KristiP

I'd have been running up and down the street in my underwear, holding the pants above my head screaming, "they won't stay up! They won't stay up!". Hahaha Congratulations on the NSV!

oh wow..........here is one I can paricipate in, even though I'm a pre-sleeve! I will not miss the following: desperately searching for the largest size of the one thing I found that I liked in the fat department being relegated to brown, black and navy, or clothes in some god awful floral print, horizontal stripes and tops/dresses festooned with ribbons, bows, sequins, big plastic jewels, glitter, sreen printed kittens and butterflies, crinkle fabric/ruching, and belts on plus size pants that do not fit plus size women. (I meean what the hell is that about? Putting a size 14 belt on size 26 pants? I seem to find this ALL THE TIME!) having my shopping trolley dissected and commented on having food servers automatically assume that I want dessert or the largest serve they offer having people (usually high school or college kids, but recently fully grown adult men) make farm animal noises at me when I dare to eat in public being too self conscious to go out and actually enjoy myself being afraid to sit on aluminium folding lawn chairs or plastic patio chairs for fear they will break being unable to find a nice bra in my size and being forced to settle for something that even Aunt Agnes finds unappealing being unable to find matching bra and panty sets in my size having to buy pants to fit my waist which means they bag horribly in the ass and legs getting stared at in clothing shops and boutiques that clearly do not cater to fat women.......even if I'm just looking for jewelry and accessories in the first place being too afraid to go to a public pool.......just to put my feet in........even in peddle pushers and a 3/4 top because people stare, whisper, point or just out right make fun i could go on and on, but there is only so much band width to go around.

I feel very fortunate to have a husband who is very supportive of me doing this (band to sleeve revision). In fact.....actuoally suggested I look into getting a gastric bypass not so long ago! We have been married going on 10 years now, and I know that even when things are sucky, when the chips are down he's got my back. There have been times when I ahve not thought so, but I must be honest and say that I do have some childhood/daddy issues that I am still trying to resolve. I personally cannot wait to get my sleeve, because I look forward to the day that I CAN do things to make him feel special. Probably TMI, but there is no way I can bring myself to innitiate intimate moments. There are a lot of activities he enjoys that I 'm not able to do so well these days - hiking, bushwalking, camping.....things tha being so big make rather difficult. Plus, I think he will enjoy having a wife who just has more self confidence and improved self esteem (I have zilch self confidence and self esteem is beyond poorly). That said, my husband will have some days where he's just going to have to be a little self suffiient and cook his own meals. if I need to get out for a walk, or I'm having a rough day with food and head hunger, he might have to eat the way I do. In my mind, I might be the one having the surgical procedure, but its still a team effort but we're a team and my surgery affects both of us. Just my 2 cents worth.

You look great! Awesome work!

I don't know if this is true or not, but when I first had my lap band in, it was a good 6-8 weeks before I could stand the taste of pretty much anything. My GP said it was the anesthesia, that it really does a number on your taste buds and sinuses and nasal passages? Anyway whatever caused it, once it went away, it WENT AWAY, and I sort of rebounded. Like, everything tasted 400 times better than I remembered. Of course you sound like you're much further out than 6-8 weeks, so perhaps it's your digestive system sending a secret message to your brain to make everything just smell and taste yuck, so it can heal and get "right" before being put back in the game. Don't know, but I hope it gets better for you! :-)

I don't want the stomach they take out--have seen stomachs, and they really aren't my thing!--BUT, I do want the lap band they're taking out of me! Hahaha. I'm serious! I want that band and port! The way I look at it, it's not tissue, I paid a LOT of money for the stupid thing, and every single person I know that's had gall stones and kidney stones removed have their stones in jars (or wisdom teeth!) which to me are a bio-substance if not a tissue. They all seem to think everyone wants to see and admire them. (I do think they're kind of neat...in a gross sort of way! Hahaha) so why shouldn't mynband get the same? Hahaha My band--whom I named Agnetha, btw, because she's Swedish --will hopefully reside on my bedside table in her own jar as a reminder for me to pursue what I want and not go with what someone else thinks I should settle for. Because that's how I wound up with her--I settled for the band instead of the RNY I was asking for. And here I am going in for a revision, so how well did me settling for something I wasn't looking for work out? :-)

