Butterflyhigh

Two months ago I replied to the original post with "Yeah yeah, but you should not judge and be nicer to those posters". I was wrong. I apologize. Two months later and I have read literally hundreds of posts that start with: "OMG, I haven't lost any weight in three days!!" "I ate two bites of a white bread sandwich, am I stretching my sleeve!?!" "What am I doing wrong, I've only lost 30 lbs in 30 days!?" I agree that everything written in the original post is Accurate and True, so help me God.

Calm down. You've lost nearly 20 lbs each month since surgery. I think that by everyone's standards that is successful. Try to keep things in perspective.

Head Hunger is psychological not physiological. There is no pill that can change something that is not organic in nature. Anti-depressants affect brain chemicals which make a person depressed. Phentermine affects brain chemicals which tell our bodies we're hungry. Head Hunger is not caused by chemicals that your brain is producing. It's "all in your head" so to speak.

Yes it will. The only safe sex post sleeve is in the ear. But that's only until you're completely healed up, start experiencing less restriction, and can tolerate all normal foods.

By the way, you look FABULOUS! You should be very proud of your accomplishments!

I am one of those people that are sometimes oblivious to changes in others. For instance, I have a very dear friend whom I see a couple of times per month. She had changed her hair from brunette to dark blond and I 'kinda' noticed something was different but it was in a back-of-my-mind sort of way and I didn't say anything about it. As soon as she pointed it out I was like"Oh Yeah! That's what's different!" One time she went from straight hair to a drastically new cut...bangs, shorter, different color. The same thing. I just 'kinda' noticed she looked different. My Mom lost around 40 pounds after being in FL for three months. All I noticed was she looked more tan. I drive the same route to the grocery store. Have for two years. At some point I noticed that the center of town (a veeery small town) looked different. My daughter pointed out that they had demolished two building side by side weeks before. At other times I will notice details of things that some may miss. If someone adjusted their landscaping I'll spot it in a minute. A new aspect of interior design/decorating I will notice immediately. I pick up on subtle cues and behaviors of individuals which hint to their psychology. You should cut her some slack. She is probably preoccupied with her wedding. Maybe her other friend who lost 10lbs pointed the weight loss out to her. Honestly, and I mean no disrespect, but it is classic passive-aggressive behavior when you deliberately do NOT point out something to someone and then become offended when that person doesn't notice. Just be honest and say to her, "I am so excited to tell you that I've lost XX pounds!". I'm sure she will be happy and excited for you.

My doctor is requiring me to be on a three day pre-op liquid diet. He said it's because I'm a lower BMI case and my liver is not overly large. I think I will give myself a bit more time though. I want to kinda ease in to the pre-op realities.

Amen. I have read so so so SO many posts on here of people totally freaking out over stalls. So. Many. Posts. I don't own a scale. I don't care about the numbers. I want to fit in a size 8 jeans and look good. That is what my goal is. I know that with this surgery and proper eating habits I WILL fit into an 8. Will it be four months, six months, nine? Who knows. But it will happen. Rather than obsessing over the scale I am going to enjoy the journey to those size 8 jeans.

Amazing! I love to hear about those who reinvent themselves as runners. It is so inspiring. And I really liked your comment "thankful for my 2nd chance to love this life right". You look fabulous. So happy for you.

Daily juicing does amazing things for your body. Your hair will be super shiny and thick, your skin will have a noticeable glow, nails will be strong and grow quicker, the poop...amazing, energy levels will skyrocket, a mental clarity will become apparent. It is so cool! Do a 30 day challenge. One juice (preferably veggie) per day for 30 days. I swear to you, you be want to shout from the roof tops the positive effects you experience.

This topic has been debated many times before. Some people want to shout their WLS success from the rooftops while some tell only a few family members. It is a personal decision to undergo this surgery and in my opinion it is nobody's business but yours. I am choosing to not tell anyone in my family. The only people who know I am planning WLS is my ex-husband and teenage daughter, and that's only because there is no way I can hide it from them. I will keep this a secret because I do not want to be unfairly judged, criticized, or gossiped about...all of which would happen in my family.

