lisacaron

You are too kind CG

This is just my 2cents... I think that people simply stumble onto the site. They are new WLS patients who are struggling or they are curious about WLS. Some of them have been doing research on WLS some have consulted with doctors and some have gotten the surgery already. All of us are desperate to change our lives and lose weight and some are so desperate they don't do any of the above. They don't research, they contract and have surgery with doctors they don't understand or trust and then they second guess themselves and their doctors and then they get on the internet and look for help and stumble onto the site. So they ask questions and they admit to the unknown strangers that they are flawed and they have not listened to their doctors, they are eating pizza 3 days post op or they are vomiting non stop after eating because someone told them that's what lapband patients do. Some are indignant and think they know it all, and some are preachy and negative and I could go on and on....but the bottom line to it all is that we are all humans in our many different faces and personalities. Some click and some rub and others chafe but we are all here for the same reasons. That said, when I run into the poster that rubs, I try to have some tolerance. I try to step out of my comfort zone and ask myself why that person rubs me the wrong way. I may never know them in life other then words on a screen but something they wrote rubbed me wrong...and that has more to do with ME then it does with them. The same goes for the ones that chafe, but those area's are a little harder to probe when they are raw. I don't come here for the food, I come here for the support this site provides. The new site took a bit of adjusting, but so did my band and I can accept that and learn to live with it and even to love it. YOU all of YOU are this site. It's not the moderator, the newbie, the Veteran, the surgeon, the doctor, the nurse or the plumber that make the site what it is, it is YOU the one reading this. YOU. You make the site what it is, you have the power to make it supportive or to walk away from it. Gratefully there are some moderators and guardians at the gate that will not allow it to become a place of degradation and for that reason I feel comfortable enough to be able to share and participate with those of like mind and even those of adverse minds. Each of you have something to share, and something to teach and support is not real unless it comes from all sides. We need the balance to help keep us cradled in support as we grow stronger and leaner so that we may in turn cradle others in support be they new, old, soon to be or yet to be. They come here to see what YOU have to say, even if you have to say it more then once there is always someone who wants and needs to hear it/read it.

I have had a rough couple of weeks. I won't go into all the details mostly because they only serve to upset me. Suffice to say that I had some major issues with my middle son who is 22 and my stress levels have been through the roof. The holidays are here, and it's the perfect time to indulge in all those bad habits if I let myself fall back into the trap. The trap is decorated in all my favorite kind of shiny sparkly things, so it's a very attractive trap. The holiday sweetness abounds as candy canes, and chocolate are given out as gifts attached to cards and left on the desk. There is no judgement in popping it into your mouth that's what it's there for scream the givers. I have resisted, and given away the chocolate attached to the card, and the candy canes and passed them on to others more deserving and needing of the calories then I to those people the candy was a welcome treat and I felt good for sharing it. Not everyone knows of my surgery, I don't broadcast it though I am not shy of telling anyone should they ask me. My closest co-workers, friends and family all know. So I have to say the most touching support came today from one of the young ladies I work with. In a twist of fate we ended up seated next to each other though we both do very different work and are at very different levels in our work and our age we have become good friends. Today as a gift for the holiday's she baked rainbow Cookies for the people in her department as a holiday gift. I heard them all saying thank you and how good they were and she said to me: "Lisa I didn't bake you any cookies, I know you would appreciate them but would not want to eat them. So I have a special gift for you." I opened the gift and it was a beautiful shell decorated sparkly starfish ornament. My friend said "It made me think of you and of Hawaii where I know you want to live someday!" This gift has touched my heart very deeply. As this young girl thought not only of me in this holiday season, but also thought about a gift that would be supportive of my journey and my choices. I hope you all have a close friend or family member who is supportive of you as well, and if you don't please come and share my starfish and know that I support you!!

