RJ'S/beginning

I did not eat with my family the entire time I did pre-op...I did not even cook for them..They were on their own as I was..this was about me and what I had to do to be healthier.... you might want to leave the room even if you still have to cook for them....

My skin has changed a lot since surgery...It is much dryer. I am cold all the time now because I don't have the insulation I used to.. My hair is finally growing back and a few other things...the best part is through it all I have lost over 176 lbs. yee haww

I started taking prim rose oil in gel form yesterday...I have been having a lot of trouble with my skin being dry and cracking.....it will take a week or so but it will be worth it if it works...I am taking 1000 mg a day so far Might want to try that!

I have been on a few meds for depression...Right now I am on a soup..which means a few kinds all at once..I have had the help and the classes and everything in between...It is just there to irritate and hold me back from living sometimes...the episodes usually last only up to a week..And then I get a little reprieve...Here's hoping!

No they can't adjust them because I am one of the few that the meds only take the edge off.....I have been to many meetings about depression and it is always the same thing..Some people it really helps. Some people meds don't help at all and then there is me that no matter what I take it just takes the edge off....

Today I got up and there was a dark cloud looming over my head...i felt like I was so heavy and sick. Even looking at this forum did not cheer me up. I shuffled through the morning answering posts and reading posts and felt unsatisfied with everything I wrote... I was supposed to go to the grocery store and walk around and maybe buy some vegetables. But I felt to over whelmed to even do that by myself.... Before I had WLS my surgeon said that most people who have this surgery also beat depression and become happy. I looked at him in awe as he said those words hoping that I might be one of them... When I spent those 5 months in the hospital they took me off my depression meds and for 2 months I felt okay considering the state I was in. Then, all of a sudden I found myself going deep into a dark hole. I became irritated and no one could help me...I kept the blinds closed in my room and would not comment when the nurses urged me to let the Vitamin D in. The Doctors would come and talk to me and I could not answer..It was as if I could not hear them or understand what they were saying..I felt drained and dark and as if I was falling into the black hole.. My husband came to my rescue and told them that if they did not start up the meds again worse then my saddened state was going to happen and they would not be able to help me anymore..So they started me on liquid Prozac..That stuff tasted like pure sugar with a nasty taste..but listening to my hubby I did what he said and within a couple weeks I started to come out of the darkness.... Since then I have had days where I feel down and sad and I should be happy and excited about my new life and the strides I have made... Today my hubby took me to the grocery store because I could not handle going alone. I told him that I wish i had been one of the ones that got better and did not have any more depression...It is not to be I guess.... All the improvements and life changes and working on myself to make me a better, healthier person; I will always suffer from that dreaded condition...Chronic depression...I really feel it today....It is a very long day today...

Welcome to the losers bench..You are so right..3 pieces just may be too much for at least the first 6 - 8 months...after that well....if you return to your old habits..You can do it...please don't though...Seems to me that you are very serious about your new goals and life..... Most sleeves do not like oils or fats like deep frying anything...it is sad but true.... Once again congrats!

I have had problems concentrating ever since I left the hospital...i have not been able to write one word in my unfinished novels or stories and have not written 1 poem since I came home..I know part of it is because of the coma lost some memory..I can't even watch much TV and have not touched a book in months... I am always watching this forum and reading food porn.... Have been spending the last 2 hours looking for a lost pair of earrings....So far they have not appeared....Still looking must go back to the task at hand.....oops... should get some Water first...ah forget it...totally mixed up....crap!

You should be smiling in your update pic girl...you look so different..congrats to you!

Always exciting to lose those old pairs of pants or jeans..All the best to your hubby, and you keep up the good work ...K

If veteran means to goal..I am not one..But I am over 1 year out....Listening to your sleeve is one of the most important things you must do....You need to feel your sleeve as well. Taking smaller sips will help...As time goes by you will almost be able to drink as you did before.....for now...Better to put the glass down after each sip and then pick it back up again.Don't hold it in your hands. When eating do the same.Put your fork down after every bite and it gives you time to chew and swallow with little or no pain.... Try a small fork or spoon...Also when you drink, do not fill your mouth with the Water by take in a sip, hold it and try to think of the process of swallowing..And then do it....It will be come natural to you and just when you have it figured out your drinking capacity will improve....hope this helps!

