jessiquoi

RJ, then if they find out that's the case, that I can't lose even with surgery, wouldn't that be another reason to deny me?

Tuesday afternoon I went to the Bariatric Center for my second of three follow-ups with the team. The first month, I lost 5.6 lbs. I knew I didn't do as well this time, but I expected to see some loss, maybe a couple of pounds, based on my at-home weighing. Their scale says I stayed exactly the same. I was fine with that for about 2 minutes, thinking my first month was really good and I'll work harder next month, but every one of the team members (nurse, nutritionist, exercise physiologist, behavior counselor) was concerned and let me know about it during my 15 minutes with them. They all told me there's a chance the insurance won't approve me for surgery if I don't lose 14 lbs (5% of my weight). Threw me totally into depression. I couldn't get out of bed yesterday to go to work. So now I have to lose 8.4 lbs by 9/23, my next scheduled visit. I realize that I did exactly what I usually do when I go on a "diet". I was gungho for about a month, then start slacking off on my weighing and measuring (like, not doing it at all) after my first good weighin. Yes, I am pleased that I didn't gain any back... that says a lot to me that I am working a bit. I'm just so scared now that I won't be able to lose that much and they won't approve me. I can't stand feeling this way. Like many of you, I've been very successful in just about every aspect of my life... except losing weight. I really need this surgery. I feel like I'm going to be a miserable, cranky b!tch for the next month as I struggle with this. I'm normally sunny and optimistic... this is making me a monster, and I don't like it. I wish I could just be put to sleep for a month and fed intravenously. Wake me up when I'm sleeved, please. Sorry for the pity party. I'll be better now that I've dumped all of that out of my brain. I couldn't even look at the forums yesterday I was so down. Friday I have my appt with the gastroenterologist, and he'll schedule me for my endoscopy and colonoscopy, which are the last pre-op requirements I need to fulfill (other than the weight loss). I am garnering the strength to break this chain and finally succeed at taking care of myself.

I'm in the same place. Tonight is my second followup weigh in, and I'm nervous because I don't know if I'll show a loss. The bottom line is you are the only one who can do this for you. The only thing we can do to help is to tell you that we are experiencing the same thing. Do you want to have the surgery? Do you believe this will work and change your life? I believe this for myself, after reading all the posts here for the last 8 months or so. You have to believe it, first of all. If you believe it will work, then do you believe you are worth it? I believe I deserve every chance I can get for myself to be healthy. If you believe you are worth it, are you willing to work hard for a while, knowing that the eating will become easier to control if you just set yourself up for a safe surgery now by controlling the urge to eat things that are not on your nutritionist's plan for you? I am working so hard, I cry some nights because I want to eat whatever I want and I won't let myself. That's the bottom line. If you want it, if you believe in it, if you believe you deserve it, you can do this. Take a deep breath, forget about everything that you've done to date, and get started now. You can do this.

YAY! I love hearing stories like yours. Congratulations, and thank you for sharing!

SO glad you're doing better and that you don't need the stents! Please keep updating us on your progress, and I look forward to hearing that you don't regret the surgery after all. I think it's important to those that come after us to keep these threads up to date, especially if we've turned around a difficult situation. Thanks for letting us know how you feel!

@@IM.ON.MY.WEIGH.DOWN, how are you feeling today? any better?

wonderful to hear! i have geha too. can't wait to get submitted... congrats!

i have two that work for me very well. 1. talk it out with my boyfriend, who is willing to listen to me for hours talk about how much i NEED to have some ice cream or a turkey club sandwich, but won't have one because i don't want to derail my journey, but i NEED it, but i won't, maybe i will, would you have some with me, will you share it, no i CAN'T have it, i WANT it.... you get the picture. he is a saint. 2. go to sleep early. i'm not very good at transfering the comfort received from food to anything else yet except interacting with my boyfriend. i am hoping to pick up crafts again... that always helped me when i was dieting in the past, keeping my hands busy. i am also hoping to regain my gym rat status and transfer to working out, after i lose enough weight to allow me to walk more than 5 minutes.

wow, i'm so jealous! my surgeon won't schedule the surgery until the insurance approves everything. i have everything done except the endoscopy and colonoscopy, which will be scheduled after my initial consult with the gastroenterologist this Friday, so i'm feeling very close (probably mid-October). is there a reason that you fear they will deny you, Shirl? i don't have that worry because i have mondo comorbidities. do you have any? what's your BMI?

