smjuroska

Hi everyone! My name is Shannon I am 32 have a wonderful husband and two beautiful girls ages 6 and 1. I am a radiology technologist by day and a bullshitter by night. I have more than I deserve in life and thank God everyday for it all. I am a huge music fan but not the snobby I know everything about every genre type. I am into everything from classic jazz to bluegrass. I can get down to some hillbilly stompin! hehehe I love Halloween! I actually love ALL holidays! I like arts and crafts. I love to decorate! I love even more to watch my husband roll his eyes when I get my decorating itch. I am addicted to pinterest. I currently have taken up gardening. The jury is still out on that. My bucket list is to travel the world, visit every state in good ole USA, learn to ride a motorcycle, run a 5K then maybe 10K and marathon (hell just run period really) and be a pin-up girl for a day! (I want to make a calendar for my hubby but I don't have the balls to do it yet).

Yeah not sure what that was about...he totally threw me in a tail spin. I do have to meet with him next week! EEEEEK! I was put off by them from the jump though. I scheduled this appt twice and went twice only to be told they had a new person scheduling and she had over booked me. TWICE! (Hhhmm something sounds fishy) I was one hot mama! But they are the only ones near that except my insurance so I dealt with them despite my better judgement. Oh well I will manage I hope!

I used the same Jabba the Hutt reference the other day to my bff. I haven't had surgery yet but I am scared of the dreaded skin! I think you look awesome! No Jabba the Hut's skinny sister! Just Skinny!

Just by reading what you have wrote I can tell you are a strong woman and wonderful mom! My brother had downs and it takes a strong loving mama to raise kids especially with special needs. We always said my brother Adam was a gift to us but to look in his eyes when he looked at my mom she was his gift. He loved that woman more than anything! My hat goes off to you.

Thanks everyone! Yes our stories are similar reenalee. My brother passed away in 2011 and I think my mom has given up after that. She just recently had her 5th heart attack 2nd massive. It breaks my heart! I can't change her outcome but I can fight like hell to change mine!

Not really... my intro was written a few months ago and realized I had not published it. Yeah I am one smart cookie...which is funny I say that! So I have been lurking in the shadows of this site for over a year. Looking through all the forums, blogs, and my favorite before and after pics! While doing research aka lurking on this site I have been over the past year going to appt after freaking appt to meet my insurnance requirements for approval for sugery. I finally finished the 6 pcp visits in March and was approved for my surgery the last week of April! YAY right...well yeah so I thought! My surgeron has her own set of requirments which includes a psy eval. No biggie that's pretty standard. I schedule the appt. I am ready to get the show in the road and get my surgery scheduled. Well I go thinking okay this will be a breeze. Yeah not so much I have PMS which basically means I am one lifetime movie away from a good ugly cry and I am tired bloated and trying not to eat any chocolate. I need to reschedule but that will hold everything up. I find out in the first 5 minutes this is the first of 3 appts. Ok so I have to come back here and pay a co pay and miss more time off work. I say is there anyway we can make it all one big appt? No avail! So we procced. It starts out okay... standard questions do you eat when you are sad happy yada yada. Then he ask what is the saddest time in your life and were you ever depressed. I say when my brother died unexpectedly in July of 2011. (Side story we were on family vaca and he got sick and passed away 3 days later...I also had just found out I was pregnant. it was a crazy horrible time in my life) I was really close to him and plus being pregnant made my grief ten fold. I was honestly depressed for a few months but that is to be expected I was grieving. Well he keeps probbing about that and I begin to cry and cry and cry. Gotta love PMS! I get myself together and we move on. Then he ask have you ever done drugs or have you ever got drunk? Yeah I was a wild teenager I did both alot! Dammit Shannon you are falling for his tricks! More questions. Makes me think I am an addict. Which I am not! I haven't touch an illegal substance since I was 22 years old. I am 32 now. Did this guy ever here of experimenting sowing wild oats? I barely can finish off a glass of wine now. My patience with this guy is getting thin. He then ask have you ever been sexually/physically abused. I don't answer. I start to cry again...damn PMS! I really don't want to go there I said. It was a long time ago. He keeps on and on. I go into a little detail and he said I should talk to someone maybe a female psy dr about this. Ok whatever you think... moving on. (I am thinking he thinks I am nuts! ) Surely he has heard worse. I am emotionally mentally done! He then ask remember these words in this order. (insert 3 words) I am repeating them in my head. He then ask the date...I answer. Then who was the president of the US during the Civil War? What I don't know am I in history class now. (If I answer wrong will you not approve me for surgery?) Then what is the capital of Italy? I give him a look. I say why?...I don't know why are you asking me these things? He says just answer the questions. Rome. Yes he says now count backwards from 100 and minus 7 each time. I give a even more nasty look with an eye roll. 100....um 93 ummm 86 no thats not right. Look I am not good at math in my head. I cant do that I need a calculator. He then says I give you an easier one...count back from 30 minus 3 each time. Ok I am offically pissed now I feel like a emotional unstable, addict, who is dumb! Plus I have to meet with him after my computer test to go over his results. I swear if this quack does not approve me I will show him crazy for real! Well probalby not but I will be mad.

So this is my first blog ever. I am blogging like most to keep a journal of my journey and maybe help someone along the way but I am sure I will need alot of that myself. Like most people here I have always been above average in the weight department. I ALWAYS needed to lose 10 vanity lbs in high school. Then when I hit my 20's the weight crept up. I always hated my body! I developed at an early age and look like a grown woman when I was 13. I had the boobs butt hips. Looking back I realized that this is when my problems with food began. It was my comfort. So I got married at 24 and got pregnant a year later. As soon as I saw that postive test it was my ticket to eat whatever I wanted for 9 months. For the first time since I could remember I was not feeling guilty for eating. I packed a whopping 90lbs. on. I was out of control! I had my beautiful baby and then realized I was huge and my body was forever ruined! I exercerised ate low fat low carb and lost 50lbs. Go me! Then life happened and things got stressful and I gained/lost it back, had another beautiful baby, over the next 6 years. I have been on every diet weight watchers atkins all the crazy fads only to go right back to where I started. That yoyoing can really play games on your emotions! So here I am I have 2 beautiful kids, a husband who loves me no matter what, and I am fat and I love myself least of all. I can give all the excuses like I am too busy or this happened and that happened but it all boils down to I put myself last on my list and now I have got to the point that I need help to get me back. The main reason I am doing this surgery is my health. I have a strong family history of early heart disease and type 2 diabetes. I have high total cholesterol high trigs and borderline high insulin levels. I am headed up the same hill many other overweight family members have taken. All of them are in poor health in their 40s and 50s or didn't make much past 50. I cannot end up like them and slowly kill myself. I have lived with my mother for 6 years suffering from heart failure and I know my days are numbered with her. She is only 52 and has given up hope. She has accepted that this is her fate. I can't let me children go through what I am going through with her. I know none of us are promised tomorrow but all my mom's serious health problem are directly related to her poor lifestyle choices. So while I need to get my head right and my emotions in check before surgery I am so glad I have made the choice to have WLS and hopefully be a happy healthy mother and wife for many many many years to come.