Healthygal

Honey, I am so sorry to giggle when I read this, but I can SO imagine this happening to me! And with the help of your new tool and the things you will learn, you will never have such a thing happen again.

I answered this one awhile back, but I have a new one. I work as a registered nurse in a nursing home and there are several pregnant staff members there. The staff regularly talks with the elderly residents about their babies and when they are due. They will look at me when I come into their room, pat my stomach and say, "How is your baby doing?" I have had that happen three times. Enough is enough. I know it's an honest mistake, but it does hurt. When I tell them my youngest baby is at home and 12 years old, they are mortified, but I just laugh. Then I slink away from the room, moping.

Another thing I am hoping and planning is that once I get my weight down, I will be able to take up a lot more activity that I'm just too tired to accomplish now. I really love to bike, and it will be so much easier to go long distances without 100 pounds extra to push along! Heck, I might take up volleyball. I used to like that back in grade school.

Excellent points, everyone. How many times have I wished I could get to a health weight and "only" have 5-10 pounds to lose, rather than facing 100! With this I would have that ability, to go to a healthy weight I've never been at as an adult and learn better ways to maintain it. I hadn't thought of it that way before.

I so resonate with what you are saying. I think reading these posts is helping me get a clearer picture of what the sleeve does for people post-surgery. That's what I was truly asking about. I wasn't saying, "Well, if it's work afterwards, why bother?" I knew there would be work on the causes of the overeating, and choosing good foods, etc. But some of the posts sounded like they were really struggling with not gaining back. Some of the studies I read said that at 6 years out the excess weight loss was at a median 50% of what was lost initially. So I thought, hmmm, does the sleeve start to fail people? Does it stretch and they eat too much again? Do they still crave the bad stuff and just give up? I guess what I would hope is that when I reached that stage and COULD eat more, I would have learned enough about my eating issues and choose good foods that I wouldn't pack it back on again. But when considering such a drastic move as surgery, I wanted to find out how the sleeve was aiding people after a couple of years, how they felt it was still helping. I guess in the end, it's always still up to us to make it work. I just want to know that for the investment in so many ways, it will continue to help me permanently and make things simpler.

These are great responses! No, I wasn't looking at the sleeve to be a "cure". I know better than that! What I wanted, and have gotten some of in these responses, was to know HOW the sleeve made things easier as a tool, or if the struggles were exactly the same as they would have been when I've had my whole stomach and was struggling with dieting. I know for certain doing this will require paying attention to my eating issues, making smart choices, and exercising. That's okay with me. I wanted to know exactly what part the sleeve was playing in helping the process. I didn't want to think I'd have this surgery and then it would stretch out in a couple of years and I'd be right back where I was before. It is a super-big decision and I wanted to know what the sleeve was going to be offering me later on as a tool, or if the effects diminished. I am a food addict, too, and feeling full seems to be a big thing with me. It's a comfort. Also, hiding behind being BIG has given me a feeling of being more physically imposing and stronger, that people couldn't just push me over. That's one emotional issue I'll have to work through, because it actually scares me a little to think of being smaller. I've never been the smaller one in the group! I'm learning to find strengths inside myself that I can make shine, rather than thinking I have to physically be the BIG ONE who can't be pushed and manipulated. All of my diets failed because I got sick of being hungry and feeling like I was restricted all the time. When I did allow myself some of the good things, because I seem to want quantity over quality, I would invariably eat a WHOLE BUNCH and then I'd be back where I started in short order. Maybe part of the issue was also that, as I said above, I'm not mentally used to be smaller. That's going to require some work to get that worked out. I also have social anxiety, so having MORE attention paid to me would be, well, nerve-wracking. So yeah, there are lots of issues that will need work and attention. What I wanted to know was that having the sleeve done will continue to be an asset in my weight loss into the future and realy help me out, not just cause a lot of weight loss at first and then stretch and put me back to where I was at the start.

I'm getting startedin this process and it will probably be a few months before anything happens. I'll have to do a doctor's diet and therapy thing first to satisfy my insurance, I'm pretty sure. Either way, I'd love to have someone to support me and that I can offer support to. I'm a nurse, and while I know that this is the only solution for me unless I want to continue down the nonsense path I've been on my whole life, it's still frightening. Hope to hear from someone!

BAM! That is the truth! No one will take care of you in health care. You have to do it for yourself. People wonder where nursing attitudes sometimes come from...my gosh, we have to develop that kind of attitude just to survive in this racket! Take care of YOU.

