gowalking

Pray for me friends. I close on the house in four hours and move tomorrow. Suddenly getting very anxious. I know it will all be fine but it's a bit overwhelming.

JustWatchMe

Doin' a happy dance for ya kiddo!!

I too, rarely respond to posts anymore. I'm too far out from newbies and I let others take the lead on questions posed. What I do try to do is give hope to those who feel hopeless. If I can accomplish that, it's enough. All I know is when I read old posts now and again, I get sad because so many of the people who were here when I started and even during my weight loss journey are simply gone now.

I can't help but wonder where they are as they were so important to me as I was going through everything. I hope they are all well and happy and have just moved on...but there was a time when I had really good virtual friends here and not many are left now...

Sorry for the sad post...

Thanks for all the responses...just had another coworker comment on my weight just now. I have been at work for less than an hour and I have had three people say something. It really is starting to wear down on me.

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It's people who know/knew us as heavy who make comments obviously and who say we are too thin. Hang in there..it will stop. I'm almost four years out and had the same thing to the extreme. I was out on disability for two months and then out again shortly thereafter also due to medical issues. By the time I got back to the office on a regular basis, lots of folks didn't recognize me at all. Really. They only knew who I was when I started to talk. It was very disturbing to say the least. Fast forward a couple of years, and no one remembers me when I was heavy. No one comments anymore, and everyone is used to me now. It will happen to you as well...just give it time.

A senior tour sounds really good. I bet you would meet lots of nice women on it. That's the good thing about us widows...we are much better than men in reaching out and socializing even when we're on our own.

The men just remarry.

Nice itinerary ...unsure if it is hot or cold on that voyage? What do you think?

not hot Julie. on the cool side actually....50's most likely...occasional 60s but we're not counting on it. Not bad weather for touring. We took this trip over some of the others because the other itineraries didn't have all the stops we were looking for. sis and I think they threw in Stockholm and Oslo to get people to book who are on the fence due to the earlier time period. we know that July and August is better weather...but it's also more expensive...and more important, not the itinerary we wanted.

So..this might help you with your 'jealousy'.

I was supposed to get banded in October of 2012. My surgery was put on hold because Hurricane Sandy closed the hospital I was to go to. I had absolutely no idea when I would be banded. The hospital finally reopened in January and I had my surgery three months after I was initially scheduled. The delay was horrible at the time. I'm all ready...and Mother Nature intervenes.

Fast forward to today and those three months I was delayed meant nothing in the longrun. You'll get your surgery in January and this part of your journey will begin. Then, when you are as far out as I am...you will be able to say that the delay also meant nothing in terms of the big picture.

Hang in there...these next few months will fly by or crawl by...I'm not sure which. But at the end of the day, you will have your surgery and begin the newest and bestest chapter of your life.

Wow Liz. What a trip!! Cruises are such luxury to not move luggage in each destination. The food often looks better than it is sometimes.

The sit down dinners are lovely. And they do have a gym and many stairs!!!

You deserve a wonderful trip!!!

Thanks Julie. I've taken many cruises but most have been in the Caribbean so this is quite different for me. We're taking Celebrity so that is also new for me. I've mostly done Norwegian and Holland America.

Told my manager today about needing two weeks off. All she wanted to know was if I had coverage and I told her I was working on it...

Speaking of vacations...here's my itinerary (courtesy of my sister the travel agent in training..lol) for our Scandinavia trip of a lifetime we're taking this spring. Couldn't have even dreamt of this before WLS.

Thank you for your post. So glad you checked in with us and updated us on what's going on. Every day without any fanfare or kudos, people do for each other out of love and respect and that's what I've gotten out of your post. Obviously mom did something right to have raised such a wonderful daughter who can manage both mom's care and not falter in managing her own life.

