Hi there! Tried the gladiator with milk today, it was better but still unpleasant just bought a sample pack of the syntax nectar, hoping to test that out tomorrow! I'm really having a hard time with this liquid diet, I feel so cranky and tired, can't wait til monday to get this show on the road!
I have been going to a WLS surgery support group and every meeting someone says something along the lines of, "well it is not like I am trying to be a size 6 or anything, I just want to be healthier." So am I alone in that I DO wanna be a size 6--or 4--or 2? I want to be the one that is expected to sit in the middle of the backseat because I am so small. I want to wear tiny little jeans and have the option of dressing trashy and still looking hot. I have been big my whole life and I want to be the little one. Don't get me wrong, any move towards health and any weight loss is a good thing. I know better than to measure success vs. failure by getting into a size that seems almost unreal to me now. However, is it OK if I WANT it? Like really,really want it? I know me well enough to know that I will Celebrate every pound lost and every step I make towards a healthier me. However, if the truth were told, at the top of the list of reasons that I am willing to allow someone to cut one of my internal organs into pieces and yank part of it out of my body through a slit in my stomach, go through the risks of surgery, and have my eating habits forever changed is because I am SICK OF BEING FAT and I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to slip into a pair of jeans whose size is one single, solitary number. In this group everyone is like, "oh, I just want to reach a healthier me, looking better is just a little extra." Can I call BS on that? I mean like big heaping, steaming bull $#!%.... I know this post may make me seem shallow, but I have never seen anyone jump up and down over seeing their cholesterol go down 10 points. However, be in the vicinity when a former fatty slips on a size small top and size 6 jeans for the first time and you will see some celebrating going on. They will be taking pictures and calling their friends to share the news. You might see a little dance or hear an "oh HELL YEAH". Ever see anyone act like that over that hospital lab report? I am not trying to minimize the awesome health benefits of losing what is basically another person made up of fat that I am carrying around. I know my friend of fat will eventually kill me if I don't leave her behind. I am looking forward to improved health, mobility, and energy levels--sure...but do I really have to pretend that I wouldn't have the surgery if I knew that my overall health wouldn't really improve and all I had to look forward to is being smaller?
