intelirish

So today i realized i have been banded now for a little over 2mts.. It feels like it has been a life time.. I keep telling myself i'm doing great.. that with time and patience the band will work for me as it does for others. I have lost weight and for the most part have kept it off..
 
However having had 2 fills i have yet to feel any true restriction and still can eat what i want. i just no longer eat large portions. Which i do count as a HUGE WIN for me. because my god could I eat before hand....
 
Every day is a struggle with hunger. it is so hard to not reach out for that second spoon full of what ever after i have already put my allotment for that meal on my plate.
 
To not visit the vending machine to see what deliciousness is to be found..- Never had the urge before banding not sure where it has come from now wishing it would leave me now....
 
There have been times when i have gotten so hungry that i'm half way through before i remember i am banded and then freeze in fear that i have done something wrong.
 
What keeps me going -
 
The truly AMAZING wonderful people i have gotten to know through this site.
The wonderful honest feedback, support and knowledge sharing
the knowledge that eventually i will get the restriction i am looking for.. just have to keep the chin up and marching forward.
 
I can do this

Farewell size 20W I will not miss you much,
You have been with me through the tough times,
Welcome size 18W OH how I have missed you…
I look forward to some good times..
May you not over stay your welcome…
Farewell size 20W - Here is my pledge…
To remember the times we had together
To remember the why’s
To remember NEVER AGAIN…..
 
:wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:

Farewell size 20W I will not miss you much,
You have been with me through the tough times,
Welcome size 18W OH how I have missed you…
I look forward to some good times..
May you not over stay your welcome…
Farewell size 20W - Here is my pledge…
To remember the times we had together
To remember the why’s
To remember NEVER AGAIN…..
 
:wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:

Farewell size 20W I will not miss you much,
You have been with me through the tough times,
Welcome size 18W OH how I have missed you…
I look forward to some good times..
May you not over stay your welcome…
Farewell size 20W - Here is my pledge…
To remember the times we had together
To remember the why’s
To remember NEVER AGAIN…..
 
:wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:

Today although it's not like it wasn't apparent before ... i truly realized how blessed i am to work where i do. For the 1st week post surgery my manager supported 100% my working a reduced schedule at home with no impact to pay.. Being back in the office was less of a hindrance than i thought along with being chased home around 2pm everyday with the words go home and rest and heal..My work environment is amazing.. my desk is height adjustable so that i can go from sitting to standing at my desk easily so that i can take the pressure of the port incision so that it won't hurt as much. to they gym facilities where i can walk on the thread mil for as long as i want while i take a meeting on the phone. To the cafe with their long list of healthy/organic food options. to the AMAZING laptop bag our admin just ordered so that i don't have to carry my laptop around - given that it's pretty darn heavy..
 
I AM BLESSED..
 

Today although it's not like it wasn't apparent before ... i truly realized how blessed i am to work where i do. For the 1st week post surgery my manager supported 100% my working a reduced schedule at home with no impact to pay.. Being back in the office was less of a hindrance than i thought along with being chased home around 2pm everyday with the words go home and rest and heal..My work environment is amazing.. my desk is height adjustable so that i can go from sitting to standing at my desk easily so that i can take the pressure of the port incision so that it won't hurt as much. to they gym facilities where i can walk on the thread mil for as long as i want while i take a meeting on the phone. To the cafe with their long list of healthy/organic food options. to the AMAZING laptop bag our admin just ordered so that i don't have to carry my laptop around - given that it's pretty darn heavy..
 
I AM BLESSED..
 

so i read the following words today on Facebook no less.. but they made me stop and pause....
 
A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"
 
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
 
She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
 
She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."
 
Remember to put the glass down.
 
They are certainly words that should make you pause and think.. what is it that i carry with me each and every day .. Yes i should look to the future but today it's here and now and if i can just learn to live in the moment knowing i'm doing the best i can shouldn't that take care of everything? Knowing that each food choice is as healthy as it can be in that moment of choice that we should just accept each choice for what it is and move on to the next not dwelling on why did i's? I've spent so much time on the why did i's that it became natural for me to start on the well why not one more can't hurt... for me it's time to put the Glass down.. accept that on occasion it is ok to feed the wild side.. but to also accept the fact i need to feed the smarter healthier side a little more often..

so i read the following words today on Facebook no less.. but they made me stop and pause....
 
A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"
 
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
 
She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
 
She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."
 
Remember to put the glass down.
 
They are certainly words that should make you pause and think.. what is it that i carry with me each and every day .. Yes i should look to the future but today it's here and now and if i can just learn to live in the moment knowing i'm doing the best i can shouldn't that take care of everything? Knowing that each food choice is as healthy as it can be in that moment of choice that we should just accept each choice for what it is and move on to the next not dwelling on why did i's? I've spent so much time on the why did i's that it became natural for me to start on the well why not one more can't hurt... for me it's time to put the Glass down.. accept that on occasion it is ok to feed the wild side.. but to also accept the fact i need to feed the smarter healthier side a little more often..

so i read the following words today on Facebook no less.. but they made me stop and pause....
 