Ooh I have never heard about the correlation between ghrelin and coping with stress/anxiety. If that's the case, if removing ghrelin from my body will cause coping problems, then I am sunk. Because I have an increasingly harder time coping with stress! On the other hand, I really think it's more to do with the stress in my life increasing a an alarming rate than me unable to cope......so maybe the flip side is that ghrelin isn't doing it's job in large amounts! I think each person will have a different reaction and experience and just because Wiki says you'll be unable to cope doesn't mean it's true. It's a risk I'm willing to take, but of course everyone will have a different perspective. :-)

Hi Bonnie, How great that you were able to fulfill your dream of motherhood! Australia is a whole different kettle of fish though in terms of adoption. It's not impossible....but it's as close to it as you could get. Very anti-adoption here in Oz. In fact, there is no longer traditional adoption within Australia. it's all fully open, where you pretty much incorporate the birth family as well. That leaves a really bad taste in my mouth, however hubby and I are lined up to attend an infant adoption program info session in October. We've already completed the required courses for the Permanent Care program in Victoria (similar to adopting from foster care), but again, a lot of interaction from birth families that themchild(ren) were removed from in the first place. My weight disqualifies us for all overseas adoption programs in Australia, not that there are many to begin with and most of those are on hold indefinitely or outright cancelled. Permanent care is probably our only hope.......and even then my weight has been flagged as an issue. I have had many I-have-had-enough-moments throughout my life. They were always followed by a diet of some sort, and I'd go into it with great gusto and work my a** off, then get frustrated when I was getting absolutely NOTHING in return. I mean seriously........6 months to lose 8lbs??? My doctors program leaders and personal trainers all told me I was lying to myself about staying on track. I knew I wasn't going off track and their accusations hurt! Nobody believed me, and so I lost my motivation and gave up. Repeat cycle over and over throughout the years. Nothing but surgical intervention is going to help me conquer this. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I want to look "normal" and feel normal.....normality is very important to me. But I also know that this is more about overall health. I'm sick of having sleep apnea and having to wear a CPAP when I sleep (can't go camping withoutna gen set!). Sick of having to take Metformin for my insulin resistance; sick of my PCOS and all it's glorious symptoms (which I'm learning will never really go away, but may lessen); sick of walking through a mall and having people stare or ignore me in a store; sick of not being able to buy nice clothes or look decent in the ones I can find. Sick of being tired all the time, being stiff and sore all the time, being ungainly and not graceful all the time. Sick of seeing what I see in the mirror. Sick of killing myself to get out of the line of fire of a camera. Just sick of it all. But I love this site. It's so active and full of positive people and loads of success stories........I fervently want to be one of them! I don't post as frequently as I would like (work gets in the way!) but I read the posts as they come through. :-)

