gowalking

Sounds great! How far out are you two?

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That sounds great! How far out are you two?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using the BariatricPal App

Hi Gina. I'm almost four years out from lapband. January will be my 'bandiversary'.

When I was banded in January 2013, I expected to fail. It's why I was banded and not something more invasive. I figured it wouldn't work, I'd have it removed, and continue to eat myself into an early grave. I was terrified and went into this kicking and screaming. Well..it managed to tamp down the hunger enough for me to make good choices and watch the volume. I lost enough weight to become an active member of the human race instead of watching from the sidelines. I can move without pain, I can play with my grandson...and could not with my granddaughter. I fit everywhere and got my life back.

What you are going through is normal. Believe me...this will work for you as long as you work it.

You may find that some of your heavier friends will have issues with what you are doing as they might be jealous, or scared. Jealous because you might wind up thinner and very different than you used to be, and scared for the same reason. They may feel you are leaving them. Hopefully they will be able to deal with the changes you are/will be going through. If not, you may lose these people. As sad as that may be, it's just a fact that this happens.

Yeah, seems to have been extremely variable experiences both here and somewhere else I posted.

It's interesting, we say 'everyone is different' but we're not, that's why things like public health campaigns work, because you can identify oft common behaviours and trends. I wonder what people whom the band has failed have in common with each other that has been different for the people for whom it has.

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that is a very interesting proposition and as a person who works with data and metrics, I'd really like to see the data for failed lap bands and review for commonalities. @@Alex Brecher, what do you think about some data analysis? Not just for bands, but for all surgeries?

I agree with the poster above. You need to work with a therapist to not stress eat. It's not your band my dear, but how you deal with stressful periods in your life. The band can't and won't be a magic wand. It's a tool and has its limits. You need to work on other things that will help you be successful.

Sorry for the preachy tone...but I've been there and done that. I see a therapist and have been for more than two years to work on the real weight issues because I know that band won't 'cure' what ails me.

Good luck..let us know what you wind up doing.

Well, no surprise. Mr. Wonderful pulled a stunt, refused to sign, made a new list of demands, and there is no agreement as we go into court tomorrow morning. It's in the judge's hands now.

I'm amazingly calm. Did all the preparation I could. Thank you all for your support. I'll carry it with me tomorrow.

JustWatchMe

A friend of mine who is a college professor and a licensed therapist once told me that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. It's fairly obvious that he still has some emotional investment in this relationship albeit not a loving one. Sounds to me though, that you have come out of this as indifferent. Meaning you are calm as you say and did all you could. It is what it is...let the judge decide and let this be over with and done.

You are amazingly strong and I am beyond impressed that you've done what needed to be done and are moving on with your life. I can't compare as my divorce from husband #2 was amicable, but the sh*tshow that lead up to it was emotionally, financially, and physically draining. It was also freeing and it will be for you too.

Wishing you all the best in this horror show you've been going through.

Liz

@@gowalking and @@ginabee38, I'm up for it, too.

great! just let me know when you are around and we can try to meet up.

Please stop trying to analyze her and this situation. As painful as it is and will be, you just have to end it...and end it in your head as well. What you are doing is tantamount to picking at a scab over and over. It will never heal if you don't leave it alone.

Is this group still active? I see some recent posts. I'm still pre-op, but I am building my community now and meeting all different people. If there is another meet and greet I would be interested in attending.

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Hi @ginabee38. Unfortunately, not really as there was some interest at first but it waned over time. Lisa and I however are around still and can help with questions that you have. Also...I'm in Manhattan and would be happy to meet up with you if you are in the area.

It has been absolutely the best thing I could have ever done, if anything, no one told me how easy this would be once I got past the initial adjustment stages (both me and the band)

But those in the know cannot possibly predict how each individual would handle it, so their comments had to be the standard for all WLS candidates.

I do wish, I knew just how prominent the port would be sticking out under my skin.

Once all my excess body fat was lost, and my stomach became flat and hard again, it is very noticeable and I (as a man) am very self-conscious when walking around without a shirt on or wearing a tight shirt...which I want to do to show off my body, but avoid because of that large protruding bump.

@B-52...speak to your surgeon and have him/her put the port behind the abdominal muscle as I noted I had done. The bump is almost completely gone. The only issue is that fills can be a little more painful as the needle is going through the muscle and usually does not for most patients.

Here's what I think you should say to her. Tell her you feel there is no future for the two of you...and that you cannot be 'just friends' with her. You simply tell her this and you don't try to tell her what she may not be able to hear and/or process. Believe me...I understand that to walk away with no explanation seems cruel but any more than what is necessary won't help either. As hard as it may be for her, even if you tell her via email, it's better than nothing. But then....you must stay away. No more contact. Otherwise, it's like a parent who threatens a child with some type of punishment and then doesn't see it through. The child then knows the parent isn't serious. If you want this relationship over, you must must must break off contact after you 'explain' why it cannot continue at any level.