I am hoping to compile a list of tips, hints, and suggestions for those of us who will be recovering in the weeks following surgery without any outside help or support. I am not telling anyone about this surgery except for my ex-husband and eldest daughter (13). I know I am not the only one who has or will be doing this alone, so let's work on making a "game plan" for how to provide self-care in the month following surgery. Here is what I've though of so far... Pre-op; stock the cabinets with 1st stage, 2nd, stage, 3rd stage foods, Vitamins, and Protein powder. Pre-op; prepare two locations in the home for resting; one in the bedroom and one in the living room. Keep Water bottles in each resting location, in the car, and in the purse to ensure drinking water is always available. What else will be helpful??

There have been many posts by people saying, "I'm not telling anybody...except my mom, sister, and two best friends" or something similar. Those people are choosing to tell very few close people and no one else. But they still have some personal support. I really don't have any in-person support. I am telling my 13 year old daughter and my ex-husband only out of necessity, not for support reasons. That's it. No other family or friends will know about my surgery. I guess my question is...how important is the in-person support post-op? Barring any complications I think I've got a good plan for taking care of my physical needs, but I am worried about my emotional needs. I know the first month is full of self-doubt, struggles, regrets, etc. I am hoping for the best and preparing myself for the worst. But I literally will have NO ONE in my real life to talk to about this. Is this something that you can just go into hibernation mode for the first month, avoid all socializing, and focus on healing without having a strong support structure at home? I will continue to read and post things here on this site, but will that be enough? I know you can't tell me how I will handle it all because there are so many variables, but how did YOU handle the first month? Was it really THAT hard emotionally? P.S. I will eventually tell my closest family members, but not until I have reached and maintained my goal weight. I have very good reasons for not including them in this process.

I keep reading about people whose sleeves do not tolerate certain things well such as beef, pork, and bread. I am wondering...for those of you who have lost your tolerance to foods that you previously loved, have you also lost your cravings for them? I would image that if a certain favorite food consistently makes you sick and uncomfortable you would start to view that food in a negative light and loose your cravings for it. I am hoping that is how it works. Just curious.

Thanks. I am trying to put together as much of a support system as I can. I will be heavily leaning on my surgeons office and wls forms for technical support such as dietary questions, pain issues, healing issues, etc. I'm just not sure how "emotional" the whole first month is going to be.

Glad to hear that most of you are not ready to kill someone over a steak or sandwich. Nelle, maybe you need a little more time before those cravings go away? Maybe once the junky carbs are completely out of your system, (which I have read is about two weeks) and you have one or two bad experiences with rice you will loose your cravings as well. Personally, I am worried about steak. I love love love a good steak. I buy a 1/4 beef from my farmer neighbor that is unlike anything you've ever eaten from the grocery store. If my sleeve just flat out won't tolerate steak anymore and I still crave it, I would be miserable. If the sleeve rejects the steak and I develop a mental aversion to it...well then I won't be mourning the loss of a good steak. So I guess my first hope is to tolerate steak well, and my second would be if I don't tolerate it then at least I won't crave it.

I have come to terms with all of the short-term post-op issues. Now I am envisioning life one, two, three years after surgery. Would you vets answer the following questions? I apologize for what seems to be rapid fire questions in bullet point form. It's how my left side dominate brain organizes information. <smiles> Can you eat a whole apple? Can you eat rice and Pasta without discomfort? Do you ever have the occasional glass of wine with dinner? How have your close relationships been effected by your weight loss? Are you able to quickly drink a glass of Water on a hot day or after a workout? If you were an emotional eater, what behavior have you replaced the emotional eating with? Do you have any sadness associated with the inablilty to eat a large portion of something incredibly delicious? Thanks!

