vincereautmori

Does anyone ever feel some burn out in the pre-op stage? My surgery is in 3 1/2 weeks and today I feel like I'm just not in the mood to deal with this anymore. Today, just as I need to go into high gear to get my life and my work ready, I'm feeling tired of it all, scared and shocked by the reality of the surgery - am I really going to do this to myself???? (I am, but sometimes I can't handle thinking about it too much). It's going to take so much very, very hard work to get from today to 4 months from now - I am going to have to dig really deep in myself to make each day happen and happen successfully. It seems so hard - how do I make sure I have what it takes and can do what it takes.

The people scheduled near my surgery date are all so excited - they can't wait, some wish it were tomorrow - is that the right and better way to be feeling? From everything I've read, this surgery is not magic and it's going to take a heck of a lot of total commitment from me to get through this - I see it more as a long road and hard commitment. I am working on coming to terms with and accepting this overwhelming challenge to make sure I'm ready for it. Anyone ever feel this way? Any thoughts?

I am giddy and happy here and there, but the huge commitment to this change and the growing acceptance of a life without dependence on food is much more of my focus.

(No really harsh responses to my post please)

I've been thinking the same thing but didn't know how to describe it, it is burn out. My surgery is 4 weeks away,but I've been in research for the past year. I keep coming back to read the stories and experiences on Bariatricpal,but I don't know what elseto ask. My motivation is to improve my health, painful joints, OSA, fatigue, metabolic syndrome. So I'm in waiting mode, ready to go, starting to phase in some changes, and looking forwarward to better health and a more active and rewarding life. So, relax, you're getting close, you've prepared and while there are challenges ahead of you, you will prevail.

Always darkest before the dawn. One more day on your own, then you will have a new tool to help you the rest of the way. You can do it!

Wow, this is a heavy question, makes you look back and face the reasons we're here. My story goes back over 40 years, I'm coming on this journey in the later years of my life. Early years were focused on building a career, then raising a family, facing all of lifes trials and tribulations, with occasional excursions into health and self improvement. I think some people are just basically narcisistic, some know the priority of taking care of their own health to be there for their families. But some of us who are obese are much less about self indulgence and more about self sacrifice. We don't spend a lot of time thinking of ourselves, it would be too selfish to focus on our eating and taking time from our families to exercise, their needs always came first.

Now I'm approaching retirement, my lean friends have retired and lead active lives into their seventies and a few beyond. Over the past few years I been diagnosed with OSA, and metabolic syndrome requiring meds for BP, cholesterol, pre diabetes. This past year I've had back issues, pain in my knees, and most recently osteo arthritus in my hip. The orthopedic doctor said, the hip joint damage is permanent, either get some weight off it to buy more time, or replace it now. That's when I realized I've done permanent damage to my body, if my joints are the first to fail, can my heart and other organs be far behind?

It hit me that after a lifetime of hard work between my wife and I, I could be jeopardizing our dream of an active retirement, and new adventures and experiences. I could become more and more invalid and my wife would be strapped with my healthcare just to see to my needs. Worst case, I don't make it and she's left late in her life, as a widow. My GP has said for the past few years that my symptoms are managable, but the clock is ticking. So, it's now or never. For the next couple of years it's going to be all about me, so that I'll have the quality and quantity of life to enjoy my family and be here for their support as they face their challenges. It's a powerful motivator.

August 19th for me, at least one last July 4th "traditional" picnic.

I'm about a month from surgery, but my arthritic hip is killing me. I'm hoping that getting the weight off it will help, right now I can't really walk too far on it let alone go to exercise levels. What results are any of you seeing as you drop the weight? It has to help, but how much?

Look, you know this isn't a magic pill, right? You've seen, first hand, what NOT TO DO, right? So you're already better off than your co-worker. As far as the fear of failure, if you're like most of us, you've tried and failed multiple diets, but our desire for a healthier life keeps us from quitting, it's just that we finally realize the traditional diet and exercise doesn't work for us long term. I'm like you, I'm always hungry, and I think I eat a pretty healthy balance, so I'm hoping the WLS will manage the portions and I can concentrate on nutrtion and mental hunger. The WLS changes the playing field but if we don't do our part, we can't expect succes. You can do it! Good luck!

Not about how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up. You are about to face many life changing challenges, how will you handle them?

