new_beginnings_

Grrrrrrrrrr.... men! I am right there with you. My hubby is trying to sabotage in a different way - he all of sudden wants to get me pregnant... before my surgery?? Umm yeah NO! I had to lay the law and I normally don't do that. Sometimes you just need to stand up for yourself.

I like the idea of bagging it up and tossing it all out but I know that isn't fair. We can't expect our hubbies to diet just because we got sleeved. It would be nice if they were considerate and ate that stuff outside the house. But they could say the same to us - take your Protein shake outside. LOL. I suppose it will be a test of willpower - but you CAN do it!!!

Oh yeah I've been hearing that one too from my husband and the parents... I mean geez, can I get myself together before I try to conceive a human life in this train wreck I call a body...

I know throwing all of the junk away would be mean and wasteful so I would never do that but I can dream can't I?

I'm not a therapist, but I think that he's gone way beyond "subconscious". What the h*ll does he think he is doing???? Maybe it's time for some direct and honest questions and ANSWERS.

My SO is clinically depressed, but even so that does not give him the right to be sooo unfeeling and unsupportive to the point of being cruel. We had a "lively" Q & A last night. That is the reason I didn't get back to you last night. The "air" is much clearer around here this morning I live way up here in upstate NY, but for whatever it's worth--you have MY support. Please, keep in touch. I care.

Valentina

Yeah I know how 'lively' our conversations can get sometimes too. I think he was just being selfish so I just need to get myself together and not give in to the junk. Thanks for the encouragement! It means alot!

I don't think its fair to ask him to change his eating habits because you have to. My husband is 6'0 and 141 pounds soak and wet. When I was 330 he loved me and now that I'm 230 he still loves and support me though he eats a box of little debbie snack cakes a day. We have asked them to sacrifice so much already. From our emotions, money for surgery, time, waiting us when we feel stuffed, that I don't think is fair to ask him to stop the pizza or Cookies. I (though we are in different stages) don't disconnect myself from tiny sweets. When my husband eats icecream and asks if I want a taste, I get a taste and keep it moving. It makes him happy knowing I'm okay with his less than stellar eating habits.

I'm not saying that I am perfect because I have and quite a few 'tastes' since my surgery but I think that he could be a little more sensitive to the fact that I am struggling with all these sweets in the house. There are a lot of things that I have sacrificed over the years including my health so i'm sorry if I seem like I am being insensitive about his junk food. I am working on my will power so hopefully it wont be an issue for long, also I get the 'dumping' if i eat something too sweet, so that helps as well.

I had to go to the other room post op to get away from the smells but sadly my DH refuses to eat diet/healthy. I cook his meals like he has always ate them, cornbread..fried pork chops..gravy..oh yeah and homemade biscuits on the weekend. UGH!! It doesen't bother me unless it's invovlves chocolate then I simply hide it and throw it out or I WILL eat that.lol

I've got mine eating baked fish and brown rice tonight, yeah I know, he's doing good so I will give credit where credit is due... I know what you mean about the chocolate... that is my biggest weakness...

My kids and husband still get all the junk they need, but outside of the house. Maybe just ask him for help until your cravings are better, or pick the junk you don't like. My family is having pizza right now, and before my husband ordered, he ask me if I would like to go and take a nice relaxing bath. I got the hint, so here it am. Let me know if you find something that works for you. I don't think it's about will power at first, it's about learning how to be the most successful you can be with your life and personality. Good Luck. I am struggling along side ya!

Yeah the problem is, I pretty much like ALL the junk he likes... I guess that is the root of my weight problems... It's really hard not to give in to the cravings when it's placed right in front of my face... I'm doing good though, I can't say that I am perfect but I am trying really hard not to give in to the temptations. Glad to know I'm not the only one...

Just keep reminding yourself that you are becoming healthier. Maybe he is just trying to test your will power? I know when I stopped drinking soda ( cutting back from a 2 liter of Mt Dew a day habit to NOTHING) on Jan 1st, hubby would buy himself a soda....but the longer I have went without it, the less he drinks. Yes, every now and then he will bring one into the house and I just want to beat him up and steal it from him but I keep remembering, if I drank any soda my streak would be over. I am on 4 months without soda now! Why ruin that for a 15 min sugar high?

That's awesome! I was off sodas from my band surgery but after I gave up on my band, I had started back drinking them. I have gotten back to the habit of not drinking any soda since my pre op diet but I know how addictive they are. The sodas don't bother me as much as the sweets, thank God because my husband is always drinking soda.

My husband and children eat all the bad things that I desperately want to eat, but you know what, I'm okay with it. My husband apologized at first, but I told him it wasn't necessary. I have to learn willpower and forcing the other members of my family to deprive themselves of things they regularly eat, hardly seems fair. My weight is my issue not theirs and it's up to me to control what I put in my mouth whether I'm at a restaurant, a social event, or at home.

