vincereautmori

I'm going to say I totally get Penny, in fact I'd suggest she's the epitome of why we consider surgery and why surgery is only a tool. Weight problems are real complex, it's not just will power, it's not just a sedentary life, it's not just mood, it can be used to manipulate and control and Penny has mastered it. For most of us, the journey begins with facing our weaknesses and fears, then we make a decision to change which can be to diet and exercise or something more drastic. Penny isn't honest with herself, I know that for a fact because I've been there, too many years thinking I don't have a serious weight problem, or that I could do more about it or how to get help. Penny has control over her family, why would she risk losing that control? So, she doesn't think she has a big weight problem and she has control. No reason to change. Why did she bother with surgery? It eleiminates the last excuse to regain her health, she can claim she got the surgery and no one helped and it didn't work. In her mind the surgery was the magic pill. As a spectator its frustrating to watch, but it should also reinforce the power of the forces that drive our obesity. IMHO

I remember at about 3 months I went out for dinner for the first time since surgery, I ate the way I did before, started with a wine, then some salad, then the main course. I didn't expect to eat as much, but after a good portion of Protein and a few bites of veggies, I felt sick and we had to leave. That's when I realized how different dining out is going to be from now on. I think its a combination of too much food and eating too fast. Too much bread doesn't seem to work either, so I tend to get wraps and then I can only comfortably eat half. I also asked for advice from forum friends, and the advice that has worked for me is to find the restaurant's menu online and plan ahead what I want to eat, usually ala carte, small portions, and I always take some home.

Well, Dr. Huizenga's motivations to critisize WLS may lie in his investment and celebrity on Biggest Loser. Biggest Loser is a brand, and right now it's a lucrative brand to be associated with and Dr. Huizenga is profiting from it, even to the extent of opening his own resort style fat ranch, which I'm certain is aimed at a particular wealthy demographic. His views are very single dimensional and ignores the many complexities of mental and physical reasons for weight loss. He has been quoted as citing a study comprised of just 35 subjects, hardly a statistically accurate sampling, for many of his conclusions. Although we might expect him, as an MD, to proffesionally consider other medically accepted options, he chooses to select publications that support his business. I believe Dr Oz has been critisized for questionable claims, seems to be a Hollywood weakness.

In the end, Dr Huizenga can make all the claims he likes, it's a free country, but results speak louder than words. In actuality, he has not found the "magic pill", I therefore suspect his program, or Biggest Loser, is not likely to produce results unlike many studies with thousands of data points, which say diet and exercise has a low statistical success rate vs. WLS. As far as the damage he might do to discourage obese viewers of the show from WLS, I don't think he has the credibility as a TV personality verses a patient having a serious conversation wth their primary doctor or their surgeon.

All I want now is to just be able to sit and have a normal dinner without worrying if it is going to get stuck. That is all i ask for. I don't care if it is a tiny portion. I just hate eating scared. It is how I feel about food now. I fear it.

Don't forget what a big change you've just bargained for, a very large section of stomach is gone, it changes how you need to eat. You, and even 6 months out me, are relearning something that was natural for us for our lives up until now. You need to learn the signals from the sleeve, and care and feeding. For me, eating too fast, it doesn't like it, things like sandwiches (the bread) it doesn't like it, but we're getting to know one another and we're working together and I'm getting healthier. It's still early, its going to take a while for swelling to go down and to acclamate to this new lifestyle. Take your time and be patient, you and your sleeve are going to be together for a long time. Good luck!

He's just worried about someone he holds dear now that the moment is near, you're his little girl, right? I'm pretty sure you've done all the research and you know the skill of your surgeon, you know the risks of surgery and you also know the risks of doing nothing. He just needs a little reassurance that you know what you're doing and there's a small chance you could have a problem, but there's a very likely chance you'll have serious health problems if you back out. Good Luck.

Complications suck! But it sounds like your surgical team is on top of it, hopefully once you can start getting fluids and nutrients down, things will start smoothing out. Just keep this in mind when someone says something to you about WLS being the easy way out. Hang in there, and keep the faith.

The last guy who told me that I was perfect except for "one thing" --my weight.

I've been hearing this all my life. I'm tired of it.

I know there's supposed to be a man code, but that's pretty shallow. So, here's my suggestion, in about a year or so when you're knock out dead gorgeous, give this guy one more date, so that he knows what he missed out on. Oh and BTW- you won't be able to eat much, so be sure you choose a REALLY expensive nouveau restaurant, you know the kind, extremely tiny portions (more than enough for you) and big pricetags. He'll go home hungry, broke, and lonely.

Had a another good day for the most part, Met my food goals and most of my exercise goals. Was able to increase my morning ride to 7 minutes and my evening ride to 3 minutes. Not a world beater but better than when I started.

