FET7968

After my Surgery I will not miss:
Gasping for breath just to wipe myself after going to the bathroom
Having the paper (the kind you put on toilet seat) in a public bathroom stick to your butt and can't get it off and it makes you want to scream...lol yes that did happen to me once!!!!
Feeling like I am over 9 months pregnant and walking like I am.
Severe Obstructive sleep Apnea
High Blood Pressure
Anxiety/Depression
Having No Sex Drive

After my surgery I will not miss:
Sitting in airline seats that don't fit
Shopping for clothes that don't cost a fortune
Having pain in knees and back
Having low self esteem

I echo all of the above, and would add:
* going to any doctor's office and the nurse takes one look and says, "hang on, I'll have to get the large cuff for you."

I won't miss:
1. not having the energy to get out of bed in the morning
2. sleep apnea
3. people looking at me with pity
4. or worse - when they say "you have such a pretty face ..."
5. complete strangers stopping me in the street to ask about my medical condition
6. relying on others to do the shopping for me because I can't walk the 4 blocks to the grocery store
7. needing help to get on and off buses
8. people offering me their seats in public transport like they would for senior citizens
9. not wearing socks because i can't bend down enough to put them on
10. being turned down at job interviews although i have more than enough qualifications.
and everything everyone else wrote. the list is endless

I don't miss:
Breaking into a case of lip sweat from walking briskly from one side of a building to another.
Breathing heavy at the top of the steps.
Being self conscious about what I put in my grocery cart.
Holding in all my stuff when I step on the scale so I can see the number.
Telling the dressing room lady that I need a different size even if it's bigger.
Having to roll over to my knees and push myself up off the floor.
Having to use the ladder to get out of the pool.

I will not miss:
1. Not being able to cross my legs
2. Being out of breath walking up stairs
3. Not being able to bend over to tie my shoes
4. Not getting on rides with my son because I'm afraid I won't fit or the ride won't move with me on it
5. Not fitting in my bathtub to take a bubble bath
6. Not having the energy to do anything

I am writing these things down, because I am sure there will be times early post op when I wonder "why did I do this?"
This is why:
1. Having to shop from a limited clothing selection. Eff you , size 20, you suck.
2. The feeling of my fat middle squooshing out when I sit down.
3. swolly feet
4. Feeling like the fattest person in the room
5. Being the fattest person in the room
6. Feeling invisible
7. Feeling self conscious and size conscious
8. My stomach touching the table in a restaurant booth
9. Not fitting comfortably in a movie theatre seat
10. Looking at myself in pictures
11. Feeling ugly
12. Body aches, knee aches, hip aches
13. shoes that used to fit, and now are too tight
14. Low energy
15. Not turning heads
16. Looking in the mirror naked
17. clothes that no longer fit.
18. Not being able to wear my rings
19. Being afraid to run into people I haven't seen in a while
20. Not feeling pretty
Ok, I only wrote 20. I'm sure there are more. Help me out. Why do you never want to go back?

Down exactly 65 pounds since April (47 since July 18 th surgery).
What I love most:
Ability to move my body again!
I am no longer the biggest girl in the room!
The way my shadow looks!
Taking stairs at work and not dying!
Fitting in my bath tub again!
Feeling sexy and getting wonderful compliments from hubby!
Going from size 26 to size 18!
And of course, SEX, SEX, SEX!
Best decision I have ever made...look forward to posting before and after pictures when I reach goal!