No game

Its part of what makes him unique and unstoppable.. He will accomplish big things. Shit he already has.. Lol I don't know half of what that kid is talking about most times He can get bogged down in the details sometimes and at age 11 sometimes puts to much pressure on himself to produce (produce what I do not know) and invent. I get him though, with his obsessive thought process. I sometimes feel paralyzed in my thoughts and behaviors..

You'd be surprised how prevalent it is.. We were lucky in the sense he had a very quick diagnosis. And usually comes with "co-morbids" Like OCD Or ADHD.. His neurologist told us years ago the OCD would most likely be the the thing that needs medication over the Tourette's.. He actually isn't medicated at the moment. He mostly just has complicated body movements. He has an ability to mask them a bit at school but let's them down when he comes home. For the most part that is.. He does have weeks when they are just bad. The medication changes him and he doesn't like it.. He is a awesome unique kid. Don't get me started I can wax poetic about him for days!!

I will cry with you. And we both will be ok

Medications! Yes.. I have the worst relationship with those. I take them.. And I kinda stop and or "forget" sometimes... That's a whole new thread.. My thought process about that

I said that because some days I have felt like my problems with food are not the "norm" around here. I guess I needed to step back and see the big picture here. Not everyone here has "food issues" As a matter of fact a lot of people here just plain old said to me "nope, I just ate big portions, and or bad food that's all" No underlying issues (as I assumed wrongly) We are all different people, different weights, different reasons for this surgery... For every person that is like me there are twenty that are not.. I guess I said "fucked" because I was jealous of the ones that just had bad nutrition.. I cannot claim that particular ignorance. Oh well, so much for the neat boxes..

Lol welcome to my crazy!! My son has OCD also.. And Tourette's it's actually the OCD that can be more debilitating most times for him.

Lol @skinny I'm checking my hot coco packs now!!

At least a year yes.. I have mentioned this to Alex recently. I hate to be bitchy about it but Butter mentioned that most of us girls stick to the 5:2 group these days.. And not the vets forum. But now that the flood gates have been open to anyone posting it's not the same. Lol yes I'm pmsing too But I stand by my words

Must go and live life today.. Including getting blood tests to show everything is good and in track But I wanted to put this out there.. This is me. I'm doing well, but this is me I have OCD and it may make things a little more challenging at times.. Thank you for indulging me Compulsive overeating, also sometimes called food addiction, is characterized by the compulsive eating of food. Professionals address this with either a behavior therapy model or a food-addiction model.[1] An individual suffering from compulsive overeating engages in frequent episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binge eating, during which she or he may feel frenzied or out of control, often consuming food past the point of being comfortably full. Bingeing in this way is generally followed by feelings of guilt and depression. Unlike individuals with bulimia, compulsive overeaters do not attempt to compensate for their bingeing with purging behaviors such as fasting, laxative use, or vomiting. Compulsive overeaters will typically eat when they are not hungry. Their obsession is demonstrated in that they spend excessive amounts of time and thought devoted to food, and secretly plan or fantasize about eating alone. Compulsive overeating usually leads to weight gain and obesity, but is not the only cause of obesity. While compulsive overeaters tend to be overweight or obese, persons of normal or average weight can also be affected. In addition to binge eating, compulsive overeaters can also engage in grazing behavior, during which they return to pick at food throughout the day. These things result in a large overall number of calories consumed even if the quantities eaten at any one time may be small. When a compulsive eater overeats primarily through bingeing, he or she can be said to have binge eating disorder. Signs and symptoms Binge eating, or eating uncontrollably even when not physically hungry Eating much more rapidly than normal Eating alone due to shame and embarrassment Feelings of guilt due to overeating Preoccupation with body weight Depression or mood swings Awareness that eating patterns are abnormal Rapid weight gain or sudden onset of obesity Significantly decreased mobility due to weight gain History of weight fluctuations Withdrawal from activities because of embarrassment about weight History of many different unsuccessful diets Eating little in public, but maintaining a high body weight Very low self-esteem and feeling need to eat greater and greater amounts. Addiction During binges, compulsive overeaters may consume from 5,000 to 15,000 food calories daily, resulting in a temporary release from psychological stress through an addictive high not unlike that experienced through drug abuse. In bulimics, this high may be intensified by the act of purging. Researchers have speculated there is an abnormality of endorphin metabolism in the brain of binge eaters that triggers the addictive process. This is in line with other theories of addiction that attribute it not to avoidance of withdrawal symptoms, but to a primary problem in the reward centers of the brain. For the compulsive overeater, the ingestion of trigger foods causes release of the neurotransmitter, serotonin. This could be another sign of neurobiological factors contributing to the addictive process. Abstinence from addictive food and food eating processes causes withdrawal symptoms in those with eating disorders. There may be higher levels of depression and anxiety due to the decreased levels of serotonin in the individual.[2] There are complexities with the biology of compulsive eating that separate it from a pure substance abuse analogy. Food is a complex mixture of chemicals that can affect the body in multiple ways, which is magnified by stomach-brain communication. In some ways, it may be much more difficult for compulsive overeaters to recover than drug addicts. There is an anecdotal saying among Overeaters Anonymous members that "when you are addicted to drugs you put the tiger in the cage to recover; when you are addicted to food you put the tiger in the cage, but take it out three times a day for a walk."[2] The physical explanation of compulsive overeating may be attributed to an overeaters' increased tendency to secrete insulin at the sight and smell of food, though medical evidence supporting this is controversial.[3] Research has found a link between the sugar and fat content of foods and bingeing behaviors.[4]

