RJ'S/beginning

I have been sick with a deep onset of depression this season. And have visited the Dr. who has given me some extra meds. to try to help with my emotions and racing mind...... I have tried so hard to be positive here or to my family or be positive about anything for that matter! It has been as difficult as being a WLS patient and keeping my **** together in that area... Anyone else fighting this beast or anything else this winter that has made it difficult to eat the right things or do the right things or even say the right things to loved ones or to other people....

Not me.. never dreamed of those things....I want to bungee jump and sky dive, race on the back of a stallion in cool Water on a beach. climb a mountain. Swim with Dolphins. Never ever thought of survivor or the amazing race.....

Are you talking about you and me?....lol

What's amazing and wonderful about boards like this one is that anyone ever answers another person's questions or offers advice that was requested. It's amazing and wonderful that knowledge is exchanged in this way. And every online community like this one finds its own equilibrium. Those balances change over time, but in social media a balance is always struck. @@ProjectMe is also right that almost everyone here is living a life with challenges that others cannot see. Since my own WLS (seven months ago), here's a short list of my new challenges, in addition to working full time and being the family member responsible for the care of my mother who has advanced Alzheimer's disease: * I also recovered from gallbladder surgery. * My hubby was diagnosed with cancer and is undergoing radiation and chemo. * Our sweet, beloved dog died. * My husband's adult son died of a stroke after a month's hospitalization and hospice care. * My father-in-law was just diagnosed (last week) with cancer. No one stays on these boards any longer than they wish or any longer than they receive value or any longer than the effort to contribute exceeds their enjoyment. I would urge everyone here to look for the fun in life, the cloud's silver lining, the joke that brings a smile ... and to quit being so outraged at stuff that really does not matter. None of us is getting out of here alive, so in the meantime let's try to do our best and have some fun before we go. I am so sorry you are going through so much right now! My heart went out to you! Please take care of you and yours through this difficult time in your families lives! Jane

Damn....I want to swim with Dolphins right now! pout! Would be so much better then this never ending freaking winter we are having in the North! just saying!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for your kindness. When I was visiting my surgeon and was approved for WLS. I met my hubby at the hospital lunch counter. I was drinking Water and this a-hole made such a commotion. He was poking his wife and laughing at me and finally she looked up and our eyes met. She pushed him with her elbow and looked back down at the computer she was working on. I then turned my attention to him and he kept it up for the time I was sitting there. I did not tell my hubby until after because I knew his type. Unless I had kicked him in the groin he would have become more verbal and ignorant. Some people never have to face this kind of abuse. For whatever reason...Maybe it is how they present themselves or maybe the abuser knows they would be sucker punched in the throat. Or maybe they are not tuned into other people around them . I wish that had been my story. But it was not to be....So I look at people as a whole and love to be there if they need help or answers or just encouragement. The rest is left to them, family, friends and their doctors.....

I remember every single insult and person who felt it was their duty to " help " me with my weight problem. What they did not know is what drove me there besides putting food into my mouth. People who think that they can save the world by pointing out others obvious flaws according to them is a real turn off. Now by example a person can make a difference. It is much bigger then you need to have WLS. It is an adjustment that needs to be made from the money making food industry to diet companies to the government that do not promote good eating habits and food choices. It is many who do not have the funds to eat well a lot of folks don't have a clue how to in the first place.... Round and round we go..... Mostly it is a lesson to be learned and it is learned hard. When I think of all those people who looked at me sideways or laughed at me. Stopped their car in front of my house to stare at the fat girl gardening and so on. I wish I had kicked them right where it hurts..Like it hurt me. While they went away feeling like they had accomplished a good deed by making me cry. They were completely wrong. Giving advice freely without being asked is a whole lot of bad to deal with. Now if you are asked...Lay it out for them....Otherwise you don't have a clue what makes that person tick and what stage they are at in life. In fact I would say it would be a lot like how that Katie Hopkins of the UK comes across! This is the hardest addiction to fix. So I personally do not question anyone or judge anyone who struggles with weight as I have been there and done that and will fight the rest of my life this battle of weight gain and loss.......

Where I live there are/were hardly any hoops to jump through. I wish there had been more and I wish I had been better informed. Looking into the sleeve was a 2 year search and still knew very little about it. I learned a lot from this very site. Many were very helpful to me and patient. I was going for the bypass and was encouraged to have the sleeve. I waited 4 years for WLS. I would have gladly gone through the whole circus if I had understood better what might happen to me or what the possible complications might be other then dying and of course the leak. As said before this is not for the faint of heart. No surgery is! It is not the easy way out. It is chosen by most who have tried everything else first. Until you have done that. Then you should chose not to have this surgery. For me it was life or death. I chose life but that has been with a different kind of price to pay. Don't do this unless you are 100 % committed and 100% sure that this is the best way for you. As it is a lot of work to diet which way you chose... All the best to you and your future efforts in the battle of obesity. We are cheering for you.

That and Doctors bury their mistakes....LOL

Thank you for setting this up for us...I really believe it will be a real benefit as well. Getting to know those ones better is a real hope for me as well.... TY Alex!

