Jen35

I haven't been on the site for several months. I went back and read this post and it's kind of surreal that I'm at goal now. I was sooo excited to be a size 14/16. I've come a long way since then and I'm now a size 8/10. What hit me (hard) is that I've lost this excitement that I had. I'm not sure why.
Maybe because I'm focussing so much on what I don't like about my body and less on my success. I have loose skin on my tummy and inner thighs, the girls have lost quite a bit of substance and perkiness (if you know what I mean). I'm so glad I had had surgery and lost the weight, but in the back of my mind I must have thought that I would have this rockin' body after I lost all the weight.... and I don't:) lol! Swimsuit shopping has not been fun and I really though it would be. Guess the body image issues never completely go away. My counselor moved out of the country a few months ago - I guess it's time to go find a new one!

So I was shopping for new jeans this weekend and started in the Women's section of the store. Took a bunch of clothes into the dressing room (I think I have a shopping problem!) and realized as I tried on each item ... THEY WERE ALL TOO BIG!!! So I ventured over to the MISSES department (haven't shopped there in 10 years) and I fit into the L/XL shirts and a size 16 in Levi's. OMG - I am no longer in Plus sizes!! I was jumping up and down and giggling - I'm sure the other shoppers thought I was insane. But I was sooooo happy, I can't even begin to expain it Unfortunately the Levi's didn't fit me quite right, but I proceeded to New York & Co. and got my first ever pair of skinny jeans in a size ... wait for it... 14!!!! I started this journey at a size 22 so I'm just a little flippin excited

Awww, thanks for the compliment:)
I would like a Tummy Tuck but not sure if the insurance will cover it, so it may be a while before I can get that through. It may be about the same time! I don't like the idea of another surgery but after all this work, I would like this skin gone. But even if I don't get it, I'm still so much better off than I was 90+ pounds heavier.

@@Jen35, our stats are very similar, but I definitely have to offer you congratulations on all of your success. I'm loving your profile pic, you are so pretty! It feels great, huh? Despite how surreal all of this is. However, I do feel you with the stomach skin. I too have it and I am planning on having a Tummy Tuck next summer. My doctor wanted me to wait 18 months. However, since I am a teacher, I'm just going to wait until the summer after my 18 months are up. And YES, let's definitely keep in touch with our weight training and see what's working!
Thank you @@Anababy, I appreciate it!!!

Wow - we are really close in stats:) I was sleeved May 22, 2013 started at 244 and I'm at 151 now. I'm still losing slowly a pound or so here and there. I'm shorter than you though (5"4'). You are looking awesome! I agree - it is very surreal to be almost a year out and be successful. I guess I was always afraid in the back of my mind that I would somehow fail at this too. I've failed at losing weight for so long - it's almost a dream to be at my goal.
My new goal is to firm everything up. I haven't done as much weight training/exercising as I had planned:( but I'm trying to fix that now. I do have a lot of tummy skin (that will hopefully be removed in the near future - fingers crossed). That's not going away with weight training, but the inner thigh and arms I'm hoping will firm up. Keep up the amazing work and let me know how the firming up works for you:)

Thank you!!! I'm honored that your first post was on my thread. This is a great place to get questions answered and get a feel for what to expect as you start down this road. I remember being in your shoes and I had a ton of questions. I was sometimes scared by some of the posts (complications) but they helped me to realize that this is a big step and complications are unlikely but DO happen. It's good to be prepared for any outcome. BUT you will do great!! I hope you love your sleeve as much as I do!
Reach out to me anytime - you can message me if you want.

Thank you for the compliment JanetPRN!
You know sleevexcited, I remember joining this sight around this time last year and looking through all the post-op pics and imaging what I would look like, if I would look like that, or if I would have that much success. It was hard to believe, but it's a reality now. It so surreal. It's exciting and it'll happen for you too! Good luck!!!

This is my first post and I am very happy that it is in celebration of your 1 year anniversary. I am just in the beginning of this journey. Went to my first seminar session a couple of days ago. I'm planning to get my 3 months of supervised diet completed by July and then move on to the next step. I want to thank you for the wonderful encouraging words and enthusiasm. I needed that.
Congratulations on your success and future successes!

Yay!!! Hooray for you!!! You have done wonderful!!! how encourageing!! Thank you for sharing! Keep it up!

