tink128

I came into recovery 3 years ago for co dependency. I have been married to a rage aholic for 15 years and my marriage was over! I was done with the craziness and the violence and I had 2 small children to protect. So I got help! 3 years ago last week I started recovery and my whole life changed! Since then I have been collecting coins for over eating. I was banded on feb 13 2008. Today I am still married. My husband is in recovery and God is using us mightily today in marriage ministry! I did secular meetings for years but always felt that there was something missing for me. In Celebrate recovery they make no qualms about naming Jesus Christ as the higher power and the recovery principles are biblically based. I dont know if u know the Lord as your personal savior yet but I encourage you to find a celebrate recovery meeting near you. You can check out their website at www.celebraterecovery.com. Everyone is welcome there!Dont get down on yourself remember God expects only progress not perfection and you are on a journey. There is no quick fix! Let me know what you thought about celebrate recovery after you attend!

Yes we do and I actually lead that group! We are a small group of ladies about 5-7 but we are all a great support to eacholther inside and out of group I am glad to meet you keep in touch!

Im having trouble, and I hope that somebody can help. I was banded about 2 1/2 months ago and am having trouble losing weight. I'm down 12 pounds, but I know that I can do better. The problem is that,truthfully, and it is so hard to type this...I still rely on food as my God sometimes. For example, anxiety, stress, and hurt feelings are often my triggers to eat. When I feel that sometimes seemingly uncontrollable urge to "eat over " these feelings, often I will stop and offer up a prayer. Sometimes this works, often it doesn't. Although I know that prayer changes/fixes things/lives PERMANANTELY...chocolate makes me feel better within 5-10 minutes. Long story short, food is still a huge addiction for me. I know that this burden will only be removed by God. How can I surrender this to God, while also taking personal responsibility to do allof the things necessary to be successful. For example, I can push myself for days, or maybe weeks on end to exercise...but when I reach the end of myself and feel like I can't go to one more aerobics class, what does surrendering this to God look like. I'm still the one who has to physically drag myself to the gym. Does what I'm asking make sense to anybody? I

True surrender takes only the willingness to do it! The rest is a process that you will go through with God at the helm that may take longer for you than others. Try not to compare yourself to the other weight losses on this website Remember that you are a unique creation and that your struggle is a personal one meant only to be dealt with God and you alone. Dont be so hard on yourself It is that condemnation that will keep from going to God in the first place. God has given you a wonderful tool to help you with your addiction, now you must place your full trust in Him that He will provide for you only the amount of food you need to feel satisfied. Practically, try waiting for for your stomach to signal physical hunger before putting food in your mouth and eat only half of what is on your plate and walk away from the table to busy yourself with cleaning or dishes. This helped me greatly in the beginning when I was struggling with whether or not I was truly hungry. Remember God loves you so much and He is well pleased with you coming to Him with your issue of food addiction. Depend on Him alone HE will supply all of your needs!

When I found out I was pregnant, I did not think of what was growing inside me in terms of a fertilized egg, fetus or anything else. It was our baby, our child, pure and simple. Aborting a child would never, in a million years be a consideration for me. It is just not something I would do, especially knowing how many couples are out there that cannot conceive and would love to have that child if for whatever reason I chose not to keep it.

However, that is my personal belief, and one that I believe strongly in. But, I don't believe I have the rights to impose my beliefs on others. They feel just as strongly about what they feel is right as I do about what I feel is right. Just as I don't want them forcing their beliefs on me, I refuse to force mine upon them. I may not agree with their choice, but I will defend their right to make that choice.

As far as the father goes, I too knew a man who got a woman pregnant. She had an abortion and did not even tell him she was pregnant until after the abortion. He was devastated. He would have happily taken responsibility for and raised the child. There were no risks for the mother had she carried the child to full term. She just didn't want it and disposed of it without any consideration for the father. It may be her body, but it is both of their's child. He had as much to do with the creation of it as she did. The father has just as much right to determine what the outcome of the pregnancy will be. He should not be punished just because he is male and not created to be able to carry a child himself. I don't feel like an abortion should be performed without the father's consent as well as the mother's. Of course, if we are talking about rape or something, that is entirely a different story.

How come its Ok for the law to be in favor of killing a baby and not protecting them?

