So I am Felicia. I just turned 24. I have stuggled with my weight, well, since birth. I was always overweight. I can blame my parents and grandparents for force feeding me all the time, but that's what they know. I am 100% Italian. My parents both immigrated from Italy when they were younger. We base every gathering around one thing- FOOD. At a cookout in the summer, we would arrive at 2pm, stuff our faces with hotdogs and hamburgers. At 4pm there were steaks. Later (around 6) Chicken and grilled potatoes. Soon after, dessert. After dessert, we would hang out and the people that stayed later would always go for what we call round 2. Any cookout food left was fair game, you just had to man the grill yourself. This happened EVERY weekend. Sometimes both days.
It was always my choice what to eat and how much, but I always took my cues from the people around me. When everyone ate, so did I, even if I wasn't hungry. This would explain a size 16 juniors in 4th grade.
In 4th grade, I started my first diet. Weight watchers. I was the youngest member in the Westerly group. I enjoyed the ladies there, always very motivation. But I was a KID. I didn't want to count my pretzels for my afternoon snack. I wanted to run in the house and eat a tube of pringles with the help of my brother and cousin.
I would say that I have been on a diet since then. On and off again. All different diets. I feel like I have tried ever thing. Atkins, SouthBeach, Counting Calories, Lo-Carb, Seeing a nutritionist, HerbalLife, Ideal Protein, even the no food diet.
Before this surgery, my last diet was the Ideal Protein. It wasn't so Ideal. First off, you have to pay a 350 dollar start up fee. After that it was $100 a week for the packets of food. Three high protein packets a day. Then a meal consisting of 7oz of protein and 2 cups of veggies. And another 2 cups of veggies at another point in the day. No Sugar, No carbs. My body needed to be in ketosis. It was pointless to cheat because once out of ketosis, it takes three days to get back in. This means that I would have wasted three days of food (about $50) all for what. An oreo. It wasn't worth it. I stayed on track and lost about 40 pounds before leaving to study abroad in Italy. The land of pizza, pasta and gelato. I thought I would have gained everytihng back. But I maintained and actually lost a few pounds. Probably because my walk to school was about 45 minutes each way.
When I came back (May 2011) , like I said I maintained myself at around 215lbs. I was proud of myself. I tried going back to that diet, but it just didn't work out. I couldn't stop myself from cheating. It was a waste. I stopped it. With not dieting, exercise being non-existent, and the accessibility of McDonalds, Dunkin and Taco Bell, I saw myself at around 240 in no time, by the end of the summer really.
In October, I met my boyfriend. He is a string bean. Maybe it's because I was around him so much, that I starting eating like him. Fast food or a candy bar, chips, and gatorade for dinner. I escalated and by my birthday 2012, I was creeping toward 260. I was disgusted. I didn't know what else to do.
I was confiding with my sister and she told me about a surgery her sister-in-law had a while back. The lapband. It sounded like it could be my saving grace. We did some research and in May I attended my informational meeting. I decided that that is what I wanted to do.
Taking the first step of a journey is both exciting and frightening. Add in the thought of surgery and it takes it to an omg level. But I am that desperate. I have tried just about everything – Weight Watchers more times that I can count, starting when I was just 25. Diet Center. Remember them? Pretty sure Diet Center single-handedly wrecked my metabolism. Appetite suppressants. Alli. Full bars. Slim Fast. Atkins. Every ‘fad’ out there. I did have that brief Golden Age (around 30) when I worked at a fitness center and worked out constantly and could actually keep my weight under control. As long as I ate barely nothing that is.
I have been ‘chubby’ for years, but the pounds really packed on when I quit smoking 6 years ago. And I have never been able to get/keep them off. I think I’ve gained an average of 15lbs/year. Ouch. I weighed 105 when I graduated from high school, and 120 when I was 20, and around 125-130 right before I got pregnant with my first baby. I did gain 50 pounds with that pregnancy but was able to get it off by her first birthday. I never really had a problem losing weight after having my children, but I was breastfeeding and super busy and who has time to eat? Unfortunately at 52 that’s not an option now! But don’t think I haven’t considered it. Joking! (Kind of).
Anyway, I need to do something. My husband would die if he knew how much I weigh. Pretty sure it’s more than he does, and he’s a foot taller. I have a brand new grandson on the way, and I would like to be able to get on the floor and play with him, AND be able to get back up. I would really like to go off my blood pressure medication, and the Rx I take for the arthritis in my knee. I have so many wonderful things going on in my life right now, and being overweight is like the ultimate buzz kill. I do a LOT of hard physical labor in the summer months, and the thought of having to start that up soon really depresses me. I can barely rake the yard much less do anything strenuous. I get out of breath just going up and down the stairs.
It’s time for a change.