Wonderful post! Sometimes I get so busy I don't have the time to read or reply, and then I kick myself because I lose touch with myself also when that happens. The holiday season (when isn't it a holiday?) is not the easiest time for so many people and for those of us that are banded it's even harder I think. Everyone is walking around with sweets and delicious holiday fare offering to share, oh how nice they are. I have been able to be pretty good...when one of the bosses made her homemade butter toffee I couldn't say no. That would have been rude to do, I took a piece and my boss took a piece. He devoured his and mine is still sitting next to me. Not on the menu he asked? and I was honest. There is nothing that I can't eat I told him. I could eat the toffee no problem but I just finished my Breakfast Protein bar about half an hour before and I honestly am not hungry. It was true, I am not hungry. It is now lunch time around 1pm and I am hungry now. However, I still don't want that toffee. It's right here all buttery and crunchy and full of sugar and chocolate topping with walnuts. Looks amazing I'm sure it tastes even better but instead I am eating the minute steak leftovers I brought in for lunch today. I'm getting in my protein. I won't say that later this afternoon I might not eat that toffee. I might just have a bite or two or finish the piece, but unless I really want it. I won't eat it. I may take a bite to say that was very good Liz thank you for making that and sharing it with us, but that will be it. I am not good like that all the time. When I have a craving I eat what it is I want. Yesterday it was chocolate covered pretzels. I had a few of them, then a few more later that night. I didn't feel guilty I felt happy. I had what I wanted, and I didn't eat the whole bag. I didn't snack outside of that. Every morning as I get ready for work or wake up on the weekend I have to re-commit myself to my band and my journey to lose weight. I have to think about it and make a conscious decision for myself to try and stay on target. Sometimes I slip, and there are always people around with something to lead me astray...when I was first banded it was harder then it is today. Though there are days when I have been on point for so long a little slip feels OK but I know it's a slippery slope that I don't really want to be on!!! I'd like to be able to start committing time to moving more and getting a regular exercise program in that is a goal for me, but still a work in progress.....

An amazing and truly inspirational story! One I take personally to heart, living with my hubby who is in that hip pain today. He's half way having lost 50 pounds so far with the band and working on another 50 before his hip surgery. Thank you so much for posting!

Well said. It is sad that other people our own families and even our own children can have negative reactions to our wellness and our happiness. We have worked hard to be where we are, and if we are happy we deserve to be! We can't make others happy, it's their job to find their bliss, and if they are determined they will. PT you are doing the right thing and I applaud you and your compassion for your niece even in the face of her insults you remained elegant and did not kick her when she is obviously already down on herself.

Di I have done the same things! This year is so very different from years past. My focus is not on the food but the relationships and connections I have with people. Taking the time to honor them and nurture the ones I have and on making new ones. I hate to shop, I don't like the the crowds of rude people or the parking or the drama. This year, I am out shopping. Parking at the back of the lot and walking all the way to the store. Taking the time to walk around the malls and stores taking the time to check it out and then go back and make purchases not just fill the wagon so I can get out the door. Walking around more then once, and then making those purchases is a trisfector win for me! I get some exercise and steps on my fitbit, I am saving money, and the person I am buying for is getting something well thought out and extra special! I still don't like some of the rude people but I fight back and give them a smile some holiday cheer, that usually changes their tune and makes me smile even brighter! Happy Holidays Everyone!!

Donna, Thank you for sharing your story. You are an amazing brave and strong lady! Your story has touched me as I am sure it will touch many others. I hope every day is a new victory for you and that every day brings you peace and hope for each new day.

Yes the walking will help you out lots!! Warm tea is also good to sip, and try a heating pad or hot Water bottle on your back or under your shoulder for the gas pain. Brush your teeth to get rid of that sticky sweetness in your mouth, it will help to refresh you. The first few days are a bit rough, TLC and virtual {{{hugs}}} to you! Your doing great!

I love this. We are all discovering new ways of being every day. I never want to stop discovering! I have a bit of a different twist on this thread. I have always been me. Those that know me, know I have not changed much over the years. My weight has changed from the days when I was a skinny little kid, and a skinny little (5'0 little) teenager. As I grew older and my life changed I married young (17) and gave birth to my children (3 of them over 9 years) My weight went steadily higher. Unlike most people might be, I wasn't embarrassed of my size. Even if my Mother in law (who at the time was working for Vera Wang) called me Gordita. It didn't phase me she worked with anorexic models that I could pick my teeth with, and I found them no more attractive then said used tooth pick with a bit of meat hanging from it. My weight and my size became my power and helped me find my voice. As a young girl I felt that people didn't see me for ME they saw me for what they thought I was or should be. I felt objectified and stereo typed. Many times I would keep my mouth shut out of fear that people would take even further notice of me and make me more uncomfortable. As I grew heavier it was easier to let people see I had brains and not just a pretty package. I was more then the wrapping I had content too. For the longest time I hid behind my weight, people use the expression "throw your weight around" and I did. Suddenly as an overweight adult I thought I had found respect, I could speak my mind and I could achieve the things I didn't when people just wrote me off as just another Barbie doll. It has taken me a little over 20 years of being overweight and finally obese to understand that it wasn't and isn't weight that I needed to insulate myself with. I needed to find the confidence to believe in myself and present that face to the world around me. I have my days, and I still struggle with it occasionally. Thinking that each pound lost makes me that much more vulnerable, when the truth is that each pound lost brings me that much closer to the freedom of truly being ME.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I have been down that road with many different issues that rear their heads and keep you from losing the weight no matter how hard you try. It pays to speak up and advocate for yourself when you know things are not falling into place the way they should and something is just not right.