Pro-life pregnancy counseling centers, generally staffed and run 100% by volunteers (including the doctors and nurses) and 100% free, dramatically outnumber abortion clinics in the US (remember that the abortion clinics are a huge profit-making enterprise and these pro-life centers are funded by donations and run by volunteers). Any pro-life center will offer to any pregnant woman, free, resources to keep her baby (along with this, these centers provide clothing, baby items, formula, etc.) or arrange for adoption. There are thousands of homes for unwed mothers set up across the country. These organizations just simply don't get the "press" that Planned Parenthood does. Believe me, pro-lifers are NOT doing nothing. They do put their money (and their feet and their lives) where their mouth is.

I am aware of this and have been involved with pregnancy centers and prolife rally's but it still doesnt change the fact that adoption in this country and abroad is very expensive. We do have to lobby laws that will prevent attorneys from charging exhorbitant rates to couples who are willing to provide a loving home for children. Without this change couples will not be able to adopt those babies that we are encouraging women to have and thus the women will be discouraged out of giving their babies up with the fear they will not have a good home or any at all! My husband and I have been in the adoption process for 18 months its expensive and a very difficult process! I do believe like you though that the press is one sided favoring planned parenthood and birth control over these wonderful organizations. Its very good to be as passionate about what you believe GadgetLady but what I have learned is if we listen we can learn alot from what the other side says that can better our position in helping women and children. I commend you for your willingness to defend this issue. I share your passion!

My opposition to banning abortion is based on the idea that the government can interfere in a woman's life.

This right to rule a woman's life is is based on the belief of some people, that the government should control a woman by telling her what she must do under any (or practically any) circumstances in the event that she becomes pregnant.

Some people believe that it is correct for the government to intervene in women's lives because it may protect the life of the fetus. In fact they believe that in each and every case of pregnancy, a woman should be forced to continue the pregnancy, no matter what the circumstances or conditions are that could endanger the life of the woman. (Although some believe that certain exceptions should be permitted, i.e., rape or incest.)

The people who believe in taking women's right's away in this matter, want to be the decider in any and all cases. This faith driven belief is understandable since they believe that they are saving lives. Innocent lives. However that belief is not shared by everyone and not even shared by some scientific studies. There is huge controversy surrounding when life begins. But that is not the issue as far as I am concerned.

The issue is that the government is a faceless entity, that has no powers of reason or reasonable thought or ability to determine whether the fate of the woman is truly in jeopardy or not. It is unconscionable for us to think that it is right or fair for this horrendous decision to be put into the hands of the government.

In fact, a decision of this magnitude, of this importance, of this complexity, of this extremely personal nature, has no business being made by the goverment, the right to lifers or religious leaders or the Pope or anyone else but the people who are directly involved.

Some of you say that you have no desire to take women's rights away but that is exactly what you are wanting to do. You are wanting to make this hugely personal and life changing decision for all women to in effect, be yours. Never mind the situation or the people who are actually involved. You believe that you are saving lives and that saving the life of a baby trumps everything.

If your issue is truly to save lives, then I say go help these women you want to control. Help provide thousands and thousands of women the needed education about sex and birth control. For those who unintentionally become pregnant, convince them that you have a way to save their lives and the lives of their babies. Then come through on your promises.

Once you do that, and you have provided clear and meaningful ways to help the thousands of women who find themselves in the unfortunate circumstance of not being able to handle an unwanted and unplanned pregnancy, then you will be able to actually back up your beliefs in a very real and viable way. Thousands of babies lives will be spared due to your assistance. It will be a new day in this country and one where we can all hold our heads up high, a day where no one is casting aspersions on the unfortunate women who are pregnant without any kind of support. Those women who are desperate and in deep dispair. Yes, lives can be saved.

But if you believe that making abortion illegal will stop all the abortions, you are wrong. It will prevent some abortions and save some lives, but they will be a drop in the bucket compared to what the number is that you could save if you actually worked out financial, educational and practical ways to help all of these women. Organize a movement. You can even get the government involved. You can help women and save unborn babies and both will save lives. Outlawing abortion does not accomplish what you say that you want.

We know that. We've seen the babies in trash cans. We've seen women who have committed suicide when abortion was illegal and was not readily attainable. We've seen the millions of cases of horrible child abuse heaped on innocent children by the emotionally unstable parents of children who were not wanted.

