porclndoll

hey guys...just wanted to touch base...... i just came home from my follow up visit with my surgeon. i went two weeks ago and actually gainned weight. only a pound, but ummmm not supose to go in that direction. so i had to follow up with him today after I made some dietary adjustments. I ended up loosing three pounds in the week and I ended up with another fill. I am now at 2.75 cc's in a 4.0 cc band. I wasn't crazy over the thought of ANOTHER fill, but I did soul searching and realized HEY DAMMIT I got this band to help me....I NEED HELP...so i got the fill. I have promised myself and my surgeon that by the time I see him again, which will be in four more weeks, i will have busted thru the 200 pound mark. I started out at 272 Im now 206....66 pounds gone!!! :clap2: Its been a little slower than I expected, but I have had a lot of personal issues come up and given the stress that I was under, its AMAZING to me that I ONLY gainned one pound. soooo !!!

I got my head back in the game AGAIN....and I am walking with blinders. I can do this!!!!! My personal goal that I set when I started this was to reach 160 pounds. I can do it...... I WILL DO IT...

Lookin at my own boob, I have little lumpy things too around that same area. If your concerned about them see a doctor of course. But it sounds like what I have...They are real close to the surface of the skin? Not painful...just sorta there...Sounds like its just the way you are. I think breast cancer would be more inward that on the surface. I actually saw a dermotologist about a mole I have on my one boob, and he said that some of the other lumps that I was lookin at could possibly turn to moles. He said they aren't cancerous, but if they bother me, I could have them taken off. I dont see them turning to moles just yet...but Im keeping an eye on them. And he said that moles on the breast doesn't connect to breast cancer~~ Absolutely though, have your own doctor check em if they are worrying you~

Hope this helps!

Seeing pictures of myself at Christmas time. I didnt recognize myself. And the extream pain I felt in my feet at all times. I cried to get out of bed in the morning. I knew something had to be done.

hey guys.....

Whipple....U are a very talented writer...Thank u for your words of encouragment, and when i catch that damn demon I will let u know Its awesome having a cheering section to come home to. Thank U

I am doing Protein shakes in the morn, and in the afternoon, with a meal at night....per the recommendations of my surgeon. I dont have enough time at my lunch break at work to eat properly, and chew, so I end up getting stuck EVERY time i eat a normal meal~ Breakfast time, again same story, so I grab something that is horriable for me and choke it down. dinner time is the ONLY time i get to concentrate on me and what im doing as far as chewing. i dont like it, but it seems to be working. i havent gotten sick at work since i started this sooooo all is good. as far as feeling as though i need a fill, yea i think i do. i can eat me some dinner when it comes time. and when i drink the Protein Shakes its just not keeping me full. time to fill er up. my surgeon said that i should be able to drink the Protein Shakes and stay full, and not have to eat in between. he is a phenominal doctor and he knows whats best for me. im just scared of the erosion. i have to see him on the 20th. before anyone gets a needle stuck in em, i will definately share my concerns about the erosion.

aside from all this, life is pretty damn good! my son has totally adjusted to our move. he has done extreamly well with school. all of his therapists reported nothing but positivity during our last meeting. so apparently my little one has been affected by the stress of our old life, and now that the old life is gone, he is doing much much better. as far as the job, i have just desided that no matter what im doing, I just dont want to work! ahha...im doing good there and i hope to advance in the company, but i would sooo much rather be able to be at home. its a small price to pay for our sanity i guess

