CajunCutie

Hey guys! I was sleeved on Feb. 25th. I also had my band removed. Glad to know I am not alone in this journey!

While most of us knew all about the physical side of Weight Loss Surgery, many people have no idea about the emotional ride they're about to face. This article discusses all aspects of the "emotional roller coaster" from the moment you first decide on having bariatric surgery all the way up to the maintenance phase of your weight loss. It's a wild ride baby!


When was the last time you were on a roller coaster? If you’re like me, it’s been a while. In fact, the last time I was on a roller coaster I was 310 lbs and could barely fit into the seat. The restraint almost didn't go around my tummy. I was squeezed in like Cinderella’s step-sister’s foot must have tried to squeeze into that tiny shoe. Yep. I was Drizella’s foot and the coaster seat was the glass slipper. I’m sure it was a comical, if not sad and pathetic site, for those around me. It was embarrassing to me, to say the very least. But I laughed it off and went on, as I tended to do.
That roller coaster was a wild ride. It had huge climbs, steep drops, loop-de-loops, sharp turns, and at one point it feels like you’re lying on your side. Honestly, it’s a wonder I stayed in the coaster even with the restraint!! The end of the ride was abrupt - it felt like my insides were coming out of my mouth when it stopped short back at the beginning of the track. When it was over, I felt accomplished, in a way. I’d survived that coaster ride, wild and uncomfortable as it was.
Many people don’t realize that life before, during, and after weight loss surgery becomes a roller-coaster ride of it’s own. It has the huge climbs of elation and joy and excitement, the steep drops into anxiety and depression, and the loop-de-loops, sharp turns, and lying on your side moments of uncertainty, worry, and fear. Here are some of the emotional dealings that will occur before, during, and after surgery that you might not know.
1. Pre-Surgery Elation. This happens when you are finally approved for surgery. It’s going to be a reality! You are going to get a brand new lease on life! The period of life where you are having to go through diet after diet is finally coming to an end! You might tell everyone you know or you might decide to keep your secret to yourself. Regardless, you are excited and ready to go!
2. Pre-Surgery Blues. This is when you realize that you are going to have to say good-bye to one of your best friends ... food. You come to the realization that there are some favorites that you are just not going to be able to eat anymore. Depression sets in slightly, and you might even go on a food bender - similar to what an addict might do. At this point you might even question your decision to go through surgery.
3. Day of Surgery. You’re going to be going through a myriad of emotions during this time. You’ll feel excitement, anxiety, apprehension, and impatience all at the same time. You’ll be worried because, after all, it is a major surgery you’re about to go through. But at the same time, you’ll be excited at what’s about to happen. When you wake up from anesthesia, you might be scared, especially if you’re having a rough transition out of anesthesia. You might be a little confused, wondering where you are. When your body settles down a bit and you remember where you are and what just happened, you might feel a little concerned. "Did everything go okay?" "Is this going to work?" "Did I just make the biggest mistake in my life?" On the other hand, you might wake up beautifully, singing the praises of your surgeon and his/her team, excited to begin your new life. These feelings and emotions will likely cycle throughout the day as you’re getting used to the idea of what just happened and your body relaxes and comes out of shock from surgery.
4. Going Home. When you’re finally released to go home, you’ll either be excited or scared. Thoughts might rush your brain like “will I be able to do this on my own?” and anxiety might set in again. You might, again, question your decision to undergo surgery, especially once the monotony of the liquid diet phases set in. The first few days might be easy, and the next might be excruciating. You’ll be in some discomfort because of incisions and if the surgeon inflated your abdomen with gas prior to surgery (commonly done in laparoscopic surgeries), and this might heighten your doubts and anxieties. You might begin to worry about issues such as leaks, slippage, or staples coming loose.
5.The first few months. You will be going through a mourning period at some point, and for some that occurs during the first few months after surgery. You no longer are able to lean on food for emotional support, so you might feel sad. You might even go through a type of “withdraw” from food, similar to what an addict might be going through their first few days in rehab. You’ll be able to eat more some days than others, and that will lead you to worry if your surgery is working or if there’s something wrong. Some days you’ll be jealous of watching everyone around you eat foods that you once loved. Others, you’ll be glad you can’t/don’t eat those things anymore. By the time you've finished all of your phases and are on to real food, you’ll be relieved and excited, and likely worried and anxious as well. Whereas before, you were relying on liquids for sustenance, now you’re on your own and have to rely on figuring your food choices out for yourself.
