Bree

I started in with the tattoos at 18 and I'm the only one in my immediate family who has them. I faced plenty of mocking, judgement, criticism, and condescending remarks. I feel like I can sympathize on some level. At 30 you're pretty much your own woman, free to make choices that may go completely against what your mother tried to instill in you as a girl. It is probably similar to a conservative parent having their kid turn out liberal, or a conservatively religious family having a kid turn out to gay. Your mom might be feeling pangs of guilt and failure, and taking that out on you... most parents at the end of their day want their kids to continue being happy and healthy. When she gets through the forest enough to look back and see the trees, she'll recognize this and let it go. (I hope)

Good luck, give it time, and get some more tats while you're at it just to show her you mean business.

I came to this site for help and support during my surgery process. All I've found is:

1. People who like to complain. A LOT.

I suppose I've done a bit of bemoaning my pre-op life... sorry.

2. People who still want to have their cake and eat it too. Good god. If I see one more post about being 5 weeks out and wanting alcohol!

Oh lordy. I'm guilty of this too! I made a post about having/not having caffiene! sorry!

Want sympathy? Look it up in the dictionary.

Says you who "came to this site for help and support".

On a public forum there will be those who uplift, and those who bring down. Most of us seem to be adult enough to overlook the BS and find that help, that support, as I know I have! And I am so glad to have come to this site, having no real-life friends who have gone through this. I am so appreciative to the folks on this forum who've taken the time to both answer my IM's and my threads.

Where can you find hint Water?

I've been buying them at Whole Foods grocery, but you can get them online at Amazon I think, and at walmart.com.

http://www.walmart.com/ip/17197668?wmlspartner=wlpa&adid=22222222227000000000&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=&wl3=21486607510&wl4=&wl5=pla&veh=sem

They are so delicious!!! It's weird how it still sort of tastes sweet even though there's no normal or artificial sweeteners and the fruit "essences" are pretty accurate, they do not taste fake or like candy which I love.

Blackberry is my fave :wub:

hoooooo lawd!

I've heard that hormones go out of whack when losing weight, causing everything from hair loss to mood swings or changes in libido.

The amount of oil your scalp produces is directly related to hormones as well!

I would get yourself a good "sunday shampoo" which is designed to strip your hair of oil and build up, and then switch to a light conditioner, and only do your ends.

You can also get yourself a dry aerosol Shampoo that will soak up the oil. I use it sparingly on my roots when I need a shower but don't have the time to wash, though if it's applied to liberally your hair can look dusty. Here's a good example of one. http://www.sephora.com/detox-dry-shampoo-P378169?skuId=1506468

Last advice I've got is working with the oil, and using hairgel / pomade to "slick" your hair into a pretty ponytail or bun if your haircut will allow it.

Best of luck. I'd bet that when your hormones chill out your oil glands will too.

woman in me, you are so right. Thank you for that!!!

I thank all of you who made the effort to reply.

The issue of being immobile, huge, and in pain, combined with the hygiene issues are really... SMALL in comparison to my emotional / psychological shame and self-loathing issues.

I welcome any advice in battling these difficult emotions. Next step is to get a therapist.

Bree he loves you! You need to love yourself before surgery! The sexy will come back after..

But the mere fact that you still "take care" of yourself means you are still a sexual being.

Girl go take a bubble bath tidy your self up a bit down there (if you can get yourself off you can do a little) and have a nice evening with him. Have a glass of wine, and just love! Love yourself love him and love the future you are about to embark on!

Laura

He does love me, I am BLESSED in that respect.

Hmmm... I can't fit into a tub anymore and with my back issues I'd have a hard time getting back up in the first place. And yep, I can reach to do the "deed" because my "massager" is 18" long. Otherwise, nope, can't groom or reach.

I'll take your advice on the wine though. I have 3 more days before I have to start my pre-op diet. I'm not a drinker but alcohol might put me in a position of not caring about my self esteem issues.

Well, this morning my husband dropped the bomb on me that he's not really happy and is very stressed out because we haven't had sex in.... months.

I don't even know how many it's been. I lost count.

He's been trying, to his credit, and has always stated he's attracted to me, and there's no issues on his part. It's all on mine.

My libido is intact. I take care of myself privately, get it done and over with as fast as I can. (yes, I realize how pathetic and sad that is).