Let's get real and help women. Let's stop treating pregnant women like they are carrying a commodity that the government can make decisions about. If you really want to save lives, this is how you'll do it. If you just want to control women and make them do your bidding, with utterly no regard for their personal circumstances, then keep on opposing women's rights. Keep on trying to make the medical procedure of abortion illegal.

Points very well taken BJean. I do agree that we (the prolife movement)need to be more involved at the personal level to make adoption an easier and less expensive process in this country. If it was I think this would be a huge benefit for those women who may consdier an abortion as their only option because it is more convenient and less expensive. So lets take the advice pro-lifers right from the mouth of the other side and get active! I think those were alot of really great suggestions BJean! Thank you for your insight!

WOW GadgetLady we do disagree on something! I have read every one of your posts and BJeans and I can honestly say I didnt think we would separate on any issue. I am pro life, against euthanasia for all the same reasons GadgetLady mentioned but I am pro death penalty. However I think you may get varying responses for both sides of the fence on all those separate issues. Interesting question pearlygirl!

To all those with upcoming surgeries, GET EXCITED! Remember the post op effects are very short lived compared to the wonderful journey you are about to embark on even if there are little bumps in the road! Follow your doctors advice and remember to have things like tums, gas x, Vitamin Water, crystal lite, liquid tylenol, Centrum chewable vitamins, chewable Calcium, and colace (a laxative) stocked in your home at all times. I am 4 months post op and just hit a weight loss of 56 pounds (half way there) and although I continue to have problems with bowel movements I do not regret having this surgery for 1 second! I am down from a size 22 to a size 14/16! Remember there is a great light at the end of this tunnel!

I actually was remembering a song when I wrote "two hearts beat as one"... in the context of my post, it was a figure of speech, a romantic ideal and a sweet thought. I've had babies. I have had the initial guesses of whether it's a boy or girl based on whether the heartbeat is rapid or slower. I didn't just fall off the turnip truck.

It's interesting that you would choose to defend against the meaning of that figure of speech but you want us to expect "separate" to mean whatever you and them good ole' boys think it should mean.

Whatever.

tink: There's no doubt that you and I disagree on this topic. It's obvious that you are as passionate about your beliefs as I am mine. That's okay with me. You have the freedom to make the choices you believe in and so do I, right now.

However, you feel it is the right thing to do to take mine away when it comes to what you believe in. I think you should not have that right. And it is just as important to me as it is to you. Or maybe even more so.

We are hardly a pen stroke away from changing the law on abortion, but with the Supreme Court that we have now, it is probably only a matter of time. Trust me, I will organize the troops, march on Washington, lobby Congress, and do everything in my power - short of killing those who disagree with me - to keep women's right to choose, the law of the land.

kimaly: I am very offended that you have accused me of just wanting to argue. I hate to argue. But I do believe that I have rights that I absolutely must fight for. And this issue is not the only issue I believe in. Obviously whoever is president and the majority in congress have a lot of power and I will also fight to get people elected who share my beliefs. It may be offensive to you, but it is vital to me that my rights and those of other women not be taken away.

Please understand that I will would also fight just as hard if the government wanted to tell women, under any circumstances, that they had to have an abortion.

Touche BJean You and I have been on many posts always on opposite sides of the fence however unlike the last person I do not find you argumentative at all. Only as passionate as I am on certain topics. Thanks to what I consider God given rights in this country we are able to express our views openly and respectfully to eachother as we have even though we may disagree. I actually enjoy reading your posts and gadget Lady's I find you both very classy ladies!

tink the great thing about your situation was that you were able to make a choice. What if the government decided that under your circumstances, you absolutely HAD to have an abortion?

You may think that sounds like an impossible scenario, but it is not. When the government gets involved, and I don't care whether it is the state or federal government, it is no longer a personal medical decision anymore. And if something happened, let's say an influx of millions of refugees after a natural disaster, and the government decided that rather than preventing abortion, they required that a woman must have an abortion unless the baby would be born into a household with two parents, do you think that would be a good thing?

I don't think many people would be very happy about that. Actually I don't know anyone who would embrace a law like that. And to me, it is just absolutely wrong for the government to make these kinds of decisions for women and their unborn babies, whether the government decides that a woman must have an abortion in a particular case, or whether a woman must not have an abortion in a particular case.