RN here, for the past 5 years. Been in solid organ transplant, med/surg, cardiopulmonary stepdown/tele, and long term care. I've decided I'm kind of worn out on the bedside care and am finishing my BSN with an eye towards nurse practitioner, probably adult/geriatric care but I could change my mind about that. I had no previous experience in medical when I went into nursing, I was a graphic artist! I've always been interested in science and the body, though, so I am now 44 because I came into it all late. I've spent my entire life heavy. ALL of it. I was a rolly polly little girl and never stopped aside from brief times that I starved myself. I have PCOS as well. I've gained and lost the same 50-75 pounds so many times I don't even want to think about it anymore. I don't want to be "the fat one" in the room or on the staff anymore. I don't want to have dementia patients asking me when my baby is due anymore. I don't want to be tired, sweating, and having my screaming joints fighting me while I'm running up and down halls to care for 30 patients anymore. Nope. I want to have a lean, healthy body, do things I've never done before because I never had the energy, become a nurse practitioner and deal more with pathophysiology, and finally enjoy some things I never have been able to. I know it will be plenty of work, but at least I will feel that I'm getting somewhere with it rather than it being temporarily lost and will come back with more fat buddies in a few months. I'm scared about the surgery...I'm still in the paper-processing stage. And I know I will probably be a crying mess the morning of the surgery. But I do know this is my last chance of making a real, sustainable change in my health. Otherwise, here comes diabetes, arthritis, hip replacement, cardiac issues...you name it. I mean, I know we all die of something one day, but I'd like to have lived first!! I'm currently at 268 pounds, 5 foot 4 inches. My highest has been 281. Here's hoping for a much healthier and happier future fpr all of us.

I'm still waiting to hear something about insurance issues at this point, and how we will proceed with the process. Most days I feel very strongly that I want this done, but other days I am scared. I gather that's normal, so I just roll with it and think of all the times I've lost weight only to gain it back, and how miserable I am. I think a lot about how it will be not to have to live this way anymore. My husband is good with this, my kids are supportive, but the one person I am not even going to bother telling is my mother. My mom is opinionated and headstrong, and has almost never supported anything I wanted to do in my life. She also fancies herself an expert on human health, based on her extensive study on websites, investigation into natural healing items on websites that were SELLING the natural healing items, and her own personal experience. Since I became a nurse, I have learned to steer clear of health topics with her because she will resoundly trounce me about them. And she's not nice about it, either. She lets me know in no vague way that she thinks I'm stupid, that the information I'm touting is stupid and wrong, and that all of my training is based on what Big Pharma wants the world to know. She's very big into conspiracy theories, too...so really almost any topic with mom is a real teeth-grinder to get through. For several months, my mother has been trying to get me to take various supplements and drinks because that's the only way I'll be thin. Of course, some of the origins of some of these items are highly suspicious, and I put her off on many of them. Things like Vit D3, well, that has sound studies backing taking that, but otherwise I am not going to just take things because "mom says to." I'm 43 and can make up my own mind. That doesn't mean there aren't consequences. If I were to mention anything about having VSG my mother would flip! I mean, the resulting tirade of how stupid I was, how selfish I was to spend money that I should be using for something else and am instead spending it on mutilating myself...wow, it would just be a miserable experience. My mother doesn't live too far away from me, and I see her fairly frequently...I can probably keep this surgery from her until after it's over, but I just don't know how to deal with it all when I'm recovering at home and obviously having some pain. Or worse, what if I have complications and end up back in surgery or something? I know mom is going to be really upset that I kept this from her...in fact, there is no way that I can think of to avoid hearing how stupid and ignorant she thinks I am...either before or after the surgery it's going to come flying at me. You should have seen how she acted when she found out I used to take Paxil for social anxiety. It was pretty hard on me, as she has always been. I guess she believes she is right and she is doing me a favor, but that doesn't help me. In fact, I'm not even sure what I want anyone on here to say. Offer me some advice on how to cope with how badly it will hurt being told-once again-how dumb I am and how what I've done is horrible? Let's just say I'm not looking forward to the exchange. I guess I could lie to her and lead her to believe I have simply found some magic diet that makes weight fall off like crazy. As long as there are no complications, I could probably get away with it...but I could get caught in that lie and I don't like lying. Any ideas?? Thanks, Cara

Sounds like a lot of people have moms that are less than supportive. I can understand being scared for your child, but that's not what I'd be dealing with. I'm sure that's part of it, in there somewhere. With mom, she just has to be right at all times and knows everything at all times. So there's a whole other motivation going on there. I think I will wait until after it's done. As a matter of fact, I think I'll just wait as long as I possibly can. When she starts noticing my weight is falling off, I will mention to her at some point (via email) that I had bariatric surgery. She can tell me what a dope I am, but I will tell her that I made my decision and it has worked well for me, and look, ta da...see what I mean? Now I have a tool to help me control things. Or maybe I'll just never tell her. This is MY life, after all. Since I know she'll have a bit fit no matter how I handle it, why bother? I don't require her approval. I love mom...but she makes it a really hard job. Ya know?