i will be back around...thanks for the encouragement guys~

I need to come back to keep my head in the game~

talk to u soon~

Hello Everyone....Here I am again. I know I keep poppin up pretty sporatic, but I definately need to get her more often. I am struggling sooo much with these final 30 pounds its not funny. I actually gainned a pound at my last visit. I have been eatting horriable..... I haven't been exercising as much as I should and Im just STUCK. I would like to get back into my support group meetings too,but that hasn't happened as of yet~ I just think I need to wipe the slate and start OVER...as if I am a new bandster and just get these final 30 done. My doctor told me to come back in two weeks to see where I am and if need be he will give me another fill. that will put me at about 3.0 cc's in my 4.0 cc band. I think I need it, but I am soooo scared of it, its not funny. I am afraid of erosion, Im afraid of being stuck, Im afraid of never being able to eat normal foods again. As it is, im on Protein shakes for most of the day then at night I eat a meal. I feel as though my portions are going up and I am not staying as ful as I should be very long. I know I need the fill~ Im just scared thats all. I go back to my surgeon who I love very much and I know he has my best interests at heart, on the 20th. Any rapid weight loss secretes out there? Hell, if we knew em and they worked, I guess we wouldn't be in this boat huh?

Aight, Thanks for listening, and U will be seeing my face around here more often

Gnite

Hey guys...Im back again...Droppin in to say HOW DO

I go back to my doctor on 6/6/06 for the official weigh in. I dont weigh myelf on my scale at home. I dont need the added stress...the last time I weighed in was at 208. I hope that I can drop that 8 and weigh in this time at an even 200~ If I meet that goal that would be awesome, but if not....there is always next time......Then I would be down 72 pounds and weigh less than I have my ENTIRE adult life. I have been upping the exercise, but I have cheated diet wise here and there...nothing toooo bad. So I know if I didnt make it, the heres and theres is what did it~~~

Well, I hope u are all doing fine. I have to go tear up my house now, I gotta find my bank card that is lost AGAIN....I hate being so disorganized.

I will talk to u all soon~

CIAO

Porclndol~

well here are my one year stats:

POUNDS LOST: 64

POUNDS PER WEEK: 1.23

INCHES LOST FROM WAIST: 9

INCHES LOST FROM HIPS: 9

I HAVE TO ADMIT I LEFT THE OFFICE ALITTLE UPSET THAT I DIDNT HIT THE 100 POUND MARK.....BUTTHEN I REALIZED HOW MUCH I HAVE BEEN THRU....HOW WELL I HAVE PULLED THRU EVERYTHING AND HOW MUCH I HAVE GROWN AS A PERSON. NOW I AM FEELIN QUITE PROUD!! I COULD HAVE CURLDED UP IN A BALL SOMEWHERE....BUT NOPE!!!! KEEP ON KEEPIN ON JOE DIRT!!!

hey guys. im sorry i haven't been around much. restarting your life is hard work dammit!

well, tomorrow i go to my surgeons office. i am coming up on my one year. i had my surgery on 5/5/05... i guess this will be the final weigh in. im sorta nervous and anxious. i had a goal of 100 pounds in one year, i didn't make that.......but thats okay. so long as i met the second goal that i set of 70 pounds. i had 4 weeks to loose 9 pounds to meet that goal. one of those weeks i had MAJOR pms and ate everything i walked past...so i have a funny feeling i didnt quite meet that. i am okay with it because i know no matter what tomorrow brings, i am still less than what i was when i started this adventure and i feel amazing~i will letchyall know how i make out. i would be very interested in taking my measurements again. that would be something to see....whoa~

okay all, im gonna go browse some posts that i missed while i was on hiatus.

i will talk to you all soon

~Porclndol~

Thanks Jana I JUMPED OFF WITH BOTH FEET.... I really hadda pull my head outta my butt. My friend helped me with that. I had been going thru so much crap that I totally lost focus.....I WILL MAKE IT

Hey guys. I just wanted to pop in and share the news I got at my dr appointment today. Well for the last three months I was stuck on a pleteau of 215 pounds. Didn't gain during the holidays or thru the bullsht of my life .. so that was good. I got that fill that my doctor and I were uneasy about and GUESS WHAT I am off the plateau~!!! I am down to 209 pounds from 272 when I started this journey~ Thats a total lost to date of 63 pounds~ My bandaversary is coming up soon.....its in May......I haven't accomplished the 100 pounds that I wanted... BUT the game isn't over........ My goal is to be UNDER 200 or at 200 by my next doctor appointment. Its gonna be tuff....BUT IM TUFFER~ If I can accomplish that.....then that would be 70 pounds with in the year~ I would be very happy with that~!! I now weigh less than I did when I got married over 10 years ago!!