Well, here's why I don't much want to do it:

It's very hard, and painful. I cannot participate to any degree I used to. I'm pre-op, 5'1" and 280 lbs. About all I'm good to do is lay around like a beached whale. Add to that a compressed disc and sciatic back pain and it makes for a lot of discomfort.

Hygiene issues. I'm no longer able to reach my hoo-ha and things are overgrown and not as clean and nice as they oughtta.

Esteem / Psych issues. I dont' recognize my own face in the mirror and the depression and emotional pain makes me feel disgusting and shameful. When he wants to get close, I feel disgusting and shameful.

....which brings me here. I'm in tears because I feel like I've truly let him down, and been a shitty wife. And yet, I know I should probably just give him a HJ or BJ or *something* but if I myself do not feel sexy or attractive, it feels so wrong.

At the same time, I have to get my groove back. This surgery (mar 14) needs to not only save me, but my marriage. I am desperately hoping to get my groove back once I've lost the weight but between now and then?

Is it unreasonable to go a very long stretch in a marriage without sex while I get through this? Could use advice, esp. from those of you who've been in long/stable/happy marriages.

Wow...ok...I've had my last Crystal light to drink...I've been drinking Water and alternating with Water w/Dasanii or Mio flavor enhancer water drops (didn't see aspartane on the label), and hopefully ween to water only.

If you love a little fruity flavor in your drinks, I've been loving Hint Water. It's unsweetened bottled water but it has flavored essences like blackberry, watermelon, pomegranite mango, etc. and they are surprisingly satisfying though there's no sweeteners.

I personally think that crystal light (or other aspartame containing foods) messes with your blood sugar.

It is no longer just a hunch, it is fact. A recent study by France's National Institute of Health and Medical Research was done across over 60,000 women over a span of 14 years and artificial sweeteners cause the body to produce insulin to the same degree if not more than sugar, increasing the risk of developing diabetes 33% up to 60% by simply consuming 12 to 20oz of artificially sweetened drinks in a week, and initial findings show it can increase cravings for real sugar.

Only ONE 12 ounce artificially sweetened beverage per week can increase your chance of developing diabetes 33%!!!

Source and study info: http://english.inser...ype-ii-diabetes

Helpful "leyman's terms" article: http://shine.yahoo.c...-192600358.html

Damning evidence if you ask me. 14 years over 60K+ women...

Reading that was enough to swear me off artificial sweeteners for GOOD!

Thank you for the great advice... I feel like I'm crowdsourcing better information. My friend, who is having a hard time with chewables, might be pleased to know this.

I am on a certain kind of Migraine medicine that absolutely can't be crushed... plus I spent about $60 on supplements in pill form, I was pretty pissed!

Thanks everyone, I will crush until I feel I can handle full pills (unless directed otherwise by dr. aceves).

Cheers!

A friend of mine was sleeved a month ago and I asked her when she was able to start swallowing whole pills... she said never. Her doctor told her she had to have liquid or chewable Vitamins from here on out.

I am a bit frustrated at hearing this because I've been going out of my way to obtain supplements, spent quite a bit of money on them, I've got my Bariatric Advantage multi, my B12, Biotin, zinc, etc. -- NONE of which are chewable.

What am I supposed to do with this stuff? Do you guys crush your pills and mix with liquids or what?

Or can you actually swallow pills post-op? Some advice is needed, thank you!!

Keep in mind, unflavored Protein doesn't mean there is no flavor...it just means it isn't vanilla, chocolate or strawberry!

Finding something was a challenge for me. I finally settled on the bullets, some say not the 'best' but it is what didn't gag me and I was off supplements altogether at 2.5 months. Anyway, I drank the bullets (got mine from GNC by the case). They're only about 3.5 oz and that is not much at all. 42 grams of Protein and even though the taste was not any better, it wasn't as thick (I'm big on texture!) and I could hold my nose and breath, just like a kid, and take a couple of sips in the morning, at noon'ish and before bed. I'd rinse my mouth out afterwards and survived!!! Good luck and congratulations!

What brand of bullets were you using? I'd love to know for my own purposes. Thanks!

A friend of mine just picked up Unjury unflavored protien power, though I don't think you can get it anywhere other than online... good luck!

First take a deep breath! I had my period when I was sleeved...and it was the "heavy" part. They give you this mesh underwear that a GIANT pad will stick to...you're asleep when they put in the catheter and asleep when they take it out so you won't notice it at all. Just remember, they are used to all scenarios. There will be nurses to help you, etc.

