FineChyna

Really people are searching for answers. So you can't fault them for that. I was never told by my dr very much about anything and have learned quite abit from others posting about stalls and such. And since I use my phone I only read recent threads.

^truth.com

and while my surgeon did give me info, that info was not a 1 size fits all. also imagine seeing people hit their goal of 100lbs+ in about a year and you are struggling to get to 100lbs even though you are doing everything right. of course folks would be concerned and think they are doing something wrong. OP is 100% correct in her comments but i also think a lot of these threads about stalling are a result of fear and uncertanity NOT being impatient. we are all in this boat for the first time and really don't know what will work and won't work

I think reaching goal is worth way more then 100 dollars, but that is just my opinion. I would go for it and try to drop the 15 lb.

and unfortunately you quoted me before i could edit since i made a mistake and didn't articulate my point correctly. what i wanted to say was:

i am not sure i want to work to lose the extra 15lbs IMMEDIATELY because the coat might not fit at all and i didn't get my money's worth from it yet...

i didn't mean to imply that i am putting $100 over my goals. but it would be nice to get use out of an item i really wanted. since the scale has been stuck for sometime its not a biggie. the weight will come off when its ready. all i can do is keep eating right and exercising

great thread especially since it forces me to focus on stuff outside of my overall goal

small victories include:

feeling confident enough to try yoga and running

being able to shop in stores/wear brands that i could only dream of years ago

discovering my figure-i went from having a "round" body shape to a more "curvy" one. basically i now have a defined bust-waist-hip ratio. i picked the word discovering since i have always been overweight and never had that the stereotypical "best shape of my life years" before now

Be prepared to go through several sets of clothes as you drop weight. We ended up buying from Value Village or good will and, in turn, donated huge amounts of clothes there. Now I shop at places like Macy's, old Navy, kohls and the likes.i have not really felt the need to step into the really trendy mall clothing stores yet, but that is just me. Too expensive and I am approaching middle age so don't need to fit in that way.

you ain't lying. i still buy stuff on clearance but i did splurge and spend $100 on a fashionable trench coat last fall. i wore it a few times but it didn't fit properly in the arms and bust. fast forward 1yr later it fits like a dream but has me worried because if i am not sure i want to work to lose the extra 15lbs because the coat might not fit at all and i didn't get my money's worth from it yet...LOL.

if i remember correctly i was a sz 22/24 plus size before i got sleeved now i am somewhere between a 12/14 misses in most brands although i do have some size 16 pants because i have a huge stomach flap. for folks that don't understand women's sizing plus size is cut wider than misses sizes

as for actual measurements i think i was in the early to mid 50s but am now in the high 30s to mid 40s depending what we are measuring.

no change with the shoes. was born with wide feet like my parents. lol

i just tell people that i eat less and cleaner and work out, which IS true. but i also don't give nutrtion and fitness advice either.

i do not tell a lot people about the surgery because IMO its none of their business and i also realize a lot of people will not be respectful of my choice so why open the pandora's box? if i feel that my journey could help someone then i would speak up but until then i won't say anything

This one is great and everyone should read it before AND after surgery. http://www.amazon.co...t/dp/0976852659

i have this book and really enjoy it. i also recommend the weight loss surgery coping companion by tanie miller kabala and the course of weight loss by marianne williamson

This is what I do know. This surgery isn't a solution for me. It is an aid. I will meet my target goal, partially because of the assistance of this aid..,but mostly because I have decided to be unrelentless in the pursuit of becoming healthy. Reading that article inspires me to prove the doctor wrong.

kirsten, you are right and the attitude you have is how i was and am trying approaching this situation. i recognize that with this tool (or aid as you called) it that i am healthier than i have been, more physically fit and it has encouraged me to eat clean and be the best 'me' i can me. in the past i have dieted and failed each and every time. while i am disappointed not seeing the results i expected and was encouraged to expect, i am grateful that i have this opportunity. i don't want my question to seem like a cry baby fest about what i don't have because that wasn't my intent.

rebeca did bring up a good point that she could not have lost weight without the sleeve and i agree with that because again, as a life long dieter i could never maintain a loss without restricting myself to the point of being ill and unhealthy which is counter productive.

rebeca that is great your surgeon helped you figure out a honest assessment. i told my office what my goal was (100lbs) and they didn flinch. they still act like its possible. maybe it is? who knows?

According to Dr. Sharma's website

Studies show that the average ‘dieter’ is hoping to lose around 50% of their weight - the same is probably even more true for patients seeking surgery.

In reality, however, the ‘average’ medium-to-long-term weight loss with bariatric surgery is only a rather sobering 20-30% of initial weight.

Imagine the disappointment of the ‘average’ 300 lb patient, who, after experiencing the ‘average’ success (25% weight loss), still weighs 225 lbs! Never mind that her health has dramatically improved, she is off all their medications, and she feels better and healthier than ever before - she is still 225 lbs! From a medical and health perspective a spectacular success story - psychologically nothing but disappointment and failure.