Hi there I am going to be in New York City near helix kitchen for two weeks from This Sunday. Anyone up for a chat? Love to catch up and get some mutual loving and supporting going on? I am banded since September 2015. I live in Europe cheers Birdy

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Hi Birdy. I live close to Hells Kitchen and if you are referring to 20November, I believe I'm available that day. Would love to meet a fellow bandster. I've made friends in Paris and Reykjavik on this site, so I'm no stranger to meeting other BP folks. Where are you from?

Liz

Ah...Alfred, Alfred, Alfred...

You just asked the $64,000 question. (that is a reference to an old quiz show BTW)

I'm almost four years out from surgery and have been at or near goal for two and a half years. I still have to be mindful not to self sabotage. I have had to find other ways to cope with stress, anger, boredom, fear, etc. While I don't recommend this to everyone, I needed to get professional guidance to help me find these other coping mechanisms.

I'll suggest staying on this site for support. Going to bariatric support groups, reading books about how other addicts deal with their addiction (and yes..I do believe most of us are food addicts)

All I can say on a positive note is that the longer we are 'normal', the more routine it gets. But..and this is a big but..the temptation is always there and many vets like me have good days and bad days. What I do is stop the slide before it becomes unmanageable. That, I think, is the difference this time. The tool we have been given, allows us to reset before we get too far.

So..good luck, keep us posted and come here as often as possible for help and support.

I live in Los Angeles where people follow different diets and have different eating habits. I'm 2.5 years post op and haven't had a server comment on my order. Not one. I haven't had a single person comment on how much I've eaten. I've never had anyone ask if I was sure I didn't want a drink with my meal or if I didn't like the food. Not one server has blinked an eye. Just lucky, I guess.

Nope. It's because you live in LA. I live in New York City and also have never ever had a server question what I ordered or how much of it I ate. Never. Really...never.

I usually host the big blow out meal for Thanksgiving, with family, cousins and friends who are on their own. This year, we're traveling for a few weeks around Thanksgiving and we'll be in New York. Our children will join us for the holiday. I expect a much smaller turkey, fewer sides and one dessert. Or we go out. But we will definitely line up on the street to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

I live in NY and have been to the parade a couple of times. Enjoy it...you will have a blast. If you can, head to the upper west side the night before and watch the balloons being inflated. It's become a big deal now and they have barriers up but when I used to go when the kids were small, you could get up close and personal with all the big balloons.

While I agree we all can and should eat less, I think you may be overstepping on this special day for the other eight adults coming. It may be the last Thanksgiving they decide to eat at mom and dads. And whats Thanksgiving without leftover turkey sandwiches. If you don't want to eat turkey the following week, then leave the leftovers to the other eight adults. It's turkey, its not going to be any more work to cook, just a little longer in the over 16 lbs vs. 12 lbs. as someone else mentioned its not pie or cake. Now I might speak up and say, hey, lets not go overboard with the Desserts.

But I wouldn't get into a pissing match with dad over this. Its suppose to be an enjoyable event and these holidays between Thanksgiving and New Years are stressful enough for many of us. Do not push your new way of eating and living on others unless they ask. It's very annoying.

Speaking of holidays, Happy Halloween.

Oh not to worry...in the big picture, I know this is not something to make an issue over. All I was trying to say was that the mindset is just so different than in years past. And actually mom said a 12 lb turkey will be much easier to handle...

Happy Halloween back!

Heading to South Florida for Thanksgiving. There will be nine of us. All adults...no children. Mom wanted to make a 16 lb. turkey along with lasagne and assorted sides. I ticked off the names of all the attendees including her and dad. No one other than my sister and possibly the 25 year old young man who is included in the guest list is a big eater. Some of us eat small because we are watching our weight and some are just not big eaters anymore due to illness and old age.

I told mom a 12 lb. turkey would do. Several times in fact. I know that in my family, and likely many others, the greatest sin is not having enough food. As such, there would be tons of it and lots of leftovers...but also lots of overeating. The new mindset is that we have enough. More than enough. Every day I remind myself that food is part of my life, not my life. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. But I try each and every day to eat clean and smart. I have no problem anymore suggesting some of the same to other members of my family.

