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You look fabulous! And hello, boobs?! Do what makes you happy but no way could I haul those puppies around. But that's probably mostly jealousy talking. And per Butter, jealousy isn't attractive. I keep putting plastics off for fear of the recovery. I'm a wussbag. Enough about me, you look lovely! Great work - enjoy it, you've earned it. ~Cheri I noticed you joined a long, long time ago. How long did you research before you opted to sleeve? Seriously, I started coming here right around that time but lurked until late 2009 and waited a year to have surgery. I bet you remember all the old names that don't come around anymore!

That picture is a food trainwreck. But at least it's genuine food porn. Did you see the salads they were trying to pass off as porn on another thread? Nuh-uh, not buying it. So, I was that freaky weird kid that liked plain cornflakes better than any other Cereal. Or corn chex. Or cheerios. No sugar on top, either. I'd rather post pictures of my freaking adorable (screamy, never sleeping) baby instead. She's awesome, just like her ma. ~Cheri

Thankfully, I believe this absolute trainwreck of a thread has been nicely derailed. Can I start posting food porn here? ~Cheri

I call bullying! You can't make fun of my long posts, it hurts my feelings. As if you were the only one to (rightly) take me to task for that? I think I got slammed by several people. Anyway, I was teasing you. But note, I haven't used the word the same way since. I fully believe I have less likes on this forum than you and Laura because illiterate people skip my posts and you two keep it short, sweet and simple. LOL! Oh wait, is that bullying? Damn. I'm really no good at this crap. ~Cheri

Have you read "Hungry" by Allen Zadoff? He's not had surgery and isn't an advocate. But I picked up the book about a year post sleeved and it was where I finally had my "AHA!" moment. I'd been a disordered eater for so long I was in complete denial about my habits. I was SURE the sleeve was going to work because my only issues were portion size, diabetes and insulin resistance. Ha! Don't get me wrong, my sleeve worked to get me to goal and it's working to keep me there. But pinpointing the issues behind our obesity is critical to long term success. I define long term success as getting to goal and staying in a reasonable maintenance window - long term. Not getting to goal, regaining, dieting to lose, regaining, etc. That's a cycle I want to leave behind forever. The good news is that your sleeve will help capacity from day one. Yes, there are foods that will slide and grazing or binges will always be something you have to watch. But you'll never sit down and consume a massive portion again (assuming you do - I definitely enjoyed overeating) so that's good. The real issue for most people when it comes to maintenance is the head hunger you're talking about. Learning how to curb it, redirect it, ignore it - whatever you need to do. That's the hard part. It's definitely easier with a sleeve but please don't go into this thinking it will be something you can avoid confronting. Avoid it at your own risk! As for your question, there are a number of full signals most people get. I get a runny nose. Then I sneeze. If I eat a couple bites too many I'll have discomfort in my sleeve and possibly a full feeling at the back of my throat. Then, urp! Up comes that last bite. Yuck. But I have to deliberately ignore my signals or be distracted by socializing for this to happen. It took me a while to learn. Again, I was a serious overeater - I loved that stuffed feeling. It made me sick, but I ate to it and didn't feel satisfied unless I did so. For me, this was a bigger challenge than it is for other sleevers. Some never have an issue! Be careful to weigh or measure your food and pay attention to those signals. I don't care if you're supposed to eat a quarter cup of cottage cheese - if you start to feel full after less than that, STOP. Getting over the mental aspect and also learning that it's okay not to finish my plate or to throw away food took a while. Good luck, ~Cheri

Don't say Nazi. I got in trouble for that once. And I'm sarcastic and mean. That's why I'm "SLMP" instead of "Sleeve Master that knows way more than you". I'm a Sarcastic Little Mean Person. ~Cheri Oh, incidentally, I have nothing to contribute to this thread. I just wanted to pick on Butter.

