vincereautmori

As far as eating I haven't had any problems, I can still enjoy all the foods and flavors as I did before surgery, just not nearly as much. But I will warn you, you will need to re-learn how to eat out, and I have found this part of the process frustrating. So what was your normal dinner out? For me, a glass of wine, then some bread, then a salad, then the main course, sometimes dessert. My first time out a few months after surgery, I had a glass of wine, skipped the bread, ate a small salad, then got about two or three forkfulls of food in my mouth before I began to feel very uncomfortable. That was way too much food and eaten way too quickly, and the sleeve let me know it. I have since learned, I still enjoy a glass of wine, I skip over appetizers and salads and get a small plate of something I want, heavy on the Protein, then take my time with it, when the sleeve says, "that's enough", I obey and put the rest in a doggie bag. You will find though, this is a minor inconveinience compared to dealing with weight related issues. Good luck!

Hi everyone. I have just been put on the WL for sleeve surgery and should have the surgery within 3/4 months. I am really scared as I haven't told anyone I'm doing it. I feel like everyone will judge me and I will find myself in the center of gossip (I come from a turkish heritage and gossiping is famous). I know I shouldn't care what people think but I feel like a failure for not being able to lose weight myself. Is there anyone that kept their surgery a secret?? Thanks in advance x

I had VGS done about 10 months ago, and have had time to reflect on the journey so far, so here's my perspective. What you're going through now is all part of the process, first you question the severity of having to resort to surgery, you ask what's wrong with me, then how are we going to tell everyone and the fear of their reaction, then making the committment along with the doubts that it might not work. But, what's going to happen to YOU if you do nothing? Are you going to suddenly find that perfect diet or your inner athlete just because everyone tells you that's the best way to do it? Or is it more likely that your weight keeps going up and your body keeps getting damaged?

So, embrace the process, some parts of it is going to be hard and painful, the potential remarks from family may hurt, but its a test of your resolve. When you are where I am in a year, it will be up to you to determine if it was worth it. A year ago I could barely walk, my hip had deteriorated, my knees were bad, lower back problems, on CPAP, diabetes and cholesterol meds, and I felt old (I'm in my 60's). Today, I walk at least two miles a day or more, off CPAP and meds, I feel better than I did in my 50's. Life is great, totally worth it! Good luck in your journey, make it about you.

Sometimes I get so mad when people can sit there telling me that the way to lose weight is to exercise and eat healthy. Do they not think I've done that?! Have they ever been in my shoes?? Just another reason why I don't want to tell people at work I am having surgery...

Aren't those people the ones who have never struggled with their weight? LOL They don't get it that it's not simply calories in and calories out, we are not a piece of machinery but are a complex system effected by DNA, emotions, health, environment, hormones, etc., etc.. What the "easy way out" people don't really understand is that the equation remains the same after surgery, but we're still going to have to do the hard work to lose excess weight. The easiest way out is to do nothing. I too didn't say anything to most of my co-workers, but you're not going to hide the visible changes, however, although people notice I've found most don't say anything and those that do, I just tell them I'm getting my weight under control. Good luck!

We teach people how to treat us so if you didn't like him calling you out like that, you need to tell him so. If that doesn't work, kick him in the balls... Sometimes violence is the answer

LOL- No, no, no jessica, let's not go there. I don't think we want to go from obese wallflowers to fit and trim genital attacking terminators. Better to learn how to handle the situation diplomatically, assertively, and with confidence.

I just had my 2 week follow up appointment with the surgeon. I've lost 10 lbs since my surgery. He seemed not quite please with that weight loss. I have been eating more than the 1/4 cup modified liquid per meal that is recommended. I've been eating 1/2 cup or slightly more (5 ozs) per meal. And the occasional snack.

The surgeon says that if I am stretching the rules now, I will continue to do so and probably head towards failing overall. He didn't say it so bluntly, but I understood what he meant.

I'm shocked and depressed that I am failing so soon after my surgery. Anyone else been in my shoes? How did you turn it around?

MsTodd

So, first of all, 10 lbs in two weeks isn't that shabby, that's 5 lbs/wk, 20 lbs/month etc. I kind of get your surgeon's concern, if you're breaking the rules this soon, then what about 6 months from now. But, you are still recovering from surgery, there's internal swelling and the effects from surgery, so he's jumping the gun and should be more encouraging as you begin this transition. So, objectively, has he been supportive, neutral, or critical? Surround yourself with a healthy and considerate support system and BP is a good start. Just don't forget, this isn't a magic pill, it's going to be hard work, its going to take all the determination you've got and you'll have to learn to live a healthy new lifestyle. The sleeve is all yours now, learn to use it, it can be your best friend or your worst enemy, get to know one another and learn to listen to it and you'll be in a much better place a year from now.

