rickgrimestwd

Well, I know I have lost weight because I can put on my jeans today. I do not own a scale and I have issues with using more like abusing them so I refuse to purchase one. Tomorrow I am finally allowed to go back to water aerobics which I am really looking forward to that. I have been exercising on my recumbant bike and walking the dog. I have been having trouble adjusting to the change of life style. I remember saying to my mom the other day how I missed dieting for just half the day. I miss the freedom of eating what I want when I want it; spoken like a true addict! Yet I am also grateful I don't have that option. The one thing I thought I would get out of this surgery was to never feel hungry again, what an idiotic thing to have thought but nonetheless I thought it. I feel hungry now more often than I ever have before. One because I can only eat a few bites and two before I was eating all the time therefore I never got the opportunity to feel hungry often. I remember pre-surgery getting hungry my response was to panic and then stuff my face because the feeling was so uncomfortable, foreign and anxiety inducing that was the only thing I could do in the moment. This surgery has caused me to face getting hungry a few times a day and it is getting easier. The thing is to slow down. I ate too fast and was in tremendous amount of pain the other day. I am physically all better, completely healed but mentally it's a jungle in there. I am greatful I took a full three weeks off from work because the stress of all the change can be a bit much at times. The first few days I was regretting my decision but now I know this was the path I had to walk. I had tried everything and given up, I'm a quitter, this pathway has no exit options. I can't get my stomach back, though it would have been nice to have had a funeral for it. It allowed me to eat and comfort myself when I needed comfort as a child. It was a good friend I just wasn't a good friend to it. I like that I don't count calories and if I chose to for some insane reason, I wouldn't get very high. The goal is 600-800 and sometimes that is a stretch goal. The only thing I count now is protein and I am going to saying it here because I say it every where else I hate protein shakes. I am tired of them. It's a good thing I love chicken and greek yogurt since it is my diet now. The foods I miss most are fruits and vegetables. I would love to have a salad and I can't have one, makes me laugh then cry. I also miss pizza, cake and right now chocolate, but I would love to have a chicken pecan salad even if only a couple bites and popcorn (went to the movies with a protein shake healthy but missed the popcorn). But what is really great is that my high blood pressure is gone, it left like a thief in the night after my surgery and is still gone. Also another plus is that it doesn't hurt to move and riding my recumbant bike is actually pleasurable. I kinda like all the change even though is it is scary, at least it's new before life was the same old thing and now not so much.

Well, that has been my experience always. I think mine is coming now because I am all teary eyed and the anger isn't there this time but that is because I am not at work right now being annoyed by idiots. Just warn people that you are pmsing and don't mean anything you say and run while they can. And right now I am willing to stab anyone but small cute (have to be cute) children for a kit kat, I need chocolate stat!

Well, now I can officially eat eggs and chicken, I am so happy. I have been quite fortunate that I haven't had any nausea or vomiting. I didn't lose any weight in fact it went up 4lbs but I doubt it is anything but water weight since I am lucky to get 500 calories in. Patience is a virtue which is most unforturnate since I rather be able to purchase it but oh well. It is a skill set I will by force acquire. I decided against getting myself a scale. I would become way too obessed with it. So the Doc said to start exercise, I hate the heat so I will be dusting off the old recumbant bike and taking it for a stationary spin. I have been also allowed to swallow my pills because crushing them up is completely awful tasting. I also get to go back to water aerobics in one week, so looking forward to that, I miss it. Hope all is well in your neck in the woods! God Bless us all!

I did some research before I ate the egg, I have been to the icu not for this surgery but another and not a great place to visit, plus my mom is a nurse and I ran it by her. Thanks for the concern. I was just really afraid of not getting protein in because I couldn't stomach the protein shakes.

No, they didn't, my mom is a nurse and I live with her so if she would've told me no, then I would not have partook. I went extremely slow in eating it, chewed it really well and wasn't able to finish it because I got full.

Well I am glad you can't isolate it keeps you in your head and sometimes it isn't always a nice or sane place to be, don't apologize for having to be seen with you. I am sure your family loves you and you have admirable qualities that would make all who know you proud to be with you.