Hope everyone else is doing well~

Talk to you soon

EEEWE BIG PAUL~~~~~ Thanks for reminding me......DAMN what was I thinking getting outta the gutter....Now, how many things to do with Syrup and Alone Time....hummmm I may have to think hard on that...now if the gutter only had some play mates.

Tommy O...I think your right. It is the feeling. I like coffee in the morning so maybe I can go for a cup o joe instead. I like summer mornings...all though the sun shine kills me... That warm moist feeling in the air....aaaa Maybe I just have the winter blues and Im craving SUNLIGHT AAAAAAA IM MELTING!!!!

Hey guys thanks for all the support.

I have desided to stear clear of it all together. My band is odd. One day it likes me and the next day it doesn't. So if I get away with eatting pancakes today, doesnt mean I can do it tomorrow. Soooooo I am just going to avoid them all together...and just suck down another Protein Shake. I am a little over half way filled and I just dont want to chance getting stuck. Being stuck hurts...and the slimes and BP's are just not worth a sucky 3.00 breakfast....I will just avoid it at all costs.

Thanks for joining me in my memories of McDonalds

I really miss waking up and going to McDonalds for Breakfast, ESPECIALLY now that the warmer weather is coming. I use to love going for breakfast in the morning, and sitting in my car watching everything and eatting my favorite hotcakes with sausage and washing it down with a big ol' orange juice..........Ahhh the memories make me warm on the inside. I use to love starting off any adventure or trip with a breakfast at McDonalds~ dammit and now i can't. I remember one time my husband, son and i went on vacation to his grandmothers house. It was like 8am and everyone in the house was SOUND asleep except for my son and I. We couldn't really do much because we didn't want to wake everyone, so I got us dressed, SORTA and we went to McDonalds for breakfast. We snuck out of the house while everyone was asleep and came back about an hour later. Everyone was still asleep. You know whenever you go to a fast food place you are swamped with orders from everyone else. I didnt need to deal with that as we snuck out...eheheheheh

Isn't this horriable.......having FOND memories of a crap for food place like McDonalds ~~ its no wonder i got as large as I did.........but damn, the craving is STRONG this morning. I dont want no damn Protein Shake today~ I did have turkey sausage with a little bit of maple Syrup, just for flavor.......but I needed to vent this craving. Sooo with that, Im going to get in the shower. Its amazing where our minds take us sometimes. Usually my mind is in the gutter or on Halloween or my son.......nope, this mornings fantasy, HOT CAKES AND SAUSAGE...Im a looser

hey guys..guess what i got ~~~~~a camera phone~~~~this could be pretty dangerous~~ muahahahahahahah check out this pic that it took. If you compare this one to my last photo (no cleavage this time) the difference in my face is noticable. lemme know whatchya think....

wow kelly~ i had no idea you were going thru all this...I AM HAPPY FOR YOU. I can't wait till I get my body in shape after all this.....Congratulations and u sound like u are doing an amazing job at recovering. soooo happy for you

This was fun...I am

Tell me something I didn't know,,mauhahahahahaha KIDDING...JUST KIDDING

michelle,

yea it was a bad relationship. Not healthy for anyone. and one day I had a moment of clarity and started to pack~ On top of being an alcoholic he has manic depression too...so it was lovely. Never knew who he was going to be and I was always on egg shells. Since I left I have never been soooo LIGHT...I dont have the stress of that relationship anymore and I am free to be me! Its a wonderful thing~ I wainted years to do this...and in those years kept saying OOO it will be better, tomorrows a new day...blah blah blah..DIDN'T HAPPEN untill I left. My head is where it needs to be to lose these last fiddy pounds and reach my goal. My head is straight...Its back to where it should be....