I'm having the operation through the Bariatric program at Balboa. Tricare prime is covering me. I went and had my psych eval done and at the end the doc said all was good. Later I got an email from him saying, "who do you want to continue therapy with?" Long story short, he felt my stress was really high, (sorry I was honestly about things that bother me), and he wouldn't refer me without me seeing another therapist. So now I'm pissed. So I asked a friend who her therapist was and saw her lady a few times. Now Tricare is saying they won't cover that therapist anymore. So now I have a referral to a new therapist. I'm so frustrated with this whole thing. I'm pretty much just waiting at this point for a therapist to clear me. I really feel I'm under no higher stress than any other military wife out there. Both psychs have told me they are concerned that I only have 4-5 close friends and I only vent to about 3 people my stresses. That's just who I am! (Minus this instance because I'm fed up and I don't know who else can relate.) I told the psych eval therapist from the get go that his profession made me totally uncomfortable. :/

Did anyone else have issues with therapists?

"Both psychs have told me they are concerned that I only have 4-5 close friends and I only vent to about 3 people my stresses."

I would say you have hundreds if not thousands of friends to vent to, right here. It wouldn't be lying, right?

Hi all, I'm a newbie to this site, looking for some help and advice and hopefully some answers.

I had a lap band put in 7 years ago, I then had several complications and three revision surgeries and multiple infections.

I recovered from all my infections and surgeries, started eating better and exercising. The weight was coming over but very slowly, I managed to lose 45 kilos and was feeling better, but disappointed with the slow weight loss (45 kilos over 3 years is not what I was expecting) (I have a lot of weight to lose - more than 100kgs)

So after my annual consultation with my surgeon, he suggested a gastric sleeve. I was so excited, a good friend of mine had recently been sleeved and her results were phenomenal! Bring it on!!

Band was removed after 4 years. 2 months of very careful eating and I was sleeved. I did everything right. Fluids for 2 weeks, mushies for 2 weeks, then small meals, gradually building up to solids.

Here is where my problems begin. After I started eating, I never felt the restriction I did when I had the band. Over time my portions increased, I have never felt any type of restriction, at my 3 month post op review a temporary surgeon. (My surgeon after performing 6 surgeries on my poor tummy is no longer practicing) I was told the sleeve had failed and I wasn't losing the weight they expected me too. Instant Soul crush!

I soldiered on and saw dieticians and doctors and no one to this day can explain what has happened.

Fast forward to now,7 years after my band and small loss and 2.5 years after my sleeve and I'm back to my pre. Band weight. I have absolutely nil restriction. I can eat a full size meal and have gained back every thing I ever lost.

I have been back to see 2 separate surgeons who have both said the sleeve looks to be fine, and have no answers as to why I'm gaining weight. (Have done 2 barium swallows)

Both of them have recommended a gastric bypass as the only way I will lose weight.

My head is really messed up. I don't know what to do, over the past 7 years I have had 7 operations 5 of them weight loss related (band in, port removed, port replaced band out and sleeved) Ive spent well over $30k on surgeries, Appointments hospital visits etc. and I'm really not wanting more surgery

(I was told due to the difficulty with scar tissue, infections etc I will need two bariatric surgeons to operate on me doubling the cost of further surgery)

Herein lies my issue.

Do I risk it all, spend a small fortune (that I don't really wish to spend) in the hope that this may be the surgery to help me lose weight.

Do I dare to pretend I can lose weight on my own (I'm 42 and the past 42 years have proven I can't)

Do I try to be happy and live my life as a super morbid obese adult?

I'll admit I'm scared, scared ill do it and fail, scared I won't do it and will be unhappy for the rest of my life, scared if I don't do it, my co morbidites will finally get the better of me

I wa so sure the band was the way to go. It took me a very long time to come to the realisation I needed surgery to help me lose weight. It worked but I never had the success others did. Then , I was convinced the sleeve would help, and now I'm back to where I began all those years ago.

My head is a mess, my body is a mess and I don't know which way to go......

Sorry for the mega long post, wanted to get it all out in the hope someone has had similar experiences and come through the other side

Ps. If anyone is reading this that is considering surgery, please don't let my post put you off. I'm a one in a million type person and no one else I know has issues like this. Ive made several great friends who have had differing weightless surgeries and they have all had great sucess. You will never look back

Has any of your medical team suggested the duodinal switch? It's the other half of the sleeve technique and does pretty much the same thing as bypass. It's got to be frustrating and depressing, but never give up.

I am pre-op. Most of the women that work in the bariatric center I am going through have had one or another type of bariatric surgery. All have been very nice, but in some cases its hard for me to ask them questions about their experience. Some of the ladys have had excellent results, but other still look very heavy. I made the mistake of asking one who was very heavy if the surgery worked for her. She was 3 year post op with a band. In my opinion it did not. As soon as I asked, I felt very imbarrased and felt I might have offended her. She turned around and told me that I should have seen her before, she was somewhere around 50% larger. Feeling like a big dirt bag I congratulaed her knowing we all are different. The problem is other employees that have had the proceedure still look huge and it hard not to ask if they feel it was worth it with out making an ass of myself. This makes me have second thoughts on the results? Is it wrong to ask or how should you ask? Confused!!!!!!!!

