A Little Less Dave

Sleeved 8/29/11. I'm 2 weeks out now and wanted to jot down some things for others who are headed this way. Most of this may be repetative, but I guess its always good to hear it different ways.
1. Surgery was just that - major surgery. Don't kid yourself and think it's anything less. There is incisional pain from the lap sites, but it's not terrible. You will have your good friend Morphine by your side. There are the inconveniences of a JP drain - which dangles from a hole in your gut, but doesn't really hurt. There is a darn foley catheter "you know where." These tubes being there doesn't hurt, it just hinders you wanting to be more mobile and get back to normal. It's the removal of these tubes that you probably want to save up a few hits of morphine for. Don't fret - it doesn't hurt terribly - its just darn unnatural to have these tubes yanked out. Painwise - after you are home you are sore. I was off pain meds (because I used it all ) on Day 6. Didn't need it after that, or liquid tylenol did just fine. (Oh, the nighttime liquid tylenol is good if you can just nap!)
2. Weight Loss - you will GAIN weight in the hospital because they are pumping you full of liquid via IV the entire time. However, once you go home you will lose all that quickly. My admittance weight was 307. My go home weight was 313. My current weight (15 days later) is 280. You need to recognize how much of your weight is Water. Don't focus on weight loss at all during the first 2 weeks. Focus on HYDRATION. I would even say don't focus on Protein and all that crap. You can die from dehydration in a matter of days. It will take more than a month to kill yourself off by not eating. So, order of the day: DRINK. Gatorade G2, Water, Crystal Light, whatever makes you happy.
3. Eating - Sucks. This is probably the biggest challenge of this whole ordeal. In the hospital, you will be eating water. Then they give you some nasty protein to mix with the water. You will not be hungry. You must drink this protein mix with water to ensure you are capable of doing so at home. Luckily, the last thing you "eat" in the hospital is liquid pain medicine to make sure you can handle that when you get home too. Once you get home, you get to do your clear Liquid Protein thing... flavors of your choice. But remember, you will not be hungry. This is more an exercise of trying than succeeding to get your 60g of protein. Remember - this time is all about drinking fluids to hydrate. To be honest, I failed miserably at this stage and didn't get enough fluids and found myself in an infusion center at 1.5 weeks getting a few bags from a needle. Nobody said anything about my lack of protein even when I made a point of not getting nearly enough. NOW IS WHEN THE "HEAD HUNGER" SETS IN.... I didn't know what head hunger meant before. Now I know. It's watching all those damn commercials on TV for every food in the world and wanting it... in quantity. I now hate Papa John and Burger King's marketing department. I wanted to TASTE FOOD. Real food dammit. Not this liquid crap, not applesauce or yogurt or other "stretch options" outside the bounds of Clear liquids. I wanted to get in the car and drive to the chinese food place, or a fast food joint, or order a pizza. I would only be able to lick it and smell it, but I wanted it BAD. Here is how I cheated - don't try this at home.... I did get some egg drop Soup and ate a small bit in week 1. I gummed a few of those wonton thingies they give you with it. I didn't get sick. I think I ate a single noodle from a chicken noodle soup. I sucked a piece of bacon but didnt swallow it. Sad. Towards the end of week 2 the doctor told me I could start experimenting.... That is exactly what it is. You try different things. I found I could eat egg salad, but not scrambled eggs. I can eat tuna salad, but not tuna by itself. I have eaten (other than the normal greek yogurt and other good stuff): 1 whitecastle cheeseburger, 1/2 of a mexican pizza. Those are the worst things I have eaten and not thrown up. Throwing up was a huge scare for me. It's not as bad as you think it will be. You just do what you can to not repeat the experience. It is, in itself, a great learning aid. Now comes the HOW YOU EAT section.... You cannot eat too fast. you will overeat. you will be shocked at how small your stomach is. Eat a small bite, wait 2 minutes, eat another small bite, wait a bit... After 3-5 bites, stop. You will feel this sense of doom if you eat too much. Your stomach will start to hurt, you may throw up, you will feel an indigestion like feeling start creeping up your throat. Eating definitely is an experiement. Don't do it where you can't recover from it if it's not something you have experienced before. Be at home, with something to puke in if the worst happens. Don't eat and drive I am hoping this part gets a little easier with time. Until then, I am experimenting away. Also, listen to your head. It will tell you "hell no" to stupid ideas. The thought of a nice steak is mouth-watering, but there is NO WAY I would try that now... my head says so. I think week 3 or 4 is when I will start actually trying to hit my protein target.
4. Recovery takes time. I went back to work on day 8 (I sit all day or walk to meetings where I sit). I left feeling completely drained. I stayed home day 9, and went in day 10. This week (day 14) I am at work. I am tired. I have very little energy. Getting up in the am and showering and dressing makes me want to go back to bed. I get in about 1 hour later than usual. I take extended breaks (20 min or so) and just sit in my car with the seat reclined. Every day though is better than the last, so I do see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Overall, I am still in that "What the "F" did I just do to myself?" stage. I am lighter and skinnier, but am coming face to face with the challenges around eating and energy and drinking enough fluids. But, that does get better every day. The good thing is that I didn't overthink this too much... I didn't give in to my fears. I know this was the right thing to do. And now its just a matter of dealing with it. At this point I have no choice! So man up and do it....
