No game

Just out of curiosiy, Laura, what's ur bmi? U look perfect. Like u don't need to lose 1 more lb! Wow.You've done fantastic! U deserve the kudos from ur dr! How much more do u want to lose? U need to put up a ticker girl!

Ugh my ticker must of vanished again I just put it back up so hopefully it shows up..

But here's a screen shot..

Lol yes I'm Laura

Here this is what I started today...

 

 

5:2 girls

 

Skinniness= dorrie

Feedyoureye= Kim

Sarsar = Sarah

MG2= Sheila

Ccjane = Sheryl

Georgia = Georgia

Uk Cathy = Cathy

Swizzly =

Brown=

Globe=

Susan= Susan

Haha! Kim (Fye) I started making a list of them today too!! And I thought the same thing what's globe??

Lol! Good! You know I went into this wanting to be healthy (check) and with the realistic wish to look good in clothes (check) we need to remember what our goals were.. Also as I was thinking on it just now I thought of changing my goal weight on my ticker from 135 to 140..

But I realized that scared me too, because well, first thought was awesome almost there!! second was scared because of all those old goals I've meet before in diets. I'm all to aware taking off was one thing keeping it is another.

I've always ended a diet and well.. ate like "normal" because the diet was over!! Yep.. Part of me just wants to live in this limbo to keep me on my toes!

 

Oh 5:2 day! Wow keeping busy helps. I didn't get home until 2:45 so I took my first meal then.

Yogurt.. I'm going to be swimming in calories for dinner!!

I don't know what it is... I know I was talking to my husband the other day and well I said I'm just a smaller version of the same Laura. So I think we see the same basic shape (because let's face it none of us morphed into a different body type like say a super model ) and we see the same things the same potential for those things to be bigger or perhaps they still just look bigger because they are the same shape...,

Lol did any of that make sense

I have to say it again... Sarsar! You are tiny!!!'

Susan, the re-sleeve I've done a lot of reading here on the forum and the one thing that I notice is that sometimes band to sleeve revisions to seem to have as much restriction as a virgin sleeve? Maybe Jane you can speak to that..

M2G,

Ugh two girls sick no fun.. My son is 11 I noticed this girl make a bee line for him last month at the thanksgiving feast... Then I saw her again at his side chatting him up at honor roll.. I ask him about her and said I think she likes you. He said I was crazy hehehe.. But then came home and said I was right hence the new clothes.

Now 11 is young for girlfriends but when you kid has Tourette's.... Well they are treated different

 

 

 

Oh and size five fingers??? OMG that's small!

Oh and thank you guys for the compliments yes looking in that store mirror I wasn't upset and that feels good

Oh yes coops I love the green of that sweater too!

Cathy, I'm sorry your going through back pain. I think that the worse kind of pain there is there just seems to be no relief

 

Sarsar!! Look at you !!!!!! Tiny and cute

 

Oh I'm an old mom I had them much later..

So once we are visible, what happens next? I have just had my first truly negative experience because someone said something innocent - but it has triggered my head off in away I didn't expect... Someone complimented me on my weight loss and said I must be having fun shopping. I agreed and said I had now thrown out 27 bags of clothes over the last 8 months ( :-( I know that's a ridiculous amount!). Then she said "Are you so confident you won't need any of those clothes again and that you won't put weight back on?" I stood and gaped at her like a goldfish. Don't laugh at me, but I am so convinced that I won't be fat ever again after going through this, that I haven't even contemplated gaining weight. But what she said threw me and made me feel naive and, frankly, stupid. How can I have come this far and not thought that??? So having hit reality head on, can I go back in my bubble? Life has got in the way in the whole time I have been sleeved but I have done my best to pick myself up, dust myself down and move on. So why am I dwelling on this?

Indigo!

I'm In line at Costco.. But just read this and visibly gasped out loud.

That person lacks a brain and tact!

Move on and spend your energy on someone who counts!

How did I feel on the second day?? Like dog poop! really the first week or two was in and off feeling bad.. Is think I felt good go to the store and breakout in a cold sweat and need to run (shuffle) to the bathroom and then go home..

Treat yourself well, get rest if you need to and good luck to you on the rest of your new healthier life!!

This pic is more realistic..

I took it this weekend.. I took it because I took my son shopping because he has a girl!!!!!

He wanted to step up his game

Anyway I took it because in the past five years or so not only was clothes shopping for me a really depressing event but taking my kids shopping I would sometimes want to die..

I would be sitting either in a dressing room with them or like in this picture sitting outside waiting .

But there would always be a mirror involved. Sitting in front of those mirrors made me want to end it all...

In this picture I'm sitting in front of a mirror waiting and I see myself and I see normal

I was able to be present for my son when he came out. That is success

LV your scale lies to you! You are so skinny and I love your pic! You are also Miss Skinniness too! I will definitely get a pic really soon too...