Thank You for these great responses! All of your words and experiences are very helpful for me in solidifying the picture I have in my head of life with a sleeve. I think at this point I am afraid of feeling sad/frustrated about the small portion size of certain foods. For instance, I keep thinking about this chicken cordon bleu that I make at home. It is so delicious that sometimes I will skip all the other side dishes and just eat three of those. I don't know why my mid is stuck on that. I think I just get so much enjoyment out of cooking and eating really great food that it is a bit depressing to think I may only be able to eat half of one roll. I know that sacrifices have to be made, and I'm willing to do it. I just don't want to find myself on the other end of this surgery depressed and regretting my decision because I can't eat a whole cordon bleu roll. I am trying to keep in my mind that saying "Nothing tastes as good as Skinny feels". I really hope this is true. Thanks again for the insight!

The Off Topic topic that wouldn't die.... Annnnyway, the munchies. The bad bad dangerous munchies. I smoke a whole lot less than I used to but I will have an occasional doobie-break after surgery. I guess my plan will be to have healthy delicious food I can look forward to munching on within reach of the remote and my sofa. Ya know, that way I won't have to move much since I'll be all roasty toasty stoned and all.

Looking good, lady! Keep up the awesome progress. I'm loving the pretty dresses.

Do you have a juicer? Juicing vegetables and mixing your protein powder in will certainly help with your energy levels. Drinking a few carrots, tomatoes, celery stalks, etc. will load you up with tons of healthy vitamins and because it's in juice form it will be easy on your new sleeve. Of course clear it with your doc first as some advise against raw vegetables, but my nut said that in juice form there is nothing better for your body's healing than homemade fresh veggie juice.

I agree with a previous poster who mentioned therapy. You are probably feeling really out-of-control, just the way you did when binging before the sleeve. It is like a total downward spiral in the emotional sense. There are reasons hidden very deep inside of you which causes you to seek out food even when you feel ashamed and disgusted with yourself for doing it. You said your sleeping a lot which sounds like depression. You've learned the sleeve is just a tool, it's not a cure. The "cure" comes from understanding yourself and why you are doing this and changing your inner self. So therapy and probably an anti-depressant will help halt the spiral and then give you the ability to change the direction you are heading. Good Luck!

So sorry. That really sucks to hear your partner say that. I'm going to play devil's advocate for a minute... Is he in general a decent guy? It is not abnormal for the spouse of someone who is going through a big change like you're going through to become insecure and scared of the changes. He may be doubting himself, his place in your life, the shifting of the relationship, your love for him, etc. You're new found confidence, while so totally awesome and wonderful, is probably changing the dynamics of the relationship. If he is in general a decent guy...loves you, respects you, is not cruel, is supportive....then he may need more understanding and support from you for his burgeoning insecurities. Relationships end so quickly these days without both people giving all they can to save them. If he is in general an ass...then maybe your confidence will give you the strength to end it with him. Good luck!

Wow. I wish there were a way to track, by percentage, everyone's professions. Seems to be a lot of medical professionals here. I own several hundred acres of agricultural land that I lease to local farmers. I get bi-annual income checks, which creates a real interesting way of budgeting my personal finances. My "real" job is being a single mother to two girls and playing around on my own small-scale hobby farm.

I juice more in the summer when the veggies are in season. Basically all you need is a juicer which you can pick up at any Wal-Mart or Target type stores, and the vegetables/fruits. The more expensive juicers extract more Fluid from the vegetables and leave the pulp much dryer but the cheaper models work totally fine. You would be surprised at what veggi combo's are delicious. Adding spinach to anything makes it sweet. Some people like a tomato base, some like more of a carrot base. My staple vegetables are carrots, tomatoes, celery, spinach, kale, and beets (in small amounts). My staple fruits are bananas, apples, strawberries, and cantaloupe. Vegetable juice packs much more of a nutrient punch than the fruits, so focus on those more. But mix & match. There is no right or wrong. I plan on making juice the cornerstone of my diet after surgery. Add a scoop of Protein powder in and it will be extra beneficial. You get all your nutrients and fluids in together! I am *pretty* sure that I will not experience hair loss because of my experience with the Raw Juice diet before. I had very little protein, tons of vegetable juice, and my hair was stronger and thicker than ever.