Hope this helps.

Just my observation based on what you've told us...and what others are posting. I don't know that she's playing you...I think she is a very confused and scared young lady. I also think you still have feelings for her and want to help or even fix her. Here's the thing...some people can't be fixed. I think she's one of them. I think she is toxic to you...even if she doesn't mean to be. I think as hard as it will be, you need to cut contact with her as you note above. I don't even know if you should wait for her to start the new job. If she's going to be devastated by your move, her job won't make a difference in how she feels. You, however, need to do what you need to do. If cutting her out is what you need to do...do it now.

And this is coming from a woman who only months ago, had this happen to her. Not that I was toxic to this man I was dating..but he felt the relationship had run it's course. I didn't know he felt that way so it was a hurtful thing he did but telling someone it's over is never easy..and there's never a good time if the feelings are not mutual.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Hi guys,

What do you wish you'd known or been able to find out in an easier manner before you had lap band surgery?

I think I would have liked more easily accessible scientific data on the ranges of weight loss from the surgery and the complications of certain lifestyle habits (such as, if patients lose on average 50% of their excess weight, what does that average look like for non-smokers versus smokers?).

Also, the fact that I have a bumpy bit under my skin where the port is - I didn't realise it would stick out!

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I wish I had known how successful I would be. I lost all my excess weight and got my life back. I don't think you can calculate something like that but in my experience, it's beyond belief. I used to be housebound almost as I could barely walk. Now I can do almost anything and my life has improved a thousand percent.

As far as the port goes....I lost so much weight that it stuck out like a golf ball under my skin. I had a small surgery to have it put behind the abdominal muscle. Now I hardly notice it.

Hi Sarah. It's more than possible as I too lost all my excess weight on a steady basis. It still took more than a year as I had an awful lot to lose. I never lost more than 3 lbs. in a week, but it was a fairly steady loss of 1-2 lbs. per week. and I also did not get any fills for a long time. Even now..almost four years after being banded, I have less than 5 ccs in the band.

Just know however, that this is NOT typical. Most banded folk...and most WLS folk, regardless of what surgery they got, do not lose weight in a steady fashion. It tends to be in fits and starts...and sometimes you can gain, or get off track. Just as a heads up, I used the myfitnesspal app to track my food. it was a great help to me so consider it as well.

good luck and glad t hear of your success!

I agree. This is likely not related to weight loss at all but possibly musculoskelatal or neurological. Speak with your primary physician immediately.

After a few years I'm back on here after being at what seems like my wits end. I had the surgery in October of 2013 and had gotten myself down to 279 (90 pounds lost). Since getting a new boss last year, planning a wedding, and getting married I have gotten back up to 310.

I know the reasons why. I started eating Snacks after dinner again, drinking a lot more wine, and eating full plates of food. I cannot eat full plates in one sitting. I can take two bites and then am stuffed. Now, however, I wait it out until those two bites go down and eat two more, then two more, and so on.

I need help. Advice. Anything. Stress eating help?

I exercise 30 min/3x per week (cardio).

I see a brand new lap band doctor on Thursday as my old surgeon moved out of state. Interested to see what he says....

- Nicole

While some posters are recommending revisions, I'd say that your issues are emotional rather than the band not working. You've learned how to eat around it and that's the problem. Talk to the doctor, be honest with him or her, and see what he/she says about fills vs. a mind reset so to speak. It might behoove you to consider working with a therapist. I do. She had been banded at one time and understands better than most, how to help me to navigate the world of successful WLS and more importantly, how to maintain that success. Good luck and keep us posted.

I don't know why it works for some and not for others. All I know is that so far, it works great for me...no band complications and as long as I do my part, no serious weight gain since hitting goal. I'm hoping to one day get to the same marks as our founder Alex, who has his band for around ten years now. I'm not far from my four year anniversary so I've a ways to go yet.

What a beautiful picture! You look spectacular. Truly.

Regarding this date and how it impacts you....yesterday was 22 years that my husband passed away. Once again, my son posted the picture of him bringing his daughter to the grave to pay his respects...and to show Alexis off to him. Obviously I can't compare one year to 22 but what I want to do is give you a glimpse into the future. The anniversary date will not be as raw and difficult as it is now. And as time passes, you may use this date to remind yourself how far you've come and how much you still enjoy life even with him not part of it. I don't mean this in a bad way...I mean this to show you that you must keep enjoying your life...as that is what he would have wanted. I know that's what Alan would have wanted. I live my life hoping he is doing so with me...even if it's as a passenger in my heart. I took great satisfaction that 22 years after Alan passed from this world...his wife is doing great. Living the dream so to speak. I also take the same great satisfaction to see that our children went about their business yesterday spending time with their families and also living their lives as they do every day by being wonderful fathers and husbands. This is a better memorial to him than any words or monuments can say. Hang in there dear heart...I know how hard today is for you. Tomorrow will be the start of a new day, and embrace it with joy and enthusiasm as it's the best way you can honor your husband and the love you shared.