Talk to you later

Hey guys....Thought I would just update this post a bit. I have been outta the house now for ummm almost four months~ I haven't gainned a pound through this whole ordeal, which is a mirical. I didn't loose, BUT I DIDNT GAIN and thats what I am focused on. Now that I have my head out of the clouds a little bit...I am trying very hard to refocus on why I got this surgery, where I had hoped to be in a year, and what my next step is. The winter sucks. I dont come to life until Spring. Me and the ground hogs. ehehehehe. I got that last fill and it took me a while but I think I am regrouped now. I have been exercising every day and I have been real careful what I eat. I just can't give up the coffee...no way Jose' My scale shows a little loss...but I wont get back on it till I goto my doctors on the 31st

I have set a personal goal for myself...Gonna be one of them NSV's....I am going for my motorcycle permit and license. There is a course here that you can take for riding saftey and they help you get your license if you pass their course. I am really looking forward to it~ I am aiming to have this done by July of this year~ Then next year I will work on the motorcycle...unless I come across a cheap starter bike~ mauahahah

My son is actually setteling in finally. He knows this is home now. Thank god it was real ruff there for a while. He is sleeping good now. He doesn't cry when we park the car to come here.....He knows...which is a load off my mind. He is going to be okay.

We have a custody trial coming up if we can't get anything done thru mediation....thats at the end of this month. I am sure things will be okay, so Im not sweating it too much.

I am going to see KORN at the end of this month~~~ I CAN'T WAIT. I bought a corsette top to wear and I am going totally goth! I can't wait and I will post pictures! (If I take pictures that can be posted muahahah)

Okay guys....I will talk to you all soon

Good night

I WANNA COME TO YOUR PARTY!!!!!!!! I AM SOOOO ADDICTED TO THE SOPRANOS TONY IS MY MAN!!!! UGH........I dont have an ziti or canoli but i will be glued to my tv tonight. I have warned the family....I am shutting off the ringer to my phone......NOTHING is going to ruin this for me

Save me a canoli wouldchya

the guy at work has about 150 more to go till he reaches goal i think. he is very helpful to have around. he isnt the kind of person that would snatch the cookie outta your mouth but he would give you a mean fuzzy eyebrow....ehehehe ..... im down to the final fitty and its always been hard for me to break that 200 mark. i always get to this weight and then blow it...i can't blow it that bad with the band.....but i know i gotta work harder. i made it thru the holidays and the most stressful time in my life without gainning, which was a mirical.....but now its all me~~ i gotta get my head back in the game. my co worker will help me....im sure

Hey there! How is everyone? I havent been around lately! Things are going okay. I met a guy who has the lap band sugery who lost 200 pounds in ONE YEAR!!! Hes a co worker of mine and we went out for coffee the other day. Its interesting to see how other people keep their minds in check. I think I am having a problem with where I am mentally (well pertaining to the lapband) and need to try and get back to support group....but its good having him....Hes at work and we talk on the computer...good source of support.

Things are going well with me and my son moving out. My son was over his fathers house for the weekend and was there Saturday night into Sunday morning. My X called me and said Someone wants to talk to you....My son got on the phone and said HEY THERE MY MOMMY! The X took the phone back and said, He wants to come home. Hes been asking for you ever since he woke up~ Then he said WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS KID! Our son packed his own bag!!! With ever last stich of clothing he had at the house.....THEN our son DRESSED HIMSELF. I think if the lil boy could have gotten out of the house he would have walked home!!! I told my X that its very important for him to plan things to DO with our son when he gets him~ I think it went in one ear and out the other...We are supose to go to court at the end of the month for custody.