I think it is great that you chose to keep your child. Very admirable and a beautiful thing. I also think that those women who choose to give their children up for adoption so that their children can have a better life than they can provide, is also a wonderful thing. And in this country both of those possibilities exist and women are smart enough to make these life changing decisions based upon what they believe is best.

It is completely wrong for the government to force women to do what the government (made up of who? Supreme Court justices, Presidents, Congress, Judges?) believes women faced with such decisions should do.

This question is too important for a few people to make a ruling that impacts all women and their medical, perhaps life threatening, decisions. That is completely wrong. And it goes against everything that this country stands for.

Whether you believe women should have abortions is beside the point. No woman is required to have an abortion against her wishes at this point in time. (Let's hope it never comes to that.) On the other hand, neither should a should woman be prevented from making a decision that she and her doctor believe are in her best interests, even if it means that she must have an abortion.[/quo

We are only pen strokes away from the government telling us that we must have abortions because when you devalue life at any level anything is game!

well i'm sure this will make some of you angry but so be it: women shouldn't use it as birth control, and alot do. I would never have one, but i can see sometimes maybe feeling you have no choice, life and death and all. so many people have brought up the rape thing, Well my best friend is the porduct of rape(my beautiful daughter) I don't regret having her at all. Although she doesn't know at 23, and i doubt she ever will. my ex was nice enough to give her his last name even though we were not togather at the time. not saying it's the way everyone should be. that's not up to me and not my choice. I only have to answer for what i've done in life. it boils down to i don't beleave in it but who am i to tell someone else what they can or cannot live with.

You made a wonderful decision to give life to a child who regardless of how she came into this world deserved to live. I commend you!

tink the great thing about your situation was that you were able to make a choice. What if the government decided that under your circumstances, you absolutely HAD to have an abortion?

You may think that sounds like an impossible scenario, but it is not. When the government gets involved, and I don't care whether it is the state or federal government, it is no longer a personal medical decision anymore. And if something happened, let's say an influx of millions of refugees after a natural disaster, and the government decided that rather than preventing abortion, they required that a woman must have an abortion unless the baby would be born into a household with two parents, do you think that would be a good thing?

I don't think many people would be very happy about that. Actually I don't know anyone who would embrace a law like that. And to me, it is just absolutely wrong for the government to make these kinds of decisions for women and their unborn babies, whether the government decides that a woman must have an abortion in a particular case, or whether a woman must not have an abortion in a particular case.

I think it is great that you chose to keep your child. Very admirable and a beautiful thing. I also think that those women who choose to give their children up for adoption so that their children can have a better life than they can provide, is also a wonderful thing. And in this country both of those possibilities exist and women are smart enough to make these life changing decisions based upon what they believe is best.

It is completely wrong for the government to force women to do what the government (made up of who? Supreme Court justices, Presidents, Congress, Judges?) believes women faced with such decisions should do.

This question is too important for a few people to make a ruling that impacts all women and their medical, perhaps life threatening, decisions. That is completely wrong. And it goes against everything that this country stands for.

Whether you believe women should have abortions is beside the point. No woman is required to have an abortion against her wishes at this point in time. (Let's hope it never comes to that.) On the other hand, neither should a should woman be prevented from making a decision that she and her doctor believe are in her best interests, even if it means that she must have an abortion.

How come its ok for the government to decide in favor of your personal beliefs?

Maybe if you were a female and went through being raped and got pregnant your views would change. You are a man and cannot get pregnant so I think that this really only pertains to women. Abortion is up to the woman, it's her body...and you have no damn right to try to say that you have any say in their choice.

If you magically become a female one day and get pregnant then you can talk about not having an abortion!

Thanks.

That did happen to me and faced with the thought that I might very well be pregnant I would have chosen to have the baby even at 15. Life is not determined by a set of perfect circumstances all the time and we do not get to choose to kill babies. Just my opinion.

Yes thank God I am feeling better! I have been on prilosec for 3 days now and I can actually eat what I am supposed to now with very little discomfort. It is amazing though that I had to suggest to the dr's office what I needed. This website and all of you guys were the ones who made me push the issue otherwise I would still be in pain! Thanks so much to all of you for your help! If anyone is still suffering out there with this extreme pain and you havent had a fill then you should know that your next step should be to treat acid reflux. Thanks again everyone!