Holding you in my heart.

Liz

THAT...is a gorgeous dress! Oh and the body inside it isn't bad either...

Help keep us "newbies" motivated as we navigate through all of the pre-op requirements. What can you do now that you couldn't do before?

You've read about some of the physical things people can do that they couldn't before. Let me tell you about the other stuff. How about being able to look people in the eye knowing there is nothing they can comment on or make a face at that they might have before. How about feeling comfortable enough to talk to people, or go on a date, or assert yourself, or apply for a job you may not have before. How about feeling normal or even good about how you look. How about not worrying about what others are thinking, how about seeing something in the window of a store and knowing you can go in there and try it on. How about just the fact that you are even in the mindset to be looking at all at something in the window because you want to be noticed...and not for the wrong reason.

Shall I go on? Yes...the physical stuff is wonderful. I'd be one to know as I once was unable to walk more than a few steps before having to sit again. But along with being able to move better, or fit somewhere better...how about feeling like you fit into this world and not just into a seat.

I feel blessed every day since having my surgery because I checked out of life for a long time and am doing everything I want and hope that I can make up for the years I just existed.

Hope that's enough motivation for the newbies. If not, I have a list a mile long. Welcome to the forum!

Hello, I have lost 173 lbs over the last 3 years. People are starting to tell me I am handsome and charming. I still see myself at 500 plus Any input?

Therapy my friend, therapy. I had the same thing happen to me and had no idea how to live life like a normal sized person as I had been overweight and then obese for several years. I'm still dealing with it and truthfully think at times that I will always see myself as a fat girl. I look in the mirror alot. And I take alot of pictures. My sister thinks I've become self absorbed, but it's not that at all. I need confirmation of my new size and photos help alot. Oh and I added a before/after picture so you can see what I've been dealing with. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

I can't help you with a recommendation as I am no where near your area...but I can say that you need a supportive PCP immediately. This doctor is wrong wrong wrong about WLS.

Telling you to 'eat right and exercise' is the same as having someone tell you to just 'walk away' from the table. That's so NOT helpful and it's more than that. At best, it's condescending and to me, I'd say she is potentially doing you harm by not having your best interests at heart and instead is showing her own ignorance and prejudice.

Stupid doctor....

Honestly...all you can do during such a stressful time is not go totally off the rails. Keep on with the support system(s) you have in place and know that we have your back as much as possible in this virtual world we are in.

I guess I was living in a bubble for a long time as I was so not aware of how many of us live with chronic pain. I still remember when my doctor did that stupid pain scale and I said my pain on one particular visit was 4-5 and he said it looked to him like my pain level was worse based on how I was walking/sitting, etc.

I reminded him that pain was subjective and since my highest pain was more than most people could bear, my version of a 4-5 would likely immobilize someone not used to living this way.

I do my best to not have it impact my life...or impact it as little as possible.

I'm glad this thread is here...to get input and advice and just comfort in knowing I'm not alone in dealing with this.

When I graduated from high school I was a size 13 and thought I was fat. Now 26 years later, I am in a size 14 pants and I couldn't be more thrilled. 99 pounds gone and healthier than I was in high school. just over 2 weeks until I run a 10 mile race! (my first - although last weekend I ran more than 11 miles) Happier and more self confident than ever.

I even started teaching again this week. (I left teaching 9 years ago, not related to my weight, but...the time was right and I am now teaching ESL once a week. Can't believe how much I missed it.) I'm not sure I would have had the confidence or energy to try teaching after working a full day if I had even thought about it a year ago. I even interviewed last week on the phone for a more teaching focused position. I am just waiting to hear if I am being asked back for a second interview. Getting the job would mean moving 150+ miles to a small town, albeit near where I graduated from high school, and essentially starting over. The thought thrills me! I've stayed in the job I have now for 4 years, about 2 longer than I should have, because it was safe, but now...

Is this all related to my WLS? No, but do I have the confidence and energy to even pursue these big dreams because of the surgery? Yes, most definitely.

pam

Actually Pam...I'd say that all of this is related to your WLS. It's the source of your newfound confidence and energy and I think all this good stuff can be traced back to the weight loss.

I still find it so amazing when I read stories about how people have literally claimed their lives back. And I'm not talking about just the obvious physical aspects. We all know that carrying less weight opens up a whole new world of pushing ourselves physically. It can mean anything from getting out of a wheelchair or off a cane, to running a marathon.

But...the stories about reclaiming our lives...that's what is so exciting. Sometimes it's hard. I've seen lots of posts about leaving bad relationships but it takes a strong person to do what is necessary. Losing the weight helps to make us strong. Or like yourself....going for a new position/leaving a position we stayed in because it was safe... Hell...there are dozens and dozens of stories like this and it makes me so proud of the people I've met here. THIS is the goal of WLS. Not what we weigh but what we do to embrace our lives with the extra weight gone.

Great story Pam...so inspiring!