smjuroska

How are you doing NeverBe?

Hang in there! In a few months this will all be a distant memory. Side note... Did your surgeon write YES across your tummy?

a congrats to you ditrautman1! 25 pounds to goal is awesome! Diana yay for you and good luck!

My good news this Friday is I am done with all my pre-op appointments and it is a long weekend! What a crazy ride this has been! Hoping my surgery and recovery will be a little less stressful! I had the last meeting for the psy eval yesterday. I ofcourse was approved or "passed"! All those crazy questions I had to answers determined I was highly intelligent and a controlling ! HA! I could have told them that without taking a test! Whatever, it is behind me now. I am still not able to schedule my last appointment with my surgeon...waiting for all my labs to come in! Really how hard is it to fax results to one place to another! I do all the time, it takes like, 2 seconds! That is the appointment I get my offical surgery date. I have alot of things on hold waiting for that date! When to get a flight for my mom, when Bailey my daughter will be going back with my mom to NC to visit for the summer, day care arrangments, our annual summer get-away and the list goes on! I hate having things unresolved! I guess that's my inpatience and inability to control taking over! I should become a psycologist! HAHAHA! Time to get this show on the road! Happy Friday! What is your something good?

I am so sorry for you! I haven't been shot down this way (yet) but I been through alot of red tape with the clinic and insurance. I have been doing their jobs for them for a year! I can somewhat relate to your frustration and disappointment! Hang in there take the time you need and when you are ready to come back we will all be here supporting you! You are worth it! Have a good rest of the week and enjoy the long holiday weekend!

first I love my gummi vitamins...but my NUT so no go after surgery. His reason was that gummies do not have all the vitamins we need. He said one in particular was thaimin and that chewables were better and contained more of the vitamins we need. My friend's NUT told her that gummies aren't absorded well in sleeve patients. So not sure which is true but I guess I will be gummi free after sleeve.

your feelings and emotions are spot on to how I feel. I get this! Our journeys are different but the core reasons for the weight gain and surgery are the same (plus the snacking and extras. I too eat pretty healthy meals but those dang extras get me everytime!) Good for you and good luck on your journey!

Neat I said hang in there twice. Dingbat!

I agree with everyone. I know your frustration. A little over a year ago after researching the sleeve and picking the brain of a friend of mine who had it, I decided I needed this surgery too and I needed it NOW. Then I contacted my insurance and got the same news you recieved. I could have spit bullets that day! lol I ended up taking a whole year. I took 6 months longer than I needed to make this decision. Hang in there and if you really want this you will get through these insurance hoops and get it done! Hang in there and vent here anytime you need to. Somebody if not most of us have or are going through the same struggles.

Ok so I am nearly done with my pre-op stuff. I hate that my surgeon will not schedule until all things have been done. Oh well. I was getting so worked up over all this stuff I nearly quit so many times ( I mean I have been on this journey for over a year). You can see my frustration in past blogs. Well this random quote came across and I love it and needed to hear it. "Stress makes you believe that everything has to happen now! ( that is me, me, me, to a T) Faith reassures you that everything will happen in God's time." It is so true. I am not a super Christian by any means but my faith has always been with God. Everything always works out the way it should for good or bad and I need to let go of things that I cannot control. Funny how one little saying can snap us back to reality and clear things up! By this time next week I will be waiting (well if that crazy psy doc doesn't derail me. hehehe...but for real he is one egg short of sanity) for my very last appointment with my surgeon to schedule my surgery. After all this and I get my date I am sure the reality that I am about get my guts ripped out for the sake of weight loss will hit me. I still can't believe that I am really going to do this! I mean that mostly in a excited good way! One last random thought...I think I may break out the kiddie pool and get some sun this weekend. It is going to be in the 90s! Perfect pool weather. Tan fat looks better than white fat. Well atleast mine does!

I know can relate. I am going through the same thing. It is scary yet freeing at the same time. A good cry never hurt anyone. It helps to get it all out and unclog those emotional pipes!

Thanks Lyndeeboo! I don't know why I get so so stressed about the small stuff I can't control! All I can do is let my work know I have appts. and if it is a problem they will let me know. I just work myself up sometimes! Don't we all?! Your encourgement brought me back to reality!