I'm pre-op too, but I find you have to be careful how you interpret everyone's results, as 1day1life has said, some people aren't as concientious about following their program and blame the tool. You definitely need to talk with more than a few people to get an idea of the range in results from a particular technique, so your local support groups are a great source. The great thing about these online forums is the anonymity, people will be pretty open when answering your questions, but read the good with the bad so you know what to expect. Don't be afraid to ask questions, that's the responsible thing to do. Good Luck.

I am 5 feet, was 210 and now 176. When I lose more weight, I think I would also see people turn heads..so far it has not happened as yet. As far as being nice, I am nice to people but I dont go out of my way like I used to and its not cause of my weight or anything, its because I just prefer being more reserved and keep it to myself type. Just recently I was turned down by a man because of my weight where he didnt even give a chance to know me...yes I was hurt but what can you do...he is not the right one. I will let you know how people treat me once I drop more weight...

It's still early in your journey, as you gain confidence and awareness of your body, you will probably find that you may feel more comfortable in social situations and gravitate towards men with substance. Good luck.

Yes. Sometimes I enjoy it, but it's mostly disappointing.

Why disappointing?

Disappointing because the people who give me attention (mainly men) would've never when I was heavier- I'm still the same person. Even the men at work are all of a sudden more helpful.

Sales people, waiters, strangers are more helpful and nicer- which is great, but weight shouldn't make a difference.

I was also recently offered a job I don't think I would've before.

It sad that weight determines worth.

Weight bias is a reality and we are in a unique position to have experienced both sides of it. One of the things I have feared about weight loss surgery, is becoming someone different. Perhaps it's not us who change, it's others. Good luck and enjoy the attention, you've earned it.

Yes. Sometimes I enjoy it, but it's mostly disappointing.

Why disappointing?

Do you find people treat you differently than they did when you were heavy?

This is it. ..the last step before getting a surgery date. My psych evaluation is tomorrow! Should I be nervous? I'm feeling rather excited actually. ..

Nothing to worry about, you know where this surgery is going to take you, right? It's not therapy, just to evaluate your understanding and expectations. Good Luck

Of course there is the typical post op recovery, but how long does it take until you feel "normal" again?

I didn't tell my husband yet and I'm practicing on how to tell him. I can see he telling me that I don't need it and that I should just exercise daily and stop eating. Of course I would answer that I did that already and it didn't work. He would say I didn't tried hard enough. It's consuming me. Besides the idea of me going to Mexico is going to be the cherry on the top of the ice cream. Anyways I paid the down payment to Ready4Achange and I have the sleeve date for the 8th of may with dr Fernando Garcia. I booked n paid for the flight already. Ultimately ill tell him anyways but I know he's gonna take the news as a irresponsible thing I'm doing because we could use the money in so many diff ways, with our family and that Im risking my life when i have two little boys to raise, that would be a selfish thing to do etc. I don't have money to spare but I worked extra hard to put together that money so I shouldn't feel guilt about how I'm going to spend it. But he works very hard too and all money he makes is to give our family a better life. He never spends anything with himself. This is a cry for help

How would he feel about your decision if instead of obesity you learned you had cancer? You are doing this to live, to continue to be there for him and your kids, it's not cosmetic nor vain. Best of luck, and to a long and fruitful life.

So I had my sleep apnea test last night (it was a take home deal). Well the results I got this morning were that I have severe obstructive sleep apnea (OSA). So I am going to have to go in and get the cpap machine and take some classes on its use. I am SO upset and have been just in a terrible state since getting the results! I talked to the np and he told me that this will delay my surgery for a FEW MONTHS! I am devastated! Has anyone else been through this? What am I supposed to expect? I have always heard that the machines are annoyingly loud and its hard to sleep with them because they are so loud.

On top of it, we are supposed to be following a strict 1200 calorie a day pre-op diet and eating certain food groups at certain meals and weighing and measuring. I have been so upset today that I have been non-stop eating! Of course all I am eating is crap but then I am beating myself up for it! I feel like I am in this vicious cycle today! What do I do?

