in brightest red. And I did take them from the rack, and did carry them into the changing stall on the off chance they might fit. And there in the changing stall I discovered two things.
 
One! My current work pants are a size 22 where I had unfortunately convinced myself they were a size twenty, which makes it retroactively depressing that they were pretty tight for a while.
 
TWO! The capri-jegging-things FIT ME BEAUTIFULLY.
 
aaand since I got them on the clearance rack and found $10 cash in my purse, only $10 came out of my checking account. Stall be damned, I won today :3

Holy **** once I went back to work life got busy.
 
Anyway, I'm one of the lucky ones, I guess; over one week of pre-op diet, first week and second week post-op I lost 30 pounds. Which is amazing and I am still a little flabbergasted. Now, sadly, all that loss has caught up to me in the form of THE STALL.
 
I've been between 235-236 for several days now (like maybe 5), but keeping patient. I did, after all, just lose 30 lbs in three weeks. I've been telling myself I might lose inches instead and reading the forums like crazy for morale, but every time I try on that stubborn pair of size 18 jeans they are still a little too tight. :[
 
HOWEVER:
 
Work is taking us to Six Flags as a reward for being awesome last year, and I currently have nothing to wear to a theme park, so on my lunch break I dropped in to Lane Bryant to see what I could see in the clearance section. And lo, shining brilliantly on the rack, a pair of size 18 capri... jegging... things... hung in brightest red. And I did take them from the rack, and did carry them into the changing stall on the off chance they might fit. And there in the changing stall I discovered two things.
 
One! My current work pants are a size 22 where I had unfortunately convinced myself they were a size twenty, which makes it retroactively depressing that they were pretty tight for a while.
 
TWO! The capri-jegging-things FIT ME BEAUTIFULLY.
 
aaand since I got them on the clearance rack and found $10 cash in my purse, only $10 came out of my checking account. Stall be damned, I won today :3

Holy **** once I went back to work life got busy.
 
Anyway, I'm one of the lucky ones, I guess; over one week of pre-op diet, first week and second week post-op I lost 30 pounds. Which is amazing and I am still a little flabbergasted. Now, sadly, all that loss has caught up to me in the form of THE STALL.
 
I've been between 235-236 for several days now (like maybe 5), but keeping patient. I did, after all, just lose 30 lbs in three weeks. I've been telling myself I might lose inches instead and reading the forums like crazy for morale, but every time I try on that stubborn pair of size 18 jeans they are still a little too tight. :[
 
HOWEVER:
 
Work is taking us to Six Flags as a reward for being awesome last year, and I currently have nothing to wear to a theme park, so on my lunch break I dropped in to Lane Bryant to see what I could see in the clearance section. And lo, shining brilliantly on the rack, a pair of size 18 capri... jegging... things... hung in brightest red. And I did take them from the rack, and did carry them into the changing stall on the off chance they might fit. And there in the changing stall I discovered two things.
 
One! My current work pants are a size 22 where I had unfortunately convinced myself they were a size twenty, which makes it retroactively depressing that they were pretty tight for a while.
 
TWO! The capri-jegging-things FIT ME BEAUTIFULLY.
 
aaand since I got them on the clearance rack and found $10 cash in my purse, only $10 came out of my checking account. Stall be damned, I won today :3

Holy **** once I went back to work life got busy.
 
Anyway, I'm one of the lucky ones, I guess; over one week of pre-op diet, first week and second week post-op I lost 30 pounds. Which is amazing and I am still a little flabbergasted. Now, sadly, all that loss has caught up to me in the form of THE STALL.
 
I've been between 235-236 for several days now (like maybe 5), but keeping patient. I did, after all, just lose 30 lbs in three weeks. I've been telling myself I might lose inches instead and reading the forums like crazy for morale, but every time I try on that stubborn pair of size 18 jeans they are still a little too tight. :[
 
HOWEVER:
 
Work is taking us to Six Flags as a reward for being awesome last year, and I currently have nothing to wear to a theme park, so on my lunch break I dropped in to Lane Bryant to see what I could see in the clearance section. And lo, shining brilliantly on the rack, a pair of size 18 capri... jegging... things... hung in brightest red. And I did take them from the rack, and did carry them into the changing stall on the off chance they might fit. And there in the changing stall I discovered two things.
 
One! My current work pants are a size 22 where I had unfortunately convinced myself they were a size twenty, which makes it retroactively depressing that they were pretty tight for a while.
 