I think shaving actually made mine get as bad as it is. I was 26 when I started getting hair under my chin. I was mortified. Started tweezing and it was a case of having to it maybe every couple weeks. Then I went on vacation to Florida with some friends, forgot my tweezers. We were getting ready to head down to the beach, and I could feel a couple of hairs. Neither friend had tweezers and I didn't feel like killing time trying to find a shop that sold them, so I shaved and decided to just do everything from the sideburns down. Big mistake!! The next morning I woke up to all this stubble, everywhere. Full on 5 o'clk shadow. I looked like I was trying to bring the 80s Miami Vice stubbly look back in style! My one "friend" noticed and made fun of me the rest of the week, calling me Goat Girl. Sufficient to say, we are not friends any more, and I will never take a razor to myself again. Too afraid that with the rate it's grown ever since that I'd wake up looking like ZZ Top. I'm convinced that shaving did something that mad my hair follicles go into overdrive. I've tried to not worry about it but I can't help it. And then the one time I was holding my friends daughter and she was looking at my chin then said "you've got whiskers like my daddy!". Right in front of a table full of people! Wanted the ground to swallow me whole on the spot. So now, I get up in the morning early, move around for about an hour then gave a shower, wash my face really well, keep a hot wash cloth to 'steam' my face and keep the skin soft (the hairs tweeze a lot easier, thus I don't seem to get as many ingrowns and when I do they aren't as bad as when I tweeze on "cold" skin) then go over my face with the emjoi, follow up with tweezers in a lighted agnifying mirror, apply some Pro-Active anti-acne, and pray that the hair follicles on my face just die! once the pro-active sinks in and dries I put on my makeup and do my hair. It's very time consuming. I spend over an hour every morning between the time I finish showering and head out the door. I'm too self conscious to NOT go thru this every morning, and similar at night, minus the make up and hair! Lol

Wow, that a beyond fantastic loss! Especially with pcos! If you don't mind my asking, are you a virgin sleever? I will be a band to sleeve conversion, and from what I'm reading I am expecting losses that are no quicker than methods like Weight Watchers (which I can do, but eventually run out of steam with it.....). Wanted fast loss is something I'm going to have to get past because it probably won't pan out that way. What's the old saying....wish in one hand s*** in the other and see which one fills up faster? Hahaha Good luck on TTC and I wish you a healthy happy pregnancy!

I'm interested in hearing about improvements in the facial hair side of things. I've got pcos, formally diagnosed about 6 years ago but have had increasingly worse symptoms since about 1995. I am in no way exaggerating when I say I own upwards of 20 pars of tweezers. I keep a pair stashed everywhere: in my car, my purse, my desk, nearly every room of my house, my husbands car (he doesn't know that though!), at my in laws.......forget the American Express card-I don't leave home without tweezers! Aside from the ingrown ones, I don't even need a mirror anymore. Any time someone looks at me too intently or too long I get really insecure....just KNOW one has sprouted, scurry to the nearest mirror the moment I can. I have noticed women with facial hair and so I just assume other people can see it on me, if I haven't yanked it out by the root. And what the h is THAT about? Remember when they used to tell us not to be too aggressive with plucking our eyebrows because you damage the root and they don't grow back? How come that doesn't work with facial hair? I reckon pulling them out only stimulates hardier growth myself, but I cannot leave the house with this crP on my face! I actually use an emjoi (made for legs!) on my chin, jaw, and throat daily and then go back with tweezers. Every. Single. Morning. And then tweeze throughout the day as I discover them. It's so time consuming, and annoying, and I just feel so unfeminine. I nearly die of embarrassment when my husband catches me plucking...... I've never tried laser or electrolysis. Waxing breaks me out. I shaved ONCE, and oh what a mistake THAT was.

As a fellow Cyster, I wish you all the luck in the world. Many women with pcos go on to have children. The desire, no, the bone deep need, to have children is what prompted me to go and get the band in 2008 (should have resisted the band; I wanted RNY but was talked out of it....). 4 years later I am still childless and now40. It's too late for me (now in peri-menopause) but not for you! Good luck and I will pray for your success with the sleeve and motherhood! Cheers!