I don't know if I am allowed but I live by the motto it is better to ask forgiveness than permission and I couldn't stand any more protien powders so I went slow and seems to have worked for me the egg went down nice a smooth

Today I am doing much better. I am not sobbing. I was an emotional mess yesterday and crying. It was all fear related though. I wanted to isolate and be alone but that is the disease of food addiction so I reached out to friends and asked them to come visit me today. I use to attend Overeaters Annoymous, guess I never got the annoymous part. But it really taught me a lot like not to isolate. I guess that is what I want to pass along today is don't isolate yourselves. Isolating is selfish, I love being there for my friends and I will not rob them of being there for me, everybody wants to know they are needed and matter. So let your friends and family love you and don't put baby in the corner, because nobody puts baby in the corner! So this is day five and I am sick to death of the liquid diet so my never compliant self decided to have an egg. I made one jumbo scrambled egg with a pinch of cheese and I added ketchup on top when it was done cooking. It was so nice to have food. I am really worried about getting my protein in so that is why I made myself the egg. It went down okay, funny thing is I couldn't finish it all, which made me laugh. I used to clear my plate at ihop when I had an steak omelet and now I can't even finish one egg. Now I am fighting the urge to buy a scale. Day 5 what do I think I am gonna weigh! I want to be patient and kind to myself. The weight will come off even though I have fears it won't but fear = false expectations appearing real. This journey is going to require a lot of courage and willingness to change, thank God you can fake both of those things when you don't have them at the moment, they work on credit so borrow big. God Bless all of you and best of luck!

Lol! I had my surgery on 8/29. I have a bit of stomach pain that comes in waves but nothing I'll die from, well hopefully

It's a challenge and yes I got to know my bathroom really well on the liquid diet. I was able to be distracted at work but at night was the worst and I reccommend don't watch tv with comericials, Olive Garden comericals are the worst, but you can do it. Only one more day of. I had to do ten, I never want to see another protein shake in my life, best of luck and well wishes.

Well, I am home from the hospital, yay! (I got to leave day 2) The staff and hospital were really wonderful but like Dorothy said, "There's no place like home". I am so thankful for my family and friends being so supportive. It is so surreal now, if it wasn't for the pain I wouldn't be able to tell I had it done. I say that because I haven't had to eat anything, so I don't realize I am taking in less to eat. Towards the end of the liquid diet I was so sick of the same thing I would not eat because the thought made me depressed or nauseous. So I still am on the liquid diet and looking forward to getting off it. I abhor vomiting so I have been really cautious as far as my intake of 4oz per hour. As far as the pre-op liquid diet I did cave on day 10 and had 2oz of chicken and 6 chicken nuggets, I just couldn't take it anymore. I have no regrets because the chicken was fabulous but I did force myself to vomit some of it up because I was worried about the food being inside me so close to my surgery. I don't reccommend my behavior to any one but I wanted to be honest. I am experiencing some pain but nothing my pain meds don't take care of. What truly amazed me was right after surgery my high blood pressure was gone. I was convinenced that they were giving me iv meds for it but no they weren't. I have had high blood pressure since I was 19 or 20 years old and now it just up and left me. It's just miraculous. I think it is going to take some time to adjust to everything. I did lose 13 pounds from the liquid diet so that is a plus. The one fear that has its grip into me is that I won't lose the weight. What if I did all this and don't lose any weight? That thought alone just gives me the creeps! Well, good luck to all of you on your journey. God bless us all!

My liquid diet is only for 10 day and then about 2 weeks after surgery. My only suggestion is to give yourself constant pep talks and have good friends and family give the pep talks to you as well, the more encouragement the better, good luck as well.

I am 8 days into the liquid diet and super surprised I have not cheated, I am so proud of myself. I am really thankful I have supportive friends and family that have encouraged me to keep going. The worst was day 6, I was extremely nauseated and had a horrible headache. However, on day six I left work early and went home and watched Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (extended version of course!). I had wanted to have crackers in my soup but it is not allowed. I started viewing those crackers as the ONE ring and I wasn't going to cave, but boy did I want to but. Those crackers stayed in the cabinet or going back into Mordor as I thought of it. I did better than Frodo in the end thank goodness. (refering to the end of the trilogy) So on day 8, I am pulling a Finding Nemo and I am just going to keep on swimming, the only trouble I have now is actually wanting to do the protein shakes and soups, I just take a few sips and I am done, I just can't bare another. All I want is water with and without crystal light and kind of gross but it's what I want Klaussan's pickle juice. I did get one shake down and a yogurt in so that is good. I highly recommend dannon's oikos greek yogurt 12-15g of protein and very satisfying. The hardest part is the lack of variety especially when I don't like to have all the sweet tasting stuff, but only a couple more days at this point I am in it to win. God Bless everyone on your journey!