6. The losing phase. From the moment you leave the hospital until you reach your goal you are considered to be in the losing phase of surgery. For the purposes of this article, we’re going to call the losing phase the time period from month 3 (about the time you transition into full solids) to the point where you reach your goal. There will be many frustrations, joys, and concerns in the months ahead. Some days you’ll forget everything you were taught about nutrition and make yourself sick on something you shouldn't have eaten. Other days you’ll be 100% on track. You’ll have moments of pride and joy, and moments of shame and weakness. You’ll revel in finding out you can eat something as simple as asparagus and despair over not being able to eat rice pilaf. You’ll finally reach your “groove” point sometime during month four or five, and things begin to go well. You’ll reach a stall or two (or five ...) and wonder if you’re doing something wrong or if you've messed up your new tummy. You’ll marvel over losing 10 lbs in one week. You’ll wonder why you only lost 2 lbs the next week. When your loss starts to slow down, you’ll worry that you’re not exercising enough, that you’re eating too much or too little, or worry that your surgery is beginning to fail. You’ll relax more when you are consistently losing, even if it has gone down to 1-2 lbs a week.
7. The maintenance phase. When you reach your goal weight, you will have reached what is called “maintenance”. This is the final stage that you will likely be in for the rest of your life. Here, you will change your diet slightly in order to not lose or gain any more weight. You will get frustrated a time or two - especially the first time you gain a few pounds. You will marvel at what you've lost, but are concerned with the way your body looks now. You will have loose skin, which may cause body image issues. If you’re single, you might notice more possible suitors paying more attention to you. You might fall from one addiction (food) into another (sex). You might also be tempted into other addictive substances or habits such as alcohol, cigarettes, shopping, or pornography. Alternatively, you may look back at your loss, as meaningful and inspirational. You might revel in the way your life has changed and be happier than you have ever been and be ready to branch out and help others succeed in their bariatric surgery journeys.
Tips on Riding the Roller Coaster
Knowing that these emotions are possible doesn't mean they will happen for everyone, and doesn't mean you can’t get through them. The following tips will help you stay on the road to success and prevent you from falling off the wagon and into an abyss of self-doubt and depression:
1. Support. This is the number one most important thing for WLS patients. Even more important than food is support. Support can be found at home, through friends and family, in a hospital or surgery center support group, or even online forums such as Bariatric Pal.
2. Stick to the plan. As tempting as it might be to veer off and eat something you’re not supposed to, stick with your doctor or nutritionist’s eating plan as closely as possible. This will ensure that you continue to lose steadily, decrease the length and amount of stalls you’ll experience, and will speed up the healing process.
3. Vitamins.< /strong> It sounds very cliche, but remember to take your vitamins! Focus on Iron and B Complex vitamins especially.A Vitamin deficiency can result in depression, physical weakness, and poor sleep habits.
4. Speaking of sleep ... Make sure you’re getting plenty of it! At least 8 hours a day for an adult! Lack of sleep can lead to fatigue, weight gain, and (you guessed it!) depression!
5. Remember that “this too shall pass” ... These stages of emotional turmoil certainly won’t last forever. You’ll get over them as quickly as they overcame you. And keep in mind that each stage after surgery only lasts a short time in the grand scheme of things. Most eating phases last, at most, a month. After which you’re on to the next phase.
6. Keep a plan handy. Know that you will likely feel some unpleasant emotions or feelings and plan for them. Know what you’re going to do when you get upset, depressed, feel head hunger, or even feel physical pain from surgery. Have a list of friends to call at the drop of a hat, have a bottle of Water ready to sip on at all times, or have your doctor’s phone number on speed dial. Know that these feelings will likely happen at some point in time, and be ready to deal with them when they do.
7. Remember that everything you’re going through is completely normal and OKAY. It’s important and helpful to know that everyone goes through a stall at some point. Everyone has pain during the first couple of weeks after surgery. Everyone eats something they shouldn't at some point. Whatever it is you’re going through - someone else has likely gone through it!
8. Finally, DON’T GIVE UP! Remember that this is a journey. As the old saying goes, “It’s a marathon, not a sprint.” There will be ups and downs on this wild roller-coaster ride. There will be twists and turns and loop-de-loops and there will be many moments when you feel like you’re laying over on your side. But, in the end, it will all be worth it. Your health, your life, and YOU ARE WORTH IT!!

