2013newme

So now that I have "officially" accepted responsibility for my weight gain over the years, now I'm trying to figure out what led to this roller coaster life I lead! My last blog, I talked about being on phen-phen and loving it... then getting married and 2 kids later - poof I'm topping 259.6 lbs! But there is a lot in between that time span that I need to reflect on! So - in my late 20's and early 30's - newly married, fabulous job, living in DC - smoozing with the politicians, climbing the work latter, away from my mom.... hmmmmm - can't think of a single reason emotionally that I should have gained weight... I think I stayed a size 10ish - wavering between an 8 and 12 probably - so not too bad. Though, again, I thought I was HUGE! But honestly, other than eating out, and enjoying an adult beverage (oh and not working out) - I'd say life was even for me during this time! Moving into my 30's - 2 kids now! Moved to Atlanta - lived in the burbs with the white picket fence (literally, a white picket fence)... hanging in the cul-de-sac in my sweater sets.... I gained about 40 - 50 lbs with each kid - though I lost "most of it" each time - but stayed in the 170s - 180's for the most part. I played tennis on the neighborhood tennis team - and in my late 30's, started running... I got down to a size 8 - 10 again and looked and felt good! Then BAM! It hit! My daughter is in kindergarten - teachers think something is "not quite right"; tests begin... nothing unusual - but still something "is off".... she enters 1st grade... and now the fun begins.... without going into the details of how we got there... we found out my daughter was dyslexic! The end of the world!!! We thought we had to brightest (her IQ by the way is 1 point below Genius), most perfect child... oh my god... what are we going to do? What did I do? I went into Mamma Bear mode.... started looking at private schools that specialize in dyslexia, started taking her to special tutoring sessions (driving an hour home from work to pick her up, then driving another 45 minutes to the tutor, waiting an hour, then driving an hour back home (rush hour). We started eating in the car - snacks on the way there, dinner from Mickey D's or Chick-fil-a on the way back... 3 x per week!!! I stopped running - who has time for that when you have a full time job, 2 kids, and this new "the world has ended" weight on my shoulders? My daughter was accepted in the top school - whew!! but that meant commuting 1.5 hours each way every day... but I was willing - because it was only supposed to be for 2 - 3 years (a transition school, where there is remediation and you go back to the "real world"). So we ate in the car...ALOT!!! My daughter isn't gaining weight because she is active (see a pattern from my mom here?)... but she is also on ADHD meds with acts as an appetite suppresent. I however, am gaining weight... not on the tennis team anymore, and definitely not exercising! Now add in my son - the pre-schools are saying he has some issues too - oh here we go again - at least we know what to look for this time - right? But we have him in a pre-school that is for advanced kids - and he is falling behind - and the teacher is bullying him - yes bullying a 4 year old. He went into a depression - 4 year old!!! He was the happiest kid - every day is a good day - and then boom - depressed! We pulled him out of that school and went to another school - he was happy, but not learning - but happy :-)! In Kindergarten - we decided to nip it in the bud - have him tested and boom - he is dyslexic too (it is hereditary and I probably had it but overcame it with my intellect and my dad is). We enter him into the same private school as my daughter - and now have $50,000 in tuition plus uniforms... plus the commute... and eating on the go! But - it was only temporary - right? So we did it... and then.. came the time for my daughter to be retested (every 3 years) and to start thinking about the next school..... I remember it clearly... I had just started a software development leg of my company... I was 30 minutes from walking into a board room filled with CEO's and CIOs from major companies (7 of them) to pitch my latest product.... and the psych called.... "Hey Krista - just wanted to let you know I'm coming up with some "weird" results for Natalie".....pause...."I'd like to run some additional tests"....pause...."I think she may be on the autism spectrum...and by the way I think she comes by it from her dad"! THUMP!!! OMG!!!! Did she just say AUTISM? OMG!!!!! So I compartmentalize that, and do my presentation... them come out and just CRY!!!! Turns out... after the initial testing and 2 second opinions... she is on the spectrum... and my husband is accepting that he may be too - but what is he going to do about it at almost 50 years of age?... Now my world is crumbling... AGAIN!!!! I have to find a new school, I have to put her in a "social skills" class (she was "shy" all this time - not autistic), I have to rearrange my life... AGAIN!! My world ended during this time - how can this be? So I started taking Lexapro to "deal" - and I probably drank way more wine than I should any given week... and I most definitely ate out every meal and did not exercise! OK - so, I found a school - only it is 2 hours from our house... my son is still at the dyslexia school - the complete other direction... so now what? Oh - sell our house and move closer! We also decided to go ahead and move our son to this school as it is a school for all types of learning differences! So - we move, move schools, and I also decide to sell my businesses.... I had to make changes - I had to do something!! But selling my business turned out to be a VERY bad idea (I'll write more on that another time)... and turns out, my son has Asperger's too - OMG - TWO KIDS on the spectrum!!!! Though actually with my son, they don't know how to diagnose him - so they just gave him that DX - he really has more working memory issues and his IQ is on the low side! So - moving from my past - I think I did very well overcoming my mother and childhood stuff... I did very well with moving up the corporate ladder, and I did well early in the childhood raising area.... My weight gains - major weight gains started when trouble hit my perfect little life! I turned to food (and alcohol - though I wouldn't call myself an alcoholic) to solve my problems - to comfort me! Food was the one staple that was there - no matter what - I could count on a drive-thru... I could count on a good sushi meal (I mean like $50 - $60 of sushi for me alone)... I could count on a bottle of wine! I can see the crisis that hit - I can see how I used food - but what I don't know yet, is how will I overcome the "next" crisis?????? More to come as I figure out this journey! Look for my scary boss story coming next - this is when I hit the top of the scales!!!