It is like asking why the sun comes up every day. Or the science behind photosynthesis. You can search that out on the internet for all the scientific data they have but the simple answer is that it is natural for the body to protect itself from any harm that we do to it. And by losing weight too fast we go into starvation mode and the body says...hey not going to allow this and when it knows you are still feeding it it lets more fat go. Why does everything have to be so difficult when it can be explained easily by trusting your body to do what it needs to do to get healthy? Your losing you don't need to worry at this point but you will stall. The thing is that if you weigh yourself constantly you will see them..... The body is an amazing machine and man has only touched the surface of what it is capable of and what it can do.....It will protect itself as long as it can before something happens that it needs help... I don't agree with his thinking but not offended. Just typical of the medical community at times to expect more from mere humans when they consider themselves gods.

​I won't be generic comments....so I will say this.....Your body can be referred to as a city. If one thing breaks down or changes it causes the whole city to turn into ciaos. So if he thinks that it is possible for you to lose 11 lbs. every week, something in your city is going to shut down to protect itself from keeping things running smoothly. It is impossible to lose that much weight every week. It is recommended that to keep weight off we should lose between 1.5 to 2.5 lbs a week. To keep things balanced. Our bodies go into a kind of shock when we dramatically change it and weight gain or loss can bring that on. This is due to the surgery and the honeymoon period. But it won't last forever. Depending on how much we have to lose each one of us lose at a rate our own bodies see fit. If you stay on course you will lose the weight.... Call it a stall, plateaue or body at rest. But we need that to keep healthy. Going into starvation mode which will eventually give you the chance for your body to eat its self is a prelude to much worse things or conditions such as Anorexia..... Is it his thing to have all the star losers on his watch or is he just being a dick head....It does not even make sense that he should say that.......what a dipwad thing to say!

The problem is that people make it their business. I tried the shocked approach and the quiet approach. Neither worked so as a friend said to me. 'Better to be hanged as a sheep then a lamb.' Translation: might as well give it back because it has not stopped these people from opening their pie holes and telling me what they think....So I no longer stand there and take it......

My latest comment to someone who said boy you have lost a huge part of yourself. What happened to you, you look awful! I said well whatever I did maybe you should think about it as well. Like try almost dying! And then I ended with oh by the way..bite me! that is when I turned on my heals and walked away....No time for stupid....you know! So done with that stuff!

Too funny! LOL

We don't always eat so healthy. We or I have treat days. But you only have so much room in your sleeve so it will be a challenge to maintain good health if the rules on the whole are not followed most of the time. I have an issue with carbs..I love them and they go down smooth for me and I feel no restriction when I eat them. Now give me a piece of Protein and it is restriction. So when I eat properly I have no issues with how much I eat. But I do treat myself now and then. But mostly I am a good girl and have a couple Cookies..Not a bag of cookies...It is all about how much you want to succeed and remain so. This will always be a struggle to maintain my weight as it has been most of my life. No one said that has had this surgery that it is easy. It is not.. It is an entire retraining of how you eat food and how you view it. As a nutrition factor and not a pleasure factor... It is a lifetime struggle and has been so it will continue as such.....At least for me...

I don't know what it is......Everyone has an opinion for everything.....I find it entertaining now as at first it bothered me..Now just this past week a neighbor told me that they (neighborhood) all knew what I did and not to hide it.She said it like she was accusing me of something!.. Hide what...What I decide to do for myself. Do I tell my neighbors anything I do. No..They mean nothing to me and so they can shove it where the sun don't shine... I did this to better my life and if it causes them issues the issues are theirs.....Personally I think she should look into the surgery herself...Just saying.....lol

I still throw up at times. Sometimes it is just my stomach saying oh no you don't!!!!!!!!!!! Your not handling food today..... It happens so fast sometimes too. No warning at all...... Slimming is awful as well. Hate that one! I always have a tea after and it seems to settle my stomach......somewhat!

I've been having a hard time with depression lately myself....I am sure it is partly due to the long cold and heavy snow falls of this winter. Really fighting this episode...

@@LipstickLady I agree..TROLL!

Yes it is and I have done that myself......You know your hubby best and it is you who understands him best. We all felt your pain at the time. That is all I was doing was giving emotional support to you. I am glad it is all okay now...A slight bump in the road a moment in time! We all responded as if it were us, as we have all had the same fears as you expressed. We were defending you. Maybe not in the best words but we were there for you. I am glad all is better!

Now I have read the entire thread. He sure did not say what he meant. And it was not fair of him to say it only two weeks after her surgery. But relationships have bumps and bruises and ups and downs. What he said and what he meant are worlds apart. But that is not for me to say or judge..... All the best in your journey hun.......Whatever happens in life remember that you are very important and should and need to do this for you and your health. And the rest is gravy!

@@gal friday and @@CowgirlJane my comment was in a moment of passion. It was how I felt as I read her words. I did not read the entire thread otherwise most likely I would have skipped the thread completely and not voiced my feelings of shock. However I feel that if someone loves you they do not say things that can hurt you so deeply. They can't take it back. It is out there and the result is that you always wonder in the back of your mind the what if's.... I know I would. But I am that kinda gal. Did not mean to come off calling all the males of the species pricks. They are not....

He said that to get exactly the response he did. He is a shallow individual who wants to test the boundaries of your relationship and maybe already has. Skin deep. What a narrow minded ,selfish partner. You deserve much better. I am so mad at even the thought that he could be so cruel when you are changing for the good. When you feel better about yourself and things turn around for you, we will see who can take the inner part of an abusive man. Keep going forward and onward with your goals to good health and well being....You may want to lose the excess weight that is being so unbelievably self centered and selfish.... Sorry..but what a prick!

Yes I have heard about him. Now there is one in Fredericton. Two in Bathurst. Finally some more help in N.b for these much needed surgeries.