Imagine how devastated the ‘less-than-average’ patients feel when they do not even manage to hit and sustain the 10 or 15% mark. These cases are often described as ‘failures” because, this rather small degree of weight-loss, which for many is in fact far less than they may have achieved with diet and exercise alone in the past, is sometimes not even noticeable.

so i posted this to get some feedback from people about their opinions on this article. i would really like to hear from the people who are/were losing slowly and are close to or past their 1yr mark.

for me when i read this, not only is it believable, especially for someone who did not meet their goal and it looks like i might not ever, this is something my surgeon's office never really discussed with me. the general concensus seemed to be that if you followed the diet and was physically active, you would be successful. granted folks measure success differently but i would think not being obese would be considered success.

so just some background: i have been extremely overweight all my life. by the time i was in 2nd grade i was 100lbs. when i decided to have the surgery was 290-ish. i was physical active before the surgery and in good health-just fat.

so here i am now 14months later and i am about 215lbs. and i have been the same weight since november-ish. my goal was to lose about 100lbs after surgery. i lost about 75lbs. i probably look a lot smaller than i am because of my body build but it would be nice to get out of the obese catagory and be in the overweight catagory but it seems like my body is fighting me tooth and nail on losing more weight. i do exercise 4xs a week and when the weather gets better i probably will resume being more active with outdoor activity.

i do follow the dietary guidelines as best i can without feeling deprived and i do track what i eat through MFP. what also makes me nervous is the fact that the "honeymoom period" for weight loss is between 12-16 months (some doctors suggest its 12-18mos). if that is true then i am quickly appoarching the end of that period too, which makes me worried

but if i am to believe what dr. sharma wrote, the loss of 75 lbs may in fact be all my body can or is willing to lose. i have also seen some studies that mentioned that when you are extremely over weight for years your body has a "set point" that it tries to remain at, which makes it difficult to lose additional weight.

so what does my surgeon's office say about my concerns? Nothing. they basically told me i still have "time" to meet me goal if i want and they don't measure success based on BMI calculators (which leads me to believe they know that many WLS patients will still be considered obese even after surgery)

when i talk to folks at my support group who have been sleeved they all tell me they have met their goal of 100+lbs within 1 yr with little to no effort. but on the flip side i have no idea what their life/health was like before they had the surgery either. i know 1 person personally who was sleeved but she quit her diet shortly after being sleeved and maybe loss 40-50lbs so i really cannot talk to her about this since she is not longer trying to lose weight or change her eating habits.

i look forward to hearing the responses to this article and the info i posted.

thanks everyone for the kind words and support.

Congrats on your weight loss. Sounds like you have made the lifestyle changes to be successful. I'm afraid I can't offer much advise being only a week out. But have you thought about seeing a therapist? Maybe they would be able to help some. As for your "friends" it spins like you need new ones! They don't sound supportive at all. Sorry your having a hard time. But be proud of your accomplishments!!

thx webb.

i have been seeing therapist off and on for years and could never find one that can deal with my food issues because i am not anorexic or bulimic. so i gave up and came here.

as for the friends i have been doing my best to ignore them lol

There are also some great books out there too.

can you please list the names of the books?

i am trying to get feedback on how people deal with emotional issues surrounding their surgery.

as for going back to my bariatric center-i have not found their support groups helpful to me. they seem to be helpful to people that have just had their surgery or is working toward that goal. i have not been able to find a therapist locally that meets my needs either. i came here hoping someone could relate but maybe you are right, this site isn't a good fit either

hi everyone!

i was sleeved nearly 13 months ago and so far have lost 75lbs. i should note here that i am extremely greatful to been able to have this tool help me lose weight especially since i have been extremely heavy all my life (by the time i was in 2nd grade i was 100lbs, the day i was approved for surgery i was 290 lbs, a clothing size 22/24 and i am 5'7).

but what is bothering me is that even with me losing 75lbs is that i am still obese. and to be honest i hate how my body looks now. it didn't look great before but now it looks really weird to me. (maybe because i spent so many years extremely fat? who knows?). its frustrating as heck. i exercise a lot, log my food, drink all my Water, meet my Protein requirements and i just feel in limbo and sort of a failure especially since people my weight and height have lost 100+ lbs in less than a year and didn't even do a fraction of the work i did.

and i also feel so emotional vulnerable since my "amor" has disappeared. i was used to constantly being ignored and disrespected. now i have people constantly trying to be around me and telling me how "pretty i am now that i lost weight". i have two friends who make comments about my body that make me feel VERY uncomfortable to the point where i do not want to be around them. all i hear is "OMG you have no butt now, ewwww" "OMG you have no boobs now, EWWWWW" "If you lose anymore weight than we can't be friends". Now the commical thing is i never had a butt, its always been flat. as for boobs, my cup size is still the same, the band size changed. but its still ridiculous that even when i mention how uncomfortable their comments make me feel i am made to feel bad. i should also mention that one friend is sleeved herself but is not following the diet and stalled out her weight.

some may argue that people are trying to be around me because i am more outgoing and feel more confident but that is not the case at all. i feel LESS confident now. when i get upset or feel lonely i can't (and will not) turn to food. i am feeling things that i have no felt in a long time and its rather scary.

i also realize i don't know how to communicate my feelings or show feelings without being scared of rejection or judgement. before i used to sit silently or work to please people, while burying my own feelings in the bottom of a food container. there are many days that i am annoyed, frustrated and angry because i just don't know what to do with my feelings or communicate in a calm manner how i feel. so now i just pull back further into myself which isn't healthy at all.

so i came here looking for support and maybe some direction on what to do, or where to turn for answers. i am sure many here have faced or are facing the same things. i look forward to hearing from you