@@Jen35
you wrapped everything up in a pretty bow with the above sentence
alllll people, newbies et al need to realize/remember that losing the weight is "easy"
ok, not really, but some/many/most of us have lost huge amounts of weight in the past
then they/me might regain+
we are all having WLS to help/assist us lose weight
its hard to keep the weight off
" we work with the sleeve, then the sleeve with/for us
some/me have periodical struggles remaining at goal
but this too will pass - back on that horse again
@@Jen35
look at you girlfriend
you have done amazing
happy dance, happy dance
love that smile on you
you are feeling healthy, happy et al
i also know YOU CAN DO this!!!!!
good luck with maintennance
kathy
congrats

Wow - I can't believe it's coming up on my one year anniversary since my sleeve surgery! I'm so happy I did this - it's been an emotional journey but I'm so much better for it. I started at 244 lb., it was hard to move, tie my shoes, etc. My blood pressure, blood sugar and cholesterol were all borderliine high and getting higher. My knees hurt all the time. I hated the way I looked and felt.
Now, I'm 151 lbs. (my original goal was 150) and I can move easily, ride my bike, jog and I LOVE being physically active. I can do things with my kids without getting so tired. My blood pressure was 100/66 yesterday, blood sugar, cholesterol all wonderfully normal now. I love my new outlook on life.
It wasn't an easy decision to have the surgery and I had some bumps along the way (gallbladder removed 3 weeks after surgery). But my journey, overall, has been a smooth one, physically. Emotionally and mentally is another story. THAT was the hardest part for me. The issues that I had/have tied up in my relationship with food and my body image run deep and they are complex. I've been going to a therapist since 6 months prior to surgery. I'm not sure that I would have been as successful without that piece of the puzzle. I think I would have lost weight, sure, but would I have reached my goal, would I have gained it right back, would I be as happy? I'm not sure. All I know is that I feel more accepting of myself now than I ever have - even when I was thin in my early 20's. Losing the weight was a (small) part of that. Understanding why I abuse food and my body, getting over (most of) my self hatred, and being aware of my bad habits and replacing them with healthier ones - these were more important to my mental well being than the surgery.
My biggest take away over the last year - my advice to anyone who is starting down this path: The surgery is a VERY helpful tool to lose the weight. BUT more is involved in this process to be a happier, healthier person. Just as important, if not more so, is to do the mental and emotional work. At one of my first sessions with my therapist, she asked me how will having this surgery make you happy. I wasn't sure - I just knew it would. But she helped me realized that losing the weight doesn't equal happiness. I'm still going to be the same person, have the same issues, problems, etc. My life wasn't going to magically be wonderful just because I'm thinner:)
Congrats to all of you who have hit your one year anniversary (and every anniversary thereafter). My hope is that I can maintain my loss over the long run, but I know my journey isn't over. In some ways, it is just beginning.... but I can DO THIS!!!

Wow - I can't believe it's coming up on my one year anniversary since my sleeve surgery! I'm so happy I did this - it's been an emotional journey but I'm so much better for it. I started at 244 lb., it was hard to move, tie my shoes, etc. My blood pressure, blood sugar and cholesterol were all borderliine high and getting higher. My knees hurt all the time. I hated the way I looked and felt.
Now, I'm 151 lbs. (my original goal was 150) and I can move easily, ride my bike, jog and I LOVE being physically active. I can do things with my kids without getting so tired. My blood pressure was 100/66 yesterday, blood sugar, cholesterol all wonderfully normal now. I love my new outlook on life.
It wasn't an easy decision to have the surgery and I had some bumps along the way (gallbladder removed 3 weeks after surgery). But my journey, overall, has been a smooth one, physically. Emotionally and mentally is another story. THAT was the hardest part for me. The issues that I had/have tied up in my relationship with food and my body image run deep and they are complex. I've been going to a therapist since 6 months prior to surgery. I'm not sure that I would have been as successful without that piece of the puzzle. I think I would have lost weight, sure, but would I have reached my goal, would I have gained it right back, would I be as happy? I'm not sure. All I know is that I feel more accepting of myself now than I ever have - even when I was thin in my early 20's. Losing the weight was a (small) part of that. Understanding why I abuse food and my body, getting over (most of) my self hatred, and being aware of my bad habits and replacing them with healthier ones - these were more important to my mental well being than the surgery.
My biggest take away over the last year - my advice to anyone who is starting down this path: The surgery is a VERY helpful tool to lose the weight. BUT more is involved in this process to be a happier, healthier person. Just as important, if not more so, is to do the mental and emotional work. At one of my first sessions with my therapist, she asked me how will having this surgery make you happy. I wasn't sure - I just knew it would. But she helped me realized that losing the weight doesn't equal happiness. I'm still going to be the same person, have the same issues, problems, etc. My life wasn't going to magically be wonderful just because I'm thinner:)
Congrats to all of you who have hit your one year anniversary (and every anniversary thereafter). My hope is that I can maintain my loss over the long run, but I know my journey isn't over. In some ways, it is just beginning.... but I can DO THIS!!!