I'm about ten months out and still losing, I've had stalls and a couple of slow winter months, but averaging about 4-5 lbs./month. Definitely start getting some exercise, and take a look at your calorie composition every now and then, I use Sparkpeople. Log what you eat for a week or two, you may discover your own problem. My demon is snacking, if I'm not careful, I see it on the scale. You can do it!

So the other night I was totally thrown for a loop and for the first time in a long time, I was actually rendered speechless. I was at a parent dinner meet and greet for a new sport my youngest is part of. I knew only 3 or 4 people (out of about 40) as this is my daughter's first year on the team.

I have known the woman who organized it (as well as her husband) forever. Her husband has always been very friendly with me, but we rarely see each other because they are both the most boring people on earth. Nice enough, but not people I want to hang around.

The husband came over to me and in front of about 15 people I've never seen in my life said, "Hey! How are you? And where is the rest of you?". Truly oblivious, I assumed he was asking about my husband as there were MANY dads there and I said that he was still at work. I've not been fat for over a year and a half and NO ONE mentions it anymore. People I've never met would have no idea I was ever fat.

He goes on to say, "Well, you've lost at least 100 or more pounds, right? I mean, you've lost at least half of yourself. Where did it go?" Immediately all eyes were on me and I had no idea what to say. (Weird, I know. I ALWAYS have something snarky to say. Long day, I guess.)

What a freaking beast. It was completely uncomfortable and awkward for me and I could tell a few of the ladies around me could feel it. Someone tried to make a joke that she "found it" and a few people f***ng congratulated me on something they know NOTHING about. I've left my fat life behind, how could this one jackhole completely throw me back into that world with a few sentences? One of my biggest reasons for losing the weight and my only real insecurity about being obese was how much I hated being "the fat mom" at every event. Leaving that world behind has been the best part of this whole experience and he brought it all slamming right back into the present.

I'm still pissed. I am going to see him endlessly throughout the summer and the season. I want to kick him in the nuts really bad. ARGH!!!

Soooooooooo...... I can possibly see a different reason and attitude for his conversation with you. I'm still at the stage of meeting people who I haven't seen in a while, and hear, "wow!", "hey skinny", "are you OK?", "how much weight have you lost?", "what are you doing to lose?" If other people are around, it draws attention and that makes me uncomfortable, so I get why it bugs you. But most of these people are my friends and mean no harm, they legitimately care or want to know what's going on in my life. If I'm asked by an acquaintence and I don't want to get into it with them, I just say, "thanks" and change the subject. It's our journey to share with others or not, and if it's people we don't know, they'll never know the difference so you could just say your watching what you eat and getting more exercise. End of subject....NEXT! So maybe this guy means no harm and it was a clumsy compliment, if he persists, ask him to respect your privacy (some dummies need to be told). Just my two bits, hope it helps. BTW- (I hope it's OK to mention here)congrats on your efforts!

It was very hard to make the decision, like other people have said it felt like I was

giving up - and "taking the easy route" - but truthfully I can honestly say that I have been "on a diet" or "dieting" - since I was in grade three - I have a huge wealth of information about what I am suppose to eat. And yet, here I am after dieting for fifty years! I think I have dieted enough. I am doing the sleeve to save what is left of my life. I have missed out on so much due to size issues - and I need to be here for the second half. I don't have my date yet - and I won't find out until July 9th - but anyone who thinks this is the easy - think again, the pre-op stuff alone is pretty tough! - but I am so excited to start my life again. So, Sue - write me back, I probably could have dieted for the next fifty years, but health issue caught up with me and I am done feeling, tired, sick, and shaky from diabetes!

The easy way out is to do, nothing!

You said it all in your title, we only fail when we surrender to our weaknesses. But by coming back, asking for support, and renewing your determination, its clear you are not going to surrender to your latest challenge. Everytime you meet and conquer a challenge, you gain something powerful, you are stronger than before. I chose my screen name that is my mantra, to motivate me through the tough times, vincere aut mori= latin for conquer or die. You can do this, again, and you will be stronger for it.