You are totally off the wall..Never change okay..lol

Oh thank you for your advice....I know that I am not there yet and plan..oh I really plan to get there..I so want to know just how small I am going to end up being...Maybe I will be so small that I will disappear into the sunset....Here's hoping....lol I appreciate the vets point of view very much...Your a doll for sharing....

Hunter....congrats on your life changes...And welcome to this forum and this crazy and unpredictable thread...humor is being used to help deal with the pain of reality as you most likely saw as you read some of the replies....Your list was amazing and a most of them I concur with....Don't be a stranger here..We are not perfect but we are real and like those who are real as well.....you are open and honest..I like that..

That one is really good...I am a true believer that we are not quite sure how exactly things are meant when they are said so it is always gracious to give those who express themselves honestly or openly what ever they feel; respect and consideration.....

I agree..I think that food addiction will always be just under the surface, ready to rear its ugly head as soon as things are good or things are bad...which it is always one or the other..So it is a constant fight in life to control the addiction...Once an alcoholic always considered to be one ..Same as food addiction. Can't let your guard down for too long...

Yup that's what he said...so basically once I get this under wraps ...I,m free as the breeze and I'll do as I please, just bumming around!!!!!

lol...Please sir can I have some more....

That's right, lets verbally beat the stuffing out of him...lol

You guys are nuts...truly nuts I tell you......If I wasn't a depressed person now..And getting my hit of Serotonin through meds....I would reconsider his remarks about getting it as a reward for eating... hmmmmm..Chocolate anyone.. My rehab Doc told me that if you are over 50 it is only a very slight chance that a person trades one addiction for another....So I guess if I am no longer addicted to food..Then I will be cured...Who are we kidding ...food glorious food.....gasping!!!!

Love the expression the flights were all jacked up.....do you mean hi-jacked...hehehehehe

That is funny that you asked me if I was a writer..I am in fact...But a starving artist of the trade.....Yes one day I will pen all of this for a book and hopefully it will bring some conclusion to all involved as everyone has suffered severely at her hands....

If she knew the truth that would make her a person like Hitler or an unfeeling great white..But she is a very sick person and has convinced herself that she was the best mother on the planet...She really believes it...When the other kids talked to her and she went on about her magnificence as a mother they would fight with her and tell her their side of the story..Never worked..She is also a pathological liar and is extremely smart and has a good memory for her lies...No...She will die thinking she was the Ace mother and we are all ungrateful wastes of flesh.... One thing I learned is you can cage a psychopath but you cannot cure them..... she will die alone like she allowed her lap dog to die alone...what goes around will be the end of it all.....I feel so bad for her..She could have had 12 children who loved and adored her and treated her like a queen...But that was never going to happen....And never will

You are sharing with us a black and white answer..Oh if life were that simple eh....There is a high percentage of woman who return to abusive relationships because they are familiar with it, they are cared for financially and see no way out..even for the children.....Does that solve the problem..no! the abuser abuses more and sometimes it costs the mate or children or both their lives....That said.. I am 1 in 12 kids..The only one who tried to continue a distant relationship with my mother....they all thought I was nuts..But I always knew that she was sick in the head and could not help herself....Hurting the ones she loves brings her great pleasure...But i am not an animal..I have feelings and wanted to make sure that she was taken care of and if she has even gotten sick or died...She still gave birth to me you know....... But now..after everyone told me that it was not going to stay..that she would figure out a way to push me away as well. She did..she asked me a couple of weeks ago not to ever call her again...A minor family matter did not go as she wanted so she has finally cut all of us off.. My mother has always played the victim...I am a lone, i have 12 kids and they don't care about me...so she gets poor poor dear sad for you, we will help your children are all scum and waste.... That perks her up, and makes her feel like something special...Like I said she always wanted to be looked after one on one care...no deal for any of us..I had a relationship with her at a distance...That was pretty safe you know.. Now she has cut the ties herself and I will respect that and not bother her again...I do feel bad for her though because ahe will die alone. No one to see her out. Just what she wants.....I am done.. So many feelings and emotions get locked up in these kinds of situations....Sometimes you just don't know what to do until the choice is made for you..That is what has happened for me now......

Thank you cabingirl, the sizes are changing so fast now it is scaring me a little...You will probably pass me kid...I am a tall woman and big boned.....but if I stopped now I would be smaller then I have been in 35 years...What a load off eh...hehehehe