I'm 5'7" too, and also with a heavier/more solid frame (always "knew" this but the guy doing the DEXA scan confirmed that for me a couple of years ago). My surgeon has set me the, IMO, very unrealistic goal of....drum roll.....59.2kg/130lbs. While that is a lovely number, I am sorry, it's not even remotely realistic for me. Even 150-160 would be pushing it, I think. So I've just nodded in agreement, and made a mental note to myself that MY goal, for now, is 81.5kg/180lbs, and when I get there I will see how I feel and reassess. Even though 180 is still in the overweight range, according to the BMI Charts which take into account absolutely NOTHING but your height and weight. Which makes the BMi scale good for nothing more than a basic guideline, and of no real use in the real world. I mean, what's he going to do if I don't reach his goal for me? Ground me? Put me in detention? Retrieve the discarded portion of my stomach and the weight I have (at that time) lost and put them all back in? lol. I refuse to set myself up for failure or disappointment based on a fairly arbitrary number. There would have been a time that I would have grabbed onto that number he gave and then beat the he** out of myself when I didn't get there, but I'm older and wiser now.....thank God! :-)

I am scared to set my goal below the lowest I can specifically recall being: 180lbs. I remember being that wright (summer between 9th and 10th grade, having starved and bulimia'd myself down to that from about 198). I still felt like the most enormous creature in earth at the time, but when I look at the few pictures of me from that summer, I look, IMO, quite normal. Maybe a tiny bit pudgy. My doctor suggested I would probably get down to around 130lbs........I'm sorry I can't see it. I cannot even recall when I might have weight that.....it must have 5th/6th grade or something! So I'm afraid if I set my sights too low, and don't get there I will feel like a failure. My way of combatting that is too start with a higher goal and adjust as/if necessary when I reach it.

Oh, yeah, I get that too! Here are some real, and recent excerpts from my life: I have my one per day can of caffeine free Pepsi Light with lunch, I get the whole lecture about how soft drinks are the devil and the root of all evil and how I'm just killing myself with that s***, that it causes osteoporosis, and don't I know that the sweeteners are basically a type of neurotoxin blah blah blah...." Ok first......it's my body and I'll wreck it if I want to (for the record I do not think one soft drink a day is wrecking anything) and second IT'S A BIG FAT FLAMING SACK OF NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! I also am a huge fan of this: I am having a salad for lunch with nothing but salad veggies (no cheese, bacon bits, croutons, nuts, seeds....) in it and decide to use my carefully measured 2 tbsp of salad dressing, which earns me the lecture from the resident self appointed health food patrol "Now see....that's where you're dieting all wrong. You've taken a nice healthy lunch and just wrecked by drowning it in that garbage blah blah blah.....". Alright first......it's MY lunch, not yours. Second, I think 2 tbsp of salad dressing over a gigantic bowl of lettuce and salad veggies hardly constitutes DROWNING of anything. Third, my dressing is balsamic vinegar and extra virgin olive oil, not the puree of a Mars Bar. Fourth and finally, you just assume that because I'm fat that my eating a salad is indicative of me being on a diet and thus I am wrecking the whole thing.......so you need to provide unsolicited advice and commentary by sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong and was not invited? Oh how I wish these people would take the lead of the others who don't acknowledge my fat existence and just ignore me. But no! they want to save me from myself.....but only if I do it THEIR way. It is this kind of history that makes me resist sharing my journey with them. But everyone is different and I applaud those who tell people without a blink of the eye.

I really hate the auto correct on iPad! Please excuse this things that make no sense......no idea how the IRS got mentioned! Hahaha

I don't want anyone to know, because I don't feel like dealing with the endless garage of bull**** I will have deal with over being too lazy to do it " the hard way", "taking the easy way out", "cheating and taking credit where IRS not deserved"..... You name it I will hear it. I work with a lot of people who are just snobs in general, but a lot of them are super health snobs/elitists. If you're not making dieting and hitting the gym a second full time job then you're just a big fat lazy slob and not worth the time of even saying good morning to. there are a lot who will not acknowledge my 'good morning'......but will acknowledge my thinner co-workers. Sad, but true. My husband knows (obviously), my mom knows, my sister knows, I suppose my sisters husband knows (I'm alright with that, he's a really good guy) but that's it. I don't want my dad to know because he already doesn't think much of me (no, really......it has been said, in so many words!). I absolutely under no circumstances want my in laws or husbands family to know. I would never, ever hear the end of it. I would never be able to eat or drink a crumb without being interrogated about whether or not I'm 'allowed to have it', I would always have to recap how I'm 'going', and endure constant criticisms of how I 'should be much thinner by now, surely'. Because that's how it was with the band.......until I didn't turn into a stick insect over night (because that's the ultimate health marker in this family.......if you're not anorexic looking then you are fat fat fat and going to die in about 3 minutes.) So, I'm not ashamed, but I just don't feel like dealing with all the a**holes in the world any more than I already have to! :-D I plan on telling people that ask that I'm having lady surgery. It's technically not a lie.....I'm a lady.....I'm having surgery. End of story.