Now having said that, I suspect when all is said and done, it will be a 16 lb. turkey as my dad will overrule her.

I also suspect that I will be eating turkey till I head back home a week later...

So I am starting to believe they are a myth! I have been on dating sites and most women have dogs or don't like cats. WTH? where are all the single cat ladies that I always heard so much about? I'm a single cat guy so it's obvious that a single cat lady is my match. haha

Don't give up. I am both a dog and cat lady and my second husband was a big cat person. Eventually we added four puddies to our family.

I must admit, when the marriage ended, I missed the cats way more than him...

I constantly wallow in guilt and shame about my weight. It bothered my mom so much, my earliest memories are all about my weight. When I was four or five, she kept a scale in the kitchen to weigh me before and after every meal. She called me Miss Piggy and wouldn't allow me the same foods my siblings got. Honestly, it was a self fulfilling prophecy. I actually was normal weight until middle school when the pounds began to pile on. I was tremendously unhappy as a teen.

I don't look in mirrors, don't take pictures. Even now that I've lost the 60 pounds, I am still ashamed of the way I look. I am a successful professional, a great mother, and active in two charities, but when I think about myself, I am just fat.

Two weeks ago was the first time my husband's workmates ever met me, because I was too ashamed to be seen before that.

Yep. I know I sound like a total loon, but for me fat has always been synonymous with failure. I'm working on it though. One day, I will learn to love my appearance.

nope...you're not a loon...far from it. I suspect many many of us have been through similar and I know I struggle same as you regarding fat=failure.

I am with butterfly23 Shame is a good word for how i felt. Although i have not had surgery yet and this topic died down some i am going to revive it again.

I have always been overweight as a kid we had so little that when we did have a little bit of something extra my mom would treat us with going to the store with her and letting us pick out something to keep all to our selves. I had a horrible childhood my father was an alcaholic and would come home every weekend and fight with my mom. When it was over and he was gone again my mom saw how terrified we were so she would give us a snack what ever we had at the time to take our minds off of it.

Well those habbits grew stronger and they stayed with me all through out life. Growing up things happened that made the word horrible feel like heaven.

Growing up and all through out school i had kids teenagers and adults pick on me. They would walk behind me and call me frankenstein i am tall too and buffalo butt. If i had to walk i would have the bigger kids drive by me several times yelling out the worst of the worst. As a teenager in highschool i finally learned that i could use my size to intimidate the bullies. Only so they could do it behind my back i would go out to the parking lot to find my car smeared with cupcakes and ugly names written all over it. So much for intimidation.

I never made friends easily i lacked social skills from the way we were raised . My father finally let my older sister go to a dance he forced me to go chaperone her oh joy. She had grown into her looks and body the last thing she wanted was me hanging around so she left me sitting on chairs on the dance floor. A boy walked over and asked me to dance i got up amd smiled then he said NOT i dont dance with pigs. Well there went my self esteem lol and in went more food.

So time went by i finally grew out of the awkward stage by this point i had thicker skin now but i was so tall that my extra weight did not look like i was obese. You can see i was chunky but i had actually had a pretty face or at least that is what people would say you know, oh you have such a pretty face to bad your heavy. Anyways i met my ex husband married him not sure if i really loved him but seemed like the right thing to do to get away from home. Needless to say i failed at marriage. In went more food since then ive had two failed relationships one i had gotten pregnant with first child out went the man. However pregnancy was something i wanted so bad. I had a miscarriage. I was told it was probably my weight. In went more food.

