Marimaru

If their weight really is out of control, I am not against this. I don't know how much kids are supposed to weigh at a certain age, so I can't speak to this family in particular, but I think that if you are lettings your kids be grossly overweight at a young age when you are supposed to be caring for them, it's either abuse or neglect, depending on the case.

35 lbs in 5 months is really exceptional. That's nearly 2 lbs per week. To the person you love who said "you could have done that without surgery", to me the point of the band isn't actually to lose weight. It's to not gain when we fall off the wagon, and to not gain once we make it to goal. It's a long term solution to a long term problem.

If you need a crunchy snack you could try carrots or celery. Maybe have a nice crisp salad with your meal.

The band is made for solids, but if you have irritated your stomach you need to go to liquids/mushies and give your stomach a few days to rest and let the swelling go down. After that, yes, go back to solids so that the band can restrict you.

I don't think you are too tight, I think you just irritated things. Even without periods you are likely to have days that are tighter than others. The weather can affect me, as well as my mood. Stress always tightens me up.

Well, your stomach growling doesn't actually mean you are hungry. My stomach makes lots of noise at all different times of the day whether I'm hungry or not. Sure, there are times when your stomach growls when you ARE hungry, but it's not really the same thing. Also, being "not hungry" is different than being "full".

I also think there are some things you'll need to consider about your metabolism. You say when you went off of weight watchers if you ate more than 1200 calories you gained, well, how much more than 1200? 1400? 1500? If I stay under 1500 or 1600 I'll maintain pretty well. If I eat 2000 calories a day I'll start gaining. It's not an effect 'the band' has had on my metabolism so much as a reality I've learned. Lose weight = less than 1200 calories per day, gain weight = more than 1600 calories per day. You can ask your doctor to test your basal metabolic rate, and your resting metabolic rate, and that will give you an idea of how many calories you burn per day just existing. I haven't had those tested, just kind of found my numbers by seeing what I could eat and what would happen.

In the age of "find someone to blame" along with not taking responsibility for

ones own actions, people seem to have forgotten that 'shit happens'.

Sorry you're so frustrated :biggrin:

If your doctor is refusing to help you, find another doctor. You pay your doctor, so if he's not doing his job, fire him. Call the office and ask to have your medical records ready for you to pick up. When you go pick them up, be sure to tell them you wont be coming back, and why.

I wish there was an update on that girl's story. It has made the rounds here a couple of times, and I wonder if that girl was able to do okay with it despite her mom.

I can't fit in most of their regular clothes anymore (woohoo!). The last time I was there was for a bra, because like someone else said, it's just hard to find a DDD. They had BIG signs that said "1/2 off everything in the store!". The bra was half off, but when they rang up the Spanx, the clerk said the sale didn't apply to them. I was in a hurry, I didn't have time to argue the point of "everything" and I didn't really think I could get them cheaper somewhere else in that mall for less, so I just bought them.

I had a friend who worked there, and I thought the idea that she HAD to wear there clothes, but they didn't give a more significant discount was completely ridiculous as a business practice, but at least you can write it off I guess.

I think if I realized that having someone sit next to me and constantly tell me what I can't have is what's making me want something, I'd VERY nicely say something like "I know you are trying to help, I know you are trying to be motivational, I know you aren't trying to nag. But I really REALLY need you to stop saying that, because every time you do, I feel like having a tantrum like a 2 year old, and THEN I feel like going and getting it because I'm an adult and so I can do whatever I want." If you say it the right way, she wont feel slighted for "just trying to help" but maybe she'll back off.

I'm unfilled and so I am counting calories like a mad woman. My husband is trying to be REALLY helpful, he's even checking the calories on everything he offers to give me, lol. But every now and then I mention how much I HATE counting calories, and he says something like "You just gotta keep doing it" and I want to slap him. He's walking a VERY fine line between 'being helpful' 'not doing anything one way or the other' and 'being the food police' (I don't know how that works into one line, but it does). I don't think he knows it, but I have to just keep telling myself he doesn't really understand and he's just trying to help.

When I FIRST got my band, I kind of had the full/hungry feeling, but it went away. My stomach makes LOTS of noise, but that doesn't mean I'm hungry, and when I'm hungry that doesn't mean it's necessarily making noise.