Hi Squeaky, I'm new here too and in a very similar boat. Also had band in 2008, lost similar, gained back similar, and now just DONE with it (the band). So I'm, obviously, going in for revision. I'm on the fence now between having just the sleeve, and having the Duodenal Switch. I would like to think that I'll do well with the just the sleeve, but........I thought I'd do well with just the band too. I have found a surgeon, apparently the ONLY one in Melbourne who does the DS. He's agreed to do it, as the final stage of a 3 stage op. First stage being removal of the band, second stage getting the sleeve 10 weeks later (although I'm going to see if he won't agree to do it at 8 weeks), and then stage 3 a year out from the sleeve he'll do the DS, if it needs to be done. He doesn't think it will. I am not so confident myself. The more I read on here, the better I feel about having just the sleeve but.........I just remember how I started out really well with the band, and started having endless stuckage problems, sliming, vomiting, (the scale wasn't moving, at all)........ultimately I too figured out how to eat around it to avoid those painful and often embarrassing problems. I'm just afraid that the weight is not going to come off at a pace that I'm going to be happy with. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect to lose 10 lbs a week or anything, and i am aware that there will be some weeks that I don't lose at all. But I know that I am unable to deal with that scale not budging for weeks at a time, especially if I AM busting my a**. that's where I'm worried........because when I'm putting in 300% effort and getting nothing in return (on the scale and shrinking I mean....I know there are health benefits that one doesn't see), I get angry and frustrated. I suppose that is classified as impatience? I think expecting to drop a couple of lbs a week, as an average, is fairly realistic. Note I say as an average, so I know that some weeks it will be more or less. But I've been on the 10 week stall, and by the end, I was so angry! It didn't help that my doctors were telling me it was ME, when I knew it wasn't, and my husband suddenly became the food police and I wasn't even eating naughty stuff yet........talk about throwing in the towel! Anyway, sorry to ramble. I just wanted you to know you're not alone, up there on the fence! Cheers. :-)

I'm not telling anyone I don't HAVE to tell. For one, it's nobody else's business. Two, I dont feel like getting unsolicited and incorrect "advice". Three, I don't want it to be implied that I'm weak, that I'm cheating, that I'm lazy. I already has enough negative self talk in my head to deal with....I don't need anyone adding to it. And four, I don't want the unreasonable expectations that people may put on me. Because most people wont know anything about it and in their minds WLS = getting skinny almost overnight. Not everyone will lose 80% of their excess weight in a year. Were all different. My own expectations are enough to deal with. My husband of course knows. My sister knows; she's in the same boat as me with the band. It goes without saying that shell tell my mom who will be fine. My sister knows not to tell my dad (patents long time divorced). He will not be a supporter. And that's it. I only tell people I trust implicitly and those who know me know that breaking my confidence once means you never get a second chance to do it! Plus I all but write you out of my life. I don't ask for much from people just honesty and trustworthiness. But, it is a very personal decision, and I think it's great if people feel alright with others knowing.it doesn't invalidate how I feel about it.