Ok this week has been a doozy. I have been so busy with life and then on top of that trying to get all this pre-op appointments behind me. I had to cancel my last f/u with my psy to go to a NUT appt. I couldn't do both so I had to make a choice. Damn work! Anyway it is how it goes sometimes. So now I am rescheduled on June 5th! Really that feels like a lifetime away. I will never get a surgery date! I have had hurdle after hurdle to get this surgery and it has me questioning my choice again. I know this is right but then there is this little voice saying maybe all this is a sign. (Damn little voice...bet it's my stomach! I have been depriving it of junk and refined sugar!) Plus at my psy computer test the Dr. said, "You arent that big. I can't believe you are considering surgery. Yes on paper you are obese but you carry it well."(thanks I guess but I don't feel that way and my joints and lungs don't like it either) Then again yesterday the NUT said, "Are you sure you can't lose the weight without surgery you don't have too much to lose. Surgery is a lifetime change. Most of our patients are 350+. " Um hello people my BMI is 41 I need to lose a little over 100 pounds to be within a normal BMI. Plus if I keep on my track I will be one of those patients in 10 years! I thought after being apporved by insurance the hurdles would stop. But they don't. So I thought I made peace with this little voice. Then today my PCP office called and informed me their lab no longer accepts Quest and I would have to pay 350.00 up front or go get the blood work done at Quest. The nearest Quest is 45 minutes away. Really?! If I was just honest with my employer I could get my labs and EKG done here. So I am making this so much harder on myself and the voice is back. I really don't want to have to go to my boss and admit that while my gallbladder is being removed so is 80% of my stomach and that is why I am having so many appts. I work at a drs office so I am sure they are on to me. Gallbladder surgery doesn't require all I have gone through. I feel like I am being pushed to my limit. I have had atleast 1 appt every week for over a month now and I feel like they are all saying the same thing. Madness! Plus the co-pays and PTO! On the bright side I have surprisingly not "cheated" on my low-carb diet. I have had to talk myself out of eating a candy bar a few times! One was last night I had it unwrapped and everything. I threw it away then looked at it in the trash (almost a Senfield moment). But I conquered! woohoo! Anyway...I am not the only one who is going through this and I have to remember that. It will all be ok...right? So how did y'all deal with the stress leading up to surgery? How did you handle the appts. and work with your boss? TGIfreakingF!

I don't have a date yet. I have to finish my pre-op labs ekg (which only are good for 60 days) and nut appt. Then I meet with the dr. one last time to set my date. They said it usually is 2 wks from that appt. unless I want to schedule it out further. So most likely within the month or early June! I am trying to get my emotions under control. I love what you said melody2! I always try for perfection and beat myself if I don't meet my "perfect" standard! Glad to know I am not alone. I just got to keep calm and sleeve on!

I have so many appts. too! Drives me crazy. I hate going to drs. I spend 40+ hours a week in clinic/hospital setting last thing I want to do is spend my off time there too. Oh well all for the greater good! They aren't too bad and the barium is not too tasty but like the others said it not a very long exam.

You and me are soul sleeve sisters! I so feel this post! Very well written and I have taken the the same approach as you as I get closer to the day! I am a sugar addict and my food funerals has been making me feel the same way. I was so about to give in, read this and thought nope I can do this! Thanks for indirectly bringing back to reality! Have fun on your trips and good luck with surgery!

5/7/2013 Well a barium swallow (where I work atleast) is a modified shorter version of an Upper GI exam. A full exam is still about the same except you may have to drink a bit more barium, a thin and thick. Think milk and milkshake. It's not horrible but it's very heavy on your stomach. You may have to also start the exam with some "fizzies". It like nasty pop rocks. This will put air in your GI so things are easier to see. You will feel bloated and need to burp but need to hold it in until they say it's ok. You will be standing and lying on the table and may have to turn and roll a bit. Should not be to bad at all. Congrats on surgery date and good luck!