But, if you are miserable, definitely do something about it. At the lease, have it unfilled while you are looking for a surgeon.

Did you reflux during the night? Or did it go away? Maybe you just ate something that didn't agree with you?

Think of it more that your doctor wants your thyroid organ working normally, not that he's intentionally slowing down your metabolism. Your doc just wants your body to work right! :smile2:

Does your husband have any vice other than food? Alcohol perhaps? When my husband (boyfriend at the time) and I were talking about his beer habit, he was trying to explain that having a few beers after work really relaxed him and made him enjoy his evening more. I basically said "Pint of beer for you, pint of ice cream for me", and explained that munching does the same thing for me. It gave him a LITTLE better understanding for what I was going through. I really, truly think that this can only be explained to someone who has a vice that they deal with.

We also went through a period shortly post op where we were fighting a lot and have a lot of issues. I sat him down and said "we can't keep doing this, you have to tell me what is going on". It came out that he was scared that I was going to leave him. I said "You moved away from your family to be with me. I am scared out of my mind that one day YOU will decide to leave and go back home". His eyes got real big, and we've been great ever since (and after that got engaged and married). I recognize that the 6 years I've been with him and 6 months I've been married doesn't compare to your 36 years (congratulations!), but I hope some of what I said helps.

I just thought I would chime in to say, that M&M's are designed to be exactly the food (and I use that term loosely) that they are. The chocolate in M&M's is DESIGNED to be LESS SATISFYING than other forms of chocolate, so you KEEP eating them! I have not had much M&M's since I found that out.

If she says anything else (as you said you didn't want to go back an talk to her about it) I would very sweetly ask "When is your class on bedside manner? Can we talk after that?"

It probably depends on why you were denied. If you were denied because they don't handle weight loss surgery what-so-ever, probably they will not help you. It shouldn't cost more than a couple hundred dollars to at least find out the status of your band. I was quoted $175 for a flouro with an office out here, just to check it's position. Whoever is doing your fills should have access to something like that.

My understanding is that insurance wont cover anything unless it's deemed a medical emergency for it to be removed, and then it's because it's billed as "emergency surgery" not "lap band removal". I was banded in Mexico because I didn't have any insurance at the time. I'm still waiting to find out if the insurance I've gotten since then will cover anything.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you still go in for an adjustment, you just don't get pricked with a needle to do it. It sounds very interesting to me.

I would walk into your surgeons office (not call) and demand to know where you were told about this fee before hand.

I think I would wait until at least Thursday, but maybe a week has gone by to call. I think after that it's fine to call to see how he's doing. They should be happy that people like you care enough to do what you did.

I also agree that the doctor is an ass. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

My sister has a forum that she goes to for pregnant and new mothers. I mention it only because you're so active here, and it seems to be a good place to get answers to a lot of your questions from people who've recently gone through it. She said its whattoexpect.com.

My sisters are both very skinny. One of them has always had to work pretty hard to keep it that way, and the other had gained some weight, then got pregnant and gained a decent amount with her pregnancy. Seeing both of them struggle with it really opened my eyes. The one who'd been a skinny little teenager and then gained a bit with her pregnancy got tipsy enough to tell me (in tears) that she was afraid to tell me how much she was struggling because she though I'd get mad and/or I wouldn't understand. She didn't know how to tell me she hated her body without insulting me, since she weighed less than me. I said to her "I can't possibly know what you are going through, but I can do my best to support you. You KNOW what your body is supposed to look like, and I'm sure it kills you to not see that in the mirror every day, but you are getting there. I don't know what I'm supposed to look like, so I can just be happier as I'm not as big as I was."

flygirl, I hadn't seen your original post (sorry), but I was going to mention that you should have your doctor check the position. It was very nice of you to come back and report on this. I think it's very normal to get tight during TOM, but not increasingly so like you described.

Glad you got it all fixed!

I found this also and it was very interesting. My shoulder hasn't hurt since I've been unfilled for a week, but before that it would hurt if I got overly hungry, and hurt if I got overly full. Other times it seemed to hurt randomly, so I'm really not sure what *exactly* the issue is, but I was pretty sure it was relating to my band.

Many doctors have hard policies about how often they will give fills. I think 2 weeks is pretty reasonable, since fills do have a tendency to 'kick in', but I also get what you are saying.