Hope this helps...

Sleeved 8/29/11. I'm 2 weeks out now and wanted to jot down some things for others who are headed this way. Most of this may be repetative, but I guess its always good to hear it different ways.
1. Surgery was just that - major surgery. Don't kid yourself and think it's anything less. There is incisional pain from the lap sites, but it's not terrible. You will have your good friend Morphine by your side. There are the inconveniences of a JP drain - which dangles from a hole in your gut, but doesn't really hurt. There is a darn foley catheter "you know where." These tubes being there doesn't hurt, it just hinders you wanting to be more mobile and get back to normal. It's the removal of these tubes that you probably want to save up a few hits of morphine for. Don't fret - it doesn't hurt terribly - its just darn unnatural to have these tubes yanked out. Painwise - after you are home you are sore. I was off pain meds (because I used it all ) on Day 6. Didn't need it after that, or liquid tylenol did just fine. (Oh, the nighttime liquid tylenol is good if you can just nap!)
2. Weight Loss - you will GAIN weight in the hospital because they are pumping you full of liquid via IV the entire time. However, once you go home you will lose all that quickly. My admittance weight was 307. My go home weight was 313. My current weight (15 days later) is 280. You need to recognize how much of your weight is Water. Don't focus on weight loss at all during the first 2 weeks. Focus on HYDRATION. I would even say don't focus on Protein and all that crap. You can die from dehydration in a matter of days. It will take more than a month to kill yourself off by not eating. So, order of the day: DRINK. Gatorade G2, Water, Crystal Light, whatever makes you happy.
3. Eating - Sucks. This is probably the biggest challenge of this whole ordeal. In the hospital, you will be eating water. Then they give you some nasty protein to mix with the water. You will not be hungry. You must drink this protein mix with water to ensure you are capable of doing so at home. Luckily, the last thing you "eat" in the hospital is liquid pain medicine to make sure you can handle that when you get home too. Once you get home, you get to do your clear Liquid Protein thing... flavors of your choice. But remember, you will not be hungry. This is more an exercise of trying than succeeding to get your 60g of protein. Remember - this time is all about drinking fluids to hydrate. To be honest, I failed miserably at this stage and didn't get enough fluids and found myself in an infusion center at 1.5 weeks getting a few bags from a needle. Nobody said anything about my lack of protein even when I made a point of not getting nearly enough. NOW IS WHEN THE "HEAD HUNGER" SETS IN.... I didn't know what head hunger meant before. Now I know. It's watching all those damn commercials on TV for every food in the world and wanting it... in quantity. I now hate Papa John and Burger King's marketing department. I wanted to TASTE FOOD. Real food dammit. Not this liquid crap, not applesauce or yogurt or other "stretch options" outside the bounds of Clear liquids. I wanted to get in the car and drive to the chinese food place, or a fast food joint, or order a pizza. I would only be able to lick it and smell it, but I wanted it BAD. Here is how I cheated - don't try this at home.... I did get some egg drop Soup and ate a small bit in week 1. I gummed a few of those wonton thingies they give you with it. I didn't get sick. I think I ate a single noodle from a chicken noodle soup. I sucked a piece of bacon but didnt swallow it. Sad. Towards the end of week 2 the doctor told me I could start experimenting.... That is exactly what it is. You try different things. I found I could eat egg salad, but not scrambled eggs. I can eat tuna salad, but not tuna by itself. I have eaten (other than the normal greek yogurt and other good stuff): 1 whitecastle cheeseburger, 1/2 of a mexican pizza. Those are the worst things I have eaten and not thrown up. Throwing up was a huge scare for me. It's not as bad as you think it will be. You just do what you can to not repeat the experience. It is, in itself, a great learning aid. Now comes the HOW YOU EAT section.... You cannot eat too fast. you will overeat. you will be shocked at how small your stomach is. Eat a small bite, wait 2 minutes, eat another small bite, wait a bit... After 3-5 bites, stop. You will feel this sense of doom if you eat too much. Your stomach will start to hurt, you may throw up, you will feel an indigestion like feeling start creeping up your throat. Eating definitely is an experiement. Don't do it where you can't recover from it if it's not something you have experienced before. Be at home, with something to puke in if the worst happens. Don't eat and drive I am hoping this part gets a little easier with time. Until then, I am experimenting away. Also, listen to your head. It will tell you "hell no" to stupid ideas. The thought of a nice steak is mouth-watering, but there is NO WAY I would try that now... my head says so. I think week 3 or 4 is when I will start actually trying to hit my protein target.
4. Recovery takes time. I went back to work on day 8 (I sit all day or walk to meetings where I sit). I left feeling completely drained. I stayed home day 9, and went in day 10. This week (day 14) I am at work. I am tired. I have very little energy. Getting up in the am and showering and dressing makes me want to go back to bed. I get in about 1 hour later than usual. I take extended breaks (20 min or so) and just sit in my car with the seat reclined. Every day though is better than the last, so I do see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Overall, I am still in that "What the "F" did I just do to myself?" stage. I am lighter and skinnier, but am coming face to face with the challenges around eating and energy and drinking enough fluids. But, that does get better every day. The good thing is that I didn't overthink this too much... I didn't give in to my fears. I know this was the right thing to do. And now its just a matter of dealing with it. At this point I have no choice! So man up and do it....
Hope this helps...