You know I read the title of this post and I thought just what CG posted. Don't wait start today!!! I don't understand why anyone would want to wait to be healthier or happier or to have a better life. No cookie, cake or holiday meal is worth it in my eyes. I spend time with my friends and family and I enjoy the meals and treats that are prepared but I eat them in smaller and more controlled amounts and to be very honest I actually enjoy the food and the company that much more now then I ever did before when I was stuffing my face during holiday gatherings. My hubby said the same thing to me when we went to the doctor for our monthly check up a few days ago. He said "babe after the holiday's I'll get another fill. I feel like I need to get back on track with eating right and moving more." I know I had the Scooby Doo face...because I just did not understand that. I asked him what he meant by that but I didn't want to embarrass him in front of the PA by pushing the issue. It's his choice if he feels he needs a fill or not. I don't know how he feels when he eats though for the most part I can see that he is not really eating badly and is eating a bit too much in portion size. Though we are both at work most days and I guess when we are not together he could be making poor choices and that's what he meant, but I don't know for sure. Either way he chose not have a fill and I chose to move forward toward my green zone and get a small fill. I am just about where I want to be as of this fill. I have already lost 3 pounds and I'm eating more band sized portions like I was hoping to finally. When he saw that I lost 3 pounds in just a few days after this fill, the hubby was like hmm...maybe I should have gotten a fill, he hasn't lost in the last month or so he has stayed the same which is not a bad thing, but the point is to keep going down. We are not ready to just maintain yet. Again he said after the holidays I'll get back on track and I still don't get it. I have days where I really want that cookie or I'm super hungry and so I eat, but I am never off track or derailed. This is not a diet this is MY LIFE. This is MY LIFESTYLE. This band, this port, this plication this is ME. It is who I am today, it is a part of my life like my hand or my foot. My hubby needs hip replacement surgery, so I said to him when you get the new hip will you wait to use that until after the holidays? He got mad at me, but it's the same thing! You need that hip to move to walk to stand, to sit, you have no choice but to use it. The same is true of the band. Yes we have some flexibility with our bands that other surgeries don't have, and that should help us to use it MORE and tailor it to our individual life styles. It's not a TV show that we can turn on or off or DVR for later so we can fast forward or rewind it. It's the present, it's a gift and you should be living it each and every day.

The motivation is there...it's the get up and go that's missing. I know I have that issue sometimes as well. What are you doing after you drop the kiddies off to school? Don't go home, drive directly to the gym. Park the car. Get out of the car and walk to the front door. If you can't go in today...do it again tomorrow and the next day until you get through the door and onto a machine or just walk around the building a couple of times. Either way you will have made a start and once you start it gets a little easier every day.

gramma, what you are describing could be many things from a heart attack and/or stroke, to carpal tunnel to a pinched nerve to having just slept in a bad position too often. Bandista is right about checking it out. If your coverage doesn't kick in for a few months perhaps you might go to the local hospital and have them check you out. They can't refuse you treatment. What's going other then the port site difficulty doesn't sound like it's band related. If your still in pain or not feeling well a visit to the doctor sooner then later is imperative. Please let us know how your doing.

Every day when I wake up I make a promise to myself to be committed to working my band and my body in most healthy and happy way I can today. I do this first thing before my feet even hit the floor. I take a second and stretch out (sometimes I'm so stressed I sleep in a tense little ball and I need a good stretch just to get out of bed) While I'm stretching sometimes I rub my port as if it were Aladdin's lamp, because for me it is. There is no magic Genie that's gong to pop out and grant me three wishes, but knowing that my band is there to support me I know that I have the power to make my dreams and wishes come true if I want them. Yes I know I sound like a cliche but it works for me and it helps remind me that I have come this far and I will not go back the way I came. When I'm hungry I eat, I think about what I am going to eat before I allow it to pass my lips. I think about what I am drinking before I take a sip. I think about how long I am sitting today and if I have moved enough and I get up and take a walk even if it's around the office or to the potty and back. I tell myself that am successful every single day, even when I make mistakes. I am successful because I am mindful and for me that is more then half the battle won!