AIGHT I hope everyone is well. I will talk to you all soon~

SOPRANOS IS BACK ON TONIGHT~~~~ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE AS EXCITED AS I AM?? I LOVE TONY SOPRANO!! OH MY GOD. ANYONE REMEMBER THAT PARTY GAME FIVE MINUTES OF HEAVEN! I WANT MY TURN IN THE CLOSET TO BE WITH TONY SOPRANO~~~ OOOOO MY GOD. I WOULDN'T BE IN THERE FIVE MINTUES THOU MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH :clap2:

Hey there. I have an eight year old boy with Down Syndrome...and I worked with a student in the high school with Hirshburghs Syndrome which is a form of ADD, on the lower spectrum. I understand your concerns about medication and I SOOO understand they husband thing.

I wanted to chime in here with one thing and I apologize if its been mentioned.....I have like a milla second to make this post and get off the computer.

Please check out a book called the Out of Synch Child. Its all about sensory dysfunction and techniques to deal with a child that is "out of synch" and has controll issues........Its all delt with by stimulating and soothing physical activities. I do this stuff with my child and it is also addressed with his physical therapists and occupational therapist.

The readers digest version is a kid can't always process everything going on around them. There maybe too much light, sounds, activity and thats what makes them out out. Their little sensory system goes bazerk. Imagin being in a room with a radio on really loud, playing nothing but static, the lights flickering off and on, people talking and moving around, your standing on one foot and then YOU need to concentrate on filling out a paper. Sometimes kids can't process everything around them and they act out. Learning different soothing techniques saved me and my son at bed time!!!! Techniques such as joint compression and massage....BIG TIME LIFE SAVERS. We use to do brushing therapy with my son where a soft brissle brush, like a surgical scrub brush was used on his whole body...it was wild. I freeked out when they said here, brush your kids skin with this....but as I learned, it definately did help.

Okay, I gotta jett....but PLEASE check it out. I am sure you can google sensory dysfunction and come up with a bunch of information. If your son has ADD then this would benefit him greatly. Even if your son DOESNT have ADD some of these techniques STILL may be helpful!!

GOOD LUCK TO YOU

hey guys...back from the dr..i did get the fill. now im up to 2.5. i gotta do one shake for each meal for two days...then two shakes a one pureed meal for two days then two shakes and a regular meal....this is all to get my stomach use to my new fill. i also have to up the exercise which is nooo big surprize, but im a little ascared of this fill!!! gotta baby it i supose......i have been plateaued at 215 for a few months...the weight on my signature isn't right cause my scale is a big ol liar!!! I will adjust it to match my weigh ins with my drs office. I have desided not to weigh in at home any more because 1) my scale is a big ol liar, and 2) im not gonna stress out over the numbers. I gotta go back to some basics here.....and putting myself first is one of them! Life has been screwy over these few months plus the holidays so i came out victorious over those two situations...I didn't gain anything!!!! but now its crunch time...literally!!!! :confused:

okay guys, thanks for listening! talk to you soon~

Hey guys...Well its the night before a follow up with my surgeon~ And I always get a little tweeky before seeing him.....Thoughts of gainning weight, not being the perfect banster, having to admit to all my wrong doings ( well if the dr asks that is). This is almost as if I were going to confession the day after the Prom!!! I usually make out good.....(for those of you who have seen my posts before the dr visit and after the dr visit can testify to!) Im pretty sure this time in I am getting a fill and Im nervous about that...then again, I thought the same thing last month. However this time, I feel like I need it. I am hungry, I can eat a lot in one sitting...but I am getting stuck...and why is that?? Cause of this habit that I CAN NOT BREAK of big bites and chewing till my face falls off~~

Okay, thats enough....thanks for listening guys! :eek

Ya know what, my taste buds havent changed much l... but the way I look at food has changed and the way other people look while they are eatting really turns me off. Like I cant watch my mom eat dinner because of her portions. I know I could NEVER eat like that again, but just knowing I did and knowing portion sizes now I can't watch other people eat! Very werid~ I think that my mind and my band are in synch sometimes, at least in this area they are.