Yes, great above post. Honestly, I think most people stumble into this at some point. It's just so much work. It gets boring. Hello, logging my food daily after more than three years? Really? I never realized what I was signing on for, but you know what? These are the things that help you have long term success. Getting your Protein, weighing daily, tracking your food, taking your supplements - that's important stuff. Go slow and get into the routine again. Things will get dull or challenging at times. Following basic rules is what keeps people at or near goal. Sometimes, I don't take my supplements or drink my protein and I'm so sick of chugging Water I could just scream some days. And yeah, Cookies (and chips, and popcorn, and don't get me started) go down really easily. Nothing stops slider foods from helping you regain weight except making the choice to either avoid them completely or keep it structured. There is always an opportunity to pick up, shake it off and move forward. Your sleeve is still there and will work for you if you work it. ~Cheri

Ms Skinniness, you're not allowed to stalk and like posts without checking in with us and letting us know how you're doing!! I need a finger wagging smiley. ~Cheri

Hey, don't feel bad. I still avoid storm drains and clowns because of the movie "It." I'd worry more about how you're going to build a better relationship with food and work your sleeve to reach your goals and stay there. Those are the real challenges all of us face post op. ~Cheri

And hello, those ostriches are CREEPY! Sadly (um, I don't think I mean that) ostrim is a forbidden food. Ostrich isn't kosher and while I don't keep strictly kosher for the hubs anymore, we don't bring absolutely unkosher things in. I think it's silly, it makes him feel better, though. And if he relaxed that rule we compromised on, I'd bring in a three pound package of bacon to celebrate, not a stick of ostrich meat. ~Cheri

I'm with you on most of it. But I think the point that many are trying to make here was that there was a LOT of back slapping and grinning over things like eating until you were sick, overindulging (I mean, not a slip, but a full on binge) and just plain justifying of bad choices. I agree about personal responsibility and also remembering that life still involves food - not just diet food, but ya know, "BAD" food, too. Meh. I'm unfollowing this one, though. You're either on one side of it or the other and there's no compromise between the two. ~Cheri

No way?! ~Cheri

Ha! And I just realized that my desire to heap food on people is likely tied to my Jewish roots. Food is love and every Friday night is a holiday and a reason to feast! ~Cheri

So first, the pictures of your food porn made me laugh. Green things are NOT food porn! Food porn is a greasy cheeseburger and fries. It's an Italian beef sandwich ordered hot, dipped. It's a deep dish pie loaded up with sausage (oh MAN I miss pork) with a tank of beer on the side. It is not a salad, even one with dressing. Also, I am truly guilty of being a food pusher but only on my husband. The man initially gained a few after my sleeve. Why? I'm a plate filler, too, and naturally couldn't eat all that food. So I'd shove all my leftovers off onto him and he'd eat them. Or I'd cook enough for my pre-op stomach and expect him to eat 3/4 of the food by himself. I'd bake a whole loaf of bread but couldn't even eat a whole slice so he'd eat it all. I do send food into work with him now. I love to bake, I keep enough for everyone in my house to have one or two small servings and out it goes. I'm kind enough to send a card with nutritional stats for the office folk. But let's be real - if you eat more than one cookie you didn't want to see the nutritional stats, anyway. Maybe that's enabling? Not sure. In fairness, my husband's office is full of military men that work out every day and almost everyone is in very good shape. And I might send in two dozen Cookies to be shared amongst the seventy coworkers in his division. I'm sure they're doing alright. They get worried that I'm sick when I miss a week of sending in baked goods. Now he's learned to say no. He doesn't try to eat my portion, too. I learned that it's okay to throw food away - even cake or pie! - if my family will not or should not eat it. But food porn should be in a dedicated thread, in my opinion, just to be safe. I firmly believe talking about food should be A-okay, but going that extra step and posting a picture that makes people salivate is cruel to those of us that won't be triggered and could be a trigger to someone already struggling. And I still say none of this is food porn. ~Cheri