Thanks for the reply I have actually been taking prilosec for 3 days now and I would say the pain has decreased 90 %. Thank you all! I would have never known what I had if I didnt have this website and all of you as a resource! I am feeling better!

OK its been 24 hours on prilosec and I was able to get down about half of what i am supposed to eat today with very little discomfort afterwards. Maybe there is hope! Thank you to all of you who gave me suggestions. This website is what helped me self diagnose in the first place. I actually had to suggest to the NP that maybe it was reflux due to what i learned from speaking to all of you! I will keep you all posted. Thanks again!

I am just miserable! I am 6 weeks post op and having a terrible time with esophageal spasms. Had an Upper GI done today the band is fine but I have this terrible feeeling of someone stepping on my throat about 1/2 hour after I eat anything liquid or otherwise. They diagnosed me with acid reflux and put me on prevacid but I am still having tremendous pain so bad it gives me headaches. Lying down is the only relief. Any suggestions Anyone Please!!!

I just went to the doctor today and had an Upper GI which revealed basically nothing yet I am still having these problems. The liquid seems to be going thru the band fine. They now have diagnsoed me with acid reflux and have placed me on a 2 weeks stint of Prilosec hoping that the sitauation will resolve itself. I ate today one meal after taking the prevacid and was in agony for 4 hours. Dont know what else to do! Anyone?

I am 6 weeks post op and last week I began having what seemed like esophageal spasms. I have not been able to eat for near 2 weeks now and I have lost a tremendous anount of wt faster than they would like. I really could use some prayer and advice. Has anyone ever experienced this? My doctor says its stress but I dont feel stressed. Everyday I wake up and pray this day will be better I know He is in control. I am insisiting on a doctors appt tomorrow I will let you all know what they say tomorrow!Thanks for all your prayers ahead of time.

Hi Tink.

I'm being banded next month and your experience scares me, especially since the dr. doesn't seem to be taking it seriously. Did this just happen suddenly or have you felt bad all along? Are you feeling any better?

I think what I am feeling is very rare. I had absolutely no problems at all for the first 5 weeks post op and then BAM this came on very suddenly. One day I was eating mushies fine the next I couldnt eat anything at all. Even though I am going thru this I would not ever say I shouldnt have gotten the band. The fact is I feel way better this way than starving for food like I was all day long. Go ahead with your surgery. Everything will be fine!

Ouch! My guess is you are either having reflux or esophageal spasms. Either way, they should be listening to you. Call back and let them know it happened again, and if they blow you off then make an appt with your primary care doc. Someone needs to help you with this. You should not have to suffer in pain!

That is what the PA told me that it was esophageal spasms and that 48 hours of clear liquids should cure that. Well it has been a week now and I still have the same problems. I am going to the doctor tomorrow whether they want to see me or not. How do they treat esophageal spams and how long does it take to resolve itself?

No vomiting although I feel like I have to most of the time. I decided to take an antacid today and felt alot better. Perhaps its acid reflux?

GadgetLady, you and I agree wholeheartedly on this issue. I just want to say that BJean if you want abortions to be legal then you pay for them via your tax dollars but I dont agree with my tax money going to fund a Planned Parenthood.

I am in a tremendous amount of pain!!!!! I am 6 weeks post op and had been in my 2nd week of mushies when I started getting this tremendous pain in my throat about 1 hour post eating. I am eating slow very slow and chewing everything to mush and not drinking while I eat so i am following all the rules. I called my doctor and they keep poo pooing it saying its stress! In the last week I lost 8 pounds because I am so afraid to put anything down because I know the pain is coming. It feels as if there is a tight tight clamp around my throat! The pain is so severe it causes a headache and then the nausea comes! Laying down on my back but propped up a little is the only relief I can get from this! For the last 48 hours my doctor told me to go back to Clear Liquids and start shakes today. I was OK on the clear liquids but once I had the shake BAM it started all over again! Can anyone please help me!!!!!?????:):sad::sad::sad::sad::thumbdown::thumbs_down:

I had surgery about 5 weeks ago and I am finding that I am hungry and able to eat more food at one sitting than the past weeks. I only lost 1 pound last week (week 4) and I havent weighed in yet this week I have an appt with the nutritionist on thursday the 20th. When do you know its time for a fill? i still do feel the band is tight ( I can feel tightness up to my throat) especially towards the end of the day. Anyone?