I went to my surgeon's office today and talked to the nut and surgical nurse. The cheese and crackers luckily, did not do any harm. I am totally fine. So, now i am happily sticking to my Protein shakes and Water. I graduate to cottage cheese, soft eggs and yogurt on Thursday, which I'm excited for. They recommended I join an in-person support group to help me with my struggle.
The issue with me is not that I am taking my surgery for granted but that I have trouble remaining consistent and adhering to structure. I have always disliked structure and discipline. It’s just part of my make-up. Even when I go on vacation, I love to wing it and travel around until I find something that interests me. So... now that I'm having to be so disciplined and structured, I’m fighting it and having a hard time. I didn't realize how emotional and difficult this was going to be. I was somewhat flippant about the hard work this takes.
I cry everyday mourning food and am realizing what a hold it had on my life. I am so bored now without the food I used to enjoy. I’m happy, angry, frustrated and excited for my future – it’s such a weird string of emotions. I need to to learn to fill my time with others things, like dating, exercising, reading.. and so on.
I am very grateful/fortunate that I was able to have this surgery and I know that all of my feelings are normal and will pass in time.
Thank you to everyone for your postings and support.
Now, I’m off to eat my dinner.. tacos and rice crispy treats for dessert!