It's most definitely more complicated than an us and them conversation, because many of us, at some point on our journey, are on either side of that line. I do not know a single vet that hasn't slipped, ever. It's impossible to separate out "good vs. bad" when you're talking about food, something we all ingest daily. I think there's a boundary here and that things that AREN'T enabling are being lumped in because to some people, it's a temptation. That's a personal issue. Someone gleefully posting that they ate a pizza, followed it up with ice cream and then washed it down with a soda - and then getting virtual pats on the back and likes for their post? That's enabling. That's also disgusting, quite frankly. But there's a line. Because confessing that you ate something off and someone replying "It's not that bad, it's not the end of the world." I'm seeing people group THAT in as enabling, when more likely, that's a person trying to be positive and supportive. Because there are still people here (loads of them) that think support is ONLY positive and saying anything even remotely critical is being mean and unhelpful. Hey, guess what? It may bother some people, but I still like food. I still love to bake. I'm sorry if the fact that I cooked something today that wasn't a green smoothie or grilled chicken breast makes someone want to go off the rails on a food orgy. The planning of menus and the preparing of food for my family or entertaining is a large part of my life. And yes, it balances in with my surgery. But I'm expected to keep any and all talk about that to myself, for fear of someone taking a nose dive into the candy bar aisle? That's the part I disagree with. Above all else, this site should be supportive. It should also be respectful. That means respecting that we're all individuals on individual journeys. Hey, let me tell you, some of these threads make me incredibly upset. Nobody should be saying it's okay to break surgeon guidelines or binge eat! I don't care what your friend or nutritionist or doctor told you. It's not okay behavior. But that's MY opinion. Because if someone wants to fail at this? That's not my issue. Oh, it'll make me upset and maybe angry and definitely frustrated with people. I might even rant about people not being educated before a major operation. If you want to eat a damned cheeseburger while you're healing, I'm sorry for you and I'm sorry for your family. Because food is probably going to kill you if you can't get your act together. Again, I like that you started this thread, Laura, but I still feel there is a huge amount of personal responsibility that comes into play. We're all behind computer screens. Nobody is holding anyone else's hand and leading them to the cookie jar. If you cannot get a grasp on YOUR OWN (and this is not directed at anyone specific) disordered eating, wake up! Because NOBODY, NOBODY is going to change your life but YOU. Food is part of life. We cannot avoid it. Birthdays? Cake? Parties? Alcohol? These things are not going away because we opted to have surgery. Expecting nobody to post about how to incorporate these things into their lives (in a healthy way, hopefully!) is unfair. It's akin to expecting your non-sleeved husband to stick to a liquid diet with you because you chose to have surgery, or being angry that he can eat more than 500 calories a day when you can't. The world doesn't revolve around us! I wish there were a way to separate it out. Overwhelmingly, I see people asking advice here about food and taking it from strangers on the internet. Really? Do you REALLY think it's okay to eat cake during healing just because someone, somewhere says that their surgeon said it was okay to have "just a little?" (That's enabling.) And why on earth do you really have to ask?! You know darn well cake isn't okay while you're healing! Post to lament the fact that you're missing out, post to ask what you can do instead, post a positive on what you'll do instead, but for goodness' sake, don't ask us to tell you it's okay when you know it's not. Invariably, there will be ONE person out there saying, "Oh yeah, sure, go ahead!" The addict is looking for that one person. They'll skip the 22 "WTH are you thinking?" posts to go with the 1 that tells them what they want to hear. The person seeking support is looking to be told it'll be okay, so the 22 "WTH" and "It'll be okay" posts are encouraging and keep them on the right track. But you can't guess who's going to read it and what their intent beforehand is, so jumping in and saying those posts aren't okay at all isn't fair to the people that want a more moderate approach. The biggest solution would have people educated prior to surgery, so they're not looking for validation and approval for their poor choices on the internet. I can do moderation (usually...) despite having food addict behaviors. I will never overcome my addiction. I choose moderation, because deprivation makes me angry and resentful. I weigh daily and do not allow myself to fall off the wagon (at least not for long...) and I make the right choices more than 90% of the time. You know what? Three years out and there are stressful and "hungry" days when every single fast food sign I pass pulls on me and tempts me. I know darn well that McDonald's food tastes like crap but those golden arches still make me want their crappy food sometimes. It's up to ME to resist. It boils down to personal responsibility. Posts make me angry. They make me sad. They bother me because people give stupid advice. How I choose to react is entirely up to me. The same goes for food. If we're going to blame food discussions for making us eat, let's lump in television, too. Because late night food commercials? They get me every time. Laura reacted well. She chose to start a safe thread discussing what bothers her. It's some of the talk here that it's all enabling, or the idea that we all have to police one another that I find objectionable. Support, yes. Hard truth when needed, yes. Blunt truth when needed, yes. Policing or shutting down threads I don't agree with? No. ~Cheri