The bottom line, what are the long term statistics,2 years out, 5 years out????? I would be willing to bet, Biggest Loser......loses! This is about sustaining a lifestyle change, how many BL contestants will keep dedicating 3-4 hours a day to exercise while trying to live in the actual work a day world? Besides, how do you take many thousands of bits of data on WLS vs. significantly less available data for BL patients and make an accurate comparison? This is like saying, let's compare the speed of a man running against the speed of an F-16, in the first few seconds the man is faster than the jet, after that........

To all of my sixty something freinds in the process of WLS or contemplating it, think about this. I had my surgery a few months before my 62nd birthday, I was almost 62 and felt almost 90. Aches in all my joints, frequent doctor appointments to monitor my co-morbidities, and nothing was getting better. I remember just feeling old and a few years from retirement and thinking, what am I going to be like when I will finally have time for myself and will I be a burden on my family as my health deteriorates. Hell, just bending over to tie my shoes was an ordeal. Does any of that sound familiar? So what's it like today? I feel 10- 15 years younger! Off most meds, no more sleep apnea, I can walk for miles, and not only can I tie my shoes with ease I can finally look down and see them. I finally feel like I can keep up with the kids, I feel like I've gotten off the bench and gone from a spectator to a participant in life. So, are we too old to go through this? Absolutely not! I know there are lots of hoops to jump through (it took me over a year), and surgery is scary, but look in the mirror and ask yourself what your life will be like if you do nothing.

Here is what is currently on the table... A bag of Fritos, a bag of Herr's creamy dill potato chips, a bag of Cheetos, a bag of Combos, a box of Cheese-its, a container of pretzels, jelly Beans, caramel bulls eyes and cow tails, Keebler soft batch chocolate chip Cookies and Keebler fudge sticks, and a jar of peanuts. This is the end of the week, supplies are low. On Monday there will be about three times this amount of junk food. Every other Wednesday he brings in donuts. Yes, I do try to bring my own Snacks. My biggest problem is definitely self control.

It seems you know this table, intimately. That sounds like junk food junkie paradise. Why not put together your own snack table? Beef Jerky, nuts, yogurt, Protein drinks, high Protein Cereal mix, cheese, fruit, veggies, etc., etc. All pre measured in snack bags maybe? Grab one when those "bad" Snacks are callin' your name. We are surrounded by food whether it sits on a table a few feet away or next to us in the gas station or grocery store, or drug store, or just about any place we go. It is up to us, surgery will help, but the rest is up to us, if we need more help we are supposed to know how to access that help through our surgical teams and support system which includes Bariatric pal. Don't give up, if you made it this far you know you can finish the journey. Good luck!

I'm about to go on vacation and you ladies are an inspiration, for me, this is my first vacation since surgery. Where we go, it's usually beer, burgers, and beaches, but I already know if I tried to have what I did before, it would now be impossible. It's been a long winter and I can't wait to get outdoors and see what this new body can do.

My final straw- I was diagnosed with sleep apnea. I can't stand the CPAP. I had been thinking about gastric sleeve surgery for over a year. I started my 6 month pre op diet/ exercise program that is required by my insurance in March. I should be able to have my surgery in September. I'm 54 and ready to be healthy and active. My surgeon believes my sleep apnea will resolve once I get to a normal BMI. I am at 42 right now. I am so excited and look forward to sharing my journey!

I dealt with that thing for almost 4 years, a month after surgery I kicked it to the curb and sleeping like a baby ever since. You can do it!

Good for you buddy, keep up the good work! I'm the same height as you and wondered where I might want to ultimately be. I just decided I'll go wherever this journey takes me, if it stoped here I wouldn't necessarily be dsappointed, I'm almost 100 lbs less than I was when I started. I'm pretty sure we'll know when we hit our new "normal" weight.

I just watched this one last week and my husband and I were talking about how awful her choices were and how we couldnt understand how she could be that way. She was given a gift and decided that it just was too much work. She had no intentions of changing herself. I just cannot figure out how she didn't lose ANYTHING though and kept eating and gaining. (not that I have ANY desire to try but) I dont think I could maintain or gain weight if I tried! I cant eat enough! LOL My husband was the one that said that first, the fact that there is nowhere to put all that food. The only thing I could think was that she must graze on awful sugary fatty stuff ALL day long and really commit to it

She could keep gaining by continuing to eat high calorie, low nutrition foods, otherwise known as junkfood, and no doubt high fructose drinks. She was not the type of person to make lifestyle changes, she expected the WLS to do all the work.

