vincereautmori

I've been thinking the same thing but didn't know how to describe it, it is burn out. My surgery is 4 weeks away,but I've been in research for the past year. I keep coming back to read the stories and experiences on Bariatricpal,but I don't know what elseto ask. My motivation is to improve my health, painful joints, OSA, fatigue, metabolic syndrome. So I'm in waiting mode, ready to go, starting to phase in some changes, and looking forwarward to better health and a more active and rewarding life. So, relax, you're getting close, you've prepared and while there are challenges ahead of you, you will prevail.

Always darkest before the dawn. One more day on your own, then you will have a new tool to help you the rest of the way. You can do it!

Wow, this is a heavy question, makes you look back and face the reasons we're here. My story goes back over 40 years, I'm coming on this journey in the later years of my life. Early years were focused on building a career, then raising a family, facing all of lifes trials and tribulations, with occasional excursions into health and self improvement. I think some people are just basically narcisistic, some know the priority of taking care of their own health to be there for their families. But some of us who are obese are much less about self indulgence and more about self sacrifice. We don't spend a lot of time thinking of ourselves, it would be too selfish to focus on our eating and taking time from our families to exercise, their needs always came first. Now I'm approaching retirement, my lean friends have retired and lead active lives into their seventies and a few beyond. Over the past few years I been diagnosed with OSA, and metabolic syndrome requiring meds for BP, cholesterol, pre diabetes. This past year I've had back issues, pain in my knees, and most recently osteo arthritus in my hip. The orthopedic doctor said, the hip joint damage is permanent, either get some weight off it to buy more time, or replace it now. That's when I realized I've done permanent damage to my body, if my joints are the first to fail, can my heart and other organs be far behind? It hit me that after a lifetime of hard work between my wife and I, I could be jeopardizing our dream of an active retirement, and new adventures and experiences. I could become more and more invalid and my wife would be strapped with my healthcare just to see to my needs. Worst case, I don't make it and she's left late in her life, as a widow. My GP has said for the past few years that my symptoms are managable, but the clock is ticking. So, it's now or never. For the next couple of years it's going to be all about me, so that I'll have the quality and quantity of life to enjoy my family and be here for their support as they face their challenges. It's a powerful motivator.

August 19th for me, at least one last July 4th "traditional" picnic.

I'm about a month from surgery, but my arthritic hip is killing me. I'm hoping that getting the weight off it will help, right now I can't really walk too far on it let alone go to exercise levels. What results are any of you seeing as you drop the weight? It has to help, but how much?

Look, you know this isn't a magic pill, right? You've seen, first hand, what NOT TO DO, right? So you're already better off than your co-worker. As far as the fear of failure, if you're like most of us, you've tried and failed multiple diets, but our desire for a healthier life keeps us from quitting, it's just that we finally realize the traditional diet and exercise doesn't work for us long term. I'm like you, I'm always hungry, and I think I eat a pretty healthy balance, so I'm hoping the WLS will manage the portions and I can concentrate on nutrtion and mental hunger. The WLS changes the playing field but if we don't do our part, we can't expect succes. You can do it! Good luck!

Not about how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up. You are about to face many life changing challenges, how will you handle them?

"Both psychs have told me they are concerned that I only have 4-5 close friends and I only vent to about 3 people my stresses." I would say you have hundreds if not thousands of friends to vent to, right here. It wouldn't be lying, right?

Has any of your medical team suggested the duodinal switch? It's the other half of the sleeve technique and does pretty much the same thing as bypass. It's got to be frustrating and depressing, but never give up.

Do you find people treat you differently than they did when you were heavy?

I'm pre-op too, but I find you have to be careful how you interpret everyone's results, as 1day1life has said, some people aren't as concientious about following their program and blame the tool. You definitely need to talk with more than a few people to get an idea of the range in results from a particular technique, so your local support groups are a great source. The great thing about these online forums is the anonymity, people will be pretty open when answering your questions, but read the good with the bad so you know what to expect. Don't be afraid to ask questions, that's the responsible thing to do. Good Luck.

It's still early in your journey, as you gain confidence and awareness of your body, you will probably find that you may feel more comfortable in social situations and gravitate towards men with substance. Good luck.

Why disappointing? Disappointing because the people who give me attention (mainly men) would've never when I was heavier- I'm still the same person. Even the men at work are all of a sudden more helpful. Sales people, waiters, strangers are more helpful and nicer- which is great, but weight shouldn't make a difference. I was also recently offered a job I don't think I would've before. It sad that weight determines worth. Weight bias is a reality and we are in a unique position to have experienced both sides of it. One of the things I have feared about weight loss surgery, is becoming someone different. Perhaps it's not us who change, it's others. Good luck and enjoy the attention, you've earned it.

Why disappointing?

Nothing to worry about, you know where this surgery is going to take you, right? It's not therapy, just to evaluate your understanding and expectations. Good Luck

Of course there is the typical post op recovery, but how long does it take until you feel "normal" again?

I haven't made a final decision yet, but I'm not sure I want to tell a lot of people that I'm opting for WLS. The problem with the sleeve is it's hard to hide, from hospital time to rapid weight loss. It may sound foolish but many are family members who I love, otherwise I wouldn't care so much, but they don't get WLS. How did you handle it?

How would he feel about your decision if instead of obesity you learned you had cancer? You are doing this to live, to continue to be there for him and your kids, it's not cosmetic nor vain. Best of luck, and to a long and fruitful life.

I've been on the CPAP for over 3 years, noise isn't a problem, in fact my snoring and breathing used to wake my wife up, not the CPAP. Hopefully you will get the results I did, for me the difference was nigh and day (pardon the pun). I slept better than I had in years, I hadn't realized how much the OSA had affected me, I felt rested and awake at the end of the day. I can't speak for you but I think a little time getting good quality rest will only help you move forward towards improving your health. Hang in there and don't give up.

I'm in the final stages of my decision, hopefully by next month at this time, I will be on my way to better health. I've learned a lot from all of the people on this site, and it has helped me immensley. As a kind of final question of curiosity, aside from the obvious physical differences, how has this operation changed you?

After surgery, do you feel anything different inside?

Even though I haven't made my final decision, don't let your Father become an obstacle in your decision, he comes from a different time and a different perspective. What we understand is, even though the basics are calories in/calories out, the psychosematic problems are what are broken in us and the reason we can't just diet and exercise the weight away. Our bodies are fighting us with evolution, but our minds are battling back with our inteligence and knowledge about health, then our emotions are thrown into the mix for added pressure. Much easier for someone who's already fit and not suffering the internal struggle to just say, get your act together, I'm facing my own family members who don't get it either. I'd be willing to bet that once you're well into your journey and getting healthier, he'll appreciate your decision.

I haven't committed to sugery yet, so I'm coming from that perspective. When I think of good times with family and friends I think of dinners, picnics, parties, and all of the many homemade dishes and treats. I think one of my fears is losing something if I go ahead, like the special occasions will be different, or I won't be able to enjoy them as much. Am I just making food play too much of a role in my life? Have any of you struggled with it? Do you still enjoy the foods you always have?

I originally wanted to go with the band, but my surgeon said he'd seen too many complications and revisions, to recommend it. Did you experience problems or just poor results?

I respect your decision, only you know what's best for you, but are you sure you want to continue to keep this from your spouse? All I can say is, my wife would be hurt if I didn't include her in my journey, it would question my trust in her and she would know it. You're going to need support, the surgery is only one step in the process, you can get support on this forum at anytime, but in your day to day life you can't beat having your spouse there for you unless they are part of the problem.