vinesqueen

Now you are getting it! I'm so proud of all y'all! The only time I've been really uncomfortable with my weight was walking into a gym class where the room is filled with skinny minnies and all the walls are lined with mirrors. But funny, hmm, dance classes never made me feel this way. Hmmm. Anyway, I suppose because when I was 18, I accepted that I would probably be fat my entire life. My mother was/is MO and she was always desperately dieting but never successful. Well, except for at my biggest, because that was when I was sickest with my asthma, strangers have always complemented me on my hair, or something about me. Perhaps it is because of the rule of three, what you put out you get back threefold. You see, I try to give three complements to strangers, complents from the heart. But I have noticed that because I'm not so sick, because I feel like "me" men flirt with me, folks hold the door for me, and women complent my hair. I really am so proud of you guys! Now you are starting to understand!

oh exactly Leatha, exactly. I was diagnosed with fybromyalgia, and there are days when I run out of spoons, but I make sure I hold the spoons.

The spoon theory is what one woman came up with to describe what it's like living with Lupis. http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/2004/11/the_spoon_theory.php I don't have Lupis, but I do have cronic fatague. I sort of thought everyone one felt like this, that they had a limited amount of things they could accomplish in a day. Her theory broght me to tears, I guess mainly because she is telling my story on one level.

this is very interesting. Not sure why, but I'll have to think about it. My friends are always surprised when I feed them something delish... I mean really! Do I look like I eat bad food?

this is what I decided to do about being a turtle. I'm not sure I got the answer I was looking for, but beggers can't be choosers. Except I am. I started screaming, yelling, crying. I demanded that I be heard, because what I am experineceing isn't "right". Notice I didn't say fair. My mother's words "you are only given a ticket at birth that says 'admit one' it doesn't say anything about being fair" ring in my ears. For a crazy woman, she makes sense sometimes

Hi ShavieLou, well, I'm not Christian, but I have studied it. I've looked at joining several sects from Baptist to Mormon. I think this is a very interesting question you pose. I suppose one has to figure out if your God is Vengful or merciful, leaning more old testiment or new? Different churches have different view, and I don't think there is ONE Christian view, all views are just as valid as any other. There are some that say that everything comes from the Devine, that new inventions are guided by the Unseen Hand. So. I would like to change your question slightly. Instead of asking about WLS, ask about glasses or Lasik surgery. Perhaps I'm nearsighted because I'm supposed to do more intraspection, to pay attention to things close to me. By using corrective lenses, am I thwarting the will of the Devine? This reminds me of the old joke where the man is in the middle of a huge storm, raging flood waters. The TV reports tell people to leave the area, but the man knows that he's protected by god. State Troopers come and try to evacutate him, but the man knows that he's protected by god. The flood waters rise and he's forced to his rooftop. A progression of boats come by offering to resuce him, but each time he turns them down because the man knows that he's protected by god. Finally, a helicoper comes but the man refuses to get in. So he drownds. At the pearly gates he's met by St. Peter, and the man rants and rails about not being saved, about not being protected. St. Peter looks at the man as says, "Look, God send the TV News, the State Troopers, 5 boats and a helicoperter, what more did you expect." I think WLS is one of the boats, or maybe the helicopter.

happy bandiversary! Okay, your turn, what are your top 10 NSVs for the year?

I've had this happen once or twice, but for future reference, make sure you use a good anti-bacterial soap on you face after your next treatment. And I would say that depending on how bad you've broken out, a little bacitracion before you go to bed wouldn't hurt, that's what I do when I have tis happen.

Hello Turtles, my dear sweet Turtles. I just wanted to do a quick role call because I feel like I'm missing some of my Tribe. I know that I'm feeling very discouraged, and I am sure that other turtles are as well. What with the holiday's being over, and the January doledrums setting in. I know that we can get through this together. I just know it.

I'm in such a weird place myself. It's hard for me right now. I want to pitch the biggest fit, but I know that it won't be productive. I know that I need to be supportive of our rabbits, but right not I don't want to hear about their successes. I know I'm being petty and small, but I guess I'll have to be petty and small for a while. I think we need a Turtle Role call. I'll start a new thread. I miss live2canoe and Candy, where are you two?

Congrats Penni! I've never had a new car either, but once I finish school and go back to work I get one! Woot! Sounds like you had a blast last night!