So I have been through all the emotions scared unsure happy sad calm etc. I am sure I still have some to go. I can only imagine the days or week leading to surgery. I can tend to be doom and gloom when facing the unknown! Then the dreaded pre-op liquid diet! I get snappy when I am hungry and I am sure my family will just love me those 2 weeks. I have been researching, picking brains, and trying to get me ready for this for over a year. I can see the end. Last week when I was approved I thought, "FINALLY" then some strange feeling of panic, and sadness. This was it, it went from I want to have this surgery to I am having this surgery. I mulled over this panic and sadness for a week. I realize that I am scared of changing me (never knew I kinda co depended on fat me until I was faced with finally get rid of her). I am scared/panicky ofcourse of complications and death. I have two young children. I am scared that I may fail. So I have been sitting with these feelings for a week. I woke up today and I know I am on the right path. I am sure those doubts will rear their ugly heads as I near my sleeve date but I know this is right. No ones opinion or advice can change my mind. I got this. Well today I do! What a crazy journey! I also decided to stop the chaos and focus on what is going in my big mouth. I pretty much eat healthy meals it's the in between when I am hungry that gets me. I need to make wiser snack choices. So I'm back on the wagon so to speak. I am even going to replace a meal and snack with a protein shake. So we will see how this goes. Ever since I put in my paperwork I admit I have been having food funerals. So that madness HAS TO STOP! Those funerals are just adding guilt on top of all the other emotions I am having. I am back in control! Happy Monday to us all!

Interesting...makes sense it is just silly to draw it out to 3 visits because i am eating up my PTO with these dang visits. I think I am fine mentally but I was not expecting all these visit and I swear I been asked the same 8 questions atleast 400 different ways. That is enough to make somebody crazy! Hehehe

I'm new too. No date yet I am trying to get through 3 psy appts (I would pick the one super psy doc who's requirements way above the average!). and a nut appt before I get my final appt to schedule my surgery. Surgery for you is like next week! Exciting

I so feel you on several of your fears and questions! I always wonder how my husband finds me sexy at my current weight...because that is the last word I would pick to describe myself. But you know what he does and he can't keep his hands off me. He loves me big and little and everything in between. He is my biggest supporter and I love him for that. I think our problem is we don't love ourselves so it is hard to see that others do. You have been together for 36 years so I am sure there have been times he felt the same as you and you loved him through it as he will with you through this. I fret over the surgery too. I work in the medical field and know all to well the what ifs! I just try not to focus on that and think of all the good things! Head up! You will do this and it will be a success! Pre op diet won't be easy but just take it one hour at a time. I will be rooting for you! Just think this year next time this will all be a little blip in the radar!

I will tell anyone mostly. I am not ashamed at all. I have to lose weight rather it be surgery or not. I have tried the not and it ain't working! So this is my last resort. My health is number one right now. For some reason though I can't tell my boss at work. I just switched jobs and I am on a floor all by myself except patients that come for their exams so I am outta of the loop from the hospital and clinic that I x-ray for. Totally different from my old work. we were all close and knew EVERYTHING about everyone. They all know about this. It doesn't feel right to discuss it with my current boss though. I HATE lying though and I suck at it so bad! So I have fudged the truth. I have had several appts and they know something is going on. I just told them I may be having surgery on my gall bladder. Not untrue... that will most likely be coming out with my stomach. I have been having problems with it so it may have to go. I just didn't mention I will also be getting the sleeve while they are removing my gallbladder. I do agree with most that it is a very personal choice and if I don't feel comfortable telling someone I will not share it. But that being said I am sure some people I have told don't agree with my choice but their opinion of me is their business not mine!

I just finished part 2 of 3 this morning. I sat in a testing room for 2 hours and answered in total (I asked the lady because it was crazyness) 967 questions. I had to answer a 125 questions booklet kinda like the SAT. You know hot is to cold like black is to white but ofcourse harder. Plus they threw in some number patterns and word meanings. Then a gazillion personality questions. Do I hear voices do I like my self yada yada. Thanks the good Lord it is Friday!

I just read that to my hubby...he said he is going to pray that I suffer from the same side effect!

I was reading through this and going to post the same thing. Hehe! I knew I wasn't the only person who used this term.