You are so right and I am working on it but as you know, people don't change overnight. Thank God for my sleeve because otherwise, I would be pigging out right about now. :rofl:

I am so sorry, my husband was supportive even to the point he had surgery one month ago. It was hard at first before he was sleeved. First don't go shopping together, try to make a menu and stick with it. Do try to talk to him about how this is making you feel. If it continues when he is eating something, go outside, go for a walk, get out of the house. Also light candles to remove the smell. Just keep your eye on your goal to become healthy and lose weight. Contact me as I am also Birmingham and we can met or if you just need to vent.

That's awesome that you guys are doing it together, my husband doesn't have a weight problem so I don't think he realizes the battle that I have been through with my weight. Also, it's nice to see locals on here... as far as I can tell, the sleeve is not real popular in Birmingham yet. I was banded with Dr. Miles about two and a half years ago and I was miserable the whole time. I'm just happy I was able to revise and I have felt wonderful ever since. What area do you live in? I live in the Clay area.

Mandems mom, I hope to be like you someday, but until then I try to set myself up for success. My husband knows it is my issue...as everybody who sees me, but I am glad that they are willing to support me that way. Humor helps too! It's a change for my whole family. Thats the way we hang.

I love the fact that your whole family is with you on this, I wish my husband would get with it because I'm afraid that down the road, his eating will catch up with him too...

Where these behaviours always present (before you started the pre-op diet) or is he going out of his way to do these things? If he did these things before he may not really understand what he is doing. You should have a talk with him about why he feels the need to do this when he knows full well that you can not have the stuff.

Is he vindictive and wanting to torcher you? Is he wanting to see if you cave and then you may not be able to get the surgery? Sounds like he is trying to say something but doesnt have the balls to say in with his mouth.

How many days before you have your surgery? Maybe when he does these things walk away. Go for a walk or go shopping or just plain leave the room he is in.

I was sleeved on April 6 so I am just now starting to get back to being able to eat regular foods again, so I guess the point is that I physically can't eat pizza or hot dogs and yet he still asks if I want some... He doesn't seem vindictive so I don't think he is tring to be a complete ass but it is definately coming off that way. He has always liked junk food and fast food so no this is nothing new but like I said, I already asked him not to bring that stuff into the house and yet here we are with pizza, bite size brownies, key lime pound cake, and snickers sitting in my kitchen.

The crazy part about it is that he has been very supportive of me through out my whole journey, starting with the band. I'm starting to wonder if he is just being really selfish or if it is some kind of subconscious effort to sabotage me...

I honestly think my husband is trying to sabotage me. Went to the store today and all he wanted to by was sweets. Oh and I should mention that I have a huge sweet tooth so it is really hard for me to have the stuff in the house and not eat any. Before my surgery, I had the talk with him and told him that if he wants that crap, he needs to eat it outside of the house because I can't be around it. So what does he do the week of my surgery? He goes and buys some of those Pillsbury Cookies that you bake and makes them while i'm sitting there starving and in unbearable pain. WTF? Also, he is constantly eating all the stuff that I am not supposed to be eating in front of me and then asks me if I want some. pizza, hot dogs, candy, cookies... as I am typing this he is eating a stuffed crust pizza hut Pizza Hut pizza. Yeah, asshole, I know. I think he has no idea what I am going through right now, and how hard it is for me not to eat all this crap. Anyone else's significant other trying to sabotage them?

Crosswind, thank you for this post and I really admire your courage to put your pain out here for all to see. Even though I don't comment on most of your posts, I read them and they inspire me and make me laugh and I wanted to thank you for that. Hopefully this surgery will help us all sort through and recognize the emotional and physical bullshit that is keeping us fat and miserable.

:hug:

WOW! You look great! :Banane01: :Banane02: :Banane03:

So I dished up a bowl added a scoop of unflavored Protein. I got about 2/3rd through the bowl and just didn't even have the desire to pick my spoon back up. It wasn't that I felt full...it was just that I didn't need any more food in my belly.

That is so so amazing to me. (and now after leaving the table, I definitely feel full so my body signaled me before It would have become a problem AMAZING!!)

I totally agree with you, I am so amazed at how little I eat now, instead of looking for the biggest serving, i'm looking for the smallest... I'm so LOVING my sleeve! :dance:

So happy and excited for you! Hope you have an easy recovery! Good Luck! :hug:

I hope everything comes out ok! Sending prayers and best wishes ur way!

WOW! Awesome transformation! Congradulations! Love the boxer too! I have one that looks very similar.

I caught the reruns of this show this morning and can I just say that I was crying my eyes out because I can see parts of myself in some of those people. I kinda had a moment of awakening because while I know I have a problem with food, I never really thought about it in terms of an addiction. I have never went to the extreme like some of the people on there, and yet I still know that I have issues with food and I will definately be watching the rest of the season. If you haven't seen it yet, you need to check it out... very moving...

WOW! U look AWESOME! Keep up the good work!

Congradulations! Hope all continues to go well for you!

One of my friends at work used to always say that people were going to start saying I was bulimic b/c I always had to run to the RR during meals. It sucked a lot. All of my lunch friends have said to me at least once that they were worried about me, etc. Damned LB.