I don't know if "crave" is the right word for me. When I was preggers I craved green salad olives, I would eat a cup at a sitting. I would crave the brine they come in, so I'd drink it. Lucky for me I never had a problem with high blood pressure! But I still long for the same foods I've always wanted. I want a sandwich. I want a sub with ham and roast beef and turky, and cheese and walk that sucker through the garden! I want a pepper turkey sandwith with pepperjack cheese, and walk that sucker through the garden. I still want pizza and cheese burgers. I want salty things occasionally and I want chocolate occasionally. None of these foods are "bad" I think the only bad food is one that has spoilded and will give someone food poisoning. Food is not my enemy.

One of my dearest friends is afraid of ..... kittens! Cute little furry bundles of love, she's afraid of them.

now it's official! You ARE a bandster!

I'm a middle child. If I wanted attention, or at least positive attention, I had to figure out some way to draw that attention to myself.

1/27/06 I feel like this all make sense, like I've been working with a jigsaw puzzle with out the box, blindfolded. The more I read about this, the more it is just an ah-HAH! I figure I'll just track my cushing's stuff here, just to keep it in one place. This is what I posted on 1/24: Well, I have a tentative diagnosis. The interist thinks it is very likely that I have cushing's syndrome. So, I go for a new round of tests Friday to find out what kind I have, so i can start a treatment plan. I'm in a weird place. This sort of makes it real, but yet not real. I don't want to go to work, but well, I have to. I just want to go to bed and sleep, which is what I usually do when depressed. I thought I'd be happy with an answer, but I have a head ache. My DH reminds me that it is only a tentative dignosis, even if it makes sense. Cushing's Syndrom http://www.niddk.nih.gov/health/endo...s/cushings.htm Cushing's syndrome is a hormonal disorder caused by prolonged exposure of the body's tissues to high levels of the hormone cortisol. Sometimes called "hypercortisolism," it is relatively rare and most commonly affects adults aged 20 to 50. An estimated 10 to 15 of every million people are affected each year. ... Treatment depends on the specific reason for cortisol excess and may include surgery, radiation, chemotherapy or the use of cortisol-inhibiting drugs. If the cause is long-term use of glucocorticoid hormones to treat another disorder, the doctor will gradually reduce the dosage to the lowest dose adequate for control of that disorder. Once control is established, the daily dose of glucocorticoid hormones may be doubled and given on alternate days to lessen side effects. *** So, I've had a few days to get used to this. Funny. Right now I'm not scared of this at all. I could have a brain tumor, and I'm not scared. I'm not stressed, I'm not freaked out, well not very freaked out anyway. Weird, weird, weird. I guess part of it is that now that I have a name, or even might have a name, it isn't scary. It's like in Fantasy, you never give your true name to the bad guys, and once you have the true name of a demon you own it. You control it, and it has no power over you. I sort of feel like I have it's name. This thing that has prevented me from the weightloss success I so desperately crave. I called my sister last night. Under pain of never speaking to her again (I know, an empty threat) I made her promice that she wouldn't tell our mother. I just really can't deal with my mother having to come up with her own rare-and-potentially-deadly-but-very-treatable disease just so she gets all the attention. I didn't tell her that it was potentially deadly, but that it was rare and treatable. No sence causing her stress where she doesn't need it. She said she couldn't deal with our mom needing another new rare-and-potentially-deadly-but-very-treatable disease either. Today I had more blood work done because that's what they do, more blood work. I was able to get my appointment moved up a week, so I'll see the internist next week instead of in two weeks. 3 days is easier than 10 days. **** I have to admit that I'm afraid that they won't be able to do anything to help me. That I'll be fat forever. That there will be nothing that they can do, and I'll just have to live as a failure. I try so hard to not read about other people successes. I know that makes me so very shallow. But I can't help it, I feel so miserable when I read about how someone with a lower starting BMI has lost 75 pounds in the time I've gained and lost the same 5 pounds. I feel bad that I can't share in their joy, that I can't celibrate with them,