Wow - I can't believe it's coming up on my one year anniversary since my sleeve surgery! I'm so happy I did this - it's been an emotional journey but I'm so much better for it. I started at 244 lb., it was hard to move, tie my shoes, etc. My blood pressure, blood sugar and cholesterol were all borderliine high and getting higher. My knees hurt all the time. I hated the way I looked and felt.
Now, I'm 151 lbs. (my original goal was 150) and I can move easily, ride my bike, jog and I LOVE being physically active. I can do things with my kids without getting so tired. My blood pressure was 100/66 yesterday, blood sugar, cholesterol all wonderfully normal now. I love my new outlook on life.
It wasn't an easy decision to have the surgery and I had some bumps along the way (gallbladder removed 3 weeks after surgery). But my journey, overall, has been a smooth one, physically. Emotionally and mentally is another story. THAT was the hardest part for me. The issues that I had/have tied up in my relationship with food and my body image run deep and they are complex. I've been going to a therapist since 6 months prior to surgery. I'm not sure that I would have been as successful without that piece of the puzzle. I think I would have lost weight, sure, but would I have reached my goal, would I have gained it right back, would I be as happy? I'm not sure. All I know is that I feel more accepting of myself now than I ever have - even when I was thin in my early 20's. Losing the weight was a (small) part of that. Understanding why I abuse food and my body, getting over (most of) my self hatred, and being aware of my bad habits and replacing them with healthier ones - these were more important to my mental well being than the surgery.
My biggest take away over the last year - my advice to anyone who is starting down this path: The surgery is a VERY helpful tool to lose the weight. BUT more is involved in this process to be a happier, healthier person. Just as important, if not more so, is to do the mental and emotional work. At one of my first sessions with my therapist, she asked me how will having this surgery make you happy. I wasn't sure - I just knew it would. But she helped me realized that losing the weight doesn't equal happiness. I'm still going to be the same person, have the same issues, problems, etc. My life wasn't going to magically be wonderful just because I'm thinner:)
Congrats to all of you who have hit your one year anniversary (and every anniversary thereafter). My hope is that I can maintain my loss over the long run, but I know my journey isn't over. In some ways, it is just beginning.... but I can DO THIS!!!

Wow - I can't believe it's coming up on my one year anniversary since my sleeve surgery! I'm so happy I did this - it's been an emotional journey but I'm so much better for it. I started at 244 lb., it was hard to move, tie my shoes, etc. My blood pressure, blood sugar and cholesterol were all borderliine high and getting higher. My knees hurt all the time. I hated the way I looked and felt.
Now, I'm 151 lbs. (my original goal was 150) and I can move easily, ride my bike, jog and I LOVE being physically active. I can do things with my kids without getting so tired. My blood pressure was 100/66 yesterday, blood sugar, cholesterol all wonderfully normal now. I love my new outlook on life.
It wasn't an easy decision to have the surgery and I had some bumps along the way (gallbladder removed 3 weeks after surgery). But my journey, overall, has been a smooth one, physically. Emotionally and mentally is another story. THAT was the hardest part for me. The issues that I had/have tied up in my relationship with food and my body image run deep and they are complex. I've been going to a therapist since 6 months prior to surgery. I'm not sure that I would have been as successful without that piece of the puzzle. I think I would have lost weight, sure, but would I have reached my goal, would I have gained it right back, would I be as happy? I'm not sure. All I know is that I feel more accepting of myself now than I ever have - even when I was thin in my early 20's. Losing the weight was a (small) part of that. Understanding why I abuse food and my body, getting over (most of) my self hatred, and being aware of my bad habits and replacing them with healthier ones - these were more important to my mental well being than the surgery.
My biggest take away over the last year - my advice to anyone who is starting down this path: The surgery is a VERY helpful tool to lose the weight. BUT more is involved in this process to be a happier, healthier person. Just as important, if not more so, is to do the mental and emotional work. At one of my first sessions with my therapist, she asked me how will having this surgery make you happy. I wasn't sure - I just knew it would. But she helped me realized that losing the weight doesn't equal happiness. I'm still going to be the same person, have the same issues, problems, etc. My life wasn't going to magically be wonderful just because I'm thinner:)
Congrats to all of you who have hit your one year anniversary (and every anniversary thereafter). My hope is that I can maintain my loss over the long run, but I know my journey isn't over. In some ways, it is just beginning.... but I can DO THIS!!!