It's unbelievable to me that I have felt so much better since my sleeve surgery... It's only been a week and a half but I guess when everyday you are used to dealing with getting 'stuck' on any kind of regular food and most of the time spitting it back up, even the post surgery pain and gas is better than that. Even though I can't eat alot right now and sometimes I get those weird cramps when I eat certain things, I have not, for one minute, regretted going through with the revision. I can tell this is the start of a beautiful relationship!

Thanks for responding... First, congratulations on your sleeve. I never imagined it would be this hard to decide what to do.... But everything you said made complete sense. I'm about 98.9% I'm gunna do this. Unless the surgeon says I have no other choice beside RNY... Like you said, in the future I could always take it one step further if I really had no luck with the sleeve. Sure it wouldn't be ideal to have more than 1 WLS, but once RNY is done it's really done....

Thank you and your not alone in this; it was a very hard decision for me too seeing as I already 'failed' with the band so I wanted to make sure that I was not setting myself up to fail again. It's true that people loose alot of weight quickly with the bypass, but I would much rather loose it a bit slower and keep it off. I don't really see a reason why your doctor would tell you that the RNY is your only choice. If he does, I would definately get a second opinion if you make up your mind to go with the sleeve. Keep us updated and good luck!

Hi Wendy,

I just went through the same argument myself and also posted a topic about it. I had a band that did not work as I thought it would so I was faced with either gain my weight back and have nothing to show for that stupid band or have a revision surgery. I fought with myself for a few days because I was also told that the sleeve might not be a good choice for me since I was unsuccessful with the band but I just could not imagine having the RNY knowing that I want to have children in the near future (even though they say it would be fine). Also I personally know several people that had the bypass and some were successful and some were not. I decided that the RNY would be my last resort since the sleeve can easily be changed to the RNY. Once you have the bypass, that's it. Most doctors won't even atempt to reverse it so I wanted to have the sleeve so that I can try to have a somewhat normal life after the weight loss and not have to worry about dumping syndrome or Vitamin deficiencies (as bad). After scouring these pages and lots of advice from people on here, friends, and family, I made my decision to go with the sleeve. I was sleeved on 4/6 after only a short wait because my current insurance did not require me to do anything. So far I am really happy with my decision. The first few days after surgery were hell but it gets better everyday. Only you can decide what decision is best so research and make an educated choice. Good luck and best wishes!

Monica

I am also in school right now and my surgery was last week. I missed last weeks classes but was able to go back this week. I know everyone is different but the worst of my recovery was until about 4 days after surgery. After that I started feeling much better and was able to do more. I still get tired after some exertion but it's getting better everyday. If you are in clinicals or something of that nature, I will definately say that it will be harder for you to do that because for the first week, it took all my energy just to shower and dry my hair. If you are in regular class (lecture) then you shouldn't have any problems. Good luck and best wishes!

I would also love to know if the compression garmets work before I shell out the $50 - $100 for one. Thanks for this topic!

AWESOME!!! Keep up the good work! I hope to be celebrating the same way soon!

I currently have the Implanon, had it now for almost the 3 years. I can say that I thought it was perfect for a long time untill I started noticing that the little bit of stray facial hair that I did have started getting to be more and more. The next year when I went to my OB/GYN, I asked her about it because I thought it was suspicious that it happened after I got the implanon. She told me that it has nothing to do with that and I took her work for it because I thought that she wouldnt lie. Recently, I started researching it because I was having really irregular periods (none for 6 months- a year, then having one for over a month) and I saw alot about the irregular periods (of course) but I also saw that alot of people had difficulty losing weight or weight gain, FACIAL Hair growth, and also a sensitivity to viruses. I can tell you after reading that, I could really see that stuff being true after reviewing my life for the past 3 years. You don't really put two and two together because it seems like such an insignificant thing but I kind believe it has been a source of problems for me. Back when I had it put in I did read on the pamplet that it had not been tested on people over a certain weight so I don't know how much that had to do with my problems. I would definately do as much research as you can online and talk to your doctor before deciding. Hope this helps! Best wishes!

Monica

Barb, I can tell you that for my band surgery, I wanted everybody's support and I though that the more people that knew about it, the more support I would have. The second time around with my sleeve revision, I only told a few close family members and friends. I guess because I realized that I don't want to depend on other people for support. It should come from with in, especially after what we have been through with the band. I understand that your daughter might not agree with your decision, my dad didn't either, but she will come around and I would not change my decision based on one persons opinions. It might take a while but she can learn to be supportive without agreeing with your decision, just like my dad was for me. Good luck and best wishes!

Lets see, had my surgery on the 6th, wensday, thursday I was able to go home after trying some full liquids at the hospital. I would say that the gas pain has been the worst for me but my surgery was a little more indepth since I had my Realize Band removed at the same time. I have been fighting to get in liquids, much less Protein but I guess that is to be expected. Other than some slight depression, I feel good considering all that my body has been through. Stopped pain meds on Thursday and haven't been doing anything but laying around (which is probably the reason im getting depressed). I guess i'm so ready to get a somewhat 'normal' life back it's really hard for me to lay around and do nothing. Also my stomach is so temperamental and it makes me not want to eat or drink which is depressing because I know I am only doing myself harm. I hope this will pass soon... Good luck to everyone that just had surgery, may we all have speedy recoveries...