cerenatee

Thanks for showing up and speaking out everybody. May 2013 is right around the corner and this stuff is real now. Ya'll, after getting some love from my FB group, I'm in a much better place. I got so wrapped up in my fears that I forget I have done my research. I have selected a great surgeon and a great hospital. I am following all my doctor's pre-surgery orders and I'm going to follow all his post-surgery orders as well. My surgeon is very careful and he's very cautious. He places the staples and then he goes back over them with sutures. He leaves the drain in for 4 days after the surgery in case of excessive bleeding. He checks for leaks after the surgery and the next day. He keeps you in the hospital for 2 days and then in a hotel, which he stays at himself so he's close, for another 2 days. On my return, I have solid medical care in case anythng goes wrong. Yes, the care is 4 hours away but that's ok. I can be admitted to the hospital with no problems and the bariatric surgeon has residency there so I'll see him as much as necessary, if needed. Most importantly, I have a God that loves me. I have a God that has brought me out of hell, that has always shown a light in my despair. I have never been deserted or rejected. I have never felt alone during my darkest moments. If God has been saving me from this world since I was a child, I know He's not going to overlook me because I'm in Tijuana. That's my truth. That's what's going to allow me to have this surgery and claim the victory I know is mine, even if I have to walk through trials and tribulations to get to that victory. Now ya'll tell me your truth. What steps have you taking to be ok? How have you ensured that no matter what happens, you've done your part? Because at the end of the day, if we've done our parts, the rest is up to the fundamental goodness and purpose of this universe. Whether you believe in God or not - I use to believe in whatever was keeping the trees alive because the trees didn't work and they didn't move - sometime you just got to let life be life.

A very wise woman once told me "People's reactions to you are never about you; it's always about them. So their reactions don't reflect who you are; it reflects who they are." She made TREMENDOUS sense and has never steered me wrong. Sorry some reacted negatively to your post. The important thing is you are awesome.

Just wanted to mention a lot of people don't believe in drinking liquids with their meals. They say it dilutes the digestive juices, causes digestive problems, and isn't healthy. ---> Now back to your regularly scheduled broadcast.

My advice for you would be the same. After she's on lock down, you may want to go into details about your surgery, but until then, I would only bring it up if I had too. If the woman already finds you physically attractive, which you can assume if she agreed to go out with you, she could care less about your surgery. She'll care more about your intelligence, your personality, your financial stability, your living situation, your morals, and your future life goals. (PS This is my opinion. Some women just want you breathing and that's good enough.)

I don't understand why she would tell them at all but especially at 2 or 3 weeks out. Usually that's the casual, "what kind of music do you like to listen to" or "can you have an intelligent conversation about music" phase. When did it turn into the "here's my entire medical history" phase? I've only been with my hubby about 2 years so I know I'm not that out of the loop yet. Or maybe I am. Either way, I've never discussed my dieting..or my shopping...or my home grown pedicures...or my moustache waxes or anything else in that category with guys that were not already in love with me and on lock down. As far as dating guys were concerned, God just magically stopped my toenails from growing and I woke up every morning with pretty colors on them. Even with a committed guys, I only said things in passing, if necessary, and I still didn't really bring up diets. Reason one, I could never stick to one, and reason two, most guy just don't care. They're always, "yeah baby, you can do it" and then back to the ballgame. I only got my husband to pay attention when I mentioned this surgery. He could still care less about pedicures or bikini waxes or anything else that proves I'm human. He just wants the results, not the process. LOL. I would suggest your friend forgo her desire to blab. I know she's excited but she needs to join VST where she can gush all day and night. If she has tons of loose skin or surgical scars that need to be explained, then yes, she might want to mention them but again, in passing. Something like "I use to be a little bigger so now I have loose skin." We know "a little bigger" and "loose skin" doesn't go together but it gives a guy an out to say "okay" and move on in his mind. This is generally enough for the guys I know. Most guys are straight-forward and they keep it simple. No need for long drawn out discussions. To this day, my husband can't stand "I have something I want to talk to you about." LOL. He always looks up like Homeland Security is at the front door. It's pure fright and too funny. So if she tries to have an in-depth discussion about her girly parts, loose skin, or anything else in the first weeks of dating, a lot of guys may think she's too intense, which translates into too much work, and bail. In summary, she needs to not bring it up unless necessary, and then present it as "a little bigger and I lost some weight." Then move on with the conversation.

From what I read on here, your loss is solid. I think 5 lbs a week is nothing to sneer at, unless you're like 400 lbs then I understand a little. Higher BMIs tend to lose a lot of weight real quick. I think you're beautiful and you're definitely on your way to a healthier you.