Just like most people, I have been plagued with weight issues my whole life - starting at a very early age, I swear I could look at food and gain weight!!! Starting with childhood, my mother was very "on top" of this "issue", and did things like making dinner for the whole family, and then serving me a "lean cuisine". I remember spending my summers with my grandparents in Florida (wonderful memories), and coming back to my parents with my mom FURIOUS at my grandmother for the weight I put on (usually between 7 and 10 lbs). I was active the whole summer (swimming, tennis, water skiing), but I also got to have ice cream EVERY NIGHT as a treat :-)! When I was in high school, I weighed a whopping 105 lbs... I was thin... but I thought I was fat because of my lifelong (so far) drama with food (and my mother). But.... I was only thin because I was active... my mother made sure of that! I was on the tennis team, I was on the dance team (despite my "Elaine" like abilities), and my mother put me through multiple "boot camps" every summer... yes I was thin... but at 16, my cholesterol was 220+.... why? Because I ate crap when away from my mother's watchful eye... I ate candy (even hid it under my bed), I ate anything that wasn't green (no salads - ever!)... we had off-campus lunch in high school - so I had Sonic, pizza, sub sandwiches, and I did dabble in drinking on the weekends with my buddies (shhh... don't tell my mother). My mom - super skinny (even when she was pregnant with me, she only gained 15 lbs), would get up at 4:30 am to run - she was a marathon runner, aerobics dance guru, tennis player, etc etc... she had soooo much energy (still does - ugh)... she would wake me up at 6:30 (even on weekends) to "start my day". I had to mow the lawn, clean my room - basically anything but sit or sleep! Note - by little brother NEVER mowed the lawn - not once (he is super skinny - always has been - and they didn't want to make him tired for his baseball games - WHATEVER)!! So, it is no wonder, that when I left for college (left the state no doubt), I had NO skills for eating correctly... AND I was out of my mother's watchful eye.. I didn't have to exercise.... I didn't have to be accountable for what was on the scale! As I grew, so did my friends, so there were plenty of "hand me downs" to grow into - clothes weren't an issue! Bring on the Freshman 15 (or 20)!! So, there it started - age 17 (I was very young going to college) - my downhill spiral to weight gain! Enter early 20's - so I was "sort of thin" - I was around 140ish - size 10ish (I'm 5'3" by the way).... I had boyfriends, I entered into the job market (working for a top company) in a size 6... and BIG bows in my hair (I grew up in Dallas, what can I say?)....I went up and down in my 20's - until I was about 26.... I went on PHEN-PHEN!!! I was about 140ish and got down to 110!!! I looked HOT!!! I loved phen-phen meds - I didn't want to eat - food was disgusting to me, and I was full all the time. I ate 600 calories a day, lost alot of hair (I have really thick hair thankfully - but still!!!)... and I had more boyfriends then I knew what to do with... So I know what you are saying... phen-phen at 140? really? Well - it worked for me - and remember - I was "fat" at 105 to my mother - and now as a young adult - to me too!! 140 - 150 - OMG - FATTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!! (funny to me now - I dream of 140)! Move on to age 28 - getting married at 130 lbs - size 8ish - looked good for wedding.... then started the weight train gain!!! Fast forward 2 kids later...and in Jan 2012 - I weighed in at my highest 259.6 lbs!!!!!! Here begins the journey.... the real journey!!! So - was my mother right to restrict my foods? Was she right to get me moving all the time? Was she right in making me feel fat (even at a size 0 - 2)? I don't know!! REALLY!!! I have gone back and forth with this question... sometimes I like to BLAME her for my weight issues - I mean it is soooo easy to, right?.... but then again, she was trying to set boundaries and keep me from being the kid people picked on, keep me from the fat kid issues, keep me healthy ... she was trying!! and I am the one that CHOSE to break the rules - right? See, it isn't so easy to decide who is to blame now is it? I think as I write this - I am going to have to start accepting my own actions - hold myself accountable - even for what I did wayyyyy back then (I'm 43 now).... I am going to have to grow up and realize - it is all ME - and it is ME that got ME into this... and it is ME that will get me out of it!! My blog is intended for me to self-reflect, document how I feel now that I have been sleeved, and understand who and what I am. I hope you too will find some inspiration in my documentation - but I honestly am doing this for ME (for a change)! For the first time ever, I am putting ME first (though some of my friends would laugh at that statement "It's all about me" has been a "motto" thrown around about me sometimes)... but I mean putting ME and my love/hate relationship with food, weight, and even my mother at rest - understanding my triggers, understanding who I am and want to be the rest of my life (now that I'm a grown up)!