I've been on the CPAP for over 3 years, noise isn't a problem, in fact my snoring and breathing used to wake my wife up, not the CPAP. Hopefully you will get the results I did, for me the difference was nigh and day (pardon the pun). I slept better than I had in years, I hadn't realized how much the OSA had affected me, I felt rested and awake at the end of the day. I can't speak for you but I think a little time getting good quality rest will only help you move forward towards improving your health. Hang in there and don't give up.

I'm in the final stages of my decision, hopefully by next month at this time, I will be on my way to better health. I've learned a lot from all of the people on this site, and it has helped me immensley. As a kind of final question of curiosity, aside from the obvious physical differences, how has this operation changed you?

After surgery, do you feel anything different inside?

My father on the other had is partly the reason I have been holding off on this surgery. he is the one who thinks "I can do it on my own", he thinks I just need to get my heard in the game, he says surgery doesnt change your mind set, that comes from with in. These things he says are all true and thats what keeps me going back and forth with my choice. Im putting it off because of his belief in me. Im trying for him, but im just not getting anywhere. i have lost 5 lbs like 5 weeks, yo-yo back an forth with these same few pounds. Im done!!!!!

Even though I haven't made my final decision, don't let your Father become an obstacle in your decision, he comes from a different time and a different perspective. What we understand is, even though the basics are calories in/calories out, the psychosematic problems are what are broken in us and the reason we can't just diet and exercise the weight away. Our bodies are fighting us with evolution, but our minds are battling back with our inteligence and knowledge about health, then our emotions are thrown into the mix for added pressure. Much easier for someone who's already fit and not suffering the internal struggle to just say, get your act together, I'm facing my own family members who don't get it either. I'd be willing to bet that once you're well into your journey and getting healthier, he'll appreciate your decision.

Absolutely LOVE food. Only difference is that I love it in MUCH smaller portions, and (for the most part) in a healthier a fashion. While I a very personal decision, I have no regrets in converting from the band to the sleeve.

I originally wanted to go with the band, but my surgeon said he'd seen too many complications and revisions, to recommend it. Did you experience problems or just poor results?

I haven't committed to sugery yet, so I'm coming from that perspective. When I think of good times with family and friends I think of dinners, picnics, parties, and all of the many homemade dishes and treats. I think one of my fears is losing something if I go ahead, like the special occasions will be different, or I won't be able to enjoy them as much. Am I just making food play too much of a role in my life? Have any of you struggled with it? Do you still enjoy the foods you always have?

I have told no one of my surgery. Not even my husband. Everyone thinks I am having surgery because of ulcers. I have no idea what I'm going to do when my husband come to the hospital. I don't know if the doctor is going to tell him. I hope not. I hope my husband doesn't start asking questions. Do I feel bad..... Yes, of course. I'm doing this for me. I didn't want negative feedback on my decision. I didn't want opinions, questions, or concerns. I know my family will support me but they talk to much. My mom has always told me the best person to tell you secret to is yourself. So that is what I did.... Kept it to myself. Now, the ulcer wasn't a complete lie because while on this gastric sleeve journey I found out that I had ulcers but they healed with medication and diet. Don't get me wrong I feel guilty........ BUT; I have worked so hard for my family and friends. Put so much before myself and woke up one day realizing I didn't know who "I was" anymore. I was 5'4 200 lbs with bad knees and back. I spent 10 years in the military proudly before getting medically discharged. I was so consumed in my family and everyday life that I couldn't tell you what made me happy anymore. I had faked my smile for so long I couldn't even tell you what was real and what smile was fake. So I needed to do things for me. Mentally..... Spiritually ....... And physically! That is what I have done. For 3 years I have slowly got back to me and I am happy. So I made this choice for me and me alone. This was my gift to myself. Yes it was selfish not telling my husband and family and I maybe wrong, but I am proud of myself and I love me!!! My husband loves me and my family. Right now I am going through my pre op liquid diet my surgery is 1 March 2014. And nobody knows that I'm having gastric sleeve surgery but me.

I respect your decision, only you know what's best for you, but are you sure you want to continue to keep this from your spouse? All I can say is, my wife would be hurt if I didn't include her in my journey, it would question my trust in her and she would know it. You're going to need support, the surgery is only one step in the process, you can get support on this forum at anytime, but in your day to day life you can't beat having your spouse there for you unless they are part of the problem.

I didn't tell hardly anyone prior to my surgery. As the days got closer, I found the whole process to make me want to keep things incredibly private. Post surgery, different story! I will tell anyone who asks what the heck I have done. It was the best decision I ever made for my health. Diabetes - Gone. Severe knee pain - greatly reduced; sleep apnea and a CPAP Machine - don't need it!

Right now I really need it, but I can't wait to toss that damn CPAP machine!