I think I'll just be so glad I came through the surgery and woke up that I won't care about the weight for awhile! There's no way it's not going to come off eventually with the way we have to eat after this surgery, so let your body heal and figure it all out. My plan is to not be in any hurry. The very idea that this weight is finally going to come off FOREVER is so wonderful, that even if I lose very slowly, it will be pounds I will never see again so long as I stick to the program and make the right choices. You will lose the weight...give yourself the time.

I'm thinking of you and I so know where you are coming from. I am still waiting to hear back about my insurance and the pre-ops. Oh, and by the way, do you pronounce your name Mee-uh or My-uh? My second name is Mia, pronounced Mee-uh. Just curious. You will do fabulous! I get a lot of encouragment from so many people on here saying this was the best thing they ever did for themselves. That means a lot when you are contemplating something scary like WLS. Keep us posted! Cara

I love these topics...they help me to stay on track about WHY I want to get this done. I'm sure I'm repeating here, but here is my list: *How hard it can be to turn over in bed, and how if I do it a lot one night I will wake up sore. *How difficult a 12-hour nursing shift is on me, and how much pain medicine I have to take after one. *How much I can eat and how fast food disappears, and the example that is to my family. *How over the years you start to make fun of yourself so you can make people laugh with you instead of at you. *I will not miss feeling like a sack of potatoes with no shape. *Ditto ditto on the plus size stores!!! Paying 10 dollars more for an item that only has 4 more inches of fabric! *How my tummy pushes my legs out to the side when I sit down, thus making my hips hurt during the day. *How I notice people's eyes straying to my gut while they think I'm not watching them. *Comments like, "You know, she's about YOUR size." *Becoming too tired, sore, winded, etc to get anything done I really wanted to-like gardening projects. *How I will never receive a compliment, not even if I have a whole new outfit on. No one notices. *How when a thin girl so much as wears a new headband she will get compliments all day.I WILL be the thin girl! *Feeling that I am not part of the "group", being ignored when I talk, partly because of my own inferiority complex. *Not being able to have a subtle style and have it appreciated-no more need for BIG jewelry or LOUD clothes-unless I want to. I do like bright color and beautiful jewelry, but sometimes it's because small things are lost on me. *Being the one who can't go swimming, fearing riding things because I won't fit, not being able to horseback ride. When you think about it, people...wow....this has been such a HUGE part of our whole lives, anything we thought about doing, we thought about this damned fat issue FIRST. No wonder so many of us have problems with self esteem or psych issues!

NTVTXN, I hope my situation ends up like yours! It sounds pretty great to be able to have so much control at last. One of the disheartening things is to have PCOS and other comorbidities that cause losing weight to be such a tremendous chore. Then you are eating less and less and getting hungrier and hungrier, and eventually you just get sick of being hungry and tired and having to fight so hard to lose just a bit of weight. I know I've always felt so overwhelmed by the idea of having to face so much hunger for the rest of my life to keep my weight down. The idea of NOT feeling that horrible, nagging hunger all the time sounds like heaven! The only times I've ever had my weight way down, where people were giving me compliments and I had lots of energy and looked good, I was STARVING all the time. It was just a matter of time before I ballooned up again, because I got tired of fighting that hunger and felt like everyone else could eat when they were hungry, why did I have to be punished for eating until I wasn't miserable anymore? I'm waiting to hear back from the insurance, I guess...and the doctor's office is going to let me know. I really hope and pray my experience will be like yours! Cara