mine said 6 months before alcohol - but I agree with cataro - empty calories - not sure if I'm willing to use up my stomach for that - maybe when I hit my goal weight?!?!

I was approved within 4 days - but I found out who my case manager was, got to know her, and knew before my surgeon

Carnation Instant SF shakes... AND I love this shake - gets in Protein, veggies and fruit :-) beware - it makes alot - so I cut the recipe down as much as possible: 1/2 c frozen blueberries (I use fresh) 1c frozen strawberries 2 c frozen kale or spinach (I use fresh) 2 scoops vanilla Protein powder 2 c Water Blend and enjoy!

Congratulations!!!! Looking forward to following in your footsteps one day! Nice work!

ask for more or different pain meds for sure!! Morphine made me sick - so I switched to hydrocondone - and I took it every 3 - 4 hours to stay ahead of the pain.... there is another side - you will be there in a couple of days....hang in there

why don't you try carnation instant breakfast (sugar free) for your protein... and no - you shouldn't have that oatmeal the day before surgery - it should be all clear liquids....

well - I am post surgery now (hernia repaired too) - and didn't have acid reflux before (at least the symptoms) - but I do now.... they have put me on a medicine that I take now - but they said it goes away after a while - it is the new stomach getting used to everything.... but it may not go away - some people it doesn't - so the verdict is still out....

FREEZING!!! right now covered up in big fluffy robe, slippers and blanket and still cold!!!

Just came back from my one-week post-op doc visit! All is good! I'm down 10 lbs from day of surgery!! I have had no issues to really complain about - been pretty smooth sailing all things considered! The only odd thing, is that they still won't let me drive for another week or 2... I"m not even on pain meds anymore... they said it is because of the anethesia! Anyone else experience this?

Congrats!!! I can't wait to experience that same feeling!! Way to go!

Good luck - we'll see you on the other side :-)!

oh yes - and to add to the above... WALK :-)!!! Good luck - it gets better in a day or so!

