laughingheels

I was sleeved on March 25, 2013. So far I have lost 45 pounds. I am very happy with it so far and hope to lose another 55 to reach my ultimate goal.
I went to see my surgeon for my three month check up. He was happy with my loss but very disappointed in my exercise. I told him I was going for 60-90 minute walks about 4-5 times a week. He said, "Walking is activity, it is not exercise. You need to get your heart rate up higher."
Ok, fine. He is right, I know. But ever since he said that I feel as if walking just isn't good enough and I gave up completely doing it. Now I do nothing. Its like if its not good enough then why even try. I feel guilty and ashamed of myself but its almost as if why do it if it doesn't count. I cant get myself to workout in the gym, despite a high monthly fee and prepaid personal training sessions. I just lack any motivation now.
How do you get back on track? What worked for you? What kind of exercise do you do? I need a swift kick in the rear I think!! I want to tone up but Im afraid of failing. Im afraid of being sore. Hell, I may even be afraid of succeeding.

I was sleeved on March 25, 2013. So far I have lost 45 pounds. I am very happy with it so far and hope to lose another 55 to reach my ultimate goal.
I went to see my surgeon for my three month check up. He was happy with my loss but very disappointed in my exercise. I told him I was going for 60-90 minute walks about 4-5 times a week. He said, "Walking is activity, it is not exercise. You need to get your heart rate up higher."
Ok, fine. He is right, I know. But ever since he said that I feel as if walking just isn't good enough and I gave up completely doing it. Now I do nothing. Its like if its not good enough then why even try. I feel guilty and ashamed of myself but its almost as if why do it if it doesn't count. I cant get myself to workout in the gym, despite a high monthly fee and prepaid personal training sessions. I just lack any motivation now.
How do you get back on track? What worked for you? What kind of exercise do you do? I need a swift kick in the rear I think!! I want to tone up but Im afraid of failing. Im afraid of being sore. Hell, I may even be afraid of succeeding.

This may sound crazy but I'm scared to succeed. I want to be thin and healthy and toned. I know I need to exercise to achieve that. But all I can do is think about it. I can't actually make myself go to the gym and workout. I'm scared ill fail. I'm scared I will succeed. I'm scared to look good. Im so used to hiding under all this fat. It's been my comfortable place for so long. Now I'm 40 pounds down and getting lots of attention. Which I do want. I want to be thin and toned so bad. But I lack any motivation to start a workout program. Im also scared lifting weights will make the scale move up. Im scared of being sore. Of looking foolish in front of others. I'm scared ill become obsessed and bore people with talk of the gym and calories and all that (like my fiancé who became so obsessed with fitness we broke up over it) plus im so used to men being mean to me about my weight. I have a strong history of being not good enough because of my weight and taking in mean comments about it from boyfriends. maybe im just scarred. sigh I even bought new dresses in a smaller size and I'm scared to wear them because I'm scared someone will tell me I look foolish in it.
Has anyone else felt this way? How do you find your motivation? Did you see good results once you started working out? Anything you could tell me would help! Thanks!!!
PS. I walk my dog for 60 mins a few times a week but my surgeon told me that is not exercise that is activity and I need more vigorous heart raising activity.