A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"
 
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
 
She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
 
She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."
 
Remember to put the glass down.
 
They are certainly words that should make you pause and think.. what is it that i carry with me each and every day .. Yes i should look to the future but today it's here and now and if i can just learn to live in the moment knowing i'm doing the best i can shouldn't that take care of everything? Knowing that each food choice is as healthy as it can be in that moment of choice that we should just accept each choice for what it is and move on to the next not dwelling on why did i's? I've spent so much time on the why did i's that it became natural for me to start on the well why not one more can't hurt... for me it's time to put the Glass down.. accept that on occasion it is ok to feed the wild side.. but to also accept the fact i need to feed the smarter healthier side a little more often..

so i read the following words today on Facebook no less.. but they made me stop and pause....
 
A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"
 
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
 
She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
 
She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."
 
Remember to put the glass down.
 
They are certainly words that should make you pause and think.. what is it that i carry with me each and every day .. Yes i should look to the future but today it's here and now and if i can just learn to live in the moment knowing i'm doing the best i can shouldn't that take care of everything? Knowing that each food choice is as healthy as it can be in that moment of choice that we should just accept each choice for what it is and move on to the next not dwelling on why did i's? I've spent so much time on the why did i's that it became natural for me to start on the well why not one more can't hurt... for me it's time to put the Glass down.. accept that on occasion it is ok to feed the wild side.. but to also accept the fact i need to feed the smarter healthier side a little more often..

So here i am 4 day's post op and feeling pretty good considering.. hunger is controlled with little to no food.. first time EVER i'm sure this is more a result of the swelling more than the band but if its a good indication of what's ahead and how i'll manage life will be good..any way i digress .... my daughter and her friend had decided to go into town for some much deserved frozen yogurt.. not sure what they did to deserve it but when her friends barely one week old new to her car would not start after she came by to pick her up the look of disappointment was more than this mom could manage so while the dad's tried to figure out the car issue... she agreed and is blaming it on the med's she's not actually taking any more.... to allow her daughters friend to drive her car into town and get some yogurt.. and went with them again "insert meds".... the drive into town was mostly mom change the IPOD no not that song.. geeze mom it's still on repeat to crap there goes my shake all over the floor of my car.. i was surprised by my TOTAL lack of interest in anything at the frozen yogurt place.. the journey home was much more quite but a lot more bouncy having taken a different route home.. Lesson learned those important decisions they as you NOT to make immediately post op.. perhaps they should extend it to the weekend i survived it was a trip.. but i'm glad it's over... heart back in chest.

So here i am 4 day's post op and feeling pretty good considering.. hunger is controlled with little to no food.. first time EVER i'm sure this is more a result of the swelling more than the band but if its a good indication of what's ahead and how i'll manage life will be good..any way i digress .... my daughter and her friend had decided to go into town for some much deserved frozen yogurt.. not sure what they did to deserve it but when her friends barely one week old new to her car would not start after she came by to pick her up the look of disappointment was more than this mom could manage so while the dad's tried to figure out the car issue... she agreed and is blaming it on the med's she's not actually taking any more.... to allow her daughters friend to drive her car into town and get some yogurt.. and went with them again "insert meds".... the drive into town was mostly mom change the IPOD no not that song.. geeze mom it's still on repeat to crap there goes my shake all over the floor of my car.. i was surprised by my TOTAL lack of interest in anything at the frozen yogurt place.. the journey home was much more quite but a lot more bouncy having taken a different route home.. Lesson learned those important decisions they as you NOT to make immediately post op.. perhaps they should extend it to the weekend i survived it was a trip.. but i'm glad it's over... heart back in chest.

Why, do you get WLS, any type, and then not listen to your doctor or dietitian? Why?
 
When I was given the pre-op diet, I followed it to the 't' because I was afraid.
 
When it came to the post-op diet, I followed it to the 't', also.
 
When I get a fill, I am on 3 days of liquids, 3 days of mushy and then back to my regular foods. I listen to the doctor and his staff. They have been dealing with WLS for many many years.
 
So WHY, get the surgery and just follow your own rules??????
 
Think before putting the chip, the french fry, McDonald's, Dunkin Donuts in your hand, let alone your mouth. If you have to have one of these, at least wait until your surgery has healed and you can eat regular foods.
 
People who have had the band for a while, I have had mine for almost 14 months, maybe some of us know what we are talking about. I listen to the masters, they have been here longer than me. I try to help and if I don't have an answer, I will say it.
 
So when you are getting wheeled into the operating room, just remember WHY, you are there. To get healthy and live longer.
 
Have a great night.
 