I have never once heard anything even remotely verifiable about what you're freaking yourself out about. I'm pretty sure you'll be fine. Stay healthy, use sense and even when you're sick, remember to stay hydrated! ~Cheri

You just had a serious operation. Your body is in shock most likely. Add to that the very drastic and rapid weight loss! I see you're closing in on goal. At this point, you should expect a big slow down. Do as lsereno suggested and evaluate your diet. But most likely this is the normal reaction from 1) an operation and 2) being almost on top of goal weight. You're not going to stop losing unless you quit trying. You might find weight comes of much more slowly, but weight will come off if you work your sleeve. ~Cheri

The big question isn't about what anybody else thinks you're doing. How do you feel? Are you losing consistently or did you lose a lot immediately and have tapered? You're freshly sleeved, so you should expect a stall or slowdown around 3 weeks to one month out. Do you feel deprived? Do you feel the desire to eat more? Do you feel any ill effects from your current diet? It took me MONTHS to get in just the Protein and the Water daily. From there, it was a slow incline to add in good quality fruits, vegetables and grains. It takes time to reach that "normal" diet. And while you have a tiny capacity, protein is the most important thing (outside of staying hydrated) because you do not want your body to scavenge your muscle instead of your fat. Protein will aid healing, too. If you suffer from low energy, I suggest more carbohydrates. But an easy way to do that? Switch your shake to one with more carbs, or mix it with milk if you aren't already. That will give you more carbohydrates without forcing you eat more food. Because quite honestly, you don't want to eat a greater variety of foods only to find that you're "wasting" your space on two bites of broccoli instead of an ounce of dense protein! There's time for variety and balance after you've healed. Expect to expand your diet somewhere around three months out, unless you have more room sooner. If your wife isn't a WLS patient, it's more likely she's just caught up in the drastic change in your diet. Doing what you're currently doing for the long haul would not be appropriate. But temporarily? This is what most of us do early out! Good luck, and congrats on your sleeve and your success so far. ~Cheri

Even without shaving calories down you might see results just by shifting your diet back to basics. That's assuming you're kinda doing whatever you want right now. It's easier than sort of "dieting" your way back onto track. So for a week, shift to a Protein heavy diet and resume shakes if you can. Push your protein counts up high and don't worry about calories for this week. Fruits and veggies only after you've had protein, but try to get a few servings in a day. I did this recently to reset and feel incredibly full and like I eat all day long. It nipped the carb monster and nighttime cravings in the bud. From there transition back into lower calories, cutting slowly until you're at a place where you're losing pretty consistently. At that point up your carbs back up for energy and Fiber. And without too much trouble, within a week or two you should be back at an easily maintainable diet that's well rounded and will keep you losing so you can finally reach your goal. Good luck! ~Cheri

Oh, and to the OP? It's purely genetics. A good indicator? If you already have a lot of stretch marks, your skin isn't as resilient and you will have some degree of excess skin. The only things you can really do to minimize it are stay very hydrated (water intake AND lotion for your skin) and possibly strength training. I read a post a few years back about dry brushing but have never felt it was worth the bother. Good luck! ~Cheri

Completely OT but you remember those Subway commercials where they touted that Jared started walking to Subway to eat and that's how he lost the weight? Hubs did grad school at IU (Indiana University) and seriously...his apartment was on the second floor...and Subway was on the ground one. It always made me snicker. Totally jealous that his skin snapped back, though. Laura, do you think it's too late to start eating Subway? I hate Subway because of their "side of jiggly thighs commercial" (as if their food isn't processed fast food masquerading as a healthy choice) and haven't been there in years. ~Cheri