I tracked all my eating, calories, fats, Proteins, and carbs (I used Sparkpeople), for the first couple of months post op. I actually had to add fats and carbs to begin balancing my diet, tough to do when you're focusing on Protein. So I made soft omlettes (used a little butter for flavor) with cheese and salsa for brakfast and egg salad for lunch. Fats aren't in themselves bad for you, they are part of a balanced diet, we just didn't know when to stop at "a little". If I may suggest, try tracking with one of the tracking sites (Meal Planner or Sparkpeople), for a while, then when you think you need it, track again. I test myself every now and then, and it helps my nutritionist diagnose problem areas we need to pay attention to. Good luck.

Although this is a compelling conversation, unfortunately this thread is devolving into a discussion which adds nothing to those still searching for an answer and to those who are looking for support. I am not going to perpetuate that tone. But as a lesson to anyone still trying to decide, this is a great example of taking this decision as seriously as anything in your life. Not all surgeries are necessary, not all are successful, and some people do experience problems, it has it's risks. Humblestar has decided those risks are too great and has decided to take another path. But for some, the risk of their current health conditions outweighs their fear of the risks of surgery, and ultimately many have it and enjoy renewed health and vitality.

There is a forum for lap band revisions that might be more informative for you. I have known a couple of people who had the band, who eventually revised to bypass. One friend had problems with the band, but the other refused to modify his eating, he ate too fast (for one thing). Even with an alternate surgery, he'll still have problems. IMHO. In my case, I have not vomited but if I eat too much or too fast I feel "uncomfortable", a little nauseous and a feeling of pressure.

Wow! Great article lexie, we go over most of this before surgery then rejoice in the weight loss and begin to feel invincible, we need the reminder. The one that really hit me is #10, 10. Assuming Surgery Has Cured Your Morbid Obesity, being almost 7 months out it almost feels too easy. Time to be extra vigilent about old habits finding their way back into our lives.

HUGE success Steve, and a warmly positive message, congrats! You're right, the story of our journey gets written anew every day. You sound so enthusiastic and happy, what was your mood prior to surgery? I was at my low point prior to surgery, joint pain, meds, sleep apnea, now they are all gone, I just had my 6 month labs and my A1c was lower without meds than a year ago on meds. So much to look forward to as we go from being spectators in life to active participants.

I agree, I think it was pretty obvious from the start that she didn't see her obesity as her weakness and that she had any intention of changing. It seems like the surgeon just looks for an ability to lose weight, then he approves the surgery. Pretty sad, but without a will to change, she'll be like any other addict whether it's drugs, alcohol, or food, an early death.

I think that's the only thing I don't like about the show, the lack of mental health clearance. I've never seen any of them jump through the hoops that we had to.

That's a good question, but for me, I'm just going to see where the journey takes me. I'm only about seven months out, and if it stopped here, I'm still happier and healthier than I was a year ago. So I would'nt be disappointed. But it's not over, I'm still going strong, in fact I have more enthusism to get healthier today than any time since surgery. With spring coming, I can't wait to try out this new body, I move with a lot more ease and I'm feelin' good.

You are only a week or so out of surgery, there's a lot still going on as you heal from surgery. Have you talked to your surgical team? Nutritionist? What were you expecting? How do you know this isn't head hunger? This is a lifetime decision, and if you did your research you would know it isn't a magic pill, it's still going to take changes and perseverence on your part. You can regret it all you want to, but at this point, there's no turning back. You're surgeon has done their job, now its up to you.

This has been a real interesting thread, you got your support through forum friends, and stayed strong and it sounds like at the same time your husband has come around. Good for you! The way I see it is, its like the beauty of a butterfly. The butterfly is born as a caterpillar and then transforms into the butterfly, the butterfly is always there. So was your husband in love with the caterpillar or what's inside? In my case, we're a bit older and my wife was on Weight Watchers, I completely supported her and she was doing well but I could'nt follow the same path with all the measuring and calculating. But she was taking control of her health and getting off meds and exercising and feeling better, and she was going there whether I did or not. That's when I knew I had to do my part, otherwise she was going to be taking care of an invalid husband, so when I made my final decision for surgery she was happy that we were going to take this journey together. Since surgery our lifestyles are closer than ever, with the weight loss I can take walks again, we eat the same foods and the smaller portions, we're both healthier and happier than we've been in years. Best of luck to you.

Just one more thing, and I apologize for this but I can't help it. Try some shrimp on the barbie, real healthy way to get protein!