No my camera lies!!

Really, after I took that picture I laughed because the perspective makes me look skinny..

trust me my husband too one of me a couple of weeks ago and I looked like a little troll

It's all angles.

So I thought shit I'll hold it out straight and take a full on on my thigh/stomach area (my problem area) SHIT! That looked good too! So I didn't post it to show "reality" I look so much different in life..

But hey then I thought the size of my body now makes it possible to take a good pic..

So I'll take that

Lol! Now I have..

♫ this little sleeve of mine, I'm going to let it shine. ♫ running through my head

What a great job you are doing! Christmas is going to be good this year.

OMG floating? I'm scared... If I take a bath it's bubble baths at night with candles so I've not been scared yet....

But, never, NEVER bend over naked in front of a mirror so you see a side view, while putting on lotion, trust me I've scared the crap out of myself doing that!

Alcohol is a diuretic so sometimes I weigh less after drinking.. But maybe you should track for a day or to to make sure you are eating enough.

Shit if I thought I was jipping myself out of food I'd change that in a hurry!

Oh yes Jane details on the dates (you too daisy) Like maybe we can see their profile pics so we can live vicariously through you! Lol! you have to give us old married people some thrills

Besides my husband, sleepytime tea is my best friend, Its the only way I can really get in all of my fluids. Love it!

I think that's the problem I'm having with fluids right now.. Winter.

I am very regimented. I drink my 32 oz poweraid zero a day then fill it again with Water and flavoring drops... done deal 64 oz and any other liquids I get through the day just put me in a better spot.

Well, winter I'm FREEZING! I don't want to drink my cold drinks so my whole tightly wound regiment is screwed up..

I'm drinking mostly hot teas now, but the measuring is not the same and I know I'm not getting in as much as needed because I can only drink so much tea in a day.

I think my liquid intake always fell off in the cold months so it definitely a chore to keep it up now..

Ok everything you didn't need to know about my drinking habits

I don't know how to say it other than just to say it.. Weeks ago I mentioned that we should close the group. I'm happy to have Susan here, and there may be one or two more super vets I see floating around that might be a good fit. But at this point that's about it for me.

Vetted, yes Kim. That's what I'm thinking..

 

Also when we went private it really "hid" our group so not many people even realize it exists here, for instance PDXman asked me the other day if we still exist because he looked everywhere for us. We do have threads on the vets forum helping out people that think they want to try it. They usually fall away after their first rush of excitement wears off. They lose a few pounds, then two weeks later no weight loss so they move on the the next "miracle".

 

Brown,

Hang on ok? The cookie thing? You just described me.. But the victory I see there? You not only didn't take them you spoke out loud about your disordered eating... That's a major thing to me, I expose the dirty underbelly of my addiction more and more these days to people and it's giving it less power. Keep talking trust me get it out.

Let's get through the holidays brown. I'm holding on for dear life, it's not pretty it's not perfect, but we will get through it.

 

Ok fasting today.. Oh and it's grocery day and costco day! Lol I'm a glutton for punishment

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I did not feel giddy...i felt horrified that I am being talked about or even noticed...The biggest thing I wanted to happen was for me to become invisible..No one staring at me or making fun of me or even men coming onto me because they thought I was maybe easy or desperate.... I really thought that once i lost some I would be lost in the crowd...But it is not to be.....And it is ruining my dreams of not being ever seen... I don't know maybe I am not making sense but it got me so upset that I ate crap all day.....grazed my way through the day and did not give a care...Now I feel lousy and like a failure again...Big or small...same issues, same outcome.....crap!

Well I will say, that the way that was said to you was stalker like. So I would be a little weirded out too.

But speaking of the invisible thing?

I've thought about that and really I was more visible when I was obese.. I thought I was hiding in plain site but the fact of the matter I was in plain site but not invisible.

I think that's why when I started losing weight I felt uncomfortable with compliments..

If they notice then crap! I wasn't hiding they still saw me and they saw me HUGE!!

Much more invisible now.. I blend in quite nicely as matter of fact..

RJ you fell into an old behavior for a minute but all is not lost. You are recognizing what got you there today.. now you can work on dealing with it differently.