I kn I know right? I'm freaking out but I'm still in, for the moment anyway. I know others have been through what I'm going through and it'll be ok. I think. Girl I'm scared, lol. But I keep forgetting you're going to be there too. That does make me feel 1000 times better. Have you signed up for the Facebook support group yet? I tried to sign up for the May 2013 one but she never added me. Which is sad cause we're going to go through the same things around the same time so it would be great to be on FB together. However, the general FB people are awesome and they have shown all kinds of love. If you haven't checked it out, the link to the VST post is below. You just have to request to join and she'll approve you within a day. http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/70990-facebook-support-group-page/

I wonder if it has to do with your staples. Have you called your doctor to asked what kind you have?

I wasn't generalizing. I said specifically something went wrong with his surgery - not anyone else's. I never thought a person would lose their hunger with this surgery. I researched that and I understand that you're still going to get hungry. However, the fundus secrets a large part of the ghrelin in your body and I said maybe his surgeon left too much of his. Specific. His surgeon. I'm glad it worked out well for you though. It has to be a weight off your mind wondering if the surgery was going to work.

I don't think some people can hear what you're saying. It's obvious your surgery went wrong some how. Either your surgeon left your fundus or he left your stomach too big or something. Something is wrong. And if you could control your eating and not eat junk food, you wouldn't have needed the surgery. I wish you the best. I hope you're able to get some help some kind of way. And there are a lot of complications with this surgery. I use to think it was 5% or less but I'm reading some studies that rank it as high as 20%. This surgery is not the answer for lots of people and we all need to keep that in mind when deciding whether to go forward or not.

That's deep. I need to think about that.

People are sick. You just give them all the support and experience you can and be thankful it's not you today, cause it could be you tomorrow. Someone said "we need to be thankful we're not all sick at the same time." I agree with that 100%.

LOL. Men are so cute. (I am still giggling over this.)

I think if you take a week off work and then come back and lose mad weight right afterwards, people are going to know (at leaset people at work will). But knowing and KNOWING are 2 different things. Just say you've finally got your eating under control and leave it at that. That's 100% the truth. You're just not telling them how you got it under control.

LOL. My hubby thinks I'm too sexy in his shirts. But he thinks I'm sexy in everything so maybe I'm just lucky. Give her a few and let her go to town.

They take out the part that creates most of the hunger. You'll still get hungry and have to deal with the old behaviors and head cravings. This board seems to be great for that though.

I'm in Greenville! I'm starting my diet tomorrow and having my surgery May 8th in Mexico with Dr. Lopez. I would love to be buddies.

It does change the relationship usually. Not that they don't love you but some spouses get an insecurity the didn't have before. You can google "major weight loss relationship" and read about other people's results. In the end, if your relationship is strong, you'll work through it just fine. My hubby is somewhat insecure but he loves me and it'll be ok. The funny thing is he's fit and gorgeous so I'm not sure what he has to be insecure about but there's no telling with the human mind.

I'm flying out May 7th and getting sleeved May 8th with Dr. Lopez. But I'm freaking out about complications and slow weight loss and people not having any restriction on their eating 3 months after surgery, etc. I might call it a day and just not go.

If you go to the slow loser board you'll see the majority of people are White so I think it depends on how you eat afterwards more than race but what do I know? I'm freaking out and might never get sleeved.

Never mind. I just read your post. I'm in Greenville though and I'm getting sleeved on May 8th, I think. With all the research I'm doing on complications and slow weight loss, I might seriously change my mind.

I've read research studies where a patient had a leak 9 months out and at 16 months. For whatever reason, I'm guessing diet, people's stomach don't always heal properly. Here's a link to the research paper on the 16 month guy: http://www.hindawi.c...gm/2013/136153/

I haven't read all the posts and I'm not going too. There is no way I'm taking the advice of someone with no medical training of any kind over my doctor because he has a doctor or nutritionist in his family. I have a pilot in my family but I'm not trying to fly a plane. That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. From the research I've done "Most authors suggest that the major risk factor for gastric leaks is not staple line dehiscence but is due to ischemia [lack of blood flow] in the gastric wall next to the staple line. Classic ischemic fistulas [a fistula is a hole] tend to appear between 5 and 6 days after surgery, when the wall-healing process is between the inflammation and fibrotic phase [your stomach's forming connective tissue to seal over the cut creating a barrier between the cut and the staples]. Mechanical fistulas are usually discovered earlier, within the first 2 days after surgery [6]." This is actual medical research, not my opinion. After surgery your stomach is inflammed, it's swollen, and it's trying to repair itself. That takes time, thus the need for the liquid and soft food diet. The "Oh eat a piece of pizza right after surgery" mentality is going to stop your healing. Listen to him if you want, all adults have that right, just know he's not going to be the one cut open for a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th surgery, he's not going to care for your kids, he's not going to pay your hospital bill or your mortgage, and he's not the one that may have a permanent feeding tube if things go wrong. Successful Management of a Gastric Sleeve Leak with an Endoscopic Stent http://www.hindawi.c...gm/2012/205979/

You look lovely, in both of them, but definitely thinner in the second one.

I have some great resources for after my surgery but this is one that list calorie amounts in case anyone else had this question: http://www.ucsfhealth.org/education/dietary_guidelines_after_gastric_bypass/