TWO! The capri-jegging-things FIT ME BEAUTIFULLY.
 
aaand since I got them on the clearance rack and found $10 cash in my purse, only $10 came out of my checking account. Stall be damned, I won today :3

Holy **** once I went back to work life got busy.
 
Anyway, I'm one of the lucky ones, I guess; over one week of pre-op diet, first week and second week post-op I lost 30 pounds. Which is amazing and I am still a little flabbergasted. Now, sadly, all that loss has caught up to me in the form of THE STALL.
 
I've been between 235-236 for several days now (like maybe 5), but keeping patient. I did, after all, just lose 30 lbs in three weeks. I've been telling myself I might lose inches instead and reading the forums like crazy for morale, but every time I try on that stubborn pair of size 18 jeans they are still a little too tight. :[
 
HOWEVER:
 
Work is taking us to Six Flags as a reward for being awesome last year, and I currently have nothing to wear to a theme park, so on my lunch break I dropped in to Lane Bryant to see what I could see in the clearance section. And lo, shining brilliantly on the rack, a pair of size 18 capri... jegging... things... hung in brightest red. And I did take them from the rack, and did carry them into the changing stall on the off chance they might fit. And there in the changing stall I discovered two things.
 
One! My current work pants are a size 22 where I had unfortunately convinced myself they were a size twenty, which makes it retroactively depressing that they were pretty tight for a while.
 
TWO! The capri-jegging-things FIT ME BEAUTIFULLY.
 
aaand since I got them on the clearance rack and found $10 cash in my purse, only $10 came out of my checking account. Stall be damned, I won today :3

So this week has been pretty hard, but yesterday I realized some of my pain is already gone, and that's amazing! For a couple of months I had been getting bad, all-day-all-night pain in both hips/thighs, almost like a constant muscle soreness except minus the exercise that usually causes that sort of thing. When I was making my list of NSVs for the first time, I put that one up top. It was so bad some days I felt hobbled, and I'm 26. I didn't know what it was, but I wanted it gone.
 
Yesterday I stood up to walk around and realized that I had just stood up with no. Pain. Not only that, but I had BEEN standing up with no pain all day, and my relatively pain-free state has thus far continued. HELL YES. As hard as this first week is, I have this little victory to hang on to.
 
My other little victories/goals, scale and non-scale, in the rough order in which I hope to achieve them:
Get below 250. I've been above 250 for a year.
Start a series of every-morning pictures when I go back to work.
Fit into my favorite pants again (the size 18s that had started to hurt when I wore them)
Get below 230. I've been over 230 for a year and a half.
Find an exercise I like!
Get below 220. I've been over 220 for three years.
Buy NEW favorite pants ;]
Review my series of every-day pictures: six-month mark
Have my ankles and knees not ache every 8 hour standing shift I do at work.
Get below 210, which I haven't been under since I started college in 2005.
Donate most of my too-big clothes. (keeping some for comparison!)
Feel -- not even see, just feel! -- my hip bones again. I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE GUYS.
Get below 200. I've been over 200 lbs since 17.
Fit into a pair of size 14 pants.
Get below 190. My lowest weight ever in my adult life was 187 at 16 years old, and I looked good. It's a shame I didn't know how good I looked, actually, but that's what you get when you're a slightly body-dysmorphic teenager. Sure, I was still pudgy, but I was awesome pudgy and I should have flaunted.
CELEBRATE THAT ****.
Get below 180 -- uncharted territory!
GOAL: 175-170

So this week has been pretty hard, but yesterday I realized some of my pain is already gone, and that's amazing! For a couple of months I had been getting bad, all-day-all-night pain in both hips/thighs, almost like a constant muscle soreness except minus the exercise that usually causes that sort of thing. When I was making my list of NSVs for the first time, I put that one up top. It was so bad some days I felt hobbled, and I'm 26. I didn't know what it was, but I wanted it gone.
 
Yesterday I stood up to walk around and realized that I had just stood up with no. Pain. Not only that, but I had BEEN standing up with no pain all day, and my relatively pain-free state has thus far continued. HELL YES. As hard as this first week is, I have this little victory to hang on to.
 
