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03/07/2013
Hi All,
I am fairly new to the site. My profile says I have been around for awhile but I hadn't used the site.
Unfortunately, It takes a long time to manuever around the site looking for answers even though this site is really appreciated.
The insurance question is a hard one for many people. Like myself I am trying to learn not only which ones cover WLS but about insurances in general.
When I started out I didn't realize such things like policies were differant state to state. The size of your group determined what was sold/given to you without your knowledge. There was all these games you had to play!
So if there is people on the site who are experianced and can help I know that would be deeply appreciated by people like me who have had a insurance nightmare.
Other questions are very much appreciated too as we are all in the same boat. We all have weight issues and have struggled with them.
Thinking about a serious life change like WLS is very scarey. It is so niced to be able to talk with others about life changing events.
I bet most of us "newbies",(people who are new to or have not gone through WLS), give those of you who help us a great big THANKYOU for your help!
Most of us do realize it takes up your time to help us and most of us really do appreciate it.
"A GREAT BIG THANKYOU TO THE HELPERS - YOU ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED"
Sincerily,
STILL Searching

Good post. Yes, it is hard to realize that skinny people have their own set of issues. You have realized something that most of us either don't know how to do or forget to do. That is practice being happy until it becomes a way of life. But, you have to admit that getting lighter will help a lot of issues. Less pain, less embarrassment, less health issues, and less rejection, so on and so on!. Although, you may as well be happy getting to your goal. The ones who have made their goals should be proud of themselves anyway they want to express it. They made a big change in their lives and if they want to dream of being sexy, a babe, or what have you that's ok too. Like you say " Everyone has their own self expression and dreams. But, of course It does help being happy any place you are in your journey.

03/07/2013
Hi All,
I am fairly new to the site. My profile says I have been around for awhile but I hadn't used the site.
Unfortunately, It takes a long time to manuever around the site looking for answers even though this site is really appreciated.
The insurance question is a hard one for many people. Like myself I am trying to learn not only which ones cover WLS but about insurances in general.
When I started out I didn't realize such things like policies were differant state to state. The size of your group determined what was sold/given to you without your knowledge. There was all these games you had to play!
So if there is people on the site who are experianced and can help I know that would be deeply appreciated by people like me who have had a insurance nightmare.
Other questions are very much appreciated too as we are all in the same boat. We all have weight issues and have struggled with them.
Thinking about a serious life change like WLS is very scarey. It is so niced to be able to talk with others about life changing events.
I bet most of us "newbies",(people who are new to or have not gone through WLS), give those of you who help us a great big THANKYOU for your help!
Most of us do realize it takes up your time to help us and most of us really do appreciate it.
"A GREAT BIG THANKYOU TO THE HELPERS - YOU ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED"
Sincerily,
STILL Searching

I haven't been told I was carb sensitive but I know I am. I have committed to doing a very low carb, high protein, high fat diet for the entire month of May after losing only 3 pounds in april. I'm doing 20 net carbs (carbs minus fiber) 70-90 grams of protein and the remainder of my calories from fat.
There are a lot of folks who say "a calorie is a calorie is a calorie" but I don't feel like it is the case in my body. Give it a try, see how you lose, see how you feel.

It appears the family dynamic is playing havoc with your emotions and I get that and understand your pain.
From a purely practical standpoint, if you suffer no complications, you can take care of yourself. I did it with no real problems and I went through the surgery on my own as well because that is what I wanted to do. I am very independent and knew if I didn't have complications, I would be fine as I am fairly strong and resiliant. Also, my hospital told me that if I didn't have a ride, they would help me secure transport with Access paratransit or something. My son came and picked me up so I didn't need it, but it was available to me. Perhaps you can research this.
I'm so sorry to hear that your mother is trying to make you feel selfish. There is a time to prioritize your own health, and I give you kudos for that. Do what you need to do girlfriend.

We should all treat our family members with atleast as much respect and kindness that we show total strangers. I think everyone is correct in guessing that your mother is being passive aggressive due to her concern.
Then again, we don't know your mother
Back off a bit, give her a few "Yes, Mama" and "I love you Mama" and don't fall into the argument traps that she is setting.
The decision to get the VSG and to radically change your life should be lauded! Embrace the power you have taken hold of and enjoy the ride!
WEEEEE !

It sounds like you both have a little anxiety about the surgery and this is how it's coming out, but it will all work out. That is so nice of your mom to offer to help care for you after the surgery. I agree that it is really great to have some help post-op, even if you could get by on your own. The first night, I slept on the couch downstairs and asked my husband to come down during the night to check on me (just to make sure I was breathing...lol...which was totally irrational but it made me feel better!). He also made some of my drinks and gave me my meds when I was feeling really punky. I really appreciated it and would have done the same for him.
I would definitely work around your mom's schedule. She is probably taking vacation time to do this, which is very generous of her. A few weeks either way isn't going to make a big difference in your success, since this is a lifetime change.
By the way, my surgery got moved at the last minute, and my husband couldn't get off of work and my parents were on vacation, and all of my friends (who knew) were working. My husband dropped me off for the surgery and met me in my room many hours later (he was there when they wheeled me in). It really was no big deal that he wasn't there sitting around twiddling his thumbs while I was in pre-op, surgery and post-op. The surgeon called him after to tell him everything went well (I gave him the phone number while we were in pre-op).
Personally, I would take your mom a bouquet of flowers or pretty spring plant and tell her how much you appreciate her help and support during this time.
Wishing you all the best!