Hang in there!

Such a relief, thank you for the reassurances. I was worried I'd be layed up in the hospital bed directing my husband how to use a tampon applicator... or some similarly horrible experience.

yeesh!

Mine started day of surgery. They will give you these net panties, and nice big thick pads that they use in the maternity ward. The nurses are very used to it and they will help you. You'll be able to go to bathroom and keep yourself clean. As for cramps you might not feel much cause of the pain meds Good luck:) you'll be fine its really no big deal to them..

That's good to know, thank you for the details!

I have just figured out that my period will be starting a day before my surgery...

I am a bit wigged out about this. The hygenic issues of course... worried about having catheter down there.

The cramps I get are pretty bad, especially day 1 and 2, I have long heavy flows. How will I clean myself, even handle things like tampons or pads if i'm layed up in bed barely able to move with wires and drains and such?

I'm pretty freaked out here.

Any advice?

Bree... After surgery, for most folk, any added gas in the system is uncomfortable at best. I use them a couple times a day. But also, in regards to eliminating gas the normal way... There is a phrase here... "Never trust a fart."

hooooo lordy. I'd better stock up on maxi pads, eh?

What made you both choose Dr. Aceves if you don't mind sharing?

I'm self-pay and I didn't actually warm up to the idea of surgery in Mexico until recently. I have been packing away money knowing the cost of a US surgeon in my neck of the woods would be about $17-20K. I started saving all my money and came on here for support and just to check it out. I actually lurked here almost a year before registering! It was here that I discovered mexico self-pay, and how it was less than half the cost in the US. That meant that I could literally have the surgery NOW, I already have that much saved up. Seeing the affordability made me seriously consider it. The option of surgery in Cancun was really appealing to me, and I thought how cool it would be to wrap up the surgery and a vacation all in one... however, the doctor who perform's surgery in Cancun had, as far as I know, only one review here on the forums, very little anecdotal commentary and his ratings were not as high as Aceves. Aceves is more expensive, Calexico is a lot less sexy and wonderful than Cancun, but I want the best and when it comes to Mexico bariatrics, he seems like the guy.

TL;DR

This forum's anecdotal accounts of Aceves helped my decision. :-)

Bree, I'm also looking into going to Dr. Aceves in June! I'm so scared and excited!! I don't have much of a support system, but I'm like the OP, tired of being fat!!

I'll post my entire Aceves experience and add to the wealth of existing experiences posted here. Like you I don't have much of a support system, only my husband knows and a lot of this will be on me to figure out. And hopefully I'll get some support here at the forums.

I'm not scared at all, I just keep thinking... in 2014 I'll be skinny! One year... a year blows by so fast. Before you know it you'll be buying things in sizes that have single digits!

Think about it this way. You put your life MORE at risk by getting into an automobile, than you do going onto the surgeon's table for this specific procedure. (really! my husband and I worked out the odds of both complications and death, compared to that of getting into a car and risking an accident).

This really helped ease both our minds about it.

Also, who's your doctor? I'm getting sleeved in Mexico on Mar14 by Dr. Aceves. Perhaps our paths will cross :-)

Stay strong, and don't chicken out. If your life is worth putting at risk by driving on the highway, then it's worth this risk to ensure weight loss, a longer lifespan, seeing grandchildren, not dying early of heart attack or diabetes, and reaping the great rewards that life offers to people with healthy bodies. If someone offered you all of those benefits by simply getting in your car and going for a drive just once, you'd do it, right? We all know there's potential for accidents, even fatal ones, yet we drive all the time. Performed by a credible surgeon, your sleeve surgery is even safer risk-wise.

It is SO WORTH IT. Don't be scared Lotti. (hug)

That is so strange. My friend is just under a month post-op and she remarked on the same thing. Her sense of smell is now off the charts and she's nauseated by some food smells now, most especially her co-workers' food.< /p>

Very odd!

I feel like a total newb for asking this -- but why are you guys all getting gas-X strips?

Does the surgery cause gas pain? Or is it the diet? Pardon my crudeness but...is there no way to just fart it out through the day like most folks?

I'm not struggling, but then again, it doesn't feel real yet. I know that I'll struggle with the pre-op diet... but not too worried.

Honestly I just want to get it over and done with as soon as possible. I wish I did this years ago!!