I ran into my first snag in behavioral thinking though. I'm not sure if it's my problem or the problem of others. My wife's birthday is coming up and one of her friends invited us to have dinner at a restaurant that is one of those places that is a gorge feast. I declined and tried to explain that even though this would be pre op, I still wanted to remain true to my diet. This led to a heated discussion about how I needed to realize that I couldn't avoid restaurants forever. I KNOW THAT!!! But they are off limits until I recover from surgery.

I guess what I need to help with is if I'm TOO being narrow in my thinking? Am I expecting too much? This is the only way I know I know to do this. All or nothing.

Please give me any feedback you can.

Still praying that I do this.

Are you being too narrow in your thinking? You bet you are, it's called FOCUS! You can't do anything about how others react to your decision, you can only control what you do. If you can't deal with going out and asserting yourself, don't go there, stay focused on YOUR journey. This time will pass, a year from now things will be different, so will your wife support you between here and there? Only the both of you can answer that.

For me, I passed an a few functions both before and right after surgery so my wife went alone, and now I can go out and have whatever I want to. The difference? Before I might start with bread, a salad, a beer or two, then the main course, maybe another beer. Now, I can only handle about a cup of food total or I get real uncomfortable, so I skip the bread and Pasta, no more beer to fill me up, lean Protein like chicken or fish, I try to leave some room for some veggies, by then I'm usually too full for anything else. But the important difference is, I don't miss the quantity of food and enjoy the flavors, the company and the moment. So hang in there, you're doing the right thing. Good Luck.

Not in any particular order

☆ When I started to look at the size of a chair, and what it was made of, wherever and whenever I needed to sit somewhere & the constant fears of breaking a chair or not fitting in a booth at a restaurant or fearing not being able to fit in a desk at school.

☆ Standing up in a best friend's wedding and being the obvious "fat bridesmaid".

☆ Seeing how poorly the ^^^ bridesmaid dress fit me and how large I really looked, when the wedding pictures were released online for all of the wedding party & wedding guests to view...yuck.

☆ Going on vacation last August with my family and needing the largest tube to float in the lake with everyone (I called it the plus size tube lol).

☆ My heart breaking as I watch my (already overweight) Father continue to gain weight, develop diabetes, having to use a c-pap machine to help him breathe at night, breathing heavily & wincing when he goes up and down stairs (one step at a time) because of his hip and knee pain and struggling as he slowly gets in and out of a car. I love him so much & want to see him healthy, and I hope that my weight loss journey inspires him to want to get better.

☆ Being sick & tired of being seen as: the "fat friend", the "chubby girlfriend" (as my EX liked to use as a term of endearment), or the "heavier girl" when someone describes me.

☆ I'm over my friends trying to make me feel better about myself by saying things like, "You're just big boned", "You have a larger frame so of course you are a little heavier" or "This (clothing brand) runs big, so it should definitely fit you". {I love them to pieces & I know they love and care about me too and only mean well!}

☆ After being diagnosed with multiple neurological disorders this year that has left me bedridden at times, A bad breakup after a 3 year relationship with the guy I was living with and planning on marrying because he couldn't handle me being sick and was disgusted with weight I had gained, having to leave the best job I ever had because of my illnesses, losing my insurance and having to move back in with my parents (I'm so lucky to have the best parents!), I've decided to TAKE BACK the control of MY life!

Getting this surgery is the drastic positive change that I *desperately* need in order to improve the quality of my life tremendously. I was the heaviest I've ever been in my entire life summer of 2014 and I cannot wait to see how much I will weigh, what size I'll be and, most importantly, how much better I will be feeling (both inside & out!) this year! 2015 is gonna be my year to shine!

I like your attitude, instead of wallowing in sorrow for your run of bad luck you're deciding to be proactive and do something about it. YOU will do fine, and you WILL feel better, I have no doubts. You go girl!!!

I've got a question for the vets, did you find it was tougher to stay on plan or lose weight in the winter? I'm thinking I'm fighting evolution. I was losing pretty steady and the only stall I've hit was at three weeks, none since so it might just be a stall. With poor weather I can't get out for walks as often and I'm not very dedicated to exercise. What do you think, I'd appreciate your thoughts.

I've been having an occasional glass of wine since about 2 months post op, I've had no issues, still haven't tried beer yet. Take it slow and easy as you re-introduce foods and drinks.< /p>

OMG!

Suspence is killing me!

Pretty much like any addict coming off their favorite vice, whatever was driving us to over eat isn't letting go without putting up a fight. It didn't hit me until after surgery, but before, if I didn't eat in like 4 or 5 hours I started to get moody and I'd get headaches. No more. Good Luck!

I'm about 5 months out and the experience and results have been fantastic, no more CPAP, no more meds, walking without pain, and I don't need to shop in the big mans section anymore. Life is good and getting better. But me and my sleeve are still getting used to one another, I usually feel some restriction and stop, but if I eat too fast or go over the line.......ooooowwwwwwww. I get really really uncomfortable and regret the hell out it for at least a half hour. As awful as I feel, I hope that feeling is permanent because I WILL get it sooner or later and I appreciate and cherish this new friend (tough love I guess). Has anyone else experienced that feeling? Does it last?