Now that you've had a chance to vent (and boy, do I understand that need, sometimes!) it's time to get to reality.
I agree that it sounds like your mom is passive-aggressively expressing her worry about you having this surgery, and that's understandable - hey, all surgeries have risks and those risks are the FIRST and LAST things that moms think about - including my mom, and I'm more than 50 years old
If you do have the surgery on May 2nd, did I understand correctly that your mom won't be out of town until the 7th? If so, it's all golden, and she'll have the chance to see that you're okay, AND you will have your ride home. By the way, that is pretty normal procedure - you'll be a matter of a day or so since having anesthesia, and you'll probably have had at least some pain meds. You won't be at your best cognitively because of it, and your ability to respond to things quickly will be reduced so they want to make sure you get home safely. However, you will likely be just fine on your own most of the time. As others have already said, you'll be doing very little but sipping and walking around the place for a few days.
I get that your mom is making the schedule tough, but you have to remember that ultimately you're expecting a favor from her - family or not, she ALSO has a life and isn't at your beck and call, any more than your schedule should revolve around her. If you want her help, then it's right to accommodate where you can. If the schedule HAS to change because of insurance, move it out one additional week - I know you don't want to wait - heck, I'm not happy about waiting until late July, but the alternative is not good for my husband or me, so I'm sucking it up (and I've been planning this since last summer, too!). It's a compromise you can make that isn't a HUGE thing when you think about it logically. The alternative is talk to the hospital and arrange for late discharge, tell them you can't have an escort home until after 5 PM or whatever and ask what they can do. The likelihood is that there is something they can do if it's a question of a few hours. Then get a friend to come and get you after work.
Hang in there, it will all work out. Just take a deep breath and don't panic. There ARE options, you just have to think it through.
Best of luck!

So what I read in all of this is that your mom is scared something is going to happen to you. She might not say it out loud (but did) and making up reasons not to have surgery or postpone it is her way of trying to tell you she is scared (maybe)?My mom is very passive agressive and did a little of this. "How are you going to be able to live forever on such a little bit of food?" "I don't think it is healthy to eat so little and what about your congnative function on so few calories?" All her way of being scared without saying it outloud. My mom came around and stayed with me the whole time in the hospital and was at my house everyday for a few days to help. I think you mom will make it happen because in the end it is what is best for you and that is what parents want.

03/07/2013
Hi All,
I am fairly new to the site. My profile says I have been around for awhile but I hadn't used the site.
Unfortunately, It takes a long time to manuever around the site looking for answers even though this site is really appreciated.
The insurance question is a hard one for many people. Like myself I am trying to learn not only which ones cover WLS but about insurances in general.
When I started out I didn't realize such things like policies were differant state to state. The size of your group determined what was sold/given to you without your knowledge. There was all these games you had to play!
So if there is people on the site who are experianced and can help I know that would be deeply appreciated by people like me who have had a insurance nightmare.
Other questions are very much appreciated too as we are all in the same boat. We all have weight issues and have struggled with them.
Thinking about a serious life change like WLS is very scarey. It is so niced to be able to talk with others about life changing events.
I bet most of us "newbies",(people who are new to or have not gone through WLS), give those of you who help us a great big THANKYOU for your help!
Most of us do realize it takes up your time to help us and most of us really do appreciate it.
"A GREAT BIG THANKYOU TO THE HELPERS - YOU ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED"
Sincerily,
STILL Searching

03/06/2013 written post
Also, don't you love it when people won't look at you.
Very well written post kcorsino 14.

Good luck to you and don't be discouraged if you have to do the 6 month supervised diet. Many doctors in the United States are now instituting the six month supervised diets, nutritional classes, psychological testings, seminar's, etc. whether or not insurance companies require it. Their reputation is on the line and they want the best outcome. I have gone through it and the time goes by quick. I've been fat a long time and six more months isn't going to kill me and I lost 60 pounds in that time!
If you have to do the six months supervised diet, why not put 100% into it! Go low carb 40-75 - high protein, learn to not drink with your meals, learn to chew your food slowly and thoroughly. It's what this time is for. Surgery is a lot easier on you and more successful if you can start working on behavior modifications in advance.
I suggest signing up for http://myfitnesspal.com and logging in once a day to keep track of your water intake (try to get up to 64 ounces) track your food and calories and exercise. Can't exercise? Neither could I. I stood in place and walked for 5 minutes at a time and tracked it. I finally was able to fit on the Gazelle and could do 5 minutes, now I can do an hour and walk a mile and I haven't had the surgery yet.
The first time I went to a surgeon for WLS, I was became depressed learning about the six month diet. I ended up quitting. Second time I went to another doctor, and I couldn't write it all down, and I ended up getting pneumonia, and kept drinking orange juice and eating pretzels and even lied about what I was eating and quit.
By this time I gained about 60 more pounds for my third stint. This is a lifestyle change, not a diet or an easy-way-out, this is hard work, so I figured I would try working on changing behaviors now.
I wish you the best of luck.