I don't really see the person in the mirror now (pre-op). I only seem to see my eyes. It is too hard to believe that the rest of that person is really me. It's only in photos that I see myself truly. I am looking forward to connecting with myself in the mirror post-op!

Hi. That's what I had, but I don't have a copy of the letter to send you, it went straight to my surgeon. My psychiatrist who has been managing my meds sent them a letter without even speaking to me directly about it. If your psychiatrist wants/needs one, I'm sure your surgeon's office can send him a template of what they're looking for. Ask them.

this is exciting! i can't wait to be there! my closet REALLY needs a cleaning.

Oh, don't let that a-hole affect the way you feel! You look fantastic! You look healthy and happy... don't give anyone the right to take that from you. He's probably jealous.

I saw you back there! Congratulations, great NSV!

I can totally imagine being depressed during the liquid diet. I think that's the point that it must start to seem most real. I'm not there yet, but I can imagine being in the same place. Everything you say sounds like normal pre-surgery jitters to me. Top that with a liquid diet, and I'm not surprised you're feeling emotionally down. All I can suggest is, keep reading things on these boards. People are going through the same thing as you, and feeling the same way. Everyone I have read about on these boards, even the ones who have complications, eventually are thrilled with the outcome and would do it again. Maybe that will allay your fears. Good luck!

you still have 2 days, right? today and tomorrow? drink a lot of extra water, and stick to the diet. if it was me, i would call the doctor's office and ask "what would happen if i only lost 9 lbs instead of 10? is there a cut off where the doc won't do the surgery?" without giving any specifics about how i was doing. don't be afraid, just call them. it's not knowing that is the scariest.

Today is my second follow up with the nutritionist, my second of three weigh ins. Getting closer to the goal!

So, everything came back normal after the mammogram and ultrasound on Friday... I'm sorry I didn't take the time to update this thread, I was too busy doing the happy dance. Except the breast center just called me, and the radiologist wants me to come back in to have more films and an ultrasound on the OTHER breast, cause it looks different than last year. They said it's not an emergency, which is good cause I'm out of town on biz until the end of next week. I'll go on 9/3. Wow, I can't believe it's almost September already. I'm almost sleeve-ready!!!

Are you feeling any better today? I hope you are healing and soon see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Yum! What will you have there?

Congratulations! And great wishes to you for the rest of your journey.

Yay!!! congrats!

I know exactly what you mean. The thought of giving up anything that we love is always hard to bear. And we do love our food! We depend on it for comfort probably more than just nutrition, which is how we ended up this way. You know how there are people in your life that, no matter how important they are to you, are toxic? How those relationships just make you feel less, feel bad? These favorite foods of ours, the ones that offer comfort but really steal our health, are toxic friends. If we can't learn to modify our relationship and keep ourselves strong and healthy while staying in the relationship, we have to cut them out. The sleeve is the tool that we will use to modify our relationship with these foods. If we find that we can learn to live with them in a way that's healthy to us, we can keep them in our lives. If we can't, maybe we will have to say goodbye to them for our own good. I'm trusting in the sleeve, and letting go of the worries about mourning food for now. I believe that the sleeve, combined as needed with group support and individual therapy, will help me conquer these toxic relationships once and for all. Be confident, look forward with anticipation to freeing yourself from toxic friends!

Sounds like you really have a handle on this! Congratulations, and thanks for sharing.