I really appreciate the journeys that these people share. Some are so inspiring, some frightening and some like Penny, infuriating. But she is a poster child for why WLS is not a magic pill or the easy way out. That is clearly the attitude she had. It is a great demonstration of the fact that surgery is a tool and will not work unless YOU put the work in.

Looking forward to the new season!

YESSSS!! I was thinking the same thing, surgery helps but the rest is up to us.

Ditto, three week stall, it's your body adjusting to all the changes. Mine lasted 2 weeks, but haven't hit any since.

Although some family said they were seeing a difference at 20- 30 lbs it was about 50 lbs when I looked in the mirror and started to see the difference. Another motivating difference is watching how clothes fit as I move to smaller sizes. At my peak I was wearing 3XL shirts and even they were getting tight, they were big in the shouders but I needed that size to get it around my belly. Now I'm in XL and everything looks so much more proportional.

I'm a bit discouraged. Had the sleeve on 12-17 and have only lost around 16 lbs. That's being generous. Is it only going to go slower from here? Shouldn't this be more?

I've been following the Protein and Vitamin guidelines..

What were you expecting to lose? This isn't a contest, your body is desparately making adjustments, do what you're supposed to and take the journey, you will reach your goals.

I agree with everyone, shop at thrift and Goodwill stores because you won't be in that size very long. What feels good is seeing clothes fit better and better instead of buying stuff that fits around our widest dimension.

Are Protein shakes/smoothies usually part of the pre-op diet?

The reason for pre-op is to de-fat your liver and reduce the chances of complications from surgery. Some surgeons just want you on a liquid diet some a low fat diet, it will depend on your surgeon.

Ok, I am going to be really honest here, and l am petrified to give up food! food has been my friend, my enemy, my boyfriend, my lover my everything... in times when i didn't have all of the other things, or i wasn't getting my needs met! I am on my journey and I am ready to have a new life I know i don't want to be this weight for my health, but in the years I have dieted and lost a ton of weight, I have come to the conclusion that i am afraid of failing, and i am also afraid of SUCCEEDING!

I have had my appt with my surgeon, and nutritionist, I know that i want to do this. I am sure that this is the right decision, but is there anyone out there that is dealing with the FEAR?!?!?!?

Look, food can't replace real freinds and lovers, you just want it that much and that's an addiction. Just like an alcoholic or drug user the addiction drives you and controls you and all you know is you need it. Fear of failing or succeeding? Probably more likely afraid to take the first step on the journey you know you need to make, and that you can't come back once you make that decision. I had a lot of the same fears, but now I'm about 5 months out and I couldn't be happier. Now I control my relationship with food and not the other way around. I still enjoy many of the foods I love, but I can't abuse them, my sleeve won't let me. I'm still in the early part of my journey, what I didn't realize until I got here, is that the path behind me is darker than the path ahead. Good Luck to you.

I'm eating to fast and having candy (chocolate) I guess I have to slow down I think small tiny meals will be best also what should I have and how much chicken first or vegetable first

So, what's the nutritional value of candy? Are you getting the recommended amount of Protein? Are you getting in 48-60 oz Water? Are you feeling restriction? Those are the basics. Maybe track your meals on Sparkpeople or My Fitness Pal, both let you plug in what you've eaten and calculates for calories, Proteins, carbs, fats. If you're not feeling restriction or getting a full signal, talk to your surgical team. Good Luck!

I've seen the Anthony Weiner videos on YouTube. He does not promote eating vegetables first until a patient is 6 months out. And even then, I would not begin to do so without the approval of yoyur bariatrician and careful guidance of a nutritionist.

The dizziness or "feeling like you are going to faint" are classic signs of dehydration. I would start increasing your liquid and Protein intake right away. If you had this surgery to get healthy, then follow the set guidelines.

FYI- Anthony Weiner was a NY representative who resigned from a sex scandal, so I know he wasn't promoting vegetables. LOL

I'm 3 weeks out and for the past 10 days or so, I've been extremely turned off by food and any liquid other than iced Water. I struggle everyday to come up with things to try to change this, but not having real nutritious food is having a big impact on me. I feel like my body needs fruits, veggies and whole grains--yet the 20 or so items I'm allowed to eat are not cutting it.

I'm getting light headed when I bend down or stand up too quickly and I'm absolutely exhausted all the time. I have an appointment with my surgeon Tuesday, so I will be discussing this, but I'm afraid my body is going to turn on me and I'll end up in the hospital.

Anyone else have this happen to them? And how do you get over it?

Be sure you're getting enough Water, those are similar symptoms for dehydration. Be sure to get in enough Protein, that's your nutrition for now, the other foods will follow. You are also only 3 weeks out, its going to take time for your new stomach to heal, this is a learning curve and your tolerance for foods is going to change for a while. Be patient, its a lifetime journey.