I'm so new all I've done is fax in my paperwork to be reviewed by the doc's office! But I had to get the paperwork out of the garbage to do that. I've thought about weight loss surgery before, but got so scared by the idea that I left it in the dust. I'm an RN, and I have been fat all my life. The only time I was a normal weight was when no one had fed me yet when I was born, because forever after that, BAM...I was big. I have never known anything but a very short time of being smaller, and that was during a health scare after my third daughter was born. I was too scared to eat, and lost about 67 pounds, but as soon as they told me I was okay I slowly gained it all back again. I had been so hungry all the time and miserable with never eating. Now here I am, 43, have three girls and my hubby to live for, and I feel terrible. I ache, I'm tired. I have plans for all kinds of things I'd love to accomplish but no energy to do them. I have past cardiac issues that I healed from, but my doctor said, "Don't get diabetes, it's just going to set your care backwards two steps"...and I am prediabetic with metabolic syndrome. I look into the future and see someone who may lose 20 pounds here or there but gains it right back again plus some, and will never do the things she dreams of as time slides away. And will I get to see grandchildren, or help with their care? I don't know. I admit I'm scared of this surgery, of the possibility of blood clots (because I have a hypercoagulabilty issue) or something going wrong. I'm scared of the idea of part of my stomach being taken away. But I'm scared to stay the way I have been for my whole life. I weigh 270 and I don't want to be a fat nurse anymore. My self esteem is in the toilet and I hate how I look. I want to crawl out of this and enjoy life again, but I no longer have any faith in diets because I've failed at them so many times. I can't even stand to start one because I just see it as a farce. My husband supports me in this, but I am keeping it from my mother who is of the opinion that this kind of thing is butchery and if I'd just stop eating everything would be fine. I'm the nurse, but she always thinks she knows everything about human health. Everything for her boils down to "just make yourself do it!" I wish life were that simple, really. There is nothing simple or easy about making this choice, and from what I've read there is nothing simple about the changes that need to be made to make this surgery work. So I thought I would take one more step and sign on to this support list to begin my path. I'm going to need phenergan and xanax to be able to get to the hospital to have the surgery, that's how scared I get about things like that! I've been reading many stories on here and I see a lot of great people, including more nurses than I expected! Can't wait to get to know you. I live in Indiana, but will be going to Cincinnati, OH to Dr. Brad Watkins. I hear wonderful things about him, and look forward to my meeting with him. Cara

I know that as a nurse, there are actually shorthand notations we use for gastric bypasses gone wrong. It happens quite a bit. I also know a woman who had gastric bypass that isn't big but she's certainly not small, either. I know three people who have lap bands who have lost some weight but are not near their goal. The good thing is that VGS doesn't do the same rerouting that gastric bypass does, so there is less chance for infection. It is still a scary thing, but I really feel my life has to change and this is the only way to get it to change permanently. Why is it that we have to make ourselves so miserable to get our weight down, I wonder? That's another aspect that sold me on the VGS, the reports that it decreases hunger so much and that diabetes and prediabetes can be resolved in nearly 80% of the cases within just a few months of surgery. Because I have been obese since literally before kindergarten, I have never known how to eat properly. My body has been given the signal to overeat and those hormones have been at work in my body FOREVER. Part of me blames my family for this, since I look at pictures of myself as a little girl with huge rolls on my arms and legs and asked my mother and grandmother, "How did you NOT see that there was a problem? Why did you keep feeding me??" They just shrug and tell me that it was cute when I was little. NICE. Then they look at me like, so why don't you change it now, you're an adult and it isn't our fault your fat NOW. Well, science tells us it kind of IS. Setting all that into motion, the hormonals situations that my body has been bathed in since the beginning, the preprograming of the cells...well, yeah, they set me up for a lifetime of being fat or fighting like hell to change it. My body always fights back and wins. Not anymore...

As I was writing on another post about the reasons why I have decided to look into doing this-the things that I miss out on and that have happened to me because of my weight-I realized it... I'm really going to do this. I'm not going to put the papers in the trashcan again. I am really ready for this change. I am really ready to find new ways to deal with life than food, like walking and biking and moving so much more. I'd like to learn how to make super healthy foods for my family and to be an example to my children before they ever become fat. They sit inside all the time, and I bet if MOM was outside doing things they'd be more likely to start going outside and moving, too. I have told them DON'T GET FAT, but their diets are crap and they seldom move. They are not healthy, even though they are not fat yet. My husband is about 40-50 pounds overweight, and I think is watching me to see what happens. I can't ever see him doing this drastic step, but if he eats healther with me and goes out and walks more, maybe he will drop some weight and we can all feel so much better. In which case, I am not just doing this for me, but for the health and well-being of my entire family. I'm really going to do this!

Getting winded tying my shoes, feeling a little out of breath when I just roll over fast in bed, having been told by my doc NOT to get diabetes due to a past cardiac issue...and knowing I was already prediabetic...feeling so many things were off limits to me. Having people come up and ask me if I was "expecting" again, and having to laugh (faking being okay with it, like you do, you know?) and say, "No, I'm just fat." Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. .... I never get anything done. We have two stories in our home and I actually don't do anything in the second story because of having to climb the stairs! I feel like a sack of potatoes with no shape. Clothes shopping is pointless because nothing looks good on me anyway, so I have taken to wearing whatever big t-shirt I tossed on the floor from yesterday... There are a million reasons I want to get this done. I have done the diet and exercise bit, and there isn't enough life left to live to waste on that nonsense anymore.