My other little victories/goals, scale and non-scale, in the rough order in which I hope to achieve them:
Get below 250. I've been above 250 for a year.
Start a series of every-morning pictures when I go back to work.
Fit into my favorite pants again (the size 18s that had started to hurt when I wore them)
Get below 230. I've been over 230 for a year and a half.
Find an exercise I like!
Get below 220. I've been over 220 for three years.
Buy NEW favorite pants ;]
Review my series of every-day pictures: six-month mark
Have my ankles and knees not ache every 8 hour standing shift I do at work.
Get below 210, which I haven't been under since I started college in 2005.
Donate most of my too-big clothes. (keeping some for comparison!)
Feel -- not even see, just feel! -- my hip bones again. I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE GUYS.
Get below 200. I've been over 200 lbs since 17.
Fit into a pair of size 14 pants.
Get below 190. My lowest weight ever in my adult life was 187 at 16 years old, and I looked good. It's a shame I didn't know how good I looked, actually, but that's what you get when you're a slightly body-dysmorphic teenager. Sure, I was still pudgy, but I was awesome pudgy and I should have flaunted.
CELEBRATE THAT ****.
Get below 180 -- uncharted territory!
GOAL: 175-170

So this week has been pretty hard, but yesterday I realized some of my pain is already gone, and that's amazing! For a couple of months I had been getting bad, all-day-all-night pain in both hips/thighs, almost like a constant muscle soreness except minus the exercise that usually causes that sort of thing. When I was making my list of NSVs for the first time, I put that one up top. It was so bad some days I felt hobbled, and I'm 26. I didn't know what it was, but I wanted it gone.
 
Yesterday I stood up to walk around and realized that I had just stood up with no. Pain. Not only that, but I had BEEN standing up with no pain all day, and my relatively pain-free state has thus far continued. HELL YES. As hard as this first week is, I have this little victory to hang on to.
 
My other little victories/goals, scale and non-scale, in the rough order in which I hope to achieve them:
Get below 250. I've been above 250 for a year.
Start a series of every-morning pictures when I go back to work.
Fit into my favorite pants again (the size 18s that had started to hurt when I wore them)
Get below 230. I've been over 230 for a year and a half.
Find an exercise I like!
Get below 220. I've been over 220 for three years.
Buy NEW favorite pants ;]
Review my series of every-day pictures: six-month mark
Have my ankles and knees not ache every 8 hour standing shift I do at work.
Get below 210, which I haven't been under since I started college in 2005.
Donate most of my too-big clothes. (keeping some for comparison!)
Feel -- not even see, just feel! -- my hip bones again. I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE GUYS.
Get below 200. I've been over 200 lbs since 17.
Fit into a pair of size 14 pants.
Get below 190. My lowest weight ever in my adult life was 187 at 16 years old, and I looked good. It's a shame I didn't know how good I looked, actually, but that's what you get when you're a slightly body-dysmorphic teenager. Sure, I was still pudgy, but I was awesome pudgy and I should have flaunted.
CELEBRATE THAT ****.
Get below 180 -- uncharted territory!
GOAL: 175-170

So this week has been pretty hard, but yesterday I realized some of my pain is already gone, and that's amazing! For a couple of months I had been getting bad, all-day-all-night pain in both hips/thighs, almost like a constant muscle soreness except minus the exercise that usually causes that sort of thing. When I was making my list of NSVs for the first time, I put that one up top. It was so bad some days I felt hobbled, and I'm 26. I didn't know what it was, but I wanted it gone.
 
Yesterday I stood up to walk around and realized that I had just stood up with no. Pain. Not only that, but I had BEEN standing up with no pain all day, and my relatively pain-free state has thus far continued. HELL YES. As hard as this first week is, I have this little victory to hang on to.
 
My other little victories/goals, scale and non-scale, in the rough order in which I hope to achieve them:
Get below 250. I've been above 250 for a year.
Start a series of every-morning pictures when I go back to work.
Fit into my favorite pants again (the size 18s that had started to hurt when I wore them)
Get below 230. I've been over 230 for a year and a half.
Find an exercise I like!
Get below 220. I've been over 220 for three years.
Buy NEW favorite pants ;]
Review my series of every-day pictures: six-month mark
Have my ankles and knees not ache every 8 hour standing shift I do at work.
Get below 210, which I haven't been under since I started college in 2005.
Donate most of my too-big clothes. (keeping some for comparison!)
Feel -- not even see, just feel! -- my hip bones again. I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE GUYS.
Get below 200. I've been over 200 lbs since 17.
Fit into a pair of size 14 pants.
Get below 190. My lowest weight ever in my adult life was 187 at 16 years old, and I looked good. It's a shame I didn't know how good I looked, actually, but that's what you get when you're a slightly body-dysmorphic teenager. Sure, I was still pudgy, but I was awesome pudgy and I should have flaunted.
CELEBRATE THAT ****.
Get below 180 -- uncharted territory!
GOAL: 175-170

So this week has been pretty hard, but yesterday I realized some of my pain is already gone, and that's amazing! For a couple of months I had been getting bad, all-day-all-night pain in both hips/thighs, almost like a constant muscle soreness except minus the exercise that usually causes that sort of thing. When I was making my list of NSVs for the first time, I put that one up top. It was so bad some days I felt hobbled, and I'm 26. I didn't know what it was, but I wanted it gone.
 