Wow - I can't believe it's coming up on my one year anniversary since my sleeve surgery! I'm so happy I did this - it's been an emotional journey but I'm so much better for it. I started at 244 lb., it was hard to move, tie my shoes, etc. My blood pressure, blood sugar and cholesterol were all borderliine high and getting higher. My knees hurt all the time. I hated the way I looked and felt.
Now, I'm 151 lbs. (my original goal was 150) and I can move easily, ride my bike, jog and I LOVE being physically active. I can do things with my kids without getting so tired. My blood pressure was 100/66 yesterday, blood sugar, cholesterol all wonderfully normal now. I love my new outlook on life.
It wasn't an easy decision to have the surgery and I had some bumps along the way (gallbladder removed 3 weeks after surgery). But my journey, overall, has been a smooth one, physically. Emotionally and mentally is another story. THAT was the hardest part for me. The issues that I had/have tied up in my relationship with food and my body image run deep and they are complex. I've been going to a therapist since 6 months prior to surgery. I'm not sure that I would have been as successful without that piece of the puzzle. I think I would have lost weight, sure, but would I have reached my goal, would I have gained it right back, would I be as happy? I'm not sure. All I know is that I feel more accepting of myself now than I ever have - even when I was thin in my early 20's. Losing the weight was a (small) part of that. Understanding why I abuse food and my body, getting over (most of) my self hatred, and being aware of my bad habits and replacing them with healthier ones - these were more important to my mental well being than the surgery.
My biggest take away over the last year - my advice to anyone who is starting down this path: The surgery is a VERY helpful tool to lose the weight. BUT more is involved in this process to be a happier, healthier person. Just as important, if not more so, is to do the mental and emotional work. At one of my first sessions with my therapist, she asked me how will having this surgery make you happy. I wasn't sure - I just knew it would. But she helped me realized that losing the weight doesn't equal happiness. I'm still going to be the same person, have the same issues, problems, etc. My life wasn't going to magically be wonderful just because I'm thinner:)
Congrats to all of you who have hit your one year anniversary (and every anniversary thereafter). My hope is that I can maintain my loss over the long run, but I know my journey isn't over. In some ways, it is just beginning.... but I can DO THIS!!!

Wow - I can't believe it's coming up on my one year anniversary since my sleeve surgery! I'm so happy I did this - it's been an emotional journey but I'm so much better for it. I started at 244 lb., it was hard to move, tie my shoes, etc. My blood pressure, blood sugar and cholesterol were all borderliine high and getting higher. My knees hurt all the time. I hated the way I looked and felt.
Now, I'm 151 lbs. (my original goal was 150) and I can move easily, ride my bike, jog and I LOVE being physically active. I can do things with my kids without getting so tired. My blood pressure was 100/66 yesterday, blood sugar, cholesterol all wonderfully normal now. I love my new outlook on life.
It wasn't an easy decision to have the surgery and I had some bumps along the way (gallbladder removed 3 weeks after surgery). But my journey, overall, has been a smooth one, physically. Emotionally and mentally is another story. THAT was the hardest part for me. The issues that I had/have tied up in my relationship with food and my body image run deep and they are complex. I've been going to a therapist since 6 months prior to surgery. I'm not sure that I would have been as successful without that piece of the puzzle. I think I would have lost weight, sure, but would I have reached my goal, would I have gained it right back, would I be as happy? I'm not sure. All I know is that I feel more accepting of myself now than I ever have - even when I was thin in my early 20's. Losing the weight was a (small) part of that. Understanding why I abuse food and my body, getting over (most of) my self hatred, and being aware of my bad habits and replacing them with healthier ones - these were more important to my mental well being than the surgery.
My biggest take away over the last year - my advice to anyone who is starting down this path: The surgery is a VERY helpful tool to lose the weight. BUT more is involved in this process to be a happier, healthier person. Just as important, if not more so, is to do the mental and emotional work. At one of my first sessions with my therapist, she asked me how will having this surgery make you happy. I wasn't sure - I just knew it would. But she helped me realized that losing the weight doesn't equal happiness. I'm still going to be the same person, have the same issues, problems, etc. My life wasn't going to magically be wonderful just because I'm thinner:)
Congrats to all of you who have hit your one year anniversary (and every anniversary thereafter). My hope is that I can maintain my loss over the long run, but I know my journey isn't over. In some ways, it is just beginning.... but I can DO THIS!!!