Last night I went and picked up some new clothes....When I went into the store I told the clerk that I needed a new belt, mine was too big..She said what! What are you doing....I told her eating more Protein and watching what I eat and of course smaller portions... She said you lie..I said what? She said we all know your story around here and none of us can believe the transformation. I said what, I don't understand. 3 stores are owned by the same company and so they interchange employees all the time so they have all talked about me to each other..I just stared at her and could not believe my ears... She said how old are you anyway..I told her and she said I looked like I was 42...I laughed and said thanks but I can't give you a tip for that...She said seriously..You look fantastic...I don't remember you now but I have worked here 8 years and I cannot remember what you looked like before.....I told her that we used to talk a lot and she said she can not place me... I left the store with a new belt and a huge fear in my body...People are talking about me...People are waiting to see me...People are looking at me..People are making judgments about me. I just wanted to become invisible...No one would look at me because I was no longer morbidly obese..It does not seem to have happened.....I was scared! Now the reason I am posting this is because it sent me into a frenzy and I ate all day and did not care at all....I kept saying to my daughter..Why do people keep looking at me and expecting something extraordinary to appear before them..... I turned to food today as my comfort...No I could not eat a lot but I ate all the wrong things and I did not care....This was one of the reasons I put up my wall in the first place so that I would not get attention...unwanted attention... I am having so much trouble coming to grips with this new life sometimes and the fear and pain of the past thinking grabs a hold of me and squeezes until I feel sick....sick at heart too.... I wonder if I will ever kill the beast that keeps me going back and forth with self loathing and hatred. People even noticing me.....Sends me into a huge panic...I thought that I was ready for what ever came my way..But today showed me I am not ready...I am still struggling with my inward fears of tearing down those walls.... I always started to put weight back on when people started to make comments about how I looked...I am quite sure my head is not on straight!!!!

RJ, I've done the same thing so many times I go out on the world and get good feedback I'm giddy with happiness and I come home and stuff!

It took me many years to even recognize that one..I knew I ate to comfort but the joy or happy I look good eating confused me..

I'm having small victories with this one lately and it's a good feeling.

Yes we miss you...

Quit that stupid job! What kind of job doesn't let you check in here all day??

So happy for you that you have ARRIVED! Take that victory lap and enjoy it, sister, because you deserve it. I am also looking forward to my one year appointment, and I also want him to be pleased, though I'm not sure why. Our success is their success, so I suppose we have a common goal. Anyway, your selfie is proof that the number is just a number. You look great!

The thing is I just wanted to walk in there and step on that scale and be solidly in the 140's (with clothes on) I'm 149 so that means getting to at least 146 unclothed..

But the good part of that "blowing" your stupid goal? I Thought I'm going to at least look good You know the drill wearing the lightest clothes you can... Screw it! I layered up the wazoo. I've got two sweaters on, an undershirt heavy jeans my studded belt and a heavy necklace Stepped on my home scale and I read 153!!! Lol from 149 to that!!

I went to the doctors office and didn't even take my shoes off (you know every ounce counts)

Oh the doctors scale said 152 Note to self is scale takes off a pound at doctors. I'll remember that next time

I also consider myself a food addict. I think about food constantly, before and after the sleeve. I feel lonely with the sleeve, because I can't come home pop open the fridge and binge my head off. I want to just go through the drive through, or eat a normal dinner. I sometimes feel bad that I have to count Water intake or Protein. I feel blessed to have the opportunity to lose weight, but this is hard. I actually get mad when I feel full and I can't eat anymore, my head is screaming that I am still hungry, it's not enough!! I am scared that once I am able to eat, I will fail at this. I feel like the only thing stopping me from eating poorly is the fear of harming my sleeve. I am working on these issues, but it is difficult sometimes to come on here and see so many people absolutely love their sleeve and love their lives, like their road is really easy. I do love the sleeve, and I do love my life. But sometimes I just want to say THIS SUCKS, but I fear people will dog on me for that. I'm not ungrateful, I am frustrated and yes, whiny, and being a baby about stupid things. Thank you for your post, it's nice to know other people feel the sleeve can be all encompassing. Also, if one more of my co workers ask if I can have this or that yet (all bad foods), I am going to scream.

It can be hard yes.. I guess when I went into this I had an attitude that I was taking my free will away for awhile... And I needed that. I could not be trusted with food emotions and endless capacity.

I think it's hard for a lot of people the first few months. Weight loss aside you have to sit with your emotions, boredom, stress, without turning to food and that can be uncomfortable..

I'm glad you are getting help. It does go hand in hand, having the sleeve and seeking therapy for disordered eating.

I'd be lying if I said I have never had moments especially in the beginning that I wished I could put the sleeve away for awhile so I could pig out (binge) just for the sake of pigging out...

Points funny how we like to show ourselves off to our surgeon. I like being a success and I hope the docs are proud too. My daughter is having her surgery this Friday so I get to see my MX surgeon one year exactly from my surgery. I'm excited.. Plus hopefully it's warm down there compared to here

That's great! I'm sure your surgeon will be happy to see the progress, I bet they don't get to see it much with having most of their patients living out of country. Good luck to your daughter also!

no. Have to get it online though. http://www.dialyvite.net/ferrimin150.html Lynda

Thanks Lynda. I'm going to order it and start taking it and just start taking it.