So now im 41 it is probably to late to have kids you need a man for that, one that loves you granted. I am plagued with all kinds of health problems and i hurt my knees at work. Go see a doctor they say im so bad that in two years i will be in a wheel chair great. Another year later my pops gets sick and passes away now who am i going to blame? In goes more food. 42 years old i fall on my arse at home off the concrete stairs while changing Water outside at 2 in morning i work nights. i am 391 pounds 5feet 10in. I had to crawl back up the stairs after laying there for 10 min scariest thing that happened to me not because of the actual fall but because of what could of happened. Thats it i go see surgeon. I have meeting and he tells me granted mom is in room it is not your fault. Never had i had five words mean so much to me its like i could stop faking being happy and just be happy. I know i had as much to blame for everthing going wrong and how i would deal with it but after so many failed attempts to lose the gut it was nice to hear those words. Now i will see if i can live the rest of my life for me. So yes shame is a good word and regret not making a change sooner.

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I'm no therapist but it's obvious from the poster here that obesity is the end product of often very dysfunctional childhoods and resulting bad choices as adults. It just happened to take the form of food addiction rather than alcohol or drugs.

While I was fortunate enough to have had a better childhood and had a very good life overall, my go-to choice whenever stress or anger or disappointment or pretty much anything upset me, was food. Period, end of story. Believe me...no one my height of five foot nothing gets to weigh nearly 300 lbs. just because she likes to eat.

I totally agree....

I moved the port of the band during Tummy Tuck. It doesnt protude anymore.

I needed my port moved as well. No tummy tuck but it stuck out like a golf ball. Even got caught on my belt sometimes and warning...might be TMI, but certain positions in the bedroom caused a problem as well. Not anymore though now that it's tucked behind the muscle..

Very glad to see a meeting taking place again. And also glad to see one finally on Long Island. I do hope we once again have regular meetings and of course I'm looking forward to attending the next one.

Have a great time everyone...take pictures LOL.

Lisa...you might want to PM @@Alex Brecher. Would be nice if he can also make it.

So...I went on low dose oral steroids less than a month ago and while my pain has lessened...I've gained nearly 7 lbs. I'm going to start to titrate myself off by going to one pill every other night and tell my rheumatologist I want off all together. I think I'd rather have the pain than the weight gain and all the potential side effects.

Yeah...prednisone. That's what I'm on.

I think maybe I'll consider titrating off it and see if the pain worsens to where it's hard to function. That's the problem with chronic pain as all you good friends know. It skews perception and it's hard to know what is tolerable and what is not.

Thanks for the feedback and support!

So, was having a grand old time with the new bf going out to eat, and all that fun stuff with food. Then I noticed last week in particular that my clothes are getting tight...and that won't do at all. I decide to take myself in hand and get back to where I needed to be. Did just that....and gained even more weight. What the hell??? Even friends and co-workers are noticing the gain. They say I look good now...not so drawn. But all I know is that some of my favorite clothing is too tight and I refuse to go back there.

A fill I think. Maybe I need another fill. But no...I know that's not it. I'm not walking around hungry all the time. So what's up?

Steroids. It's steroids my friends.

My rheumatologist perscribed oral steroids low dose for me about six weeks ago to see if that would help with my pain and discomfort from the joint disease. I'm not sure if it's working or not...I feel better sometimes but not all the time. Not when I used to get 'the good stuff' from my pain management doctor to help me break a pain flare. But the light suddenly went on over my head and I just looked up side effects and there it was: weight gain.

That sucks. I'm gaining weight and it has nothing to do with food. What crap is that?? Gonna have to have a conversation with the rheumatologist when I see him later this month. He better not tell me to eat less...or I might just bite HIS head off...

Sounds like we have a plan! Lets secure this Saturday at 4 PM. We can meet at the coffee house. @@laney if you would please post the name and the address of the place for everyone I'll put up a posting about it

Look forward to meeting you all!

Unfortunately, I can't make it but you are all in good hands with Lisa both as a knowledgeable moderator and an experienced and empathetic friend. Enjoy...can't wait to hear all about it.

I for one am soooo excited for you to start your new life. I expect it will be wonderful!!