It really isn't as "we have it so much harder" when you compare to other addictions. Smokers can't just "avoid" triggers. Maybe by never seeing smoking friends again, avoiding access to cigarettes by never leaving the house or going to a store, gas station, etc. Never driving because someone next to you may be smoking and that could trigger something just as watching a food commercial or seeing bad items at the buffet. Never going somewhere with smokers so they'd never be tempted to ask for one... you get the idea.
Think of it as very similar situations. Both people have to face their addictions and cravings, have to find a way with it being part of daily life, and have to find in themselves the ability for behavioral change to be successful. Only smokers don't have readily available "SLS" surgeries to help them be able to say no to 8/10 cigarettes, or feel satisfied after smoking 1/10 of it. :smile2:
Did your pre-op psychologist work through any of these issues with you, or have you sought help post-op? A good therapist really can do a lot to help. (They're not all good, though, have to use much discretion.)
No one can make thoughts disappear, you will always have thoughts and there's always the possibility that one will just so happen to be about a food subject. But you can change behaviors, find out your root causes for overeating (they vary, e.g. most people are emotional eaters, but I am not, a concept emotional eaters have a hard time with and vice versa). When you know why, you can start working on fixing it. If you classify your need with food (or some sensation directly or indirectly linked to the food) as an "addiction" - and believe it's an addiction, then it's pretty obvious mental and physical balance has to come from somewhere, and if we could all take care of that ourselves, we wouldn't have any fat psychiatrists.
BTW, search for "addiction" and you'll find many others in your same boat, as well as info on the addiction vs. not addiction debate, what people have done to find success, current challenges, etc. It's a long-standing topic here.

hi cajun
i have had spurts when i would eat junk because it was easier and my weight loss stalled. i sat down and asked myself questions similar to the ones you asked yourself in your email.
i was also pissed at myself. i said "i cant believe i had this surgery and i'm eating junk"
2 things that helped me
1. journalling my food on sparkpeople.com
2. exercise. i made myself go to a week long bootcamp to ramp up my endurance. and then i just stuck with a 5-6 day a week routine. when the weight started coming off...it was easier to maintain this and it helped me to stay away from junk
i still struggle with ice cream...but i keep trying.
good luck.

Hi there Cajun! I'm so glad you stopped by and sent out a plea. It is a huge step to even stand up and say you are struggling. How many times in our lives have we not wanted to stand up and say "Help" and instead fed that problem?
We all knew that we had a problem with willpower coming in to this. If we could just "say no" we would. If we would just "get moving more" we would. But if we want this band to work we need to do some things to help it along. It is going to take dedication and some tough love for yourself. Just remember that you are worth it!
I have been very strict about following the band rules. I don't eat soft foods at meal time. I chew chew chew and I listen to my body when I think I'm full I stop. I make sure I eat my solid Protein first and then veggies. If I'm still hungry I eat my carb. I put my food on a small plate instead of a big one. I make sure that I get in all my Water. These are tough things to make sure I do. But those are the rules and I knew that going in.
Notice that exercise was not one of the rules. I have been really bad about that. But as the weight has come off I've been more active in my house. I clean more than I used to. I park further away in parking lots. I take the stairs more. Now that I'm down to a weight where I don't hurt all the time I've amped up the exercise. I told myself that there were going to be no excuses. Honestly once I get out there I enjoy it, but it's the getting out there that is the struggle. I have set myself a goal of getting some sort of exercise every day. Friday night it was not possible, but it has been every other day. On Sunday I even went out when it was sleeting and walked. I cut my time in half because it was cold....but, no excuses, I went.
When I made the exercise goal I also decided to start tracking my food intake. I do mine at Calorie Counter, Diet Tracking, Food Journal, Nutrition Facts at The Daily Plateand like it. There are others out there but that was the first one I went to. I've heard of fitday and sparkspeople also. Here I set my goal, I track my food and my exercise and I see where I am spending my food bucks (those are my calories). I think of what I can have as my budget and then I start shopping around more. I'm a little thrifty IRL so it works for me. I make sure my Protein goal is met each day and then look at how my calories breakdown by fat/protein/carb. I'm not a lowfat sugarfree freak...I just stay under the blue line everyday. If I'm not under the blue line every day the next day I fix it. by doing it everyday I keep better track of my diet.
Honestly, as a fat chick, I had no idea of portions or what the true calorie content in some of these foods are. Heck, some of the baked potatoes I used to eat are higher in cals than I should consume in two meals!! And when you see 1/2 your calories a day coming from fat it's quite an eye opener.
My advice, pick one thing and concentrate on it for a week....maybe two. When it becomes second nature and not WORK anymore, add another of these suggestions into your routine. Again, when these are working successfully, you can add another.....until you find what works for you.
Oh...the other thing I do is weigh every morning. I may fluctuate up and down a bit, but if I see any more than a 2 pound change I'm looking at my diet and my movement to see what the heck I did.
You can do this. You can be successful. You have the tools, and with us you have support. Keep posting and telling us of your triumphs and trials. We are here to support, encourage, and applaud you. Good luck...I look forward to hearing great stuff from you.