I'm so glad you posted this! There are so many strong people on this site posting about their struggles with addiction. I know it's hard to share such personal information, but it really does help others to know they are not alone and that addictions can be managed.
I am a little over 6 months out and I can see some tendencies toward other addictions. I'm certain I am a food addict and I've been in counselling for a year now. Just the reaction I had after my sleeve surgery when I couldn't eat my feelings anymore - it was the WORST feeling I've ever had. I used to eat until I was numb and was "high" on food (I compare it to getting drunk). I can't do that anymore so my brain automatically wants to look for a replacement. I'm really keeping an eye on my drinking, shopping, etc. The counselling has helped me be aware of my issues and, if I'm aware of them, I feel like I'm gaining some headway to healing. It is also helping me to feel my feelings instead of suppress them with whatever (food, alcohol, etc.). It's a really difficult process, especially when you suffer with anxiety and depression. My brain really fights feeling my emotions! I've used these coping skills my entire life and now I'm trying to change - very hard thing to do.
So I guess my point is that none of us are immune to the possibility of other addictions. But awareness is the key. If you are aware of the problem (or potential problems) you can get the help you need. Hang in there - you're not alone - and YOU CAN DO THIS:)

Most of us know what we need to do to be healthy. We know what foods are good for us, that we should exercise, etc. but our frontal lobe (the part of our brain responsible for logic, reasoning, etc) is not the part of our brains causing us to turn to food for comfort. It's our brain stem - that part of our brain that tells us that food is necessary for life. That need gets all tied up with our need to feel better about all of our tramas (childhood abuse, adult stress and trama - all of it) and we use food as a drug to make us feel better. The problem is in the avoidance of our emotions instead of facing them head on. At least, this is the conclusion I have come to after a ton of therapy. And maybe this isn't true for everyone, but for me - I used food to not feel - to not remember the terrible things of my childhood. If I ate, I didn't feel those crippling emotions that I didn't know how to deal with - I never learned how to deal with.

My mom died when I was 10 (but was sick for years prior) and my father didn't know how to be a father. At the end of the day, if we were all alive, fed and had a roof over our heads, he had done his job. No emotions were allowed in the house, especially no tears. I grew up with the responsibility of the world on my shoulders and the feeling that I had to just power through every situation. No emotion, no tears. As a teenager, I sought male attention to have some form of emotional connection with others, even if it was only physical. When I later married, I turned to food to keep from feeling and dealing with life. All of this insight helps me see where I need to change in my coping mechanisms. Some days I'm better at it than others. I still want to turn to food and sometimes I do. But I know why I'm doing it and I have more skills to work with from the therapy. And I'm moving forward, which is more than I did before.
We all have our reasons for eating, The hard part is figuring out why and then working on changing our behaviors. It's the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life.

I'm so glad you posted this! There are so many strong people on this site posting about their struggles with addiction. I know it's hard to share such personal information, but it really does help others to know they are not alone and that addictions can be managed.
I am a little over 6 months out and I can see some tendencies toward other addictions. I'm certain I am a food addict and I've been in counselling for a year now. Just the reaction I had after my sleeve surgery when I couldn't eat my feelings anymore - it was the WORST feeling I've ever had. I used to eat until I was numb and was "high" on food (I compare it to getting drunk). I can't do that anymore so my brain automatically wants to look for a replacement. I'm really keeping an eye on my drinking, shopping, etc. The counselling has helped me be aware of my issues and, if I'm aware of them, I feel like I'm gaining some headway to healing. It is also helping me to feel my feelings instead of suppress them with whatever (food, alcohol, etc.). It's a really difficult process, especially when you suffer with anxiety and depression. My brain really fights feeling my emotions! I've used these coping skills my entire life and now I'm trying to change - very hard thing to do.
So I guess my point is that none of us are immune to the possibility of other addictions. But awareness is the key. If you are aware of the problem (or potential problems) you can get the help you need. Hang in there - you're not alone - and YOU CAN DO THIS:)

