smitten4glitter

Again here I sit after having the same insane conversation with myself that I've had a BILLION!!! times, it makes me feel so CRAZY and disfunctional to have this same exact internal conversation, as to should I have this or shouldn't I have this wls. I must admit I was like...yup it's time seriously..it's time to have it done, I had abandoned all fear and thought to myself..self you can do this you NEED to do this your so young, blah blah blah. Then I read a post that for the life of me I CANT ESCAPE!!!! I don't know how to do all that cool stuff where you attach the thread sorry:( but anyhow the woman is pretty much in hell trying to recover from her surgery and has been an unfortunate 1%'er. So I have slowly slipped back into the I can just work out and eat better..ha who am I kidding? I know I want this sooo bad and need this soo bad but I just can not rationalize putting myself and my family through this. It's only the 3 of us my hubby and awesome 11 y/o daughter who has finally accepted that things will be good for me if I do this. I'm realizng that my own loss of my Mother has me paralyzed with fear that I could leave my daughter Motherless or caring for a mother way to early in her young life. For the most part I'm very hea;thy other than the weight thing;) and I know many of you will comment that I could get hit by a car and die that way, or that I could die from a comorbidty related diease. Urrghh I'm so tired of being so tired and pretty much don't want to give up but really who am I kidding. I'm ready to do this but soooooo terribly scared what "doing this" could mean for my family and me if things don't go as planned. Anyone out there that can shed some light or expereince I would appreciate. I have been off the baords for a week or so becuase i'm just so confused? thx

Again here I sit after having the same insane conversation with myself that I've had a BILLION!!! times, it makes me feel so CRAZY and disfunctional to have this same exact internal conversation, as to should I have this or shouldn't I have this wls. I must admit I was like...yup it's time seriously..it's time to have it done, I had abandoned all fear and thought to myself..self you can do this you NEED to do this your so young, blah blah blah. Then I read a post that for the life of me I CANT ESCAPE!!!! I don't know how to do all that cool stuff where you attach the thread sorry:( but anyhow the woman is pretty much in hell trying to recover from her surgery and has been an unfortunate 1%'er. So I have slowly slipped back into the I can just work out and eat better..ha who am I kidding? I know I want this sooo bad and need this soo bad but I just can not rationalize putting myself and my family through this. It's only the 3 of us my hubby and awesome 11 y/o daughter who has finally accepted that things will be good for me if I do this. I'm realizng that my own loss of my Mother has me paralyzed with fear that I could leave my daughter Motherless or caring for a mother way to early in her young life. For the most part I'm very hea;thy other than the weight thing;) and I know many of you will comment that I could get hit by a car and die that way, or that I could die from a comorbidty related diease. Urrghh I'm so tired of being so tired and pretty much don't want to give up but really who am I kidding. I'm ready to do this but soooooo terribly scared what "doing this" could mean for my family and me if things don't go as planned. Anyone out there that can shed some light or expereince I would appreciate. I have been off the baords for a week or so becuase i'm just so confused? thx

I LOVE Sephora!!! It is one of my all time favs..Never got into clothes I hate shopping for clothes, but makeup no thats my kind of shopping!!! Congrats

Wow thanks for all the input..I knew from the minute I started reading a few threads here yesterday that I had found a community of people who get me, so naturally I signed up:) It's been a great support to have questions I have...answered. You have all said something to me that I can take from and I appreciate that truly. Tracy thanks for reminding me to keep things in perspective. I know that when I talk to my "real self" alone in my own thoughts and in my own heart, I want this I REALLY REALLY want this. I just need that girl to show up more often and stick around becuase the girl in me that is scared is also the girl who can't seem to loose weight on her own or manage working out either. That scared girl is the same one that I allow to self doubt and do the constant belittling and keep me in the same downward spiral on a daily basis for the most part of the day. I just need to stay in that space that sees me on the opposite end of this battle, running a marathon and being stronger and fitter than I was or at least as great as I was in the Army. Again thanks:)

I'm very new to this forum, but have read some great threads. Today I stumbled on a thread that scared the hell out of me and is a complete refelction of why I have not been able to go thru with any sort of wls. I've looked into it for 3 years now, but I'm constantly haunted by the 1% of people where all goes wrong or at least one thing goes terribly wrong for them. My question is: How are those of you who have had or are already well on their way to having this wls able to take the leap of faith? I am genuienly a glass is full kind of girl and have a ton of moral support from my husband. I want this sooooo bad, but I'm just some damn scared that something can go wrong. My husband said well just becuase people get into devistating car accidents everyday some worse than others this doesn't hold you back from driving right. He's a smart one I tell you;) If there is anyone out there that could chime in on this I would appreciate it. I get so close to saying I'm just gonna do it but being that I REALLY want to know all aspect of this serious lifestyle change we are embarking on I get really scared by the 1%