Only five days left of my lovely liquid diet. I have to say it is not as bad as I thought it would be, I haven't killed anyone. I do miss chewing my food but it is worth it, I am worth it. I do experience headaches but it is nothing asprin can't handle. I have been very tired but I use crystal light energy and that keeps me up while I am working. I am looking forward to working out today, I have a gym membership at the wellness center at the hospital where I will have my surgery. I love water aerobics. I have always liked exercising it is just that at my weight I can only do about a minute so water aerobics is the only option where I can move for a couple hours consistently. I am so excited that I get 3 weeks off from work, I have to say I will definitely be finding a new job, that is half of the joy of having surgery is just to be away from work. I was born for retirement but my checkbook thinks other wise. So looking forward to all that is coming, good luck and blessings to all

Thanks, glad I only have 10 days, I am surprised how easy it has been. I thought I would be super miserable but it helps that I live with my mom who is very supportive and is eating healthy with me.

So happy for you, congrats on the weight loss. My surgery is on the 29th of this month looking forward to it, wishing you all the best!

Well, it is day 3 of my liquid diet. The first two days were amazingly easy. I wasn't really too hungry but today is a different story. I have a headache, tired and would like a cheeseburger but would settle for a healthy salad just to chew something. I did find a protien shake mix I like. I went to Complete Nutrition, the guy there was so nice and let me sample all the different kinds. I settled on smart smoothie chocolate fudge edition, it mixes extremely well with my almond milk and is even creamy like a milkshake. I had my physical today. I also had my first appointment with a psychologist (not for the psych eval). I have issues of resentment toward my dad and anxiety issues not to mention food issues I want to work out. I have gone through Overeaters Annoyomous and know from experience when the food goes away all the repressed issues come up. I want help to deal with all the chaos brewing underneath the flab and food abuse. I am very intrested to see where this journey is going to take me; looking forward to the highs and overcoming the lows. I am excited and tired more than I am hungry right now. Only 7 days to go, I know I can make it but I will most likely whine about it sometime of the time.

It's gross, the removal of the stomach. That wasn't pretty.

It's getting closer to my date and I am more excited than nervous thankfully. Luckily or maybe not so, I have had major surgery before where I have been cut open front and back ( spinal surgery for inquiring minds) and I had no complications, healed up very quickly. so I know I tolerate anesthesa well just not the morphine pump, hopefully, I won't be in too much pain. I am more nervous about the liquid diet and nawing off my left arm while I am asleep due to the food depravation . I am left handed so that would be a big problem. I am more nervous about afterward, like what if I don't lose weight? My mother says (she's a nurse) that it is impossible but that irrational fear is still there. I am looking at this surgery as the last option so if it doesn't work, what then? But for the most part I am confident it will work if I work it. I am really looking forward to eating less, I have done enough eating for a few lifetimes. I rather live my life fully now. God Bless you all, Love Linsey!

Hello, my name is Linsey and I have been overweight since I could form a memory. I am now 33 and fortunate to have the opportunity to have the vertical sleeve covered through insurance. I have tried and failed many diets and my last attempt at a 12 step program was helpful but not as much as I needed. I am really looking forward to the little rewards that are going to come, like having a lap for my nieces and nephews to sit upon, walking a mile and not needing an ambulance afterwards or halfway through, riding a bike, roller skating, shopping in a regular clothing store which would be a first, riding a roller coaster, dating, and my gut not rubbing against my steering wheel as I drive. I just want to fully enjoy my life and not the food, I have enjoyed enough food now and am ready for this tool to give me the help I need. I love reading all the blogs, it is amazing to know I am not alone in this journey. I'll write more later.