My life, the one that got me here, sometimes it doesn't even seem like it could of been a reality.. The only other witness to it my brother didn't make it. But we have created a new life (you and I) complete with husbands and children! Lol if you would of told me back then this would be my future? I would of laughed in your face. In fact my brother when I was pregnant with my daughter told me we should not pass down our genes we are doomed and should let the bloodline die out. I bet your children are pretty "normal" as are mine that is our love, our ability to be vulnerable and let others in, shining through. It gives me hope.. Which I need in the dark hours that still can creep in from time to time.

"Present" Another really big word..hurdle..

"Between pain and nothing, I would choose pain." I want to have joy, even if it means some pain. It's so much better than nothing... Vulnerability.. I want to feel, I want to not just have my walls up and survive. I want to let it out, and let others in. That means being open which means a certain amount of vulnerability. Not to those that hurt me in the past, there is no bond there.. nothing to fix with that person(s).

RJ, You are a strong woman, I've always suspected that by just seeing the strength and grace you have exhibited while going through the hardships of this surgery... After reading your background I realize your strength is born from adversity and survival.. We are survivalists in the truest sense. As you said, our siblings are or were scarred in different ways yes? As my brother was.. In his death, I realized my strength, my ability to survive. I'm looking forward to the days ahead of not just surviving and being strong, but having joy. Joy and vulnerability..

Blurry vision after this surgery is not uncommon The after affects of the anesthesia, some pain meds and especially the anti nausea meds. In particular the anti nausea Patches. Let your doctor know your concerns though

Believing in myself... That's one I'm having trouble with. The vets forum.. It used to be vets.. But not anymore.

Ack I can't read this yet!! I went to bed at 7 yesterday (wasn't feeling well) I will watch tonight and come back and read and contribute damn I feel the withdraws already!

First off good luck tomorrow:) I know some may think I can bring down the fun and games somedays but the reality is that honesty helps pave the way.. For yourself and others... "Normal" funny word really what is my idea of normal? Lol it's not me (no I'm not special) I realize I'm here with a bunch of people that were just a little "obese" and don't have the issues I have.. But last night I got to thinking.. There are a LOT of people here that struggle with their food demons before this surgery. And those demons do not magically disappear after. I'm in transition. I am further out. Six months was a transition too. I thought that was the major one. But I'm realizing it's just the first one. Oh **** this this sounds so doom and gloom and it's not. It's just reality. It's my reality. I am "healthy" I am smaller.. I am a lot of things

Thinking of you this morning I hope that in the coming days we will share threads and get to know each other.

I don't know...maybe I need to just drink the Kool-aid and post some before and after pics and say "yeah me! I'm beautiful, skinny and cured!!"

I think I'm feeling burnt out on spreading my insecurities and weaknesses today.. I feel like a person so different from the rest lately Such deeper more fucked up reasons for being obese than the average joe. While you were writing this post I was just saying I think I'm fucked. I am alone in my "fuckedness" I am more fucked than this site can handle.. Yes one of those days I guess..

Revs,

I think I love you today:) We all need more of "one of those days" Truly my "want" to be here is on life support right now. My brain matter is scrambled into a superficial cluster of WLS dribble..

Revs, Thank you for a thought provoking thread

Lol wtf is a Pei Wei?? That's a new one to me.. Gods honest truth here.. And off topic a bit I have NEVER been to a chilis, PF Changs, California pizza kitchen, macaroni grill. In my life... You would not of caught me dead in one of those places.. I went once with my Inlaws to Cheesecake Factory once for a celebration dinner, and I was deeply saddened by the whole thing. Everyone of those fat Americans in that place gleefully ordered up that crap and ate.. I ordered something it might of been a salad and I knew damn well it was a calorie, fat laden, heart attack on a dish... I cannot/could not claim ignorance to nutritional values.. I am coming to realize I am different. Fucked up in very different ways.. I am a fat girl without an island.... I was morbidly obese but it happened in much more insidious ways.. I think I might be fucked.

You are right.. YOU CAN SUCCEED food funerals.. When I knew I had a date I went to the store before my pre op diet. I picked up a pint of some kind of ice cream (can't even remember the flavor how sad) went home and ate.. After I ate it?? Nothing, it was just gone it didn't feel special it didn't make me feel better, in fact it did nothing for me except make me feel crappier about myself and add more weight to lose! So yes, don't sabotage yourself with thoughts of "I need to eat this now because I can never have it again"