Brown, I feel the SAME way about the gym and I'm 32 (okay, I'll be 33 in eleven days) but it's so discouraging and feels uncomfortable to me. I've never felt comfortable at the gym, except when I was back home and we had a women's only gym I went to twice every day. It's like you're supposed to get in shape before you can go to the gym! Intimidating. I hate it. Sounds like people are picking up the fast days again. Sheila, I had a heck of a time getting back in the swing but man, once I did? Results, finally! Here's hoping you have the same experience, and good job getting back on track. OD, if FWB will allow you to feel companionship without emotional complications that will upset you, go for it. Right now your concern is a fear of being alone and lonely, right? If Allen is comforting and enjoyable in small doses, and you can both keep boundaries in the relationship you might find it more satisfying than that whole shebang, so to speak. In any case, good luck whatever you decide. FWB used to get messy for me. The boys just get attached to me, what can I say? So, I went to a birthday party with my twins this past weekend. I haven't felt so uncomfortable in a long time! Not only am I "that mom" (you know, the crazy tattooed one that the kids all love but the parents give the stink eye to) but every single woman at this party was fitness obsessed. Not healthy people - health NUTS. In more than an hour and a half (before I just moved over to the men who were talking sensibly) there was not a single conversation that wasn't fitness focused. Seriously. Yoga, triathlons, serious bike riders, long distance running. A few of these women looked really great - slender but fit and had great figures and muscle tone. But most of them looked emaciated and couldn't stop talking about the billion foods they don't eat and how much they work out. The birthday cake went uneaten. Twenty seven kids present, but apparently spelt cake, even dressed up in a pretty two layer cake with yogurt frosting and applesauce filling, was simply not palatable to them. I didn't have any because I'm not really a cake person. Plus, in a six and 100 pounds lighter than 3 years ago I still felt like a fat cow there. I had five moms ask me if I'm interested in getting in shape! WTever-lovingF is that supposed to mean? I think they were calling me fat. Joel (hubs) says they were just trying to pimp their personal trainer credentials. Still, I think they were calling me fat. Anyway, it made me realize that there's always something. These people are crazy. It's not enough to be married, you have to have kids. Once you have kids, they must be smart, well-dressed and in sixteen extra curricular activities. You must also have a degree or two, even if you're a stay at home mom. Oh, and you have to be at least moderately successful. Plus, you have to be fit. And tan. Ugh. Every single woman there sported a fake tan. In NOVEMBER. But none of these parents seemed really "in tune" with their kids. Weird. Like, they've got the external packaging down (at least their understanding of what the package should be) but the insides is kind of empty. They're missing the point, in my opinion. I'm clearly not "one of them" but I had some great conversations with their husbands and kids about superheroes, video games and Star Wars. I met a handful of really great people but was just overwhelmed by yes, feelings of insecurity but also just this feeling that these people were shells of people. Not real at all. All in all, not an enjoyable day. Just thought I'd share that weird experience. Oh, down another 6 tenths on the scale. Feast day, tomorrow is fast. I'm closing in on maintenance window again, and really feel like if this keeps up I might see goal again. ~Cheri

Plus, my doc considered Jello a clear liquid. Which it is, as soon as it hits your body it liquefies! Soft foods are when you'll realize how restrictive that sleeve really is - I couldn't eat much more than a scrambled egg in a sitting for more than a year. ~Cheri

I'm glad you got your vent on and I hope you feel better. Get your protein and water. You're only hurting yourself by not pushing those two things. And your results? That's more than three pounds a week! Twelve pounds a month! It might be slower than you'd like, but that doesn't make you a slow loser. Did you do a pre-op diet? If you did, that loss gets counted in to your total loss. And even if you didn't, three pounds a week is nothing to sneeze at, especially if you can maintain that rate of loss. You might need more calories than some, and if you're skipping meals or not hitting goals you certainly need more than you're getting now. But regardless, if you're not pushing your protein and water, you're going to struggle. So focus on that first and relax about the weight. It will come off with time. ~Cheri

Isn't it nice to see that people can have a difference of opinion, share their views and/or feelings and not see things devolve into chaos and drama? This time of year is particularly difficult for me and I tend to be hard nosed and view things in black and white at the best of times. I have never dealt with a substance addiction personally, so you're right - it's probably as easy for me to argue what it's like as it is for a lifelong skinny person to judge a fat one. And gamergirl brings up a great point - that the other confession thread didn't take this tangent. In any case, I actually avoid this thread myself. I see merit in the idea behind it. My post, while a confession, was also a warning about watching behaviors and hopefully, a story that reflects that even with struggles along the way we can succeed and maintain our losses. But this isn't where I'd be for support because I'm past needing to justify or seek validation/absolution for my food sins! ~Cheri