This is a great discussion... I have told my husband, my bff, and my boss - that's it... I too didn't want any negative support, and I know that my parents would not be any support at all. As for the rest, and my new eating habits - some I have told that I had to have hernia surgery (which is true, I had a Hiatal hernia that was repaired with ONE STITCH LOL!!! during my VSG)! This seems to have those that I told understand why I am eating differently. I have a big challenge at the beginning of Feb.... my husband's 50th bday party with his whole family. Easy to say I'm the designated driver for that, but not so easy to understand why I'm having protein shakes, while they munch on the catered foods I have. I am also concerned about the "big hugs" I will get from his family... OUCH!!!!

I was sleeved on 8th - started purees today - yay! I don't see my bariatric surgeon for a month, but see my PCP (who is an internist and not bariatric) tomorrow. I have been doing laps around my house - walking that is - but don't know when I can be cleared to start walking down stairs and starting the treadmill. Does anyone know how much time you should give after surgery before a "real" exercise program? I am walking - but not to the extent I would call exercise - it is just "movement" at this point - often! Also - anything else I should ask my PCP about? Driving? meds? Just want to make sure I'm covering what a normal post-op visit would entail.

I bet your body is still swollen and you still have all the gunk left over from surgery..... continue to follow the script - I bet you will see it soon!

Wishing all the surgeries tomorrow speedy recoveries! Prayers with you all!

43 here - just turned 43 in Dec - then was sleeved on Jan 8th! Anyone in 40's from ATL area?

JeffA70 - wow - only 2 oz 3x/day? I am day 5 and 24-32 oz of clear liquids and 24 - 32 oz of full liquids right now - find I'm getting in the 32 oz full liquids now (i.e. 4 protein shakes) and probably 24 of clear liquids. I agree with you that it is easier to get fluids down now (and concerning at the same time)! Funny how different docs do different things with our post-ops! I haven't strayed from protein (i.e. carnation instant breakfast SF choc. shake) during this full stage - it's the only way I can get the protein in!!! I go to purees on Tuesday - so looks like we may both be in that stage together! Good luck at doc tomorrow. I see my pcp on Thursday, but don't see the surgeon for a month!

do you have prescription nausea and/or antiacid meds from your doc? This helps ALOT!!!

I was able to get all my protein in and most of my water in yesterday... it was WORK... but here is how I did it.... Starting at 8am... one hour to finish protein shake, waited 30 minutes, then took an hour to do 4 oz water, waited one hour, then did another protein shake, waited 30 mins, then did an hour for 4 oz water, waited another 1/2 hour then did another 4 oz water over an hour; ended up with a nap, woke up to another protein shake over an hour to finish, waited 1/2 hour then 4 oz water over an hour... see the pattern... I certainly didn't want to finish my day with another protein shake last night - but I did it!!! It is a full time job drinking all day for sure! Good luck!

Hello Hannah - I had my surgery on Jan 8th. My incision spot - the long one - I have 4... is very sore too! My doc told me that walking and moving is the best way to get rid of the soreness... so keep on moving! I'm sorry you had the issues you did! I am still so swollen all over - and bloated.... trying very hard to get in the protein drinks and water... that seems to be all I do all day long now :-)... walk and sip and sip and walk :-)! Good luck and let's keep in touch to look how our progress is doing together!

I went into my sleeve with a cold... they told me I could take zyrtec the nights leading up to the surgery... ultimately, it was up to the radiologist if he would do it or not - and he did... cold and all... so I would just go in as scheduled and see if they will still do it....

Ahhhhhh shower!!! I feel sooooo much better now. I had to wait to take my last tubes out - which I did at midnight because they were leaking so bad! I feel great today - day 4 post-op! I am a little sore and wasn't able to get all my Protein in yesterday... but making a huge effort to get it all in today! My kidneys are sore - anyone else experiencing that? I don't know if it's because of lying on my back so much or because I haven't gone number 2 yet (I'm not constipated that I know of)....I will walk even more today to see if I can get the kinks out - and I walked alot yesterday!!! Glad to hear the 8th sleevers are doing so well!!! Let's get this done!! :-)!!!!