I had a fairly good weekend, so I'm starting off my Monday on a high note Spent Friday night in NYC with some co-workers, we went to see the Christmas Spectacular at Radio City. We did lots and lots of walking in the city. Parked the car on 43rd street and walked up to Ellen's Stardust Diner, then since they were full we walked back to Applebee's a block or so back and sat about 3 flights up which was just great for me! I had the Salmon dish and it was yummy! I didn't have room for the greens or potatoes that came with it and that was fine by me! We ordered the chocolate meltdown and everyone shared, there were 4 of us, so pretty much every one had 1.5 bites and it was gone! What a perfect way to have dessert for a bandster! Then we walked up to Radio City, saw our show and walked over to Rockefeller center to see the tree. However in the city that never sleeps just know the lights go out at 11:30! So the tree was not lit!!! Everything else was a ablaze but not the tree. (I think I will write a letter to the Mayor!) Then back to our car we walked, we stiffed Mickey and Mini as we took a picture with them and they were hustling for tips. So us old gals ran away...sorry no tip for you!! Saturday I snoozed all day...it was snowing out pretty heavy on Long Island so it was a nice relaxing day at home. Hubby and I made good food choices and got some decorating done and some shopping on Sunday. My goal this week is to keep up the good vibes!! Keep moving make it to the gym at least 3 times this week, and making those good food choices and hopefully get the rest of my holiday shopping done! (Truth is I haven't started yet! I'm a sprint shopper!! cause I hate it!)

You should definitely give your doctor a call and let them know that you were vomiting. Anesthesia often does that after surgery, and once it's out of your system you should be OK. Many times the surgeon will prescribe anti- nausea drugs to prevent this from happening. You want to give your band time to seat it self around your stomach. The sutures are still fresh and have not healed internally. When you vomit you cause the stomach to come up through the stoma that the band creates and this is what can cause the slip since the band hasn't fixed itself into place yet. This happens when you are healed internally and it takes a bit longer then your outside wounds do. Your port should not be the issue when from vomiting but you could pull it out of place by lifting things that are too heavy. A 4 month old should not weigh more then 15-20 pounds so you should be OK there. If you are lifting the baby and the diaper bag or the laundry stop doing that! I know it's easier to say then do but you have to take some time to care for yourself. You have just had another major surgery and your body needs time to heal and lots of TLC to recover from all it has been through over the last few months. I wish you all the best, and please keep in close contact with your doctor if you are feeling any pulling in the port or still nauseated.

Sometimes it pays to not be so vocal with others about your surgery or what restrictions you have and/or don't have when eating and drinking. Just do what needs doing. Follow what your doctors orders are and keep a low profile about it. If your making comments or visibly making a big deal about being on a "restricted" diet or not being able to tolerate certain foods then people are going to think that they can comment. If your a little bit more sedate and people still make comments politely tell them that while their good intentions are appreciated you need to work through this on your own with the support of your doctor and that is the only advice that you will be following. This is what has worked for me. Best of luck on your journey to you and your friend.

The mind is a powerful thing it can help is heal and it can unwittingly cause us harm when we allow it to help mask our true feelings and emotions. Being stressed being sad being lonely or even being extremely happy about an event or a moment in our lives can cause an upset in our delicate balance and our minds look for something to offset the shift and most of is have set out minds to food. One of the hardest lessons I am learning with help of this new tool is that this is no longer an option. It is not always easy to get my mind to comply with my belly. It makes my eyes bigger then my stomach and things are out of proportion. If I let the mind game rule I lose. So I have learned or I am learning that for me the best way to gain my balance back is to live in the moments. Sometimes they hurt sometimes they are sad or lonely or so full of love and joy I want to cry. My mind tries to argue but I turn to my feelings and let the tears flow if they must and let my cheeks hurt or my tummy giggle from laughing and smiling!! It's hard to do but living in the moment and not frosting it over with cake cookies or other foods is what is getting me through. The mind can trick you into eating a 10oz steak or a bag of chips. It overrides your band and relaxes your insides and of course it goes down. Don't let it rule you take control of it and steer it where you want it to go. It's hard work the power steering isn't broken in just yet but it's worth it.