I think right now, you need to be a little selfish and just worry about YOU. Don't worry about what he's thinking and feeling when he throws out reaction seeking behavior. Hes lost his side kick in a way. Youre no longer dong things that support his lifestyle choices and it makes hm feel ....well, i dont know what it makes him feel, but it sounds to me like there might be some co-dependancy issues there? Bottomline is, we all have to own our choices. I'm lucky I've got a really supportive spouse. Even if he doesn't quite agree with the method or route, if I feel that's the best way for me to go, he backs me up. We have our moments of course, who doesn't? Lol. But, I know that ultimately he's got my back. I wish you peace of mind, success and the ability to let him climb onto your wagon, as someone else pit it. Cheers!

Hey petite! Always good to see another yank around! Lol. What part of the States do you hail from? Im a Kentucky girl myself. I miss home a lot, family and friends the most, and cold Christmas's! Im very slowly getting used to hot Christmas, but it just feels so unnatural to me. Im in the Christmas spirit NOW! It will be gone, melted away, by December! Lol Have you met many other American expats? I've met very few, but a LOT of Canadians. They get super upset when people refer to them as Americans! Lol. I find it amusing; I'm not bothered in the least when people refer to me as Canadian. Sometimes I don't even bother to correct them. Depends on the situation. **shrugs** I would certainly appreciate if you would let me know about Adam Skidmore being able to do the band removal and sleeve in one go. For one, it will save me from having to undergo a second surgery; general anesthesia has it's own considerable risks, as does the surgery itself. second I wouldn't have to take another round of time off from work.....with the economy the way it is, no job is safe. No point in giving them redundancy ammo! And last but not least, I'd like to just get on with it. The sooner I can become a sleever, the sooner I can start working the sleeve! I'd like to be out of the soft and mushy before Christmas, only so the family doesn't ask a lot of questions. They don't know, and I don't want them to know. yet. If ever. My in laws are vehemently against any weight loss aid outside of calories in, calories out the traditional way. My issues have never made any sense to them, despite explaining it a 1000 times. To them it's just a matter of mind over matter, just press on, pain is good for you it lets you know you're alive!, pull up your socks......... all that jazz. They have made many a meal out of my lap band escapades, believe me! I haven't quite worked out how to PM on here.....still finding all the bits and pieces. I will soon as i work it out. Cheers!

Hi VJSlim, Thanks for your kind words! Yes I was lucky that I've not had any slips or erosion (nne known anyway...) but I have had one heck of a time with stuckage, for lack of a better word, and that is painful enough. My husband thought I was exaggerating about things getting stuck or just not going through. until the night I was having a 1/4 Greek yoghurt (stevia powder to knock the sour a little though). I was eating with a baby spoon (the one my mom fed me with, it's metal, and not even as big as the end of my thumb), and 4 spoons in, I was up and running to the bathroom. Hes hot on my heels saying, 'there is no way that tiny amount is a problem! I have to see this.....'. To this day he regrets that because i proceeded to gag and retch for about 10 minutes until what resembled a jellyfish came up. The look on his face! Looking back it's hilarious, but at the time I wanted to just die, of embarassment and also because I was so sick of going through it. And that was a couple week after my first fill. I had 5, or maybe 6 more fills after that, unbelievably! So that is one part I'm looking forward to with the sleeve, how different the restriction feels. I've been reading lots of posts on here and the more I read the better I feel about getting the sleeve. Less doubts and reservations about it now. Cheers!

I am a Kentucky native (Louisville), although I now reside in Australia. Still, you can take the girl out of Kentucky, but you can't take the Kentucky out of the girl! Go Big Blue! :-D

I think you look great! What an amazing success, your post is very inspirational to those of us who are still waiting for their sleeve (and who have so e doubts about their own capabilities!) I hope you have a blast on your trip, and that every activity is what you hoped it would be! Cheers!

Semi-Aussie here. Still working on Aussie citizenship but refer to Australia as home! :-) I'm getting a band revision to sleeve on 14 Aug at Mount Waverly in Melbourne.