Great Idea Stephanie, I am a budget freak. Maybe I will have to think of calories like money.

thanks for posting. I needed to read this today and realize that others are not perfect, it is not only me. i want to know how your doctor appointment went? I have a new doctor that I have seen only twice, but he is upset with me because I have not started exercising yet. I know that I will start before I go back and see him in May. I am afraid he will not see me if I tell him that I have not started exercising. Just changing the way you eat is a big shocker to our systems and I feel tired and out of energy. anyone experience that?

Calinurse,
I have a weird thing where I feel hungrier on the days I exercise, which is mainly walking on the treadmill and/or weights. Anyone else feel hungrier? Sometimes I feel like I'm better off concentrating on my diet than exercising.

Hey there, Cajun.
The most important part of all of this is to STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP! SO many other people in this world will do that for you. I was once told at at Weight Watchers meeting that most of the people in their program--losers and gainers--were perfectionists. How could that be? Wouldn't I be perfectly following the plan if I were a perfectionist? No. Truth be told, when you're a perfectionist, you want everything to be perfect. When one thing throws you off your original plan, you scrap it and vow to start again. For some, that's tomorrow, but for most, it's Monday. Why Monday? Who knows, but it's a convenient excuse. I read someone's posting earlier today about working WITH the band, not against it and she mentioned the excuses. Stop using them to beat yourself up.
You've made the big step of surgically altering your body to lose weight. You now have to believe you're worth the rest of the energy, time, and planning it requires to stay on plan. Find an activity--it doesn't have to be in a gym--that you might actually enjoy, even if it's just to have a friend walk for 10 minutes with you and talk you through it. Build it up slowly..but most importantly, get moving. Think of this as time you give to yourself. You should find something that you like to do--even if it's walking in a mall! Stop as often as you need. You needn't buy anything or even stop in any stores. Stop at every bench you need. Next time, try to go a little farther and skip every other bench. Working out doesn't have to be the torture it's always been for us. It can be social, and it can be fun. You just need to find something that engages you.
As far as the food goes, make every day a new challenge. If you usually like icecream every day, move to a few times a week. Switch to a lower fat version. Weight Watchers now makes 4 oz cups. Can't overeat if you only buy a small amount and don't have the rest in your house. Enable yourself to be successful, not to binge. Set yourself up to succeed. Get rid of crappy foods that you know you shouldn't have OR buy small portions that don't allow you to binge. Like chocolate? Buy a small sample at the store and that's it. If it's too much effort to go back to the store to get more, you're less likely to eat it.
All things considered, we all react differently to the band. Some lose weight fast, others not so much. I, like you, have really struggled....but surprisingly, have come to enjoy working out. I work out every day so even if I lose the battle in my kitchen, I've won somehow. It doesn't entirely balance itself out, but it's the small victories. This isn't a panacea for all that ails you. The band works for those who use it properly. Stop beating yourself up and let it go. When you can start to forgive yourself for minor transgressions, you'll feel better. Figure out what's eating you and you'll feel better. Good luck. I'm glad you posted your story. I think that took a lot of courage. :redface: Thank you.