Most of us know what we need to do to be healthy. We know what foods are good for us, that we should exercise, etc. but our frontal lobe (the part of our brain responsible for logic, reasoning, etc) is not the part of our brains causing us to turn to food for comfort. It's our brain stem - that part of our brain that tells us that food is necessary for life. That need gets all tied up with our need to feel better about all of our tramas (childhood abuse, adult stress and trama - all of it) and we use food as a drug to make us feel better. The problem is in the avoidance of our emotions instead of facing them head on. At least, this is the conclusion I have come to after a ton of therapy. And maybe this isn't true for everyone, but for me - I used food to not feel - to not remember the terrible things of my childhood. If I ate, I didn't feel those crippling emotions that I didn't know how to deal with - I never learned how to deal with.

My mom died when I was 10 (but was sick for years prior) and my father didn't know how to be a father. At the end of the day, if we were all alive, fed and had a roof over our heads, he had done his job. No emotions were allowed in the house, especially no tears. I grew up with the responsibility of the world on my shoulders and the feeling that I had to just power through every situation. No emotion, no tears. As a teenager, I sought male attention to have some form of emotional connection with others, even if it was only physical. When I later married, I turned to food to keep from feeling and dealing with life. All of this insight helps me see where I need to change in my coping mechanisms. Some days I'm better at it than others. I still want to turn to food and sometimes I do. But I know why I'm doing it and I have more skills to work with from the therapy. And I'm moving forward, which is more than I did before.
We all have our reasons for eating, The hard part is figuring out why and then working on changing our behaviors. It's the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life.

Most of us know what we need to do to be healthy. We know what foods are good for us, that we should exercise, etc. but our frontal lobe (the part of our brain responsible for logic, reasoning, etc) is not the part of our brains causing us to turn to food for comfort. It's our brain stem - that part of our brain that tells us that food is necessary for life. That need gets all tied up with our need to feel better about all of our tramas (childhood abuse, adult stress and trama - all of it) and we use food as a drug to make us feel better. The problem is in the avoidance of our emotions instead of facing them head on. At least, this is the conclusion I have come to after a ton of therapy. And maybe this isn't true for everyone, but for me - I used food to not feel - to not remember the terrible things of my childhood. If I ate, I didn't feel those crippling emotions that I didn't know how to deal with - I never learned how to deal with.

My mom died when I was 10 (but was sick for years prior) and my father didn't know how to be a father. At the end of the day, if we were all alive, fed and had a roof over our heads, he had done his job. No emotions were allowed in the house, especially no tears. I grew up with the responsibility of the world on my shoulders and the feeling that I had to just power through every situation. No emotion, no tears. As a teenager, I sought male attention to have some form of emotional connection with others, even if it was only physical. When I later married, I turned to food to keep from feeling and dealing with life. All of this insight helps me see where I need to change in my coping mechanisms. Some days I'm better at it than others. I still want to turn to food and sometimes I do. But I know why I'm doing it and I have more skills to work with from the therapy. And I'm moving forward, which is more than I did before.
We all have our reasons for eating, The hard part is figuring out why and then working on changing our behaviors. It's the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life.

Most of us know what we need to do to be healthy. We know what foods are good for us, that we should exercise, etc. but our frontal lobe (the part of our brain responsible for logic, reasoning, etc) is not the part of our brains causing us to turn to food for comfort. It's our brain stem - that part of our brain that tells us that food is necessary for life. That need gets all tied up with our need to feel better about all of our tramas (childhood abuse, adult stress and trama - all of it) and we use food as a drug to make us feel better. The problem is in the avoidance of our emotions instead of facing them head on. At least, this is the conclusion I have come to after a ton of therapy. And maybe this isn't true for everyone, but for me - I used food to not feel - to not remember the terrible things of my childhood. If I ate, I didn't feel those crippling emotions that I didn't know how to deal with - I never learned how to deal with.