Yesterday I stood up to walk around and realized that I had just stood up with no. Pain. Not only that, but I had BEEN standing up with no pain all day, and my relatively pain-free state has thus far continued. HELL YES. As hard as this first week is, I have this little victory to hang on to.
 
My other little victories/goals, scale and non-scale, in the rough order in which I hope to achieve them:
Get below 250. I've been above 250 for a year.
Start a series of every-morning pictures when I go back to work.
Fit into my favorite pants again (the size 18s that had started to hurt when I wore them)
Get below 230. I've been over 230 for a year and a half.
Find an exercise I like!
Get below 220. I've been over 220 for three years.
Buy NEW favorite pants ;]
Review my series of every-day pictures: six-month mark
Have my ankles and knees not ache every 8 hour standing shift I do at work.
Get below 210, which I haven't been under since I started college in 2005.
Donate most of my too-big clothes. (keeping some for comparison!)
Feel -- not even see, just feel! -- my hip bones again. I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE GUYS.
Get below 200. I've been over 200 lbs since 17.
Fit into a pair of size 14 pants.
Get below 190. My lowest weight ever in my adult life was 187 at 16 years old, and I looked good. It's a shame I didn't know how good I looked, actually, but that's what you get when you're a slightly body-dysmorphic teenager. Sure, I was still pudgy, but I was awesome pudgy and I should have flaunted.
CELEBRATE THAT ****.
Get below 180 -- uncharted territory!
GOAL: 175-170

I'm gonna admit right now that the first two days of my preop liquid diet were AWFUL. I cheated (hummus) and nearly yelled at my boyfriend for cooking his dinner in front of me. I resented the metallic ketone taste in the back of my throat. Finally on the morning of the third day I told myself to suck it up, resigned myself to just enjoying the SMELL of regular food, and plodded through another five protein shakes spaced three hours apart.
 
Then that evening I bought a scale, since my surgery is on Tuesday and I figured I'd want one and not really want to go GET one afterwards.
 
And I stepped on it.
 
And I have somehow lost EIGHT POUNDS since Dr. Kim's office last weighed me.
 
Day four of liquid diet, these goddamn shakes almost taste GOOD.

I was going to type "I woke up this morning thinking..."
 
But, no. I woke up this morning to a giant thunderstorm after two hours of sleep, angry at the world. I drove an hour to work in the driving rain and had to stop and scramble for doctor-approved protein shakes at the grocery store so I could eat ("eat") at work. When I got to work fifty loud teenagers were babbling in the breakfast hall, three people needed transportation, and so on. So it was only after I finally got to run back, sit in my office and turn on some ridiculous cheesy "meditation" piano music that I cleared my head and I thought:
 
Today is the last day I have my whole, I-got-born-with-it stomach.
 
And that's cool by me. Goodbye, 75% of my stomach. We've had some okay times, particularly downing way more alcohol than we ever should have in the 18-21 years and getting stuffed full of all kinds of delicious things that were probably mostly butter and sugar painted to look like something edible. I'd say it's been a good run, but actually, now wearing clothes bums me out and my leg joints hurt a lot.
 
So I think it's time we part ways. Goodbye, regular stomach; I'm trading you in for a bionic model. Helloooo, staple line~

I was going to type "I woke up this morning thinking..."
 
But, no. I woke up this morning to a giant thunderstorm after two hours of sleep, angry at the world. I drove an hour to work in the driving rain and had to stop and scramble for doctor-approved protein shakes at the grocery store so I could eat ("eat") at work. When I got to work fifty loud teenagers were babbling in the breakfast hall, three people needed transportation, and so on. So it was only after I finally got to run back, sit in my office and turn on some ridiculous cheesy "meditation" piano music that I cleared my head and I thought:
 
Today is the last day I have my whole, I-got-born-with-it stomach.
 
And that's cool by me. Goodbye, 75% of my stomach. We've had some okay times, particularly downing way more alcohol than we ever should have in the 18-21 years and getting stuffed full of all kinds of delicious things that were probably mostly butter and sugar painted to look like something edible. I'd say it's been a good run, but actually, now wearing clothes bums me out and my leg joints hurt a lot.
 
So I think it's time we part ways. Goodbye, regular stomach; I'm trading you in for a bionic model. Helloooo, staple line~