1/27/06 I feel like this all make sense, like I've been working with a jigsaw puzzle with out the box, blindfolded. The more I read about this, the more it is just an ah-HAH! I figure I'll just track my cushing's stuff here, just to keep it in one place. This is what I posted on 1/24: Well, I have a tentative diagnosis. The interist thinks it is very likely that I have cushing's syndrome. So, I go for a new round of tests Friday to find out what kind I have, so i can start a treatment plan. I'm in a weird place. This sort of makes it real, but yet not real. I don't want to go to work, but well, I have to. I just want to go to bed and sleep, which is what I usually do when depressed. I thought I'd be happy with an answer, but I have a head ache. My DH reminds me that it is only a tentative dignosis, even if it makes sense. Cushing's Syndrom http://www.niddk.nih.gov/health/endo...s/cushings.htm Cushing's syndrome is a hormonal disorder caused by prolonged exposure of the body's tissues to high levels of the hormone cortisol. Sometimes called "hypercortisolism," it is relatively rare and most commonly affects adults aged 20 to 50. An estimated 10 to 15 of every million people are affected each year. ... Treatment depends on the specific reason for cortisol excess and may include surgery, radiation, chemotherapy or the use of cortisol-inhibiting drugs. If the cause is long-term use of glucocorticoid hormones to treat another disorder, the doctor will gradually reduce the dosage to the lowest dose adequate for control of that disorder. Once control is established, the daily dose of glucocorticoid hormones may be doubled and given on alternate days to lessen side effects. *** So, I've had a few days to get used to this. Funny. Right now I'm not scared of this at all. I could have a brain tumor, and I'm not scared. I'm not stressed, I'm not freaked out, well not very freaked out anyway. Weird, weird, weird. I guess part of it is that now that I have a name, or even might have a name, it isn't scary. It's like in Fantasy, you never give your true name to the bad guys, and once you have the true name of a demon you own it. You control it, and it has no power over you. I sort of feel like I have it's name. This thing that has prevented me from the weightloss success I so desperately crave. I called my sister last night. Under pain of never speaking to her again (I know, an empty threat) I made her promice that she wouldn't tell our mother. I just really can't deal with my mother having to come up with her own rare-and-potentially-deadly-but-very-treatable disease just so she gets all the attention. I didn't tell her that it was potentially deadly, but that it was rare and treatable. No sence causing her stress where she doesn't need it. She said she couldn't deal with our mom needing another new rare-and-potentially-deadly-but-very-treatable disease either. Today I had more blood work done because that's what they do, more blood work. I was able to get my appointment moved up a week, so I'll see the internist next week instead of in two weeks. 3 days is easier than 10 days. **** I have to admit that I'm afraid that they won't be able to do anything to help me. That I'll be fat forever. That there will be nothing that they can do, and I'll just have to live as a failure. I try so hard to not read about other people successes. I know that makes me so very shallow. But I can't help it, I feel so miserable when I read about how someone with a lower starting BMI has lost 75 pounds in the time I've gained and lost the same 5 pounds. I feel bad that I can't share in their joy, that I can't celibrate with them,

Francesca honey, you come to my house and we will both rail at the world!

Thank you for starting this Thread! (althought i have to admit when I first read it I thought you said "daughter" so I was a little freaked out. My sparkling personality has nothing to do with my size. Absolutely nothing to do with it. Usually my self depricating humor comes at what I've done, not what I look like. Sometimes I wonder if we ar fatter because we take a bigger bight out of life. I have a great appitite for life, and I sometimes feel that I am more passionate about things around me than others. My life's work isn't a job, it is my passion. Maybe I take a bigger bite out of life than skinny people... I don't know. I did lose my sense of humor once when I was a young woman. The greatest gift I ever recieved was getting that back, and I will always love the man that helped me find it again. I will sparkle all the brighter when I lose all this extra weight because there will be nothing to hold me back. Better get your sunglasses ready now.

flocks of birds at night. Gives me chills just thinking about it. Focks of ravens or crows at night...

I went and had more blood work today. Now I have to wait until Tuesday for more answers. I was able to move the appointment up a week, so I'm happy about that

it might be that you are sensitive to the chemicals in the artifical sweateners I don't seem to have a sensitiveity to splenda in that it makes me want to eat the house, but I try to limit my artifical sweeteners. As for your question if honey will make you go wild, the only thing I can tell you is to try it, but be mindful of what you are doing. Use the honey to sweeten whatever it is you were going to sweeten, but then watch your behaviour, what how you feel and act. It might be that you are fine with honey, it might not. Oh, one more thing. For this experiment, do NOT have anything with protien or fat, because they will stay in your system longer and help cut a spike. Because what you are looking for is a wild spike. Honey doesn't do this to me, but give me some corn, and watch out! Corn sweetener is the worst. But because I know what corn does to me, I take care when I choose to have it. I always make sure that I have some protien and fat when I have corn. Because it will stay in my system longer than the wild spike and help even out my hunger.

Well, a week after my banding I was in the ER having an emergency D&C. I got out of whack and stayed that way. I finally had to have a uterien ablation in July to take care of it. Hugs to her, hope she's feeling better!

Correction, you need an Amazon sized. Amazons are sexy. Well, Lumberjacks are sexy too, but in a differet, hairier sort of way.

I'd get a small unfill. There is no point in being too tight. The point of the band is not surgical bulima. Be kind to yourself