My mom died when I was 10 (but was sick for years prior) and my father didn't know how to be a father. At the end of the day, if we were all alive, fed and had a roof over our heads, he had done his job. No emotions were allowed in the house, especially no tears. I grew up with the responsibility of the world on my shoulders and the feeling that I had to just power through every situation. No emotion, no tears. As a teenager, I sought male attention to have some form of emotional connection with others, even if it was only physical. When I later married, I turned to food to keep from feeling and dealing with life. All of this insight helps me see where I need to change in my coping mechanisms. Some days I'm better at it than others. I still want to turn to food and sometimes I do. But I know why I'm doing it and I have more skills to work with from the therapy. And I'm moving forward, which is more than I did before.
We all have our reasons for eating, The hard part is figuring out why and then working on changing our behaviors. It's the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life.

Most of us know what we need to do to be healthy. We know what foods are good for us, that we should exercise, etc. but our frontal lobe (the part of our brain responsible for logic, reasoning, etc) is not the part of our brains causing us to turn to food for comfort. It's our brain stem - that part of our brain that tells us that food is necessary for life. That need gets all tied up with our need to feel better about all of our tramas (childhood abuse, adult stress and trama - all of it) and we use food as a drug to make us feel better. The problem is in the avoidance of our emotions instead of facing them head on. At least, this is the conclusion I have come to after a ton of therapy. And maybe this isn't true for everyone, but for me - I used food to not feel - to not remember the terrible things of my childhood. If I ate, I didn't feel those crippling emotions that I didn't know how to deal with - I never learned how to deal with.

My mom died when I was 10 (but was sick for years prior) and my father didn't know how to be a father. At the end of the day, if we were all alive, fed and had a roof over our heads, he had done his job. No emotions were allowed in the house, especially no tears. I grew up with the responsibility of the world on my shoulders and the feeling that I had to just power through every situation. No emotion, no tears. As a teenager, I sought male attention to have some form of emotional connection with others, even if it was only physical. When I later married, I turned to food to keep from feeling and dealing with life. All of this insight helps me see where I need to change in my coping mechanisms. Some days I'm better at it than others. I still want to turn to food and sometimes I do. But I know why I'm doing it and I have more skills to work with from the therapy. And I'm moving forward, which is more than I did before.
We all have our reasons for eating, The hard part is figuring out why and then working on changing our behaviors. It's the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life.

I'm so glad you posted this! There are so many strong people on this site posting about their struggles with addiction. I know it's hard to share such personal information, but it really does help others to know they are not alone and that addictions can be managed.
I am a little over 6 months out and I can see some tendencies toward other addictions. I'm certain I am a food addict and I've been in counselling for a year now. Just the reaction I had after my sleeve surgery when I couldn't eat my feelings anymore - it was the WORST feeling I've ever had. I used to eat until I was numb and was "high" on food (I compare it to getting drunk). I can't do that anymore so my brain automatically wants to look for a replacement. I'm really keeping an eye on my drinking, shopping, etc. The counselling has helped me be aware of my issues and, if I'm aware of them, I feel like I'm gaining some headway to healing. It is also helping me to feel my feelings instead of suppress them with whatever (food, alcohol, etc.). It's a really difficult process, especially when you suffer with anxiety and depression. My brain really fights feeling my emotions! I've used these coping skills my entire life and now I'm trying to change - very hard thing to do.
So I guess my point is that none of us are immune to the possibility of other addictions. But awareness is the key. If you are aware of the problem (or potential problems) you can get the help you need. Hang in there - you're not alone - and YOU CAN DO THIS:)

So I was shopping for new jeans this weekend and started in the Women's section of the store. Took a bunch of clothes into the dressing room (I think I have a shopping problem!) and realized as I tried on each item ... THEY WERE ALL TOO BIG!!! So I ventured over to the MISSES department (haven't shopped there in 10 years) and I fit into the L/XL shirts and a size 16 in Levi's. OMG - I am no longer in Plus sizes!! I was jumping up and down and giggling - I'm sure the other shoppers thought I was insane. But I was sooooo happy, I can't even begin to expain it Unfortunately the Levi's didn't fit me quite right, but I proceeded to New York & Co. and got my first ever pair of skinny jeans in a size ... wait for it... 14!!!! I started this journey at a size 22 so I'm just a little flippin excited