Arlene
 
ps
Saturday night I have a wedding and yes I will eat but not over eat and I do not drink when I eat and never alcohol.

Today marks the end of Me as we currently know me.. Today i say good bye to the food dependent, emotional binge eating person i have become.. well in all honesty i said good bye to her about 2 weeks ago when i started the last leg of this journey and went on the Pre-Op diet. Tomorrow marks the start of the next stage of my life, to say i wasn't anxious, nervous... possibly a little freaked would be an understatement. The idea of surgery terrifies me... this isn't the first time I've had surgery but each time has been the same right up to the point where they put you to sleep the crazy thoughts will flash through my head of the what if's...
 
I know i am in good hands.. I discussed this with the nurse at the surgery center.. I would take the word of a nurse over a surgeon ANY day.
 
I know i will be fine
 
I know i am strong enough to do this.
 
I know I HAVE to do this
 
This is for me.
This is for the girl i used to be
This is for the slightly older hopefully smarter woman i want to be.
This is for my girls - i will be there to share all those mile stones in their life's they have not yet reached.
This is for ME....
 
Can't wait for this Era to end and for the next one to begin.

so i just got of the phone with a coworker meeting was for work but as all-things go quickly led to the more personal area.. how are.. your having your surgery tomorrow etc etc. then she shared with me some tips on being successful while on the liquid diet.. she recently had her jaw reconstructed and knows all about having to eat all your meals through a straw.. she was don't be afraid to experiment. the strangest things can taste wonderful in a blender but to always start with only a small portion that way you don't end up wasting food.
 
But the thing she shared with me that i found to be the most interesting. she told me to ask the anesthesiologist to give you a subliminal message as they put you to sleep. She said that during her first surgery for her jaw 13 mts ago she asked that he tell her she doesn't need to smoke and that she will recover quickly well and with limited pain..Her recovery she said was fast and she has not smoked since that day 13 mts ago
 
so tomorrow if i'm not too embarrassed or don't forget because i'm freaking out .... i'm going to mine to tell me i will recover well with limited pain and that i will enjoy my new healthier life style....

so i just got of the phone with a coworker meeting was for work but as all-things go quickly led to the more personal area.. how are.. your having your surgery tomorrow etc etc. then she shared with me some tips on being successful while on the liquid diet.. she recently had her jaw reconstructed and knows all about having to eat all your meals through a straw.. she was don't be afraid to experiment. the strangest things can taste wonderful in a blender but to always start with only a small portion that way you don't end up wasting food.
 
But the thing she shared with me that i found to be the most interesting. she told me to ask the anesthesiologist to give you a subliminal message as they put you to sleep. She said that during her first surgery for her jaw 13 mts ago she asked that he tell her she doesn't need to smoke and that she will recover quickly well and with limited pain..Her recovery she said was fast and she has not smoked since that day 13 mts ago
 
so tomorrow if i'm not too embarrassed or don't forget because i'm freaking out .... i'm going to mine to tell me i will recover well with limited pain and that i will enjoy my new healthier life style....

so i just got of the phone with a coworker meeting was for work but as all-things go quickly led to the more personal area.. how are.. your having your surgery tomorrow etc etc. then she shared with me some tips on being successful while on the liquid diet.. she recently had her jaw reconstructed and knows all about having to eat all your meals through a straw.. she was don't be afraid to experiment. the strangest things can taste wonderful in a blender but to always start with only a small portion that way you don't end up wasting food.
 
But the thing she shared with me that i found to be the most interesting. she told me to ask the anesthesiologist to give you a subliminal message as they put you to sleep. She said that during her first surgery for her jaw 13 mts ago she asked that he tell her she doesn't need to smoke and that she will recover quickly well and with limited pain..Her recovery she said was fast and she has not smoked since that day 13 mts ago
 
so tomorrow if i'm not too embarrassed or don't forget because i'm freaking out .... i'm going to mine to tell me i will recover well with limited pain and that i will enjoy my new healthier life style....

so i just got of the phone with a coworker meeting was for work but as all-things go quickly led to the more personal area.. how are.. your having your surgery tomorrow etc etc. then she shared with me some tips on being successful while on the liquid diet.. she recently had her jaw reconstructed and knows all about having to eat all your meals through a straw.. she was don't be afraid to experiment. the strangest things can taste wonderful in a blender but to always start with only a small portion that way you don't end up wasting food.
 
But the thing she shared with me that i found to be the most interesting. she told me to ask the anesthesiologist to give you a subliminal message as they put you to sleep. She said that during her first surgery for her jaw 13 mts ago she asked that he tell her she doesn't need to smoke and that she will recover quickly well and with limited pain..Her recovery she said was fast and she has not smoked since that day 13 mts ago
 
so tomorrow if i'm not too embarrassed or don't forget because i'm freaking out .... i'm going to mine to tell me i will recover well with limited pain and that i will enjoy my new healthier life style....