Hi Sally, Your stoma could be a bit irritated from the slimming episode you had on Monday and the swelling could be causing food to not pass fully. Try going back to liquids for a day or two, and try some warm tea to see if that helps to sooth things for you. If you still have that tight feeling after then you may need a tiny unfill to take the pressure off. It is not a bad thing to unfill even if it's a tiny bit, you can always put it back in later as needed. In my opinion it's better to take out a bit and heal the swelling then to risk erosion or slip down the line. Let us know how your doing in a few days OK?

Hi Coach, In the first few weeks your mission is not to worry about calories but to heal and take care of yourself. You just had major surgery. It's hard to get our heads around the way our bands function in relation to our lives and habits but you will. If you can break up the meals try to separate out the Protein shake and the milk and have them a little bit apart from each other things like that. Once you are working the band fully you will want to have only three meals a day but right now that is not going to help you with hunger and healing to limit your intake. Your eating very light right now to give the band a chance to seat itself and not be upset as it heals inside. So you want to eat or rather drink high protein items (which helps in healing as well) and is the foundation that you are going to build on as you go forward with the band. Calorie counting won't hurt you, but it's not something you should focus on right now. You can use an app like My Fitness Pal to help you if you want to know what your taking in and get in the habit of tracking. Your body needs protein and fuel to heal, so if you are in the 1200-1500 range you are right there. Once you have healed and your doctor and nut move you to solid food you should always follow their advice on how many calories to ingest. Best of luck to you, reach out any time there are lots of people here with excellent advise and support.

Terry I love this! I am going to start doing this just because and I know for sure my kids will leave me alone when I am eating and I'll never get stuck again

You are very hungry because you are not eating much at all if you are only having 2 Tbsp of jello. Pudding is not a bad choice if you make the sugar free and fat free pudding. You can get them in any store sugar free and make them with non fat milk. They are a good choice but a Greek yogurt is better. The Protein will help to keep you fuller and not have so much hunger. Think about spreading out your shakes and pudding or yogurt so you are having something every few hours to start and in between sipping Water.

We should probably never be "snacking". We eat to fuel and keep our bodies healthy. If we are eating out of want, or craving we have to ask ourselves where that is coming from. Many times when we want a snack it's something that is not good for us. It's not the apple or piece of cheese. It's the cookie, and the cake or the bag of chips that calls to us. We are not running for the grilled chicken and salad when we want a snack. So what I try to do when I find myself looking for a nosh is to ask myself, why am I looking for it? Is it because it's been 4 or 5 hours since I have last eaten something? Have I had enough Water or I am mistaking that craving for dehydration? Will a cup of coffee or tea fit the bill? Or like a new born who has the need to suckle...I have a need to chew, so maybe a piece of gum will do the trick. If I am truly hungry, then why not turn to that grilled chicken or salad? It's kind of like what I tell my kids when they say there is nothing to eat in the house, and I list the things that are available. and they say but I don't want THAT!! I always say to them then you are not hungry! If you were hungry you would eat anything that would help fill that emptiness in your tummy, if your tummy is not hungry then you are not truly hungry. Sometimes it's just boredom, or the need to chew, or dehydration or as in my case a way to deal with your emotional state. I'm working on finding alternate ways to deal with my emotional states that don't include eating or snacking. I get up and take a walk, or I play some music, or try to find a quiet space and take a few deep breaths. Talk to a friend, text a friend, check my Bariatric pal Most of the time the gum, a cup of tea or coffee works for me when I find that I am feeling snacky. Sometimes I am truly hungry and I'm glad that I chose to eat the piece of chicken or salad and not the chocolate brownie or other goodies laying around the office. If I really have a craving for something like that I make it a Protein bar, but I always go through these little conversations with myself before I let anything cross my lips.

Sometimes the Beans can be a bit gassy and that can cause a bit of indigestion. It won't hurt to take a Gas-Ex or Beano or something along those lines. Drink something warm, like decaf tea as well. This will help to relax the esophagus and stoma and allow food to